


Yours

by Nerdygirlygirl



Series: I'm yours and you are mine [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M, Multi, New York City
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-14 16:56:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 94,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3418409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdygirlygirl/pseuds/Nerdygirlygirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy has bigs plans for the day, but what he doesn't plan is for his little sister and all their friends to show up and help him. And by help they mean tell embarrassing stories of how he was in love with Clarke Griffin for almost 15 years before doing anything about it.</p><p>It starts as a flashback, but will mostly run chronologically from college and a few years after. It's a story being told by all of their friends, but they're may be some stories within stories about their childhood and high school.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dear Future Husband

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter will probably have a title related to a song that has may or may not have something to do with the chapter. It could be a particular lyric in the song or just the title by it's self. I'll let you know about the songs. 
> 
> I'm not going to comment on this chapter's title, other than to say it's a song by Megan Trainor from her album Title. I was going to keep the big surprise a secret, but I think its pretty obvious from what is being said and if not the title should give it away. And if you still can't get it, then either I am a horrible writer or you'll just have to wait until the end to find out! :)

"What's your day like today?" Clarke looked up from the notes she had spread out on the kitchen table while eating her breakfast.

"Oh, you know. The usual. Meetings all morning with the Commander and court all afternoon," she smiled at Bellamy from across the table. 

"So just the typical Clarke Griffin saving the world kind of day?" He smirked at her and she grinned back at him. 

"You wish. I leave the hero stuff for you," Clarke stood up and gathered all her notes and began placing them in her briefcase. "Will I see you for lunch?" 

"Can't. Faculty meeting. They always schedule them during lunch. NYU must think that if they feed us we won't protest about spending our lunch hours holed up going over administrative stuff."

"Alright," she let herself pout a little. "Then dinner?"

"I wouldn't miss it, princess," he smiled as she leaned down and kissed him.

"You're a terrible liar," she whispered against his lips and turned to leave. "Thanks for breakfast!" She called over her shoulder. "And happy anniversary," she smiled from the door before closing it.

Clarke was wrong. He was a great liar. Lied to her for over 15 years, but if you asked Octavia or any of their other friends, they would say Clarke had been in denial for over 15 years and that he was a terrible liar.

Bellamy's phone beeped and he looked down and thought, speak of the devil and she will text.

He decided to call her instead and she answered somewhat breathlessly, "That was a close one. I almost ran into her. Thank god she was on the phone or else she would have seen me.

"You're here?" Bellamy asked.

"Yeah. Downstairs. Be up in a minute."

He began to clean up the breakfast, but left some extra for his little sister who barged into the apartment a few minutes later.

"Oh," she cooed. "You made her breakfast. How cute," she used her that's so cute voice.

Bellamy rolled his eyes, "There's some for you, O."

He moved to the kitchen to clean up. When he came back into the room, Octavia was looking around the living room with a piece of bacon in her hand. 

"Are you going to decorate or anything?" She turned to look at her brother.

"No. Why would I do that?" 

"I don’t know. It might be nice."

"Its suppose to be a surprise. If she walks in and the place is decorated, she'll know something is up."

"She already knows," Octavia responds 

Bellamy looks shocked, "O, if you told her, I swear to God…"

"Relax, big bro. I didn't tell her, but you made her breakfast…" He looked at her like so what. "On your actual anniversary. Not the made up one a month from now that you swear is your anniversary."

"There's still time… I can do it then."

"No. You're doing it today. No chickening out. Besides, today is suppose to be about her and this is the day she chose for your anniversary so you're doing it today," she looked around once more and added. "Also, I can't keep this secret in anymore. Its been two months of hell."

"I doubt its been hell, O. I'm sure you told Lincoln already," he glanced at her and she blushed.

"Who else did you tell?" He groaned thinking of all of their friends wondering who would be the first to spill the beans. 

"No one. I swear… Okay. Maybe Raven? Also, Jasper and Monty. Miller too…" She trailed off.

"Miller's on me. I told him first," Bellamy sat down.

"No. I did. He's just a good actor."

"Damn it, O."  
"Sorry," Octavia sat down across from him and squeezed his hand. She knew he wasn't really mad. He was just nervous. "Do you know what you're going to say?"

"No. No idea. I keep thinking I'll come up with something, but nothing."

"I think I can help with that," she glances at the door just as someone knocks. Octavia jumps up and skips to the door throwing it open, "You're late."

Bellamy turns around to see Lincoln standing there as he leans down to kiss Octavia, "Sorry. We ran into some issues." He steps into the apartment followed by Raven and Miller and Monty and Jasper.

"What are you all doing here?" Bellamy stands and moves towards all his friends.

"You really think we wouldn't be here for this. After all this time?" Raven punches him in the arm and plops down on the couch. Miller pats Bellamy on the shoulder as he makes his way into the living room after Raven. 

Monty and Jasper seem to hesitate before Monty throws his arms around Bellamy, "I'm so excited for you guys!"

Jasper hands him a bottle of champagne and says, "For later…" Bellamy laughs as Octavia takes the champagne and chills it for him.

Lincoln smiles and apologizes for intruding as he makes his way into the living room followed by Octavia and finally Bellamy. 

"Alright. Can someone explain what's going on? I appreciate you all being here, but you can't stay for dinner."

"Oh. We won't be here for that. We'll leave before Clarke gets home, but O knew you'd be a bit nervous and not know what to say," Raven responds from the arm chair that she has her legs draped over the arms of.

"Which I totally don't believe. I remember a few very rousing and inspiring speeches from one Bellamy Blake that got us into way too much trouble in college," Jasper nods his head as he talks and winks at Bellamy, showing he's on his side.

"So how are you all suppose to help me?" Bellamy rubs the bridge of his nose trying and failing to understand everything.

"We are here to tell you a story," Octavia stands up from where she was sitting next to Lincoln. "We are here to tell you the story of how you fell in love with Clarke. We are here to inspire."

"Oh, God help me," Bellamy sits down in the other arm chair and looks around at all his friends. "I'm not getting out of this one am I?"

"Nope," Octavia smiles. "Now where do we begin…"

"Well we have over 15 years of stories to tell between the five of us," Miller offers.

"Yes," Monty shakes his head. "But I think we should start in college because before that Bellamy couldn't stand Clarke."

"No," Miller responds. "He loved her back then. It was Clarke who couldn't stand him.""Hey!" Bellamy looks at his best friend. "Really, man?"

"Just being honest," Miller shrugs and leans back on his hands.

"Just pick a place and start," Bellamy says regretting allowing them into his place. He just wants to get this over with so he can go back to planning and panicking. 

"Oh. I've got it!" Raven practically jumps from her seat. This isn't going to go well, Bellamy thinks to himself.

"I'm going to start on the very first day I met Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin," Raven rubs her hands together and gets ready to tell her story.

"Yes! I finally get to hear this story," Octavia is practically jumping in her seat.

"How have you never heard this story?" Jasper asks from the floor sitting against the couch.

"Because I refused to tell it and it's not like Clarke realized what was going on and well Bellamy over there is too grumpy to tell it," Raven responds with a sweet smile thrown in his direction.

"Hey. It was you're embarrassing story to tell. Not mine," Bellamy shakes his head just as a pillow is thrown at him. He looks at Octavia who hisses (literally hisses), "Let her tell the story, Bell!"


	2. Welcome to New York

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke meets her new roommate after moving into the dorms and gets a surprise visitor who takes them to their first college party as college students.
> 
> It's going to be a slow burn kind of day.. :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for all the comments and kudos! I was completely floored by how much you all loved it. I'm having fun writing it and I didn't think anyone else would enjoy reading it so it makes my day to hear from all of you. Keep em coming!
> 
> The chapter title is "Welcome to New York" by Taylor Swift.
> 
> I forget to make note on the title of the whole thing - it's also a Taylor Swift song "Wildest Dreams". I couldn't think of what to name it so I just picked my favorite song off her latest album.
> 
> Last thing (I know, I'm sorry), I was originally going to write it as one story with a present day chapter starting it and ending it, but I had so much fun with the present day chapter so I will include present day either at the beginning or end of a chapter. So to tell you who is telling the story. However, the actual stories will all be from Bellamy or Clarke's POV. 
> 
> That's it! Enjoy!

Clarke looked around her dorm room at Columbia University. Her bags were all unpacked. Boxes thrown away. Books on her desk along with a set of sketchbooks and paints. A gift from Wells. She signed in contentment at finally (finally!) being done and in New York.

The door banged open and her new roommate who had moved in yesterday walked in, "All done already?" Raven smiles at her as she fiddled with a radio trying to get a good station.

"Yea. I think I'm finally done. Now what do we do?" Clarke flopped onto her bed and looked over at the other girl.

"I don't know. I know the RA meeting isn't until tomorrow. They're letting everyone settle in and spend one last evening with their families."

"Well we should do something then. My mom left about an hour ago. So we've got all the time in the world."

"Awesome. Maybe we should find a party or something?" Raven looked at Clarke questioningly.

"Ugh. Please don't say a frat party. I really like you. Don't make me change my mind." Raven began laughing loudly, "I was testing you. Glad to know you're not one of those girls."

Raven tossed a pillow at Clarke who caught it laughing.

A knock on their door turned both their heads.

"A visitor already!" Raven hopped off her bed and threw the door open. "Well. Hello there, gorgeous."

Raven threw a smile over her shoulder at Clarke.

"Um. Hi," Clarke instantly recognized that deep voice. She groaned and buried her head in the pillow Raven threw at her. "I think I have the wrong room. Is Clarke Griffin here?"

Clarke rolled off the bed and made her way to the door. Bellamy Blake stood there. Her best friend's older brother. "Octavia send you to check on me?"

"Yup. Wanted to make sure you moved in alright and that you're new roommate wasn't cooler than her," Bellamy smirked at Raven.

"Raven Reyes, Bellamy Blake," Clarke introduced the two. "And you're two hours too late, Blake. I could have used some help moving boxes."

"Is that all I'm good for? Manual labor?"

"Today? Yes. I almost called the guys to help, but then you would have complained that I didn't call you and took your friends away."

"And how do you two know each other?" Raven glanced between the two.

"My little sister happens to be best friends with the princess," Bellamy was now leaning against the door jam grinning at Clarke.

"Princess?" Raven looks to Clarke really hoping she's not one of those spoiled rich girls.

"He's the only one who calls me that. And it’s a really long story why," Clarke rolls her eyes.

"Not really," Bellamy responds. "O and Clarke met when they were five in kindergarten. O came home from school demanding to be a princess for Halloween that year. Mom couldn't figure out why until she met O's new best friend at the Halloween parade," he nodded at Clarke. "She was a princess too."

"My first and last time ever wearing a crown and he'll never let me live it down," Clarke rolled her eyes at Bellamy's smirk.

"Well come on in, best friend's brother," Raven stepped aside so he could walk in. "I'm dying to hear all about my new roomie, Princess Clarke."

Clarke groaned, "Please don't start too."

Bellamy laughed, "I like her. O's going to hate her then."

"So where is this mysterious O?" Raven sat on her bed while Bellamy laid down on Clarke's stretching out comfortably.

"She's at Stanford in California," Bellamy placed his hands behind his head.

"Stanford. That's a good school," Raven said.

"Says the girl who's currently sitting in a freshman dorm at Columbia," Bellamy rolled his eyes while Clarke sat on her bed pushing his legs toward the wall so she'd have room.

"Octavia wanted to get away from her overprotective big brother."

"You wound me, princess. And here I was going to invite you two to Jasper and Monty's housewarming party. Maybe I should find some other Columbia students who would want to hang out at NYU?"

"No. We'll go!" Raven jumped up. "Come on Clarke, be nice so we can get drunk."

"Princess doesn't get drunk," Bellamy smirked.

Clarke turned around and punched him hard. She was aiming for his stomach, but he saw her coming and moved at the last second so she hit his hip bone.

"Ow. Damn it, Bellamy" Clarke shook out her hand.

"That's what? 965?" Bellamy laughed to himself as he sat up and waited for the girls to get ready.

Raven rolled her eyes as she grabbed her bag and things., "965? Do I want to know?"

"That's how many times princess has hit me and I haven't returned the favor because I'm a gentleman and all."

"Not true," Clarke pointed at him. "First, that number is something you made up two years ago and its not accurate. You keep jumping around. Last week it was at 300. And second, you're not a gentleman."

"Ooooh," Raven high fived Clarke. "I'm really liking my new roommate."

Clarke stood up and grabbed her things. She was excited to see the guys. She hadn't seen them in a few weeks. They all headed back to the city early to go apartment hunting, but had come home to see Octavia before she left for California.

As the girls were locking their dorm room and making sure they had everything to get back in, Bellamy's phone rang. "What Miller? … I'm on my way now. … No… She's right here. … Yes, I'm at Columbia. … I told you I was coming here. … Fine. What do you want? … No. Her and her roommate are coming. … Yes, I invited her. Yes, I was nice. … Why do you bother asking if you're not going to believe me? … Fine. Whatever. We'll be there in a half hour. Do the nerds need anything? … Alright. Bye."

Bellamy hung up and looked at the two girls, "Ready?"

They both nodded and gestured for him to lead the way.

_____________________________

It was late and rush hour so they took the subway, which of course was crowded. They did manage to find two seats together and Bellamy motioned for them to take the seats and he stood next to them leaning next to the door with his eyes focused on the floor. Raven was digging in her purse trying to reorganize her coins after they all fell out when they sat down so it gave Clarke some time to herself to look around. She was finally in New York. She had always wanted to live here and her and Octavia had always talked about how they were going to live together and date two guys who happened to be best friends and then get married. She was starting to miss her best friend. Since they were five, they had always gone to school together and ate lunch everyday and ran home from the bus stop. It felt weird starting a new chapter without her.

Clarke dug around in her bag and pulled out her phone and went to her messages.

_Your brother is an ass._

_Tell me something I don't know._ _Did he at least help before he was an ass?_

_No. He showed up an hour after I finished._

_Typical. I'll yell at him._

_Don't worry about it. He's making it up to me and my roommate._

_Yeah? How?_

_Jasper and Monty are having a party!_

_Oh man. I'm gonna miss it._

_I'll take lots of pictures so you can pretend you're here._

_Good! Send one now! Where are you?_

_Subway._

Clarke included a picture of Raven sticking her tongue out at the camera and Bellamy standing and looking at his feet until the flash went off and he glared at her.

"It's for O," Clarke sent the picture and included a _"Miss you! Love you! Lots!"_ before dropping it back in her bag.

_____________________________

As they made their way down a hallway, Clarke could hear music thumping from the door. It promptly shut off and the silence was deafening, but didn't last long. Music began to play again and Clarke immediately recognized the song.

_Walking through a crowd_

_The village is aglow_

_Kaleidoscope of loud heartbeats_

_Under coats_

_Everybody here wanted something more_

_Searching for a sound we hadn't heard before_

_And it said_

_Welcome to New York_

_It's been waiting for you_

_Welcome to New York_

_Welcome to New York_

_Welcome to New York_

_It's been waiting for you_

_Welcome to New York_

_Welcome to New York_

Clarke started laughing and Bellamy groaned, "Who the hell let Monty play DJ?" He banged on the door and Clarke looked at Raven who had a pained expression on her face.

"Don't worry," Clarke whispered to her," Bellamy hates her so we all pretend to love her just to annoy him. Well not really pretend. Monty really does. And Miller has a crush on her. And well O and I grew up listening to her so I guess she just sort of stuck around. And don't let him," she pointed to Bellamy, "fool you. He loves her too."

"The only reason why I know any of her songs is because I'm friends with you."

"When did we become friends?" Clarke laughed and Bellamy rolled his eyes as he banged on the door again.

"It's not too bad. Kind of catchy and perfect for tonight," Raven laughed. "If you ever tell a soul I said that I will beat you to death."

Clarke laughed and held her hands up in surrender just as the door swung open. "

CLARKE!!!" Monty came running out and pushed past Bellamy to wrap his arms around her. "WELCOME TO NEW YORK!!!" He yelled in time to the music and they both laughed. Clarke saw Bellamy grimace and make his way into the apartment.

Jasper came to the door next, "Clarke is here! Clarke is here! Finally!" He grabbed her hand and dragged her in. She looked over her shoulder as Monty grabbed Raven's hand and dragged her in to.

Miller lowered the music and began handing out drinks to everyone as Clarke made introductions.

"Raven, this is Monty Green and Jasper Jordan. That's Nate Miller over there, but everyone just calls him Miller. Guys, this is Raven, my roommate."

They all grumbled in response and Raven smelled her cup and whispered to Clarke, "What the hell is this?"

"It's Monty and jasper's latest batch. They make their own moonshine, but they've been known to experiment too much. It's not too bad. Most of the time. You just have to get use to it."

"How long does it take to get use to it?"

"I don't know. I've been drinking it for the last four years and I'm still not use to it."

Raven chuckled and took a sip and made her way to one of the chairs in the living room. Clarke followed and sat next to Monty on the floor. Sitting on the couch was Miller and Bellamy watching something on Miller's phone and Jasper was sitting in the other chair.

"So," Raven spoke up. "This is probably the oddest collection of people I've ever met. And I mean that in a good way. How did you all meet?"

"Well, Jasper and I grew up next door to each other so we've been friends for a long time. Maybe 10 or 12 years. We met Clarke and Octavia when we we're freshman and they were not even in high school yet."

"They snuck out to a high school party and spent the whole night with the coolest guys there," Jasper finished.

"That's because it was the nerdiest high school party ever," Miller responds.

"Then why were you and your boyfriend there," Clarke points to Bellamy sitting next to Miller.

"Boyfriend?" Bellamy says.

"What? I'd make an excellent boyfriend for you," Miller acts insulted.

"The couch couple," Monty jerks his head in Miller and Bellamy's direction, "met their freshman year playing football. You know late night locker room showers and love taps," Monty taps his own butt to demonstrate.

Everyone starts laughing and Miller and Bellamy move away from each other on the couch.

When everyone takes a breath, Jasper concludes, "While we all know they would have made the cutest high school sweethearts, they were actually the best players our football team head in like 50 years. Them and Wells."

At the mention of Wells, Bellamy gets very engrossed in the ceiling and Monty looks to Clarke and Miller is trying and failing to hide a grin. Clarke can fell Raven's eyes on her so she meets the other girl's eyes and says, "Wells is my ex."

"Oh," Raven nods in understanding as Bellamy grimaces and Miller's grin gets even bigger and then he dissolves into laughter.

Monty who is sitting on the floor near his feet reaches over and stomps on his foot - hard.

"OW! God damn it, Monty! What was that for?"

Monty glares back at him and Bellamy jumps off the couch, "I need a refill. Anyone else?"

Jasper raises his glass and Miller pushes his across the coffee table towards Bellamy, but still watching Monty. Clarke stands up, "I'll help."

Bellamy nods and follows her to the kitchen.

They start adding more of the moonshine and some other stuff to take the edge off.

"You okay, princess?" Bellamy asks quietly.

"Hm. Oh yeah. I'm fine. We broke up two years ago. I can hear his name without it being a big deal."

"I know. You just got quiet when Jasper brought him up." Clarke just shrugged and they headed back out to their friends.

The rest of the night continued and more friends of the guys showed up. Clarke and Raven retreated to a corner with Monty and were quietly drinking and watching Jasper try (and fail) at flirting with some girl who was clearly a previous conquest of Bellamy's because she kept watching him walk around the room.

"Oh no, Clarke, you better watch out," Monty said after Raven had finished telling a story about her high school boyfriend trying to do the moonwalk at the school's talent show and instead of moving across the stage like Michael Jackson, he fell off the stage and earned the nickname Spacewalker for the rest of the year.

"Why?" Clarke said trying to dry her eyes.

"Roma," Monty nodded towards a brunette wearing a tight crop top and jeans.

"Who?" Raven asked.

"She was obsessed with Bellamy during their freshman year of college," Monty responded.

"And what does that have to do with Clarke?"

"She thinks Clarke was his high school girlfriend," Monty says quietly

"WHAT?!" Both girls yell loudly drawing a few pairs of eyes towards them.

"I don't know the whole story. Miller told me when he was drunk and made me swear not to tell Bellamy I knew."

"Well what do you know?" Raven asked.

"Apparently that girl, Roma, got way to clingy during their freshman year. So Bellamy told her he had a girlfriend back home. Well one night, when he was drunk, she got into his room and he was trying to get rid of her when she saw the picture on his desk. The one from graduation?"

Clarke nodded. She attended the graduation to congratulate Bellamy, Miller and Wells and Octavia and Bellamy's mom was taking tons of pictures. She took one of Bellamy standing in the middle of the two girls with his arms around their shoulders. Octavia gave it to him in a frame when he left for college along with one of them and their mom. It surprised her that he not only kept it, but he displayed it in his room. She never saw it out anywhere. Not when she visited during his previous two years at NYU.

"So what's the story now?" Clarke asked taking a deep breath.

"Story?" Monty asked.

"Are we still together? Broken up? Friends or enemies?" Raven raised her eyebrows and Clarke shrugged, "I need to know in case she recognizes me or something."

"I think she just did," Monty squeaked and all three looked up to see Roma glowering in the direction of Clarke.

"Okay. Laugh at something I just said," Raven quickly muttered and all three started laughing - loudly. Clarke spotted Bellamy moving towards the kitchen. He hadn't seen Roma, but he glanced over his shoulder at the three of them laughing in the corner.

"BELL!" Clarke yelled and motioned for him to come over. He shook his head and made his way towards them.

"Don't…" Monty whispered shocked.

"She has to," Raven whispered back. "If she's going to get in a fight with this girl, then she needs to know the story."

Bellamy approached them, "Having fun, princess?"

"So," Clarke grinned largely at him. "I hear we dated."

If she hadn't known him her whole life she might have missed it, but she saw it. It was subtle. His jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed slowly, "Where did you hear that?" His eyes slide slowly to Monty.

"A birdie told me," Clarke fixed a glare at him. "And why did you never tell me?"

"It wasn't something you needed to know."

"Well I was bound to figure something out when I started to get daggers thrown at me," she nodded in Roma's direction and Bellamy glanced over his shoulder. He quickly turned back around and sighed.

"Don't worry about her. I'll take care of it," he rubbed the back of his neck.

"No. I don't mind playing along, but you need to tell me the story," Clarke could literally feel Raven and Monty gapping at her.

Bellamy's eyebrows were halfway up his forehead looking at her, "Really?"

"Well, I mean, we obviously broke up at some point. When do all of them think it happened? And how?"

"Over Christmas break freshman year," Bellamy's cheeks looked slightly flushed.

"Who did the breaking?"

"It was mutual. I wanted to enjoy school and you were getting ready for your senior year and wanted to enjoy it before you left for school."

"And how have you kept her off you since then?" Clarke snorted as she saw Roma glaring in their direction. "I made it clear I had just gotten out of a relationship and didn’t want anything like that for awhile and last semester she did a study abroad so I haven't seen her since she left."

"And we remained friends for O?" Clarke asked and Bellamy nodded.

"Okay. You can go," Clarke smiled and waved her hand.

"Ever the princess, aren't you?" Bellamy grumbled as he made his way towards Miller. Clarke watched as he grabbed Miller's shirt and dragged him into the kitchen. She could still feel Monty watching her and figured Raven didn't understand what was going on so she turned to Raven who was watching the girl still.

"I can take her," Raven said as she took a sip. "I mean, if you need to defend your man and all."

Monty started laughing and fell out of his chair. Clarke just stared at her.

"You okay Monty?" Jasper called from the other side of the room and turned to the girl he was still talking to, "That's my roommate. He's the one who makes that lovely drink you're drinking."

Monty just kept laughing and soon Clarke and Raven joined in.

In between gasps of air Monty said, "I like you, Raven. You're going to fit in with us just fine."

And she did. Clarke was surprised how well she fit in. She could hold her own with Monty's moonshine and joke with Miller and didn't get frustrated when Jasper started rambling and she even made Bellamy laugh, which was saying a lot. As the night wore on, Roma continued to shoot glares in Clarke's direction, but now that Clarke knew why every time she saw her, she started laughing again. Which got Raven and Monty going too. They also watched as Bellamy made sure to avoid Roma at all costs too. It was like a game of cat and mouse. Every time he got comfortable talking to a group, he would have to slip away as she approached. However, Monty and Jasper's apartment was not that big and she ended up catching up to him.

Clarke saw him cornered with his arms crossed leaning against the wall, while Roma stood blocking his way and standing very close. Clarke looked at Raven and said, "Hold my drink. I've got to rescue the damsel."

She heard Monty and Raven laughing as she crossed the room and began to sway a little to add effect to her performance. When she reached their corner, Bellamy looked at her in relief, but stiffened as soon as she threw her arms around his neck. She was able to bump into Roma on her way over - Roma was blocking Bellamy and there was no way around her (that's what she told herself).

She met his eyes and winked. "I'm drunk," she slurred.

"Of course you are, princess. How's your new friend doing over there?"

Clarke felt his hands on her waist trying to steady her, "She's doing good. Hasn't thrown up yet. But the night is still young!" She flung her one arm out and twisted around so she would fall and Bellamy had to catch her. She pretended to just notice Roma and smiled before she turned back to Bellamy.

"I think its time I took you two home," Bellamy gave her a nod.

"What? No, Bell. We're fine," Clarke pulled away from him and pretended to trip over her feet. She felt Bellamy wrap his arms around her stomach and straighten her up. "Oh look! The floor, Bell!" Clarke started to giggle. 

"Come on, princess. It's late. You need your beauty sleep." He nodded at Roma as he made his way back to the other side of the room with an arm around Clarke.

When they got to Monty and Raven, the two started clapping and Clarke pretended to take a bow.

"Bravo!" Monty cheered.

"Alright, keep it down," Bellamy placed Clarke back in her seat and raised his voice, "Stay here. I'll get Miller."

"Aye, aye, Captain!" Clarke saluted him as he shook his head and went in search of Miller. Raven just shook her head,

"Well, Griffin. You have thoroughly entertained me this evening. I am impressed. But I am expecting more, like the next four years."

Clarke grinned at her and said, "Aw. You want to be my roomie for the next four years!"

Raven made a show of being unimpressed and Clarke wrapped an arm around her and Raven smiled back just as Bellamy and Miller showed up.

"Ready to go, princess?" Bellamy pulled her to her feet.

Clarke looked at Miller who was glaring at Monty, "Sorry for crashing your party so soon."

"It's cool. It’s the same group every weekend. Not like I won't see them again next weekend."

Clarke hugged Monty and thanked him for a good night and Raven hugged him and asked, "Brunch tomorrow? Just us girls?"

Monty laughed and nodded.

They waved goodbye and headed out. Clarke felt Bellamy's hand on her back and when she jumped at the contact he grinned at her, "You're suppose to be acting drunk, princess."

She smiled and threw her other arm around his shoulders so she could pretend to stumble. Behind her she heard Miller say to Raven, "She didn't have that much to drink." Raven just laughed in response.

_____________________________

When they got back to the girls' dorm, the boys walked them up to their floor, but since it was a girls only floor, they weren't allowed any further after hours. So Raven and Clarke said goodbye to them at the elevator and Clarke turned to follow Raven down the hall when she felt a hand on her elbow.

"Hey Clarke?" Bellamy said quietly. She turned around and looked at his hand on her arm and then up at him.

"Yeah?" She responded in a whisper.

"Thanks. For - you know? Tonight."

She smiled at him and said, "Anytime."

Clarke turned and walked down the hallway and when she got to her door she turned and could just see the two boys in the elevator as the door closed. Miller was sleeping standing up and Bellamy was watching her so she smiled one last time and went to bed.

* * *

Bellamy laughed to himself as Raven finished her story.

"And that's the first time Clarke pretended to be Bellamy's girlfriend to save his ass," Raven grinned at him.

"But not the last," Octavia laughed and everyone joined it.

He and Clarke had pretended to date numerous times during their friendship. Hiding out from exes or those who didn't get the hint and even one time Clarke helped him out with his dissertation advisor's Christmas party.

"She called you 'Bell' that night?" Octavia asked with a confused look on her face. "Yeah, why?"

"No reason. It's just. I never heard her call you that until you guys got together."

Bellamy thought back on all the years. 'Bell' had always been Octavia's nickname for him, just like 'O' had been his for her. Until Clarke. She was the only one who used their nicknames, but only when she was talking to one of them. It was like a private little thing between them and it made him smile because he knew now that no matter what happened tonight - Clarke was already a part of his family and would always be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave comments! I have a general idea of where the story is going, but I could always use suggestions on little stories in between or anything you want to read!
> 
> Thanks again!


	3. A Different Kind of Knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Halloween! A night to dress up and be someone else, but our demons are never far away.
> 
> Monty throws a Halloween party at Bellamy and Miller's apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is "A Different Kind of Knight" by Christian Kane
> 
> I just want to say thank you all so much for all the comments, kudos, bookmarks, everything. I love hearing your feedback and suggestions. Keep 'em coming!

"Alright, you've guys have had your fun," Bellamy stands up to usher them out.

 

"Who said we were done?" Monty asks. "I've got a story still and its not long after Raven's took place. Remember your first Halloween in New York?" He asks Raven.

 

"Oh, yeah," Raven smirks. "The princess and her shining knight."

 

"This is going to be good," Octavia says and wags her eyebrows at her brother.

 

"Oh, god," Bellamy sits back down realizing they are not going to leave him alone today. 

* * *

 

"What, exactly, are you suppose to be?" Monty narrowed his eyes at Bellamy.

 

"I wasn't aware I had to dress up. It is a party at my apartment," Bellamy fills his cup with some beer.

 

"Yeah, a HALLOWEEN party," Monty crosses his arms again. "You have to dress UP for Halloween."

 

"Oh, really? I wasn't aware of that," Bellamy grinned to himself.

 

"Fine. You can wear that," Monty points to his black jeans and black shirt. "But I'm telling everyone you're the damn night."

 

Bellamy chuckled as Monty stormed away. He turned back to look at the people crowding his apartment. He only recognized maybe 10 people. The rest were random people Monty, Jasper, and Miller had invited. He saw Roma standing in the corner wearing a bikini and a pair of angel wings. He was pretty sure she was trying to be a Victoria's Secret Angel. She made eye contact with him and Bellamy groaned for allowing himself to be caught staring. But she smiled and then moved closer to the Frat guy she was talking to. He rolled his eyes, ever since Clarke had pretended to act drunk Roma had backed off slightly. She still tried to make him jealous by flirting with whatever guy was in the same room as the two of them, but for some reason Clarke's little drunken act worked. He still didn't understand why.

 

Bellamy had seen Clarke and Raven a few more times since they started at Columbia, but with school being so busy for them and farther away from the guys, it was rare. Monty still saw them Sunday mornings for brunch. Jasper and Miller had each gone a few times, but they were mostly drunk still Sunday mornings so they rarely went. Bellamy never even thought to go. He worked most Saturday nights tending bar and Sundays were his one day to sleep in and Monty and the girls went for brunch, but really it was breakfast, at eight in the morning. Who gets up that early on a Sunday? Especially college students.

 

Bellamy wandered around and said hello to a few people. He was talking to Murphy one of the guys who worked at the bar with him when he saw them walk in. Well he really only saw her.

 

Clarke and Raven had both dressed up. Raven had put white makeup on and looked like some sort of zombie except she was wearing a tattered dress and a crown. Clarke was wearing even less. Her dress was a skirt that fell to the floor with two thigh high slits on either side of her legs. The top was strapless and low cut and didn't reach the top of her skirt. One of those crop top things O was always wearing that summer and Bellamy was always telling her to go change.  She wore a bracelet around her upper arm and her hair hung loose in waves with a sparkly diamond headband that looked almost like a tiara in her hair. They stopped in the doorway and looked around. Clarke seemed to constantly trying to adjust her top.

 

Bellamy made his way over to them smirking, "Well, princess, that is quite the interesting outfit you have on."

 

Clarke looked at him and rolled her eyes, "I didn’t have a choice. Raven made our costumes and forced me into this."

 

Raven smirked and said, "Shut it, Griffin, you look hot and you know it."

 

Clarke rolled her eyes in response.

 

"So, what are you two suppose to be?" Bellamy asked smirking still.

 

"I am a zombie princess," Raven pointed to the crown on her head and then pointed to Clarke, "She's a warrior princess."

 

"Princesses? Really? Come on, Clarke. You make this too easy for me," Bellamy had to push his lips together to stop from laughing.

 

"This is your fault, Blake. You told her that stupid story about Octavia and me and all she's talked about since is how we were going to be princesses on our first Halloween as friends."

 

Bellamy couldn't hold the laughter anymore. He couldn't take a deep breath as Clarke narrowed her eyes at him and crossed her arms. Bellamy quickly took a sip of his beer and looked away as he started chocking. He needed to not look at Clarke because when she crossed her arms in that little top - well it was exactly why Bellamy was always yell at his sister to change out of them. Because she always crossed her arms when she was flirting with guys while wearing them. He swore she did it on purpose, but Clarke didn't. She only did it when she was annoyed and clearly didn’t realize that she shouldn't do that - especially around a guy.

 

"Earth to Bellamy!" Clarke waved her hands up and down in front of his face.

 

"What?" He asked taking a sip of his beer and pretending he hadn't just been looking at Clarke Griffin's chest.

 

"I asked what you're suppose to be," Clarke gestured up and down at him.

 

"I wasn't aware we were suppose to be dressing up. So Monty is telling everyone I'm suppose to be the night."

 

Raven snorted and Bellamy turned to look back at her, "You're suppose to be a knight. Well it looks like the princess has found her knight in shining armor." Raven gave him a pointed look and then glanced at Clarke who was pretending not to listen. Raven made a motion to her own chest and then gave him a thumbs up. He guessed he hadn't looked away fast enough.

 

He rolled his eyes at Raven and pointed to the kitchen, "Beer in the keg. Monty's moonshine in the sill." And turned to walk away from them as Monty was rushing over.

 

He could hear Monty gushing over the girls' costumes and congratulating Raven on how great they came out. Raven thanked him and said "Great job making Bellamy a knight."

 

"What?" Monty said and Bellamy could feel him looking back at him and then back at the girls, "OH! I didn't even think of that." He and Raven started laughing and Clarke muttered about getting a beer and stalked off.

 

Bellamy moved around talking to friends, but it was easy to keep tabs on Clarke throughout the night. Not that he was trying to. It was a small apartment and not many places to hide out in.

 

He was sitting on the couch talking to some girl who was a friend of Miller's who he had already forgotten her name. He felt someone sit down next to him and spilled a few drops of his beer onto his hand. He turned to glare at the person when a hand reached over and grab his beer and he watched Clarke chug the other half of his beer.

 

"Can I help you, princess?"

 

"Yeah. You can get me another beer," Clarke handed back his empty cup.

 

"And why would I do that when you have two perfectly good legs and a kitchen stocked with beer?"

 

"Because your girlfriend is in there with that guy who is wearing a toga and saying he's Hercules and asking all the girls to squeeze his non-existent muscles and every time I try to go in there she starts laughing hysterically like whatever he said is the funniest thing and I just want to claw my eyes out. So can you help me out here or not? Because I need a drink," Clarke sighed dramatically and gave him that look that O use to give him when she wanted something and she knew Bellamy would cave - eventually.

 

Bellamy sighed and stood up and headed towards the kitchen. He refilled his cup and got another for Clarke. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Roma talking to a different guy than she was at the beginning of the night. She was definitely flirting and getting way to touchy feely with the new guy.

 

_Walk away, Blake. That's the only way you're going to keep her safe. You protecting her will look like jealously and will just get her into more of a mess._

 

He stalked out of the kitchen and ran into Monroe, one of Roma's friends and pointed her towards Roma, "Keep an eye on her, will you?"

 

Monroe smiled and pointed towards the couch where Clarke had been sitting, "Keep an eye on your's too."

 

He raised an eyebrow at Monroe, "Where did she go?"

 

Monroe shrugged and made her way into the kitchen to collect Roma. Bellamy walked back into the living room and scanned the remaining guests. No Clarke. He turned down the hallway heading towards the bathroom and knocked on the door, "Clarke?"

 

He heard a girl giggling. "Uh, no," a male voice said back. "Sorry," Bellamy continued down towards his and Miller's rooms. He didn't want to knock on Miller's door - not after the last party. He looked at his door which he distinctly remembered closing tight which was now open a crack.

 

_Goddamn it. If someone is having sex in my bed again._ He pushed the door open and was surprised to see it empty and the window leading to the fire escape was open. He walked over and stuck his head out to find Clarke sitting on the second step with her arms wrapped around her knees and her head tucked into her legs.

 

_Crap._  He knew what that meant. He placed the two beers on the windowsill and grabbed his jacket off the back of a chair and slipped out the window. Bellamy wrapped the coat around her shoulders and crouched down in front of her.

 

"Princess?" He said quietly. "Tell me what happened."

 

She didn't respond and he didn't expect her to. She'd been having these episodes ever since her dad died. They were normally triggered by excessive stress and being in large crowds. O was normally the only one who could talk her out of them, but he had been able to bring her back from a few.

 

"Clarke?" He placed his hands on either side of her elbows. "Talk to me, please."

 

She still didn't move. _Damn it._ He tried a few more times. Brushing her hair out of her face, even though he couldn't see her face. Rubbing her arms to keep them warm in the awkward position. And the whole time just talking to her softly about anything. _Just get her to focus on your voice._ He kept repeating to himself.

 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she shifted and he heard her sniff quietly. When she looked up, she had tear streaks down her face and her eyes were red, but she looked unharmed.

 

"Hey," he said quietly. "Welcome back."

 

"Sorry," she rubbed her nose with the back of her hand. "I came out here so no one would see me. I'm sorry you had to -"

 

"Shh. Don't worry about it, princess. We all have our demons," he paused and readjusted to sit on the stair her feet were on because his muscles were screaming now that Clarke was back with him. He placed his back against the wall near his window. "Do you want to talk about it?"

 

"Not really," she slipped her arms into his jacket and he watched her as she watched the skyline. "It's the same old stuff, really. I wish it was more interesting drama," she sighed after a few minutes.

 

"Your mom?"

 

"When is it not?"

 

"What is it this time? You chose Columbia instead of Harvard or Yale or some other obnoxious Ivy League that is better in her eyes."

 

"I haven't declared a major yet."

 

"Really? Clarke Griffin is undecided. Never thought I'd see the day. I thought you were taking all those pre-med courses and that's why we haven't seen you around."

 

"Well, I am, but I'm also taking some other courses - just to see what's out there."

 

"What else are you taking?"

 

"Um.. Art, this poli sci course, even a history course," she smiled at him. "And the basic math and science requirements for a pre-med."

 

"Wow, princess. That's a lot."

 

"Yeah."

 

"Do you like any of them?"

 

She shot him a look, "I like them all. That's the problem."

 

"Well, that's what college is for. You try new things and find what you like."

 

"Easy for you to say. Your mom isn't my mom."

 

Bellamy just laughed. She was right. Aurora Blake was just happy both of her kids were at great schools and not stuck in their small hometown like she had been - kid on the way and stuck in a loveless marriage. She had worked three jobs so her kids could have everything a two parent home had. That left Bellamy to raise Octavia. And think they both would have preferred to have their mom the materialistic things, but she was determined.

 

Clarke cleared her throat and Bellamy reached around to the windowsill and grabbed the beers handing her a cup.

 

She took a sip and grimaced, "It's beer."

 

Bellamy mentally rolled his eyes, "What did you expect, princess? You sent me to get beer and then you disappeared."

 

"I didn't expect you to actually get it. I thought you just ditched me," she said softly.

 

"Why would you think that?"

 

"Because you sighed and walked away. So I thought you ditched me."  
 

"Princess, I'd never ditch you."

 

"You have. Remember when O and I were freshmen and you drove us to the school dance and then left us there so you and Miller could sneak into that stupid bar. We had no phones, no money. We had to walk all the way across town to get home," she took another sip of her beer.

 

"You didn't walk all the way home, if I remember correctly," he took another sip and didn't want to see the slow smile cross her face.

 

"Wells," she said quietly taking another sip.

 

"Yup. And so began the great love affair of the school's prince and princess," he muttered, but he knew she heard him when she turned to glare at him.

 

"I don't understand what happened with you two. You use to be best friends."

 

Bellamy scoffed, "We were never best friends."

 

"Well you two were always hanging out at block parties and stuff."

 

"Because it was either him or hanging out with my little sister and her friend."

 

She rolled her eyes at him and he just shrugged, "I thought when you both made the football team, things would get better."

 

"No," Bellamy glanced down at the cup in his hands. _It was now or never - come clean or bury it forever._ "We just didn't get along anymore. Had different kinds of friends. Ran in different circles. You know the story." _Bury it then._

 

"No. I guess I don't. High school didn’t separate Octavia and me," she paused glancing at him slowly and then away. "We didn't let it."

 

"Well, we can't all be great like you, princess."

 

She smiled and shook her head, "I guess you can't."

 

He just smiled back at her and they each took a sip of their beer and stared into the night.

 

After a few minutes, Clarke broke the silence, "This is nice. Why didn't we ever do this before?"

 

He snorted, "Because you and I always end up finding something to bicker about. It always ends in a screaming match. Just give it a few minutes and I'll say something arrogant or you'll say something condescending and it will end."

 

"Stop being such a pessimist, Bellamy! We could be friends if we tried," she pulled her head up high. "I'd like to try."

 

Clarke put her hand out for him to shake. Bellamy just stared at it for a few minutes before finally taking her small one in his large one.

 

"CLARKE! Where the hell are you? I gotta go home!" Raven's voice drifted out onto the fire escape from the open window.

 

Clarke smiled and slipped his jacket off and handed it back to him, "Thanks. For everything."

 

She started to climb through the window, but stopped. Before he could turn to look at her, she placed a kiss on his cheek and disappeared.

 

It was another hour before Miller found him sitting on the fire escape. 

 

"Hiding for Roma out here? She left like two hours ago with Monroe," Miller took the seat Clarke had been sitting in.

 

"No. Just need some air," he takes a sip of his warm beer which he had neglected in the last hour.

 

"Really?" Miller picks up Clarke's beer and looks at the lip of it. "Seems like you weren't the only one looking for air." Miller spins the cup around to take a sip from the other side and Bellamy can clearly see Clarke's lipstick still on the cup.

 

"Clarke had another episode," he says quietly taking another sip.

 

Miller chokes on his, "No shit. Why didn't you come and get us? Is she alright?"

 

"Yeah," Bellamy takes another sip. "It's just the usual shit with her mom. No need to ruin everyone's night."

 

Miller doesn't say anything because he didn't have to. They were all there when Clarke's dad died. Bellamy remembered how it nearly destroyed them all. None of them had lost a parent before.

 

_It was their freshman year of college and Miller and Bellamy were looking forward to being done with finals and heading home for the Christmas break. They had been studying in the library - which was rare, but the two were actually both on academic scholarships and needed to get good grades to keep them._

_They finished their final exam and was looking forward to spending one last night in New York before taking the train back home. That's when Octavia called. Bellamy was surprised because she was in California visiting Stanford with their mom and he didn't expect to hear from her until she got home._

_"Hey O! How's that sunny California weather?"_

_"Bell? I need you to go home," her voice was panicked and it even trembled a bit._

_"O? What's wrong?"_

_"It's Clarke. There was an accident. Her and her dad."_

_Bellamy sat up straighter on his bed and Miller looked at him from his bed, "Is she alright?"_

_"She's home. The hospital released her an hour ago, but it's her dad," Octavia's voice broke and Bellamy knew how it was killing her to be on the opposite side of the country from her best friend - her sister._

_"Is he -?"_

_"Yeah, Bell. He's dead. Clarke was in the car with him. The weather. They skidded on some ice and over a bridge."_

_"Holy shit," Bellamy was already up and grabbing things and throwing them in his bag. He had already packed most of his stuff for Christmas break. He pulled up his laptop and looked up the train schedules. Miller was moving around the room behind him._

_"Alright, there's a train leaving in an hour. I'll be on it, O. I'll call you when I get there? Monty and Jasper -"_

_"They're at her house, but she's locked herself in her room and won't let anyone in."_

_"Okay, okay," he says to himself. "I'll call you later."_

_"Bell? I love you."_

_"I love you too, O."_

_The train ride south took forever. It normally only took two hours, but weather had caused problems on the tracks. He kept fidgeting in his seat and checking his watch. Miller just sat there. Lost in his own thoughts. Bellamy was surprised his best friend had followed him home. He had been excited about the party. This junior he had been flirting with all semester would be there._

_When Bellamy looked at him in surprise as he followed him out the door, he simply shrugged and said, "It's Clarke."_

_When they arrived at the train station, Jasper was there to pick them up. O must have called him. They didn't say anything as they followed him into the car and drove the hour to Clarke's house._

_As soon as they got there, Bellamy and Miller jumped out of the car and made their way inside. Monty met them at the door._

_Bellamy looked around the empty house. Where was everyone? Normally when people died the family gathered at the person's house. That's how things worked._

_Monty seemed to grasp what Bellamy wasn't saying, "Her mom is at the hospital. I don't know why. Wells' dad stopped by earlier, but Clarke didn't want to see anyone so I just told him I would let the family know. I think he went to the hospital to see Clarke's mom."_

_Bellamy nodded and began taking the stairs two at a time. He could feel the other boys behind him. He stopped at her door and knocked on it. There was no answer. He knocked louder, "Clarke."_

_Still no answer. "Clarke come on. We're worried about you."_

_He knocked a few more times. Calling her name occasionally. After a few minutes, he got irritated, "Goddamn it, Clarke. Open the damn door or I'm going to knock it down."_

_Bellamy started to count in his head and backed up to the other side of the hallway ready to kick the damn door down if he had to._

_"Wait," Miller began fiddling with the lock and a bobby pin he found outside her door. The door swung open and Bellamy charged in. He couldn't see her at first. The room was dark and her blonde head barely passed her bed. He walked around to the other side of the bed near the window and he saw her. She had her arms wrapped around her knees and her face pressed into them._

_"Clarke?" He said quietly as he stood in front of her. She lifted her head and he could see the remnants of tear streaks down her face. Her eyes were red and bloodshot like she had been crying for hours. She probably had been._

_She didn't say anything. Just looked at him like a lost little puppy. He sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her. She buried her head into his chest and the tears started again. It wasn't long before his own began to fall down his face. Jake Griffin had been a good man. He taught Bellamy how to drive. Taught him so many things a dad should teach a son. He had been the first one to convince Bellamy to apply to a real college and make dreams and plans for the future. And now he was gone. Gone from that future._

_Octavia arrived home the next morning. Her and their mom had taken a red eye flight and landed before dawn. Now she slowly pushed open the door to Clarke's room. Bellamy was wide awake laying on the bed. Clarke was curled up against him. Her head on his chest, his arm wrapped around her. Jasper was stretched out on the bench by the window. Monty curled up in an arm chair and Miller was sleeping on the floor with a blanket as a pillow. Octavia looked around the room at all the boys._

_She made her way across the room and Bellamy looked at her. She brought a finger up to her lips to signal for Bellamy to be quiet and slipped onto the bed next to Clarke. She wrapped an arm around Clarke's waist and just stayed there with her._

_It was a few hours later when Aurora walked in. She looked around at all the kids sleeping and quietly backed out. Bellamy saw her and slipped out from next to Clarke adding an extra pillow to replace where he had been._

_Aurora was standing in the hallway outside Abby and Jake's room, "Hey mom."_

_She looked up and smiled, "Abby asked me to pick up a few things for her."_

_Bellamy nodded and his mom walked up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He dropped his head to her shoulder, "You're a wonderful friend, my sweet boy."_

_Bellamy didn’t say anything. Just stood there for a few minutes with his mom._

_Clarke barely functioned during the days and every night they all slept in her room in various positions. O and Clarke always got the bed. And the boys took turns sleeping with the two girls each night. The night before the funeral Bellamy was sleeping on the bench by the window. Monty was with the two girls. Clarke in the middle of them. He couldn't sleep so he sat up to look out the window. He heard someone shift on the bed and looked over and saw Clarke getting up. She stepped over Jasper as she made her way to the bench. She sat facing him on the other side._

_"Thank you," she whispered so as not to wake the others and reached over to take his hand with one of hers._

_"For what, princess?"_

_"For coming here - after," she played with the necklace she was wearing. A gift from her dad._

_"There wasn't anywhere else I would be." She nodded and he told her to get some sleep so she made her way back to her bed._

_The funeral was two days before Christmas Eve. Abby didn't want to ruin everyone's Christmas by dragging a funeral out over the holidays. The boys all woke and left to get ready. Octavia stayed to help Clarke. As they left, Bellamy said he would meet them all at the church and the other three nodded._

_He made his way the few blocks to his own house and dressed in the black suit his mom had recently gotten for him. Rather than meet with everyone at the church, he said goodbye to his mom and headed back to Clarke's._

_When Abby saw him walk into the house and Octavia coming down the stairs, "Thank you for being here, but I think it's just going to be family going together."_

_Bellamy made a point to glance at Thelonious and Wells Jaha standing in the living room who started to look every where but at him and Octavia. Wells had just arrived the previous day from Michigan where he was playing football._

_"They are my family," Clarke said firmly from the stairs where she was walking down. She turned to Bellamy standing in the door way, "Will you drive me and Octavia?" He nodded and the three left without looking back at Abby. It was only the beginning of the end of their mother-daughter relationship. Bellamy never realized how much Jake had played the neutral party between his wife and daughter until he was gone._

_During the actual service, Clarke sat in the first pew and motioned for Octavia and him to sit on either side of her. The other three boys sat behind them with Aurora. On the other side of the church was Abby and the Jahas. Throughout the rest of the day, Bellamy, Octavia, and their friends took turns sitting next to Clarke. Always being by her side._

_Later that day, Bellamy went in search of Clarke. Jasper was suppose to be watching her, but had started drinking from the flask him and Monty had brought and lost track of her. He found her in the backyard without a coat on and standing next to Wells. He had a hand on her back and was saying something quietly to her. When she nodded, he turned and walked towards Bellamy and placed a hand on his shoulder, "I'm sorry, man." And walked away. Bellamy watched Clarke for a few minutes before he walked over and convinced her to come inside before she got sick. She gave him a small smile before heading inside. It was the first one he had seen since her dad died._

"What are we going to do this year?" Miller broke Bellamy from his memory. The last two years on the anniversary of her dad's death, the group always kidnapped Clarke and took her somewhere. Somewhere she had been with her dad before. They would just drink and tell stories about the Great Jake Griffin. It was a day for Clarke to remember all the good things and all the happy times. Not like she was likely to forget, but it helped them all. Especially since her mom always threw herself into work at the hospital on the day and left Clarke to deal on her own.

 

"I don't know. Maybe the lake? Or somewhere with wi-fi. You know O is going to want to be there. Even if its not physically."

 

"I'm sure Monty, or even Raven, could hook something up for us," Miller stood and stretched. "We've got time to figure it out. Night, man." 

 

"Night," Bellamy said to his friend as he left him sitting on the fire escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> If you can't tell, Bellamy and Miller are juniors in college, Jasper and Monty are sophomores, and the girls are all freshmen. Also, Wells is the same age as Bellamy and Miller. And we'll be seeing a little more of Wells.


	4. The Boys Are Back In Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Raven set off on a girls only trip with a special guest only to have their girls trip crashed - by a bunch of boys.
> 
> Chapter title is from "The Boys Are Back In Town" by Thin Lizzy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things before you read.
> 
> One - If you're a fan of the awful reality show Jersey Shore, I apologize in advance. 
> 
> Two - I'm sorry for the late post. I know I said weekly updates, but I really needed to finish "And a feeling hits you..." before I went crazy.
> 
> Third - I don't know how I feel about this chapter. I just needed it to explain some background and it was so much better in my head. I've rewritten it a few times and still don't like it, but it's not an important chapter so it's okay if it's not good. Also, I haven't edited it (no beta and I'm too lazy to edit it myself right now) so sorry for any and all mistakes.
> 
> Fourth (and last one I swear) - I finally got around to finishing the outline in my head and it's already up to 30 chapters (yes 30!). I don't know how that happened. I've tried editing down and was able to remove 2 filler chapters that were just to get a particular story in a certain POV (I'm alternating between Bellamy and Clarke). I don't even know if I can post 30 chapters in one story or if I'm going to even get there, but I'm going to try and edit it or if you really want 30 chapters let me know. Lol.
> 
> Enjoy!

"Halloween is always fun," Jasper mutters to himself when Monty finishes his story. "We gotta do something epic next Halloween."

"Yeah, okay Jasper. Whatever you say," Monty laughs and Jasper glares at him.

"Your freshman year sounds so much more exciting than Octavia's. Thankfully," Lincoln smiles down at the younger Blake who narrows her eyes at her husband.

"Well it was about to get better. Remember spring break, Raven?" Octavia smiles at the other woman.

"Oh, yeah," Raven starts smiling. "I miss spring breaks. We should take one this year. Girls only. Like that time."

"Awesome! I'll clear Clarke's schedule."

"Excuse me," Bellamy looks at Octavia. "Maybe you should let Clarke clear her own schedule and I think we'll be busy that week."

"You don't even know what week, Bell. Relax, I'm not going to steal your girl from you."

"So, Octavia. About this girls only spring break?" Jasper prompts. 

"Get your head out of the gutter, Jasper!" Raven throws a pillow at him.

* * *

 

Clarke flopped on her bed. She had just finished her last midterm before spring break. The boys had decided they needed a break from girls after Miller's latest foray into relationships and Bellamy slept with some girl whose boyfriend was ready to give him a piece of his mind. They were heading up to Vermont later today for a fishing trip to some remote cabin that belonged to Miller's dad. Even Monty was going. Mostly because he was pissed that the guys planned the weekend and didn't include him. He reminded them that just because he liked boys didn’t make him less of a guy and he could hang.  When they agreed to let him come, he told Clarke to keep her phone on her because he would probably be bored out of his mind and need a distraction.

Raven and Clarke were trying to figure out something to do for the whole week. They couldn't stay in the dorms and Raven didn't want to go home. Neither did Clarke. They couldn't afford a hotel in the city either. They were thinking of just getting in the car and driving south until they found somewhere warm and just stay in some cheap motel.

Clarke jumped when she heard a knock at the door. Monty has already changed his mind. She slid off the bed and went to open the door.

"Monty, you won't be less of a guy if you don't go - O!" Clarke ran to hug her best friend.

"Surprise, bitches!" Octavia jumped up and down and threw her arms around Clarke.

"What - what are you doing here?"

"Not happy to see me? Already found a replacement BFF?" Octavia walked past her and sat down on Raven's bed and looked at some of the pictures hanging above the other girl's bed.

"No. No, I am happy to see you! Just surprised. Bellamy didn't mention you were coming home," Clarke sat on her own bed and watched her friend.

"He didn't know I was coming," Octavia isn't meeting her eyes on purpose.

"O? What's wrong?"

"I screwed up and I just couldn't stay at Stanford anymore."

"What happened? Is it your grades? We can fix it, O. Don't worry."

"I wish it was my grades. It's worse, Clarke," Octavia stood up and curled up against her best friend's side. The two laid back on the bed like they did when they were kids.

"Tell me. I can help you," Clarke whispers as she strokes Octavia's hair.

"I slept with my professor," Octavia mumbles into Clarke's shirt.

"WHAT?"

"Well. Not my professor. My TA. It's kind of the same thing."

"O. What's wrong? There's got to be something more."

"He told me it was a mistake and it can never happen again," Octavia sniffed once.

"You like him, don't you?"

"Yes."

"Does he like you?"

"He said it was a mistake, Clarke. I'll take that as a 'no'."

"He said it was a mistake because he's your TA. But if he slept with you it must have meant something for him to break the rules like that."

"I don’t think so, Clarke. I mean. He's gorgeous. He could have any girl. Why would he want me?"

"Because you're gorgeous. And smart. And so full of life. You're Octavia Blake for crying out loud! You're the girl who pulled off the most epic senior prank in the history of the school and even out did your own brother. Who was very impressed, might I add."

"I don't think Lincoln cares much about senior pranks or impressed overprotective big brothers."

"Well. You'll find someone else then. Someone who deserves your tears, O. How long are you in town for?"

"I don't know. A week? Is it okay if I stay with you? And don't tell, Bell. He'll want to know why I flew out here and then want to spend every waking moment with me. And I love him, I do. I just need some girl time."

"Good. Raven and I were going to leave for spring break tonight. You're coming with us."

"Raven won't mind," Octavia doesn't look happy about sharing her best friend with someone. Clarke knows how possessive she gets, but knows the two will get along perfectly.

"Absolutely. She's been looking forward to meeting you for weeks now."

Octavia smiles at that just as Raven comes barging into their room.

"Hey, Clarke. I just got off the phone with Boyfriend. He says he found a place for us to stay this week. And he tried to convince me to take Monty again. I told him he screwed up by excluding him. If they just invited him, Monty would have said no and came with us anyway."

Octavia sat up and looked at the other brunette before turning narrowed eyes toward Clarke, "Boyfriend?"

"Who are you?" Raven asks just noticing Octavia.

"Octavia. Raven?" She points and Raven nods. "Tell me who this boyfriend is. I need names, pictures, detailed descriptions. Everything."

"Oh shit," Raven looks wide eyed to Clarke who glares at her.

"You and your stupid nickname. Look at what you did. She's referring to Bellamy," Clarke groans waiting for Octavia's inquisition.

"You and Bellamy are finally dating," she says so quietly - almost reverently.

"What? No. We are not dating. It's just Raven being Raven."

"What do you mean 'finally'?" Raven asks.

"Haven't you felt it? You can practically see it. It's so thick with these two. The sexual tension?"

Clarke gasps, "What?"

"Oh, thank god. I thought it was just me who saw it," Raven laughs and ignores Clarke complete.

"There is no sexual tension between me and Bellamy! Please, stop saying that."

Raven and Octavia start laughing and Octavia turns to Raven, "One time they started fighting about the weather. The weather! Clarke kept telling Bell he needed an umbrella because it was suppose to rain and he had to walk home from school that day. And Bellamy kept telling her 'the sun is shining and there isn't a cloud in the sky. Where is this mythical rain suppose to come from, princess?' He walked two miles home in the rain." She perfected Bellamy's voice and Raven started laughing harder.

"This one time, they were suppose to meet us all at this bar near here. It was like two blocks away and they got lost. We thought they ditched us so we started walking home and we literally round the corner and there they are fighting in the middle of the sidewalk. She wants to go right and he wants to go left and every time she tried to walk away from him. He would grab her arm and drag her back. Kept telling her: 'you have the worst sense of direction ever, princess.' All they had to do was go one block left and they would have found us."

The two start laughing again, tears streaming down their faces. Clarke sits in the corner of her bed with her arms crossed. Her phone buzzes and lights up on the other side of the room and Raven grabs it and starts laughing harder.  She turns to hand the phone to Octavia as Clarke grabs for it.

"It's from Bellamy!"  Octavia reads and they start laughing again. 

"Give me the damn phone, Octavia. Or I'll tell him you're here," Clarke threatens and holds her hand out for her phone.

Octavia glares at her and passes the phone to her, "Cruel."

Clarke looks down at the message while her two friends watch her closely. 

_You didn't answer your phone, princess. So I called Raven who I assume told you by now, but I got in touch with that friend. You can use their house for the week back home in Ark Island City. Don't worry about payment. It's a favor. Now you owe me and I will collect soon. - B._

The second text included an address she recognized and groaned.

"Do we not have a place for break?" Raven asks nervously.

"No. We have one, but it's going to be bad," Clarke passes the phone to Octavia so she can see the address.

"UGH! Why did he call HER? She's psychotic. And now he owes her. He promised me he was done with her," Octavia passes the phone back to Clarke and slumps against Clarke's pillows.

"Need some background info," Raven sits on her bed and pulls her legs up and crosses them under her.

"Think Roma, but certifiable. Like rumors that she has spent time in a mental facility," Clarke looks to Raven.

"And has the actions to back up those rumors," Octavia mumbles into Clarke's pillow.

"She's a shoobie," Octavia continues.

"Like I'm suppose to know what that means," Raven rolls her eyes.

"Its what we call non-locals. People who come to the shore just for the summer."

"Oh, like those losers on Jersey Shore. They're shoobies?"

Clarke and Octavia nod their heads with Octavia still buried into the pillows.

"So why is that a bad thing?"

"Because," Octavia picks her head up, "All shoobies are evil."

Clarke shakes her head, "It's because she comes from money and likes to slum it over the summer. Think The Notebook, but without all the good stuff. Just a girl who gets obsessive and has a highly toxic relationship with all men. She likes to make them jealous and then watch them fight over her. The problem is Bellamy doesn't fall into her game, but other guys do. So she uses him to make whatever guy she's with jealous and then Bellamy and Miller end up fighting with some GTL freak because they can't back down from a fight. Because they're idiots too."

Raven just stares at the two wide eyed, "So we're not going then?"

"Oh, no. We are going and we are going to trash her place and hang out at Grounders with Nyko and have an awesome spring break because we deserve it!" Octavia jumped up and looked at the two girls, who started laughing and cheered with her.

The first few days of break were going awesomely. Raven and Clarke had conned Miller into buying alcohol for them before he left and they also had Monty and Jasper's moonshine stocked up as a parting gift from Monty - who was surprisingly quiet the last few days. Clarke hoped her friend was having fun with the boys.

On the third night, she was laying in the back bedroom with Octavia in the middle and Raven on the other side. Both girls sound asleep even though it was only midnight. That's what happened when you started drinking Monty's moonshine before noon. Clarke, however, was wide awake and scanning through her text messages.

She stopped on the last one sent from Bellamy, giving them the address for the house. With her excitement she forgot to respond to him.

_Hey. Never got to say thanks for the accommodations._

She was surprised how quickly he responded.

_No problem, princess. I hope the radio silence means you're having fun?_

_As much fun as we can in HER house. Care to explain?_

_You needed a place to stay. I came through. Don't complain how._

_I'm not complaining. Just wondering what you owe her now._

_Nothing I can't pay, princess. You should be worried how you're going to pay me._

_Octavia is mad that you're even talking to her. I remember two summers ago too, Bellamy._

_Why would you tell Octavia?_

Shit, Clarke thought. How was she going to pull this off?

 _Princess. Why did you tell my sister?!_

_I didn't tell her. She's here. Came home for the girls only trip._

_She didn't want you to miss your boys trip so she didn't tell you._

Her phone began ringing as soon as she sent the last text. Sure enough, it was Bellamy.

"Hold on," she whispered as she made her way out of the room and down the hall and out onto the front porch. "Alright. Get it out of your system."

" _Why is my sister here, Clarke? And why wouldn't you tell me?_ "

"She asked me not to. And in case you forgot, she's my best friend so I owe her. Plus she was just homesick and wanted some girl time. She knew you were going to Vermont with the guys and didn't want you canceling to spend time with her."

" _And why would I do that?_ "

Clarke rolled her eyes and sighed, "Bellamy. Have you met you? You're a bit overprotective with your sister and you would worry about why she was home and spend the whole time quizzing her about it and she wouldn't get to enjoy being home."

" _Did you pay for her to come home?_ "

She could literally hear the sneer in his voice and had to bite her lip to stop the old anger whenever he brought the money issue up with her. She took a deep breath before answering, "No. I don't know where she got the money from. I was just as surprised as you when she showed up at my dorm room. And I wasn't going to ask her a million questions about it."

" _You could have at least told me, Clarke._ "

She can hear the hurt in his voice and knows he's thinking about their promise to be friends. If it were any other friend she would have told them right away, but it's her best friend's brother she's trying to be friends with. She's not going to tell him every secret Octavia tells her.

"I'm sorry, Bell. I really am, but Octavia is my friend too. And I owed it to her to keep this secret. I was going to call you guys and tell you to come back a day or two early and we would meet you in the City so you would get to see her too."

" _Ha. I doubt it, but I'll pretend to believe your lie, princess. We'll be there in a few hours._ "

"What?!" Clarke hadn't expected him to drop everything and drag the guys back

Bellamy chuckled on the other end, " _Relax, princess. The guys are miserable up here. Monty has been complaining since he got here. Jasper's allergic to everything apparently and keeps breaking out in hives. And there's no cell service out here so Miller is freaking out because he can't check Facebook and Instagram and see what that girl is doing on her spring break. We were planning on leaving tomorrow anyway. Now we have somewhere to go._ "

"Then how are you talking to me if you don't have cell service?" Clarke asked hoping to catch him in a lie so she can convince him to stay.

" _We came to a bar in town. Jasper drank all of his moonshine and Miller needed to check Facebook and Instagram. And Monty is just happy to be back in civilization as he keeps saying._ "

"And what about you, Bellamy? Not miserable?"

" _More than you can imagine. Only thing worse than bringing these three delinquents would be bringing you, princess._ "

"You wish. I went fishing with my dad all the time. I'm awesome at being stuck in the middle of nowhere," Clarke laughed.

" _Well then, maybe next time I'll bring you instead, princess_ ," Bellamy says quietly and very un-Bellamy-like.

"Yeah, right. We would probably kill each other one day alone together," Clarke laughed.

" _Right, princess_ ," Bellamy clears his throat. " _We're going to leave in like an hour. I haven't had anything, but one beer. So we'll be there before sunrise_."

"Text me when you get close. I'm going to need to prepare Octavia."

" _Nah. Let's keep this a secret from my little sister. Just a little revenge._ "

Clarke sighed, "Fine. Then I better run to the store so you can make your apology pancakes tomorrow morning."

" _Deal. See you soon, princess_ ," and it sounded so much more than a goodbye.

Clarke hung up the phone shaking her head. What was with him? If she didn't know any better, she would think he was high, but he never did drugs. She shrugged it off and pushed it aside as she threw on some more clothes and headed to the store.

After she unpacked the extra food knowing the boys would eat almost everything, she decided to sleep on the couch so she would hear the boys pull up. Next thing she knew the sun was rising and shining in her eyes.

"Good morning, princess," Clarke's eyes flew open to see Bellamy's brown ones staring back at her.

"What? When did you guys get here?" She looked around and saw Miller and Jasper bringing their bags in and Monty hopping from one foot to the other.

"Just a few minutes ago. We didn't want to wake you, but I need to know where you put all the pancake stuff," Bellamy actually looks nervous and Clarke realizes it's because he never wants Octavia to be mad at him - hence his famous apology pancakes.

"Finally figured out how pissed Octavia is going to be."

Bellamy smirked at her, "Just tell me where they are, princess."

"Kitchen. Cabinet on the right. I'll help you," Clarke stood up and followed him to the kitchen.

"Finally figured out how pissed Octavia is going to be at _you_?" Bellamy smirked over his shoulder at her.

"Shut up," Clarke started unpacking things, but was useless in the kitchen so she just stepped back and watched Bellamy get to work.

When everything was starting, Monty poked his head into the kitchen, "Can I now, Bellamy?"

"Yeah. Go ahead," Bellamy responded without looking up. Clarke was sitting on the counter behind him and munching on some blueberries Bellamy had put into a batch of pancakes.

"What's he doing?"

Bellamy turned around and took the bag away from her, "Wait for it."

Clarke reached for the bag, but Bellamy shook his head and motioned for her hand and poured a large handful into her palm. Clarke smiled up at him and tucked her other leg under her again.

"OH MY GOD!!!" Octavia screamed from the back room.

Raven came out first looking miserable, "Never again. Never again." Raven continued grumbling as she made her way to the couch and pushed Miller to the other side before curling up under a throw blanket.

Octavia came running down the hallway followed by Monty. She practically tackled Jasper and then jumped on Miller who laughed and fell on top of Raven, who started throwing curses at everyone in the room.

Bellamy walked out into the living room, followed by Clarke, "And what about me? Do I get a hug?"

"BELL!" Octavia launched herself at her brother, who was prepared for it and didn't fall over like Jasper had. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We were miserable in Vermont and just when we thought spring break was going to be a bust, princess called and told us you were here."

Octavia shot a look over her brother's shoulder at Clarke.

"I'm sorry, O. I just knew you were homesick and would want to see everyone for a little bit before you went back to school," Clarke tried to tell her the story she told Bellamy as to why she was home and not the real reason.

"It's alright, Clarke. I guess I did miss these knuckleheads a little bit more than I let on," Octavia smiled at her from next to Bellamy. "Besides. I smell some of Bell's famous apology pancakes burning."

"Shit," Bellamy walked past Clarke into the kitchen as Octavia started laughing and sat down in the same seat as Jasper. Monty was sitting on the couch between Miller and Raven so Clarke sat on the ground next to Raven's head.

"Griffin," Raven mumbled without opening her eyes. "A little warning next time. And less moonshine."

Clarke started laughing as Bellamy called from the kitchen, "Princess! I thought you were suppose to be helping here."

"I was forgiven, you weren't!" Clarke calls back as she stands up and grabs plates and utensils and cups and orange juice and brings it back to the living room for everyone to share. She heads back and starts making coffee and brings coffee mugs full for everyone. By the time she finishes and collapses back next to Raven who is now sitting up and drinking the coffee, Bellamy is bringing the pancakes and syrup out and sits next to Clarke on the floor as everyone begins eating.

"So, O? Why are you really home? And don't say you're homesick. I know the princess is lying for you," Bellamy starts as he begins cutting up some blueberry pancakes. Clarke elbows him from her spot next to him and catches him in the ribs. "Ow!"

"Bell. Can we not right now? I just want to hang out with everyone before I go back and just have fun, okay?" Octavia gives him her best puppy dog eyes.

"Fine," he glares at Octavia. When everyone starts talking again he leans into Clarke and whispers, "We're not done, princess."

They spent the rest of the day at the beach which was empty for the most part. Since it was too cold to actually do any normal beach activities, the girls had brought blankets and towels and huddled together on the sand and watched the four boys play football together.

Monty collapsed next to them and said, "I'm out!"

"Come on, Monty! We need one more to make it even!" Jasper called to him.

Bellamy laughed, "You really think I can't beat you and Miller by myself, Jas?!"

"We're all aware at how great of a football player you are, Bellamy. No need to brag and make us look like lesser men," Miller called back.

"Come on, Clarke! Take Monty's spot!" Jasper begged.

"You play, Clarke?" Raven asked.

"Yeah. I use to play with my dad sometimes and then at our family things growing up," Clarke shrugged.

"No. No fair! I want Clarke on my team," Miller yelled. "Her spiral is better than Bellamy's!"

"That is so not true," Bellamy glared at Miller.

A slow smile crossed Clarke's face, "Wanna bet?" She stood up and crossed the patch of sand.

Bellamy smirked at her, "Alright. Jasper switch teams."

"Yes!" Jasper danced across the sand to stand next to Bellamy.

"Ladies, first," Bellamy tossed the ball to Clarke.

"Don't go and be a gentleman now, Bellamy," Clarke raised her eyebrows at him.

"Trust me, that's the last free pass you get, princess."

Clarke turned to Miller to come up with a plan.

As soon as they started, Clarke was able to get the ball to Miller who was shorter than Bellamy and thus faster on the sand. Jasper was scared to tackle her and her and Miller were able to take the lead pretty quickly.

After they were up by five points (they didn't use a typical football score, each touchdown was only a point), Bellamy finally figured out the problem. He switched with Jasper having Jasper cover Miller and came closer to cover Clarke and she knew. As soon as he could, he would tackle her like it was nothing. She should have asked to switch to touch football, but she wasn't going to back down now.

When she started the play, Miller took off running on the softer sand which would cause anyone else to stumble, but not him - Jasper did a few times. She was watching Bellamy out of the corner of her eye count to ten before he could make a move towards her. When she saw him start to move towards her, she let the ball fly through the air - a perfect spiral - and land in Miller's hands and then she felt Bellamy hitting her with all the force he had.

"Umph," Clarke groaned. She was going to be bruised for a month. "Damnit, Bellamy. Couldn't you be a little bit nicer."

"I told you no free passes," Bellamy laughed as he rolled onto the sand next to her.

Clarke sat up and saw Octavia, Raven, and Monty laughing so hard they were rolling in the sand. She looked down towards her other friends, Jasper was sprawled face down in the sand and Miller was walking back to help him up laughing and carrying the football under his arm. When Miller caught her eye, he gave her a thumbs up.

"Well, it looks like I didn't need your free passes anyway. It's now 6 to 2. Ready to admit defeat?" Clarke looked down at Bellamy who was still laying on his back watching her.

"It's only because you got Miller and I got Jasper."

"You made the teams," Clarke poked his nose and he swatted her hand away.

"Because you would have complained about Miller and me being on the same team. Because we played in high school."

"I played in high school too, remember?"

Bellamy started laughing and clutched his stomach, "You call that football?! It wasn't even touch football! You wore those stupid things with flags hanging off your waist!"

"And I won every year. Don't forget that," Clarke swatted him on the arm.

Bellamy rolled his eyes and stood up and pulled Clarke up with him, "I guess we should call it quits.""

"Ego can't take the hit, big brother?" Octavia called from her spot in the sand.

"I'm man enough to admit that I got beat. But if we want to go to Grounders tonight - O you take forever to get ready."

He was right of course. Octavia took forever and a day to get ready. And its not like Grounders was some big fancy club. Nyko, the owner, had been looking for a quieter life so he had settled in their small beach town, but quickly realized that a bar would not be successful if he limited it to only 21 and over. Therefore, he got permission to open the bar to 18 and over, but only liquor to 21 and up. It worked and kept the under 21 crowd out of harms way on summer nights.

When Clarke and Octavia were 16, they would get dressed up in short skirts and heels to go to Grounders. Now that they were older, they realized how ridiculous they looked. Nyko knew they were under 18, but he liked them so he looked the other way - as long as they didn't drink. Which was okay because they always drank Monty's moonshine before getting there.

Now Clarke was dressed in a pair of skinny jeans and sandals. Raven was in a skirt and converses and Octavia was in a skirt and sandals. Octavia had done her hair and makeup like normal, but Raven and Clarke went for a more minimal look.

Clarke thought they looked like an interesting bunch walking the few blocks to Grounders. Octavia and Raven were leading the way singing "Uptown Funk" at the top of their lungs with Jasper dancing behind them to his own beat and Clarke and Monty walking arm in arm behind their friends laughing. Clarke could hear Bellamy and Miller talking about some movie they wanted to see behind her.

When they walked into Grounders, Nyko saw them immediately, "Little Blake!" Octavia ran up to him to hug him and Clarke followed, "And the princess." Nyko smiled as Clarke groaned. He used the name because she turned 18 after Octavia and Octavia demanded they both go with their real ID's and made Clarke wear a tiara and a birthday sash (thankfully Bellamy was at school that weekend or it would have been the end of Octavia).

"Nyko, this is my friend Raven from school. Raven, Nyko." He hugged Raven who looked shocked, but that's just who he was.

"Any friend of my favorite customers is a favorite customer," Nyko laughed before spotting the guys.

"Less friendly Blake!" Everyone laughed and Bellamy rolled his eyes, "No fights tonight, please."

"Well tell you're customers not to piss me off," Bellamy smirked and him and Miller (the only 21 year olds) made their way to the bar.

Octavia dragged Clarke and Raven to the dance floor. Raven only stayed for a few songs complaining about her knee and Clarke left with her swearing Bellamy broke a rib and she couldn't breathe. Monty and Jasper had joined Octavia so she felt fine leaving her on the dance floor.

Raven and Clarke were laughing and talking about everything random they could think of - just like they did when it was a late night and they were both laying in their beds and couldn't sleep. Octavia and the two boys made their way over to the table and joined the flowing conversation.

Raven suddenly interrupts Jasper's story about his latest flirting disaster, "Clarke. Tell me. How have you never thought of hitting that?"

Everyone turns to see Bellamy and Miller at the bar talking to the female bartender and Miller was failing at laying on the charm and Bellamy was trying to help him without making it obvious.

"Ew! That's my brother, Raven," Octavia shook her head and looked away.

"Exactly," Raven looked to Clarke. "There are only two women in this group of friends and you literally have the biggest player ever and Octavia can't sleep with him because - ew. But why not you?"

"Because up until a few months ago we couldn't spend any time together alone without wanting to kill each other," Clarke took a sip of her soda (splashed with some of Monty's moonshine).

"Exactly," Monty said. "They're fights were epic! But like in a good way. They were very entertaining."

"I almost forgot!" Octavia practically jumped out of her seat. "Bellamy and Clarke didn't always HATE each other."

"Really? When?" Raven asked interested.

"Octavia. You're lying. They have hated each other since the day Monty and I met you all," Jasper shakes his head.

"Yeah, but Bell and I knew Clarke before we knew you," Octavia's eyebrows wiggled up and down.

"Oh my god. This again! I was seven, Octavia," Clarke rolled her eyes and sighed.

"WHAT?!" Raven, Monty, and Jasper said at the same time.

Octavia laughed an evil laugh and stated as a matter of fact, "Clarke once had a crush on Bellamy."

"Ugh! I was SEVEN!" Clarke dropped her head to the table and quickly regretted it.

"Explain," Jasper sat back in his seat after doing a happy dance.

"She made him a Valentine's Day card when we were in the second grade. Signed it your secret admirer and everything," Octavia laughed again and soon everyone was laughing with her - except Clarke.

"Again. I WAS SEVEN!" Clarke sighed not getting through to her friends.

"Princess, stop yelling. No one cares," Bellamy and Miller had appeared at their table. Miller had squished himself between Octavia and Monty and Bellamy was between Raven and Clarke.

"Don't. Even. Start," Clarke said without looking at him and then everyone was laughing again.

Miller took a sip of his beer and looked at Bellamy, "Looks like we missed something."

"Well now I want to know. Anything that embarrasses the princess is good with me," Bellamy looked around for an explanation, but everyone was just hit with another round of laughter.

"No, you don't want to know," Clarke sighed and looked around. "I WAS FREAKING SEVEN YEARS OLD! It was a stupid little crush that lasted two days, people! Two days!"

Bellamy stopped moving next to her and tensed up. He knew. She just knew that he knew what they were talking about.

"Oh, you're talking about the Valentine's Day card," Miller said like its no big deal and everyone just stared at him.

"How did YOU know about that?" Octavia pointed a finger at him.

"I was in the same class as Bellamy. That was the year that asshole - what was his name? - Oh Tristian broke Clarke's gingerbread house and Bellamy threatened to beat him up after he helped Clarke put it back together."

Everyone turned to look at Bellamy who took a sip of his beer and surveyed the bar refusing to look at any of them.

"You threatened to beat him up?" Clarke asked surprised.

"I remember that now!" Jasper jumped up and down. "All the kids in grade above us were running around singing that 'kissing' song at recess after that. Remember, Monty?" Monty just nodded his head with wide eyes.

"Wait," Octavia put her hands out on either side of her. "What 'kissing' song?"

"You know," Jasper said rolling his eyes and began to sing. "Bellamy and Clarke sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love then comes marriage then comes baby in the baby carriage!" By the end he's up dancing around again.

Octavia looked to Clarke, "Did you know any of this?" Clarke just shook her head slowly to say no.

Clarke narrowed her eyes at Bellamy, who was playing with the label on his beer, "You became an ass after that card. It's because all the kids were singing that song?" She started laughing so hard that she almost fell off her stool. "The Great Bellamy Blake was scared of a bunch of fourth graders!"

"Princess, I was in fourth grade too. Besides I had a reputation to uphold," Bellamy smirked at her and took a sip of his beer before shaking it realizing it's empty. "I need another," he said before stalking off towards the bar and sitting down to talk to the brunette bartender again. Clarke caught Miller's surprised face before he shrugged it off and leaned across the table. Closer to Monty then before.

The rest of the week flew by and after spending one more night at the Blakes so Aurora can see Octavia before they leave, the group was packing up and heading out.

Clarke, Octavia and Raven were looking forward to heading back to the City - just the girls blasting girly pop music and singing the rest of the way back. It was Raven's car, but Clarke had driven because Raven didn't like driving long distances with her knee.

Clarke was gathering last minute items and no matter what Octavia says, they're not going to leave the house trashed and was walking towards Raven's car and just hears the end of an argument.

"Bell, why aren't you driving back with the guys?" Octavia whined from the back seat and Raven was standing outside the passenger seat.

"Because princess has the worse sense of direction and I'm not leaving the three of you alone in a car with her driving," Bellamy was adjusting the front driver's seat. "Jesus! How short are you, Clarke?!"

Clarke just shook her head and walked towards the car when she heard Octavia one last time, "No, Raven you have to sit with me. Just trust me."

Clarke glanced up in time to see Octavia glance at her and then at Bellamy and Raven smirked before sitting in the back seat with Octavia.

"Hey! Come on, guys! Really!" Clarke walked towards the car.

"Princess get in, we're leaving!" Bellamy yelled so Clarke slipped into the front passenger seat and shot a glare at Octavia when Bellamy looked up and saw her sitting next to him and looked in the back at a grinning Octavia and Raven. "Damnit, O! Really?"

"By the way, I know how to get back to the City. It's north," Clarke huffed as she buckles herself up and Bellamy backed out of the driveway.

She leaned forward and switched on the radio trying to find a station, "Hey princess. Driver picks the music."

Clarke just rolled her eyes until she landed on the station she wants. 

 _"… South Jersey's Classic Rock Station and next up is a personal favorite,"_   a man's voice came through and not long familiar music begins to play.

"Oh god!" Octavia yelled. "It hasn't even been two minutes and already this!"

"What's this?" Raven looked at Octavia who just shook her head and buried her head in her hands.

"Princess?" Bellamy said quietly as he rolled the windows down. "You know your parts."

Clarke just scoffed at him as he turned the music up to an ear splitting level.

_Is this the real life?_

_Is this just fantasy?_

_Caught in a landslide,_

_No escape from reality._

Clarke and Bellamy begin screaming the music at the top of their lungs - neither one of them carrying a tune.

_Open your eyes,_

_Look up to the skies and see,_

_I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,_

_Because I'm easy come, easy go,_

_Little high, little low,_

_Anyway the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me._

As Clarke sang, she remembered all the other times she did exactly this. Singing her dad's favorite song at the top of her lungs and not caring that she couldn't carry a tune. After her dad died, she had a hard time listening to the music again - especially this song - without crying again. It seemed weird and no one really got it. But one night after a particularly nasty fight with her mom, she made her way to the Blakes' house before forgetting that Octavia was working and Aurora was too, leaving only Bellamy home. When she plopped on the couch next to him scowling at the TV, he surprised her and stood up and pulled her to his car where they drove around listening to the classic rock station and sang every song. No one really knew they did it and Clarke never knew how Bellamy always knew when she needed to just drive and forget everything that mattered.

_Nothing really matters,_

_Anyone can see,_

_Nothing really matters,_

_Nothing really matters to me._

_Anyway the wind blows._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Leave a comment or if you want to talk, I'm on tumblr at diaryofanerdygirlygirl (which I honestly don't use that often - I'm trying to) or on twitter at @nerdygirlygirl which I do try and respond to more frequently.
> 
> As I was fixing spacing and italics, I realized I make fun of shoobies a lot in here. Please don't take it personally. I use to be one before I moved here. Lol. 
> 
> Thanks again!
> 
> PS - The song at the end is "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen. Just in case you missed that one. ;)


	5. Sparks Flying in Her Eyes Like Lighters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our favorite delinquents head to their hometown carnival for some end of summer fun with a side of drama.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late post. My updates are going to be sporadic for the next few weeks. Finals are coming up and I haven't really had time to write. At least not a lot of time. I wrote this in the library when I should have been in class (didn't skip class to finish it, just decided to start writing when I was suppose to be reading for another class). Finals don't end until the middle of May so I won't be planning on writing for awhile and definitely not posting during that time.
> 
> Title is from "Sippin on Fire" by Florida Georgia Line.
> 
> Not edited. Sorry for any mistakes.

## 

After spring break, everyone began cramming for finals, which came much quicker than anyone was prepared for. Once they all aced their finals (which let’s be honest, they may be delinquents, but they are all geniuses in their chosen fields), summer officially began.

Everyone was staying in the city for the summer working various jobs to justify staying rather than going home. Bellamy was working at the bar, the Drop, that he had worked at the last two years and was tutoring summer school students. Clarke was working with kids at a day camp teaching them art. Miller was working security at the bar Bellamy worked at. Jasper and Monty had some gig interning with a pharmaceutical company. Raven was working at the garage she worked at while in high school. Octavia was only home for a short time having gotten an internship back in California. When she wasn’t home visiting their mom, she was sleeping on Clarke and Raven’s pull out couch in their new apartment.

Summer passed by quickly and perfectly with nothing exciting really happening with the group. Oh, except Clarke kissing him.

He paid his debt to his friend, Lily, who let the girls (and latter the guys) borrow her parents’ beach house for the week, but she showed up one night in July at the bar. Miller had off, but Bellamy was still working so the rest of the gang had met up there after all of their shifts were over at their own jobs to celebrate the end of a work week.

Lily walked in and made her way towards the bar and began yelling at Bellamy about something, he honestly didn’t know what it was about. He could barely hear her over the music and only caught about a third of what she was saying. She had wanted him to attend a family dinner with her to piss off her parents and he did, but apparently he played the part too well. So even though he wasn’t what they wanted for her, they liked him and now she couldn’t bring her real boyfriend around (because he was exactly what her parents wanted for her – something about wanting to piss them off before caving; he really didn’t understand) because they wouldn’t like him as much as Bellamy (the whole raised by a single mom and helped support the family really worked with some parents).

Bellamy didn’t even see Clarke storm up to the bar. He was focused on Lily until Clarke was standing in front of him (she was using the pipe that ran around the bar as a step stool because she was just way too short to reach across the bar like that). He looked at her confused until she leaned in and just kissed him. It was just a peck on the lips, but it shocked him as Clarke turned to Lily and told her that he was done being her toy.

After Lily had stormed out, Clarke smiled at him and walked back towards their friends who were all cheering and whistling. Clarke took a small bow and that was it. No big deal. Yup. No. Big. Deal.

Summer was winding down and the group decided to head back home for their town’s annual carnival. It always marked the end of summer and was mostly full of childish fun, but they wanted to have one more fling with summer before school started and they were all back to the grind of life.

Bellamy was wandering around by himself having left Miller to deal with Jasper and Monty in the House of Mirrors. Clarke and Raven had taken off on their own as soon as the group arrived and Bellamy was curious how Clarke was doing. Growing up Clarke had loved the rides almost as much as he had, but after the accident, she tended to avoid them. Octavia normally dragged her to the Carnival every year since, but Clarke would make excuses to avoid the rides. He knew Raven would want to ride them so he started looking for them so Raven could join the others without Clarke feeling like she was keeping her friend behind.

He was surprised that it took him so long to find them. The two stood out in any crowd, but especially in Ark Isle Beach. The two were standing near a game talking to each other. As he watched them, Clarke pulled on her shorts trying to hide the end of the scar that poked out under them. She hated that scar and was constantly pulling at anything to hide it. To most people it could be considered ugly. It was thick and ragged and he only knew what it looked like because Octavia had seen it after the accident. Otherwise, Clarke kept it covered up, but he knew it was more of a reminder of her dad than the look of the scar for Clarke.

She tugged on her shorts one more time and he realized it was now a nervous tick. The girls had company and not the good kind. Tristan was there. He was an asshole in high school and still an asshole. Octavia use to tell him that Tristan had taken to harassing Clarke ever since she broke up with Wells - and more importantly after both he and Wells had left for college. Like so many others in their town, he had gone to the local community college and was never more than a washed up high school football player. He actually played with Bellamy in high school, but was too aggressive and the coach was constantly trying to bench him for his excessive penalties. He barely noticed Tristan’s two lackeys standing on either side of him sizing Raven up.

Before Bellamy knew it, he began stalking towards the girls – his … friends. As he got closer he made eye contact with Raven and heard her say quietly to Clarke, “Boyfriend. Incoming.”

Without thinking, just acting, Bellamy wrapped an arm around Clarke’s waist and appeared at her right side. He was planning to lean down a place a kiss on her cheek as a hello, but she turned at the last second and Bellamy kissed her right on the lips (again – just a peck – no big deal). He grinned down at her, “There you are.”

A slow smile crossed Clarke’s face (and Bellamy could just barely see Raven’s shit eating grin behind Clarke), “Here I am.”

Bellamy turned to Tristan and his sidekicks, “Hey Tristan. How’s it going?”

“Good,” he paused before asking. “When did you two start dating?”

“Earlier this year,” Clarke smiled at him and leaned into Bellamy like it was nothing.

“And here I always thought you only like football players worth a shit,” Tristan grinned at Bellamy hoping he would take the bait, but Clarke stepped in first.

“Maybe. I mean Bellamy did set the record for receiving yards in high school for the first time in 50 years. So, I mean, that’s a pretty big deal, right?” Clarke looked at Tristan slightly confused.

Tristan just grumbled something unintelligible and nodded goodbye to Clarke and his two lackeys followed him off.

“Wow. He’s not even that cute to be that big of an ass,” Raven whispered.

Bellamy ginned and Clarke just shook her head with a small smile.

“Thanks for the save, by the way,” Clarke said to him.

“Hey, that’s what friends are for. But… we should probably stick together for awhile until he gets bored and leaves you alone,” Bellamy let go of her waist and took her hand leading her and Raven away.

They walked in silence for a while and Bellamy had a hard time concentrating on finding the guys with her thumb drawing circles into his knuckles. Raven began pointing out all the rides she wanted to go on and Clarke was telling her which were the best and which to avoid since it was the same carnival run by the same people that came into town every year.

When they found the guys, it didn’t take long for a comment to be made about Clarke’s hand in his.

“Whoa, guys. We just left the House of Mirrors, but I swear I’m seeing things now,” Jasper looked pointedly at their hands and Monty and Miller stared laughing.

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Bellamy just saved me from Tristan.”

They all stopped laughing and began looking around.

“Where is he?” Miller asked and Jasper nodded while Monty was shaking his head.

“Wow. That went from zero to sixty. What’s up with this guy?” Raven asked.

“Bellamy and Tristan were practically mortal enemies in high school,” Jasper supplied.

“It was, like, the one thing that Bellamy and Wells agreed on. Besides…,” Monty trailed off and looked away.

“Got it,” Raven grinned slowly. “Alright, Griffin. Let’s go. I want to start riding all of these rides. Whose in?”

The guys all nodded in agreement, but Bellamy reached up to rub the back of his neck, “I’m going to sit out for a few. I think I slept wrong and I’ve got this knot in my neck now. Probably not a good idea to be hanging upside down.”

“That is the lamest excuse ever,” Raven looked at him.

“You know, I’ll sit out with you, Bellamy,” Clarke stepped closer to him. “Just in case we run into Tristan again,” she swung their hands up for everyone to see.

“Clarke, really?” Raven was about to go further until Bellamy caught her eyes and shook his head slightly. “Alright, whatever you say, Griffin. We’ll meet up later for food, okay?”

“Sounds good,” Clarke smiled at Raven and the rest of their friends disappeared.

Bellamy and Clarke were wandering around, their hands still clasped together, watching everyone and laughing. Bellamy had caught Tristan wandering close by a few times and figured he was still waiting for Clarke to be on her own. He really had a thick skull if he still thought he had a chance with her.

They were walking behind all the food trucks when they ran into Abby Griffin. She was walking in their direction and they were looking another way and didn’t see her until she was right in front of them.

“Mom,” Clarke said shocked.

“Clarke,” Abby’s eyes traced from her daughter’s face down to their joined hands and up to Bellamy’s face. “Bellamy.”

“I thought you were working today, Mom,” Clarke asked drawing her mom’s attention away from Bellamy.

“A doctor at the hospital needed tomorrow off so I offered to switch with them. A friend brought her two children here and invited me along. I thought you were in New York?”

“We were. We had the idea this morning to come down here because we missed it last year and Raven hasn’t been before.”

“Oh,” Abby looked a little relieved. “So all your friends are here?”

“Yeah, Mom? Why wouldn’t they be?”

Abby’s eyes dropped to their joined hands again.

“Um, I’ll be over by the food trucks, Clarke. Just meet me there when you’re done,” Bellamy squeezed her hand once before letting go and turning to Abby. “Nice to see you again, Dr. Griffin.”

“You too, Bellamy,” she responded before he turned and walked away.

He knew he should have kept walking, but he stopped when their raised voices reached him.

“We’re not dating, mom,” Clarke huffed out and Bellamy slipped behind a truck to watch her cross her arms across her chest.

“Then why are you holding hands?” Abby’s voice was lower, but he could still hear her.

“Because, you remember that guy Tristan that was constantly asking me out after Wells and I broke up? Well, he’s here and he started bugging me again so Bellamy and I are just pretending.”

“Is he the reason you chose political science over pre-med?”

“What? Is that what this is about? My major? He’s not. I made the decision. I like the law. I feel like I can help more people as a prosecutor than I can as a doctor.”

“I highly doubt that’s true.”

“It doesn’t matter whether it’s true or not, but I like the law and I’m choosing it over medicine. We’ve had this fight all summer long and I’m not having it again.”

“I’m paying for your schooling, Clarke. I can take it away if I think you’re wasting it.”

Clarke glared at her mother with so much anger, “You’re not paying for it. Dad is. You’re just in charge of the trust. I could easily fight you for the money if I had to. Dad’s will said I should study what made me happy. And this makes me happy.”

“I knew the Blakes were bad for you. They’re bad influences.”

Clarke arms came uncrossed and balled into fists at her side, “They are _not_ bad influences on me. They are good people. Aurora worked three jobs to support her family. Bellamy took care of Octavia and is working two jobs to pay his way through college. Octavia got a _full_ ride to Stanford. They are good people and I am lucky to call them my friends.”

“That boy is not good enough for you. You should have fought to get Wells back.”

“Mom! Bellamy and I are _not_ dating and even if we were, he would be more than good enough for me. Are you even listening to me? He’s the hardest working guy I know, supporting himself and paying his own way through school. He’s going to graduate this year and go to graduate school and get his Ph.D. How many other guys from this god forsaken town can claim to have done that? Not even Wells has plans for graduate school. Besides, did you ever think that maybe _I_ wasn’t good enough for him?”

Bellamy rolled his eyes. Clarke was being overdramatic and just trying to get her mother to drop it.

“Clarke, those are all great accomplishments, but he’s still has the same temper he had in high school. How many fights did he get into at school?”

“Only like two and they were during the offseason.”

“Only two the school caught him in. How many did they not catch him?”

Clarke didn’t respond and just glared at her mom, “Ask me how many fights he’s gotten into in college? None, Mom.”

That wasn’t true, but Clarke didn’t know that.

“Everyone grows up eventually and they change. People change and sometimes it’s for the good and sometimes it’s just different. Bellamy has changed. I have changed. I’m not going to keep fighting with you, Mom. I love you and I’ll call you when I get back to school.”

Bellamy watched as Clarke leaned forward to hug her mom and place a kiss on her cheek, but Abby took a step around her daughter and avoided her. He waited in the shadows as he watched Clarke watch her mom walk away without another word. He could see the tears forming in her eyes as she turned away.

Clarke made her way towards the trucks without really seeing past the tears. He knew this because he stepped in front of her and she still crashed into him.

“Hey, it’s me,” he said softly as he hugged her. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Clarke muttered into his chest where her face was pressed against him. He let go of her and kept one arm wrapped around her shoulder and made her way towards the tables and sat her down at an empty one in the corner while he went to get a bottle of water and a funnel cake, her favorite carnival food.

When he returned she was wiping at her eyes and he sat down on the same bench facing her and she turned to look at him while he placed the water, food, and some napkins on the table before handing her one to use as a tissue.

“You want to talk about it?” Bellamy asked without looking at her.

“How much did you hear?” Clarke wiped the tears and took a sip of the water.

“Not much,” he turned to look at her.

“So all of it,” Clarke shook her head with a small smile. “I’m sorry about her. You know I don’t think any of that, right? You’re my friend and I don’t see you like that.”

“I know you, Clarke. You wouldn’t say something you didn’t mean.”

“Good. Because Octavia and your mom are my family and I think we’re friends, right?”

“Yeah, princess. We’re friends,” Bellamy gave her a small smile and watched her take a bite of the cake.

“She still thinks I should go into medicine, but I – I can’t even get on a ride at an amusement park without having flashbacks. Imagine being in the ER and having one of my things happen. Would you want a doctor operating on you that all of a sudden has a break down? No. No one does. And she doesn’t understand that.”

Bellamy grabbed a piece of the cake and just kept his eyes trained on her face so she would know he was listening.

“I can’t even walk into a hospital. Not since Dad – not since the accident. It’s ridiculous. I’m a walking, talking, medical disaster and she wants me to go to medical school. It’s not like law school is any less than med school. It’s just different.”

“It’s less years,” Bellamy offered lamely.

Clarke laughed, “Yeah, it is and once I graduate and pass the bar, I’m done. No interning, no residency. Just real world.”

“So it’s the better of the two, if you ask me.”

Clarke smiled and shook her head. They ate in silence for a little while.

“So why did you decide law over art or something else?”

“I don’t know. I love drawing and painting, but if I made it a career or even a major, I think it wouldn’t be an escape anymore.”

“So are you going to go into politics like Mayor Jaha?” Bellamy smirked at her and she laughed.

“God, no. Wells can have that career. I’d prefer just helping people who have had something taken away from them.”

“Well, that’s very royal of you, princess.”

Clarke threw some of the sugar on the plate at him and laughed.

“There you two are,” Raven plopped down next to Clarke. “I thought you were doing it on that love birds float ride.”

Clarke blushed, but laughed at Raven and Bellamy just smirked at the two girls.

“You got funnel cake without us, Clarke. How rude,” Jasper sat down across from Raven and grabbed the rest of the cake to share with Monty who sat in between Jasper and Miller.

“I’m hungry. You boys owe me dinner since you couldn’t ride that ride without throwing up,” Raven pointed to Jasper.

“Ew,” Monty pushed the rest of the cake towards Jasper. “I think I just lost my appetite.

“Come on, Miller,” Bellamy stood up. “What do you all want?”

Everyone began giving their orders and they left to get food for the group.

Later that night, Miller was driving his car with Jasper and Monty and Bellamy was driving his with Raven asleep in the back seat and Clarke sitting next to him.  Clarke’s phone lit up with a message and she looked at it.

“It’s my mom,” she said simply.

“What does she want?”

“Wants to know if I’m still coming to the hospital fundraiser in two weeks. It’s her typical passive aggressive behavior.”

“Are you going?”

“Yeah. I have to. I painted some paintings over the summer and they are getting auctioned.”

“Well, if you need someone to go with you, let me know.”

“Thanks, but I wouldn’t subject you to that,” Clarke smiled at him in the dashboard light. 

“If you change your mind, the offer still stands,” he returned the smile and focused back on Miller’s taillights.

* * *

 

“Hey, do they still have that carnival every year?” Raven asked from her seat.

“No, the company went under a few years back,” Octavia curled into Lincoln’s side.

“Is that why you’ve never taken me?” Lincoln asked smiling and Octavia just shook her head.

“You know, we all make pretty good money now. We could probably pay for the carnival as a group?” Jasper asked hopefully.

“Who makes good money?” Octavia scoffs. “Bell is a teacher. Clarke works for the city. Miller is a cop.”

“Detective,” Miller corrects.

Octavia just glares at him for interrupting, “Lincoln works for the MET. I don’t know what any of the rest of you do.”

“I make good money,” Raven states simply. “Also, I work for an engineering firm.”

“Jasper and I work for a tech company,” Monty supplies.

“What do _you_ do?” Jasper looks to Octavia.

She throws a pillow at him before answering, “I work for a PR firm. Remember?” 

“Oh, right,” Jasper keeps the pillow to lie on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time... Clarke and Bellamy get a love interest, but is it each other???
> 
> Just a note, Clarke gives a valid explanation for choosing law school over medical school, but I wanted to explain it a little more. Basically I'm in law school (hence all the studying for finals) so I understand it better than med school and when I'm bored in class I created little stories for this and there is a chapter coming up that I came up with in a class and I just loved it so that's why I choose law school. I'll let you know when that chapter comes up.
> 
> Thanks for all the comments and kudos. I love them all!!!


	6. Because I'm Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke starts dating Finn (and Bellamy starts "dating" Echo).
> 
> Chapter title from "Happy" by Pharrell Williams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how I got this done. I had about an hour to kill on Thursday and it just started flowing, but then I had to rush to my night class. I had stopped in the middle of a thought so I wanted to get the thought done, but then I just kept going and somehow finished it.
> 
> I originally didn't really like this chapter and it was going to be really short, but some how it ended up over 2k words and it's not edited. Sorry!
> 
> There's no real time jump here. It starts probably a week after the last one then covers about two months so it ends probably somewhere in October/November.

“Princess, will you hurry up? We’re going to be late… again,” Clarke heard Bellamy yell from the door of the small coffee shop. It was one of those non-franchise shops that was run by a husband and wife and Clarke loved it. Unfortunately, it was closer to the guys’ apartments than it was to hers and Raven’s so she could only stop there when she was visiting them.

Clarke rolled her eyes and kept looking at all the pastries trying to decide what she wanted. She just wanted to grab a quick snack since she hadn’t eaten today and she knew drinking with everyone on an empty stomach was never a good idea.

“Your boyfriend seems kind of impatient,” a voice said from behind her. Clarke turned around and took in the long, dark hair and big smile of the guy who seemed to be around her age.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Clarke rolled her eyes at Bellamy, she could literally feel his irritation from across the shop.

“Oh, then what’s with the ‘princess’ thing? It sounds like an endearment.”

“It’s not. It’s him being an ass. Which is often,” Clarke found a blueberry muffin and asked the girl working behind the counter for it along with her usual coffee.

“Well, it kind of suits you,” the guy came to stand closer to her. “I’m Finn, by the way.”

“Clarke. Nice to meet you,” she shook the hand he offered. “What do you mean it suits me?”

“I don’t know. You kind of look like one of those Disney princesses,” Finn shrugged and gave her a small smile.

Clarke grinned, “That’s why he calls me it.”

Finn raised his eyebrows asking for clarification and Clarke explained, “When his sister and I were 5 we were Disney princesses for Halloween. I was Cinderella and she was Belle.”

Finn let out a laugh and a loud one.

“Princess,” Bellamy had appeared next to her. “Are we ready yet?”

“Yup,” Clarke smiled at him because sometimes he would forget his irritation with her if she pulled out one of the smiles Octavia normally gave him and she didn’t want to deal with a grumpy Bellamy all night.

Clarke turned to pay, but Finn was handing her her coffee and muffin after paying for both of theirs.

“Oh, here let me pay you,” Clarke handed everything to Bellamy to dig around for some change.

“No worry, princess. It’s on me. All that pass it on karma. It’s good for you, you know?” Finn smiled once more and nodded towards Bellamy before leaving the store.

“Well that was nice,” Clarke threw her wallet back in her bag and went to take her stuff from Bellamy again.

“No it wasn’t,” he was looking at the sleeve on her coffee like it had personally offended him.

“Bell, come on. It’s nice when people doing something nice for strangers every now and then.”

“Right, whatever you say, Clarke,” he handed over the coffee and muffin and stalked out of the store.

Clarke went to follow after taking a sip and noticing why Bellamy was staring at the sleeve. Finn had written his number on it before placing it on the hot cup. _Oh,_ Clarke thought. _Well, the least I can do is call him and thank him._

And that’s what she did. After she dealt with a grumpy Bellamy all night. She even tried to offer him some of her muffin because she knew blueberry was his favorite too.

 

Two days later, Clarke met Finn at the same coffee shop. They spent most of the afternoon together and even into the early evening, making her late for dinner plans with the group. When she arrived, they all wanted to know all about the date and most of the dinner was spent discussing it. Bellamy and Miller left about two hours after dinner started and headed to the bar they worked at. They weren’t working, but they claimed they needed to pick some stuff up and would be back. Which never happened.

 

It was two weeks later that Clarke was walking into Bellamy and Miller’s apartment. It was early on a Sunday and she and Raven were having breakfast with Monty and Jasper and Clarke hadn’t seen the other two since dinner two weeks ago so she decided to wake them up and make them come to breakfast with them.

When she walked in, Miller was sitting in the kitchen with a bowl of cereal and quickly jumped up to stop her from walking in any further.

“What?”

“Nothing, Bellamy’s still sleeping. He worked a double yesterday and was exhausted so I don’t want anyone waking him.”

“Well, I am. I haven’t seen him in two weeks. I want you both to come to breakfast with us,” she went to move around Miller, but he stopped her again.

“Breakfast sounds good. I’ll come, but let him sleep. You know if you wake him he’ll be miserable.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure I wake him so he won’t be,” Clarke grinned at Miller and finally managed to get around him and push open Bellamy’s door and saw why Miller didn’t want her in there.

Bellamy was sprawled on his bed and had to be naked. The sheet was only cover part of his body. Clarke could see his legs and chest, but that wasn’t what made her turn bright red. (It’s not like she hadn’t seen Bellamy in various states of undress over the years. She practically lived at the Blakes’ house growing up.) Next to him and just as equally naked was a girl. She was lean with warmer skin and light brown hair and was clearly beautiful.

“Oh,” Clarke squeaked and quickly stepped back while Miller closed the door quietly.

“Come on, Clarke,” Miller said quietly and took her arm leading her away. He pushed her out the door and closed it behind them locking it.

“Do you know who she is?” Clarke stared at the ground not wanting to look at Miller.

“Her name is Echo. She’s been a regular at the bar for the last year or so. This,” he motioned towards the door, “just started about two weeks ago.”

Clarke met Miller’s eyes and forced a smile, “Good. That’s good. I’m glad.”

“Clarke! What’s taking so long!?” Raven yelled from a floor down.

“I’ve got Miller! No Bellamy though!” Clarke called back down and looped her arm through Miller’s to drag him downstairs with her.

“Good!” Monty called back.

“Sleeping beauty too good for us?!” Raven called out as her and Miller came into view.

“Something like that,” Clarke offered a smile and let go of Miller to grab Raven’s arm. “I’m starving!”

“That I can agree with,” Jasper said leading the group down the rest of the stairs and onto the street.

 

Two months pass and Clarke barely sees Bellamy. She shouldn’t complain because she barely sees Miller, Jasper, or Monty either. She would probably not see Raven so much if they weren’t living together.

Clarke spends all her spare time with Finn Collins who was a sophomore at NYU and local to the City. She really liked him. Spending time with him was easy and he made her laugh. It was simple. It was like being with Wells again, but not really; nothing like being with Bellamy. He was always scowling and angry at her about something. It didn’t matter because much to Raven and Octavia’s disappoint nothing would ever happen between her and Bellamy.

Clarke had yet to introduce Finn to anyone. She hadn’t even told any of them his name. She liked keeping him as a little secret. Especially after everyone was a part of her relationship with Wells like it was their story too. She like having something that just belonged to her.

Only Bellamy had met him and whenever any of the others asked what Finn was like, he would simply respond, “he’s a douche.” And Bellamy would refer to him as Prince Charming when asked about him. Clarke would roll her eyes, but didn’t correct him. He referred to Wells in the same way all through high school and she knew it would just end in a fight.

Clarke didn’t let him to get her. She didn’t understand why he was so angry about it. He and his “friend” Echo had become “friends with benefits.” Clarke was pretty sure they were dating and he was just denying it. Clarke met Echo a few times at parties and she seemed nice – a little cold, but nice still.

 

Being with Finn was easy, too easy. In the two months since they met they only had one disagreement and that was over that stupid nickname – princess.

“Why do you allow Bellamy to call you it, but I’m not?” Finn asked for the hundredth time.

“Because I gave up fighting him over it years ago and I’m not going to go through this again with someone else.”

“Come on, it’s sweet. I like it, princess.”

“Finn, please stop. I don’t like it and you know that. Why are you still using it?”

“Because you’re not dating Bellamy and he uses it. I think its weird.”

“For the hundredth time, Bellamy and I have been friends for years. There’s nothing there.”

“Whatever you say, Clarke." 

It annoyed her how often they kept having this argument and then he would pout and she would have to tease him to get him out of his mood. (It was so much easier to get Bellamy out of his grumpy moods than Finn, but Finn’s were rare so she dealt with it when she had to.)

 

Aurora’s birthday was that weekend and Clarke had overheard Miller telling Monty that Bellamy would be going home for the weekend to spend it with his mom. That same weekend Raven had announced that her high school boyfriend was coming home after spending a little over a year in a third world country teaching kids and she wanted to spend some time with him reconnecting. She hinted that they might get back together and Clarke was happy for her friend. It also meant another person in the group would be able to go on double dates with her and Finn.

_Hey Bellamy. I heard your going home this weekend._

_Mind if I tag along? Raven’s BF is coming home this weekend._

_I don’t think even you want me to be around for that. Lol._

_It’s my mom’s birthday. I was going to take her out to dinner to celebrate._

_That’s fine. I can hang out at the house while you guys go._

_Why don’t you just go see your own mother, princess?_

_Because I really don’t want to spend a whole weekend with_

_her discussing how I’m a failure for not choosing pre-med as_

_a major. Please! I promise to stay out of the way._

_Fine. But bring something nice to wear._

_My mom’s not going to let you sit at home for dinner._

_I_ _’m leaving Friday around 1 so be at my place before then._

_I’m not going to wait for you._

_Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Bell! I owe you one._

 

Thursday night she had dinner with Finn and told him she was heading home for the weekend. He seemed cool with it since he had a big project due on Monday and would probably spend the whole weekend in the library. He was less happy that she was going with Bellamy until she reminded him it was his mother’s birthday and they would be staying with her. He still wasn’t happy about it, but there was little he could do about it so he just told her to text him so he didn’t die of boredom in the library.

 

She was able to leave her Friday morning class early and make it to Bellamy and Miller’s apartment by 12:30.

“Honey, I’m home!” Clarke yelled upon entering.

“Welcome back, darling!” Miller called from the kitchen and Clarke laughed as she hugged him.

“Where’s the boyfriend at?” Clarke asked.

“Packing probably. You know how he waits until the last minute to do everything.”

Clarke followed Miller into the living room and stopped when she saw two women sitting on the couch. She recognized Echo and her scowl. She was clearly not happy. Sitting next to her was a woman around the same age as Echo with long brown hair braided back from her face. Clarke would have considered her delicate if it weren’t for the eyeliner that made her look fierce and ready for battle.

“Hi, Echo!” Clarke smiled at her.

“Clarke,” Echo responded without anything else.

“I’m Clarke,” Clarke held a hand out to the other woman.

“Lexa,” the other woman shook her hand firmly.

“Bellamy and I grew up with Clarke. She’s best friends with his sister,” Miller added.

Lexa nodded and seemed to study Clarke with her clear eyes. It made her uncomfortable, but in an interesting kind of way so Clarke smiled again and turned to ask Miller what his plans for the weekend were.

“Not much. Got a project to work on and working the rest of the time.

“Finn has a project too. He’ll be at the library all weekend,” Clarke blushed.

“So that’s Prince Charming’s name?” Miller grinned.

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Please, don’t. It’s bad enough he calls Finn that.”

“Can we not mention Prince Charming this weekend? I really don’t want to spend the whole weekend discussing that douche,” Bellamy dropped a bag on the floor and hung a garment bag next to the door.

“Whatever you say,” Clarke rolled her eyes.

“You’re going home with him?” Lexa asked.

“Yeah. My roommate’s boyfriend is home for the weekend so I figured I’d make myself scarce and it’s Aurora’s birthday so I thought I’d spend some time with her,” Clarke paused watching Lexa glance at Echo before turning back to Clarke. “I haven’t seen her in awhile and my mom’s busy this weekend so…” Clarke trailed off not knowing what to say to replace the awkward silence that filled up the room.

Echo stood up, “Bellamy may I speak to you in private?”

Bellamy was looking out the window and then glanced at Echo, “Sure. My room?”

Echo nodded and followed Bellamy to his room.

Clarke looked at Miller who shrugged and sat down on one of the chairs. Clarke looked around before taking the only empty seat next to Lexa.

“Did you and Bellamy date in high school?” Lexa asked after a few moments of silence where they could all hear angry muffled voices coming from Bellamy’s room.

“What?! No. God, no,” Clarke could feel her cheeks turning red and shook her head adamantly. “My ex was named Wells and then there was a girl from another school, but that wasn’t anything serious.”

Clarke glanced at Miller who raised his eyebrows at her. Only Octavia knew about Lilly. It had only been a fling during her senior year.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Lexa cleared her throat awkwardly. “I didn’t mean to pry. It’s just Echo’s like family. We protect each other.”

Clarke smiled at her, “That’s what we are: Miller, Bellamy, Octavia, and I. We all grew up together. We look out for each other.”

“And now we’ve got Monty, Jasper, and Raven,” Miller added and Clarke nodded.

“I understand family,” Lexa smiled at Clarke and she felt her face blushing again as she looked away. Not before she caught Miller’s smirk.

“Ready, Clarke?” Bellamy emerged from his room with Echo just behind him. She still wasn’t smiling, but Clarke could see their swollen lips and their mussed hair that they tried to tame.

“Yup,” Clarke gave a big smile to Echo as she stood and gave Miller a hug, who laughed quietly.

“Be nice, Bellamy,” Miller shot a grin at Bellamy who rolled his eyes. “And tell your mom I said ‘happy birthday’. Here.” He handed Clarke an envelope that said ‘Mama Blake’ on it in Monty’s handwriting.

“What’s this?” Clarke asked.

“Just a little something from the rest of us,” Miller shrugged like it was no big deal.

Clarke smiled and turned to see Bellamy grinning too.

Clarke said goodbye to Echo and Lexa and busied herself with reorganizing her bag to slip the card in to avoid Bellamy’s goodbye to Echo.

The two women walked them down to the car and said goodbye again, but Clarke slipped into the passenger seat quickly and waited for Bellamy.

“Alright. Let’s go before we hit traffic,” he slipped in next to her starting the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I considered cutting this chapter, mostly because I don't like Finn, but then I realized I wanted to put pressure on Clarke and Raven's friendship it seemed to become too smooth and after the mush that was Bellamy last chapter I needed him to get angry and jealous and for Clarke to feel awkward around him for a while (and Lexa just came out of no where then).
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it! Feedback is always appreciated!
> 
> Next time.. Bellamy and Clarke visit Mama Blake and hilariousness.. Hopefully.


	7. You Know Smoke Follows Beauty, Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy may be a ladies' man, but he still has a lot to learn about women - especially the women in his life.
> 
> Title from Raised On It by Sam Hunt (I'm going through my annual country phase, I apologize). Bonus, the title appears somewhere in the story too. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for all the sweet comments and kudos. Every time I get an email for kudos or a comment I start smiling like a fool. Seriously, I think people are starting to worry about my sanity. 
> 
> I know I promised weekly updates and then said I wouldn't because of finals; well, I think I'm going to avoid weekly updates at all cost. I started writing this a few weeks ago and would just come back to it whenever I got some time to write and it pretty much turned into over 9k words of just pure cuteness (and some angst, but mostly fluffy Bellarke cuteness) and it's definitely the longest chapter and I'm really, really happy with how it completely changed from what I originally wanted it to be. The majority of the original plot is there, but I added so much extra that I loved so I'm going to keep writing like that and hope everything else comes out as good as this.
> 
> Last thing, I changed up a little of the writing style and I hope its not too obvious, but I think it conveys the inner dialogue a little better and I hope you all enjoy it. Again sorry for the length, but I couldn't split it because of my overall outline and switching POVs for each chapter. 
> 
> Let me know what you think!

“Princess, would you please, for the love that is all holy, stop?!” Bellamy clenched the steering wheel and tried to focus on the road, but Clarke’s constant radio flipping was driving him crazy.

“Sorry. I was just trying to find something good,” Clarke stopped on some indie station that neither of them liked, and sighed as she relaxed in the passenger seat.

“It’s fine. I just have a headache,” Bellamy lied.

“Do you want some aspirin? I think I have some in my bag,” Clarke reached around to dig around in the large bag she called a purse before handing him a pill bottle and her water bottle.

“Thanks,” Bellamy held his hand out as she dropped two pills into his hand and used the water to swallow and tasted Clarke’s lip balm on the edge of it.

“Anytime,” Clarke leaned back once more and stared out the window.

“So why did you really want to come home with me this weekend?”

“I told you. Raven’s boyfriend just got home and she wanted to spend some time with him.”

Bellamy chanced a glance over at her before asking, “Why didn’t you stay with Monty and Jasper then?”

He saw Clarke glance at him from his peripheral, “I asked, but they were doing something weird and it required a lot of rules and secrecy. I would have just stayed at your place with Miller, but I thought it would be weird. So…”

“And what about Prince Charming?”

Clarke narrowed her eyes at him, “I thought you didn’t want to talk about him?”

Bellamy just shrugged and tried not to clench the steering wheel any tighter.

“He’s got a paper due and he’ll be in the library all weekend,” Clarke paused before continuing. “And I haven’t really seen you or your mom in awhile so I thought this would be nice; two birds, one stone, kind of thing. Get Octavia off my back too.”

“What about O?”

“She’s been nagging me for not spending enough time with you,” Clarke shrugged her shoulders and looked back out the window.

“Why would she be mad that we aren’t spending time together? It’s not like we hung out that much before you came to New York.”

Clarke glanced at him, “I think it’s the whole not being here and wants to make sure everyone is okay without her.”

“So that’s why she called me last week and asked how you were. It was like she knew my response was going to be ‘I don’t know’ just so she could just yell at me.”

“That’s probably because she had just yelled at me. She mumbled something about having to call you when we hung up.”

Bellamy simply hummed in response and switched the station to one he knew Clarke would like and they drove for a little while in silence.

“So,” Clarke turned the radio down as a song transitioned to commercials. “Another part of my mission this weekend, given to me by O, is to ask how things are with you and Echo? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I know we don’t really talk about that stuff so I can just tell her I asked and you made a typical Bellamy remark and leave it at that.”

Clarke paused again thinking something through and he let her while he tried to decide if he wanted to say something. When Clarke seemed to make up her mind she turned to face him and he glanced at her before focusing on the road again.

“But you know, if you need to talk. I’m here to talk.”

Bellamy just nodded in response and focused on the road again. He couldn’t really tell her, about Echo. He didn’t want to tell Clarke how they both entered the relationship only wanting something physical, but lately Echo had been asking for more and he was trying to give her more. He had thought about inviting her to meet his mom before Clarke asked, but then he realized that was much more than what he was willing to give.

When he mentioned going home for his mom’s birthday she looked expectant, waiting for him to ask her to come with him, but he told her he didn’t get to spend much one on one time with his mom these days and just wanted it to be the two of them.

He hadn’t expected for Echo and her roommate to show up at his place just before he was leaving. He didn’t even think to tell her Clarke was coming, not that he would have. He could tell Echo didn’t like Clarke and couldn’t figure out why since the two girls were barely around each other, only meeting a few times in group settings over the last two months.

Bellamy knew he was screwed when he heard Clarke walk into the apartment like she did every other time. Her and Miller had this running joke where they always called out to each other when she came in. Thankfully, he wasn’t in the room when Clarke walked into the living room, but he could hear the awkwardness from his room and knew he couldn’t hide any longer.

Echo wanting to talk privately was unexpected. She normally just took her anger out at him in public or in bed, but he figured she didn’t want Clarke to hear them fighting about her. Although, it wasn’t really about Clarke, more about why Clarke was intruding on the one on one time with his mother that he had told her he wanted. So he was able to make up some excuse that Octavia had asked Clarke to go since O couldn’t go. Echo didn’t seem to really believe it, but it got her to stop whisper-yelling; even if she then decided to pull his shirt off and leave angry red marks on his chest and back while he kissed her goodbye.

Clarke’s phone beeped next to him bringing him back to the present and he glanced at her from the corner of his eye. She was grinning so wide like she had just read the funniest thing and he pulled his eyes forward again as she typed out a response and settled back into her seat.

Bellamy glanced at the side of the road and saw a sign for their exit in two miles and muttered _thank god_ to himself and ignored Clarke’s questioning look.

About ten minutes later, they had pulled off their exit and were slowly making their way through town. When they passed Clarke’s street, she slid lower in the seat like she had to hide from her mom and Bellamy snorted softly at her before she slapped his arm with her hand.

“Hey, what did I say about hitting the driver?” Without looking at her, Bellamy knew Clarke had rolled her eyes.

When they pulled into his driveway, he was happy to see his mom’s car already there and the door being opened as Aurora Blake stepped out onto the porch waving as he and Clarke climbed out of the car.

Clarke followed him up the familiar path and soon Aurora had thrown her arms around him and was hugging him tightly. When she let go, he stepped back so she could hug Clarke too.

“Clarke, what a surprise? I didn’t know you were coming down with Bellamy,” Aurora hugged her tight as Clarke raised an eyebrow at him over his mom’s shoulder. He just shrugged in response.

“I’m sorry. I thought Bellamy told you I was coming. I hope it’s okay?"

“Of course, its okay!” Aurora put one arm around Clarke’s shoulders and dragged her in the house telling Bellamy to grab their bags. He rolled his eyes; he had already planned on getting the bags, but his mother never believed him even though she’s the one who raised him.

After Bellamy dropped the bags off at the bottom of the stairs, he followed their voices into the kitchen and found Clarke already sitting at the table, while Aurora was making lunch for them.

Aurora was telling Clarke how the store was doing well and her employees had basically forced her to take the weekend off to celebrate her birthday properly. His mom ran her own candle shop and had recently branched out to include clothing and other things that were designed by her. Bellamy had seen everything last time he was home, but he didn’t think Clarke had been there recently.

“I was going to drop in after lunch, just to check on things. You two should come with me,” Aurora placed the food in front of them and smiled.

“Mom, didn’t you just say they told you to take the weekend off?” Bellamy began removing the tomatoes off his sandwich and dropped them on Clarke’s plate without thinking and took the onions that she dropped on his.

When Aurora didn’t answer, he glanced up to see a small smile on her face as she looked between the two of them before sitting down and leaning across the table towards them.

“Have you two start dating?” Aurora smiled looking between the two of them.

“What?” Bellamy chocked on the bite he had just taken.

“Aurora, we’re – we’re not dating,” Clarke said quietly turning red.

“Oh. I’m sorry. I – I just thought – I mean, Bellamy, you told me you were seeing someone and then Clarke came and I guess I just assumed. I’m sorry,” Aurora met his eyes and he could see the sorrow in them. She had always wanted Bellamy and Clarke to fall in love or something like that because she wanted Clarke to be apart of their family officially and it killed him to disappoint her.

“I am seeing someone and so is Clarke. Just not each other,” Bellamy smiled and covered his mom’s hand with his. “Maybe you’ll get to meet them both soon,” Bellamy gave her a reassuring smile and his mom nodded and they finished their lunch telling Aurora stories of what the gang had been up to the last few weeks.

An hour later, Bellamy was following Aurora and Clarke into the store and heard the bells signaling their entrance.

“Aurora, you need to have at least one day off. What are you doing here?” Vera Kane stepped out from the back of the store and hugged Aurora.

“I wanted to show the kids all the new stuff,” Aurora stepped back so Vera could see Clarke and Bellamy.

“Clarke! Look at you. Beautiful as ever,” Vera wrapped her arms around Clarke before moving on to Bellamy. “And Bellamy, still tall, dark, and handsome.”

“Ms. Kane,” Bellamy hugged her. His mom’s friend was always trying to embarrass him. Normally it was an inappropriate remark about his and Clarke’s children, especially if they arrived at the store at the same time. “How are you?”

“Good. But I’m glad you’re here. We could use your muscles. Come on,” Vera grabbed his hand and dragged him to the back; he could hear Clarke and his mom laughing behind him. Vera quickly put him to work moving boxes around shelves with a young girl, Mel, who worked in the store for the last year.

About a half hour later the back door opened quietly and Clarke made her way towards the ladder he was standing on attempting to bring a box full of seasonal candles down from last year for Mel. The girl could barely look him in the eyes and simply pointed to the boxes she needed and occasionally a please or thank you.

“Well, Vera is still as lovingly inappropriate as ever,” Clarke stood next to the ladder and took the box he was holding waiting for Mel to take it.

“Did she mention the kids yet?” Bellamy grinned at Clarke’s back when she started laughing.

“Of course. She said I would be treated like a queen in a house full of boys who had their father’s strength. I wouldn’t have to lift a single thing from the moment they were born.”

Bellamy scoffed, “Keep dreaming, princess.”

Mel squeaked and Clarke asked her if she was okay and she nodded and excused herself to use the restroom. Clarke looked to him with her eyebrows raised, “Is she always that quiet?”

“According to my mom, no, but every time I see her she barely utters a word and won’t look me in the eye,” Bellamy shrugged and reached for another box.

“Oh,” Clarke said quietly and Bellamy turned to look at her where she was grinning mischievously. “I see why now,” Clarke shrugged her shoulders and motioned for him to grab another box.

“Care to explain, princess?” Bellamy swore he heard another Mel like squeak from the door.

Clarke started to laugh as the door slammed shut and they were left alone again. Bellamy waited for her to stop and explain herself. It took a few minutes before she regained her breathing.

“I – I think you have an admirer,” Clarke began laughing again and Bellamy tried to ignore the warmth in his chest at her laughter. It was getting worse; these little moments.

Bellamy rolled his eyes and reached for another box, “Whatever you say, princess.”

“Seriously, Bell. It’s quite a show down here. I see why Mel can’t look you in the eye. She’s too busy looking else where.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Clarke?” Bellamy turned around so fast he almost fell off the ladder.

“Nothing. Just finish the boxes already. We’ve gotta head back to change for dinner.”

When he looked down at Clarke, he saw the faint blush on her cheeks and regretted that he was standing above her while she was wearing a V-neck t-shirt.

“Right. This is the last one. Just hold the ladder and I can bring it down,” Bellamy pulled his eyes away from her before she met his eyes and grabbed the last box and began making his way down. Clarke holds the ladder in place and quickly let go once both of his feet were on solid ground again.

He dropped the box next to the others and began to follow Clarke out to the front of the store where he could hear Vera and his mom talking about dinner plans.

“Yes, I promise I won’t come in the store tomorrow,” Aurora was saying.

“Okay because, Aurora, you deserve some time off. Now spend the night with your kids and tomorrow go out and dance up a storm for us old people who can’t do it anymore.”

“Vera, you’re not old,” Aurora said laughing.

“I can’t cut a rug like I use to,” Vera was shaking her head as Bellamy and Clarke came into view.

“What’s this about cutting up a rug?” Bellamy asked.

Vera gave him a big grin; “Your mom has a date tomorrow. Nice guy. He comes in all the time flirting with her. Handsome too.”

“Mom?”

“That’s so great, Aurora,” Clarke hugged her and Aurora simply met his gaze from over Clarke’s shoulder.

“We should get going if we’re going to make those reservations,” Aurora hugged Vera. “My son is taking me to that fancy new Italian place in Mount Weather.”

“Oooh, look at him – taking his mom and his girl out for a fancy dinner,” Vera hugged Clarke and whispered about grabbing her some breadsticks and Clarke laughed and promised to do her best before Vera grabbed him in a hug too.

Bellamy waited until they got outside the store before turning to his mom, “What guy?”

“Relax, Bellamy; its dinner and drinks. That’s all.”

“Who is he?” Clarke turned to Aurora from where she was walking next to her.

“Just a guy from two towns over. He’s nice. He came in looking for a candle for his sister and we started talking.”

“That’s so nice. Right, Bellamy?” Clarke glares at him over her shoulder. “Your mom is going out and having some fun.”

Bellamy grumbles about annoying princesses who don’t know anything and gets a glare from his mother as they climb into the car.

Since he did all the heavy lifting at the store, he takes a shower before getting dressed for dinner. When he comes out of his room he hears his mom and Clarke talking in the living room and makes his way downstairs.

“Where is he taking you?” Clarke is standing over the couch looking at a few dresses laid out, most still with tags on them.

“This place down by the beach. It’s still open and it’s got a bar right on the bay that you can eat at. Plus it’s going to be nice tomorrow.”

“Hmm,” Clarke scrunches her nose up in concentration and then points to a printed dress with little flowers on it. “I think this one. It’s dressy for a date without being too dressy for a bar.”

Aurora smiles and picks it up to look closer, “Are you sure? It’s not too light weight?”

Clarke smiles, “Just bring a light coat. It does get windy down by the bay.”

“Thanks, Clarke. I don’t know how you and Octavia do this.”

Clarke laughs, “Trust me, Octavia dressed me for like the first two months I was dating Wells. She wouldn’t let me out of the house until she approved. Which meant she had to get up at the crack of dawn to come pick out my clothes for school.”

Aurora laughs with her, “I wish she got her fashion sense from me. I’m completely hopeless at this.”

“Don’t worry. I am too. Raven tried to pick out my dress for tonight, but I had to put my foot down and reminded her it was a birthday dinner, not a club in the city.”

Aurora smiled and gathered the rest of the dresses up and turned to find Bellamy leaning against the wall watching them.

“Bell, you scared me.”

“Sorry, Mom. I didn’t think you wanted my opinion on fashion.”

Aurora moved past him and patted him on the arm before calling over her shoulder, “I only need about a half hour to get ready, kids. Then we can go.”

“Take your time, Aurora. It’s your birthday after all,” Clarke sat down on the couch where the dresses had been.

“Aren’t you going to get ready?” Bellamy moved to sit on the couch too, but kept space between them.

“I am ready. This isn’t appropriate for dinner?” Clarke looks down at her t-shirt and jeans with mock outrage.

“Whatever, princess,” Bellamy looks up at the stairs to make sure his mother’s door is closed and then turns back to Clarke. “You really shouldn’t encourage to go on this date. We don’t know anything about this guy. She won’t even tell me his name.”

Clarke gives him a blank look before rolling her eyes, “Don’t you ever just get tired, Bell?”

“Of what?”

“Of always being the one to take care of everyone.”

“What?”

“Your mom is an adult. A woman who raised two kids – on her own – and didn’t ask for any help. In the almost two decades that I have known her, I’ve seen her go on one date. And I wouldn’t even count that as a date since you were there and it was your little league coach.”

“That was a date?” Bellamy looks at her shocked.

“Yes, Bell. That was a date. And you crashed it. Let your mom have some fun. Or I will make the next ten years a living hell for you. Got it?” Clarke stands up and points a finger at him threateningly as she passes him to go upstairs.

Bellamy flops back against the couch and loosens his tie. Octavia is halfway across the country, his mom is going on a date, and Clarke is dating another prince charming. What is it with the woman in his life trying to send him into an early grave?

He leans his head back against the couch and flips the TV on because he knows when they say thirty minutes, its closer to an hour. Good thing he told them the reservation was for a half hour earlier than it actually was.

About forty minutes later, his mom is the first to appear, walking down the stairs. She’s wearing a simple black dress and her low heels, which she will still complain about being a pain, but she’s done her makeup and her hair like Octavia showed her and smiles when she sees him.

“Wow, Mom. You look beautiful,” Bellamy stands up and places a kiss on her cheek and hugs her.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” Aurora reaches up to fix his tie. “You look very handsome yourself. Did you pick this place just so you can show off in a tie.”

Bellamy grins and can feel his cheeks warming, “You caught me, Mom.”

“Nah,” Aurora places her hands on his shoulders. “I think it was just to see Clarke in a dress.” She smirks at him and then – his mom – winks at him.

Before he can even reply beyond the shocked expression, Clarke is already coming down the stairs, her heels in her hand. She’s wearing a cobalt (Octavia made him learn these things) blue dress that brings the blue in her eyes out and her heels are simple black ones without the pointy toes (again, Octavia) Her makeup looks natural, not as smokey as when they go out to clubs back at school, and no red lips – just pink ones.

“I hate these stupid things,” Clarke mutters as she stops to slip the heels onto her feet. “O made me buy them because in my other shoes, I’m still the shortest of the group – besides Monty – and she says that’s just sad.”

By the time Clarke is standing upright again, Bellamy has removed the shocked look on his face (because of what his mom said, not because Clarke looks beautiful – she does, but he’s not going to say that – to either of them.)

“Clarke, you look beautiful!” Of course his mother exclaims it, as she goes to hug Clarke, so now he’ll look like an ass for not saying something.

“You do,” Bellamy clears his throat. “Look nice, I mean.”

“Thanks. You do too – look nice,” Clarke smiles at him raising her eyebrows at him and makes a motion towards his tie which his mother had straightened for him again.

“Well, we should get going, then,” Bellamy grabs his keys and opens the door for them to walk out ahead of him. When Clarke passes him, he notices she is still a good couple of inches shorter than him and can’t help the smirk that crosses his face and Clarke smacks him in the stomach (not hard) as she passes and a grin on her face.

They get seated in a corner near the kitchen and Bellamy is about to argue with the hostess and ask for a better seat, but his mom just shakes her head and Clarke slips into a seat and says, “I love the corner tables. You get to watch everyone without looking rude because where else are you going to look.”

Bellamy rolls his eyes and knows for a fact that she likes window seats and that there is an empty window seat that could fit them, but when he looks to the table next to it has a young family with a toddler running around and the other table is two love sick teenagers making out.

It’s the kind of place where they only have five dinner options and the meals are too small for a normal person to be fulfilled, where the tables are too small for three adults and he spends half the night getting kicked in the shins by heels and being elbowed by Clarke.

But all that matters is his mom hasn’t stopped smiling since they sat down and he spends most of the night watching her and Clarke discussing trivial things. From art to music to his mom’s store and Clarke’s school. Occasionally, he gets pulled in, by a question from his mom or Clarke references him while telling a story. Most are from the previous year before Prince Charming and before Echo.

The night passes by quietly and when dessert comes around, Clarke whispers to him about singing to his mom, but Aurora wouldn’t like that – she’s not big on attention, plus he has a cake in the fridge for when they get home and he’ll force her to sit while they sing and call Octavia so she can join them.

And of course Clarke said she was too full for dessert (she must be use to eating at fancy places that have tiny meals) so Bellamy got the chocolate cake (which he hates) because he knew Clarke would be trying to sneak pieces from him anyway.

“So,” Aurora begins after Bellamy had called Clarke ‘princess’. “If Clarke is the princess, who are the others in her royal court, Bell?”

“I don’t know. Wouldn’t that be up to the princess to decide?” Bellamy pushes the plate closer to Clarke and looks up at his mother who is watching him push the plate closer to Clarke. “And knowing Clarke, she would probably make me her court jester.”

Clarke and his mom laugh, but Clarke shakes her head, “No. I think court jester would have to go to Jasper. He would probably kill me if I chose anyone else. Octavia would probably want to be a duchess, but in her own right – not because she married a duke. Raven would want to be in charge of inventions, but I’d probably make her a duchess too.”

“Monty would probably want to be in charge of the gardens, just so he could grow various herbs and other things,” Bellamy gives Clarke a pointed look and she laughs.

“You can say weed in front of your mother, Bellamy. I was a child of the sixties,” Aurora just shakes her head and sips her coffee.

“I don’t need to hear anymore,” Bellamy cuts her off before she can launch into a story and the two women laugh again.

“Miller would be the kingdom sheriff,” Clarke says when she stops laughing. “And you – you would probably be a knight – the protector of our little court of misfit delinquents.”

Bellamy turns to look at her and he can feel the blush on his cheeks, “Princess, when did you develop this little crush on me?”

“Shut it, Blake. I’ll take it back,” Clarke smacks his arm, but is laughing again so he just laughs with her.

“It’s so nice to see you two getting alone,” Aurora smiles at the two of them from across the table and Bellamy just gives his mom a small smile before the waitress drops off the check.

He reaches for it before his mom can. Even though he planned the whole night, he wouldn’t put is past his mom to try and pay for it and he isn’t surprised to see Aurora’s hand twitch to reach for it before he gets to it.

Bellamy reaches into his pocket and starts pulling out the cash he has from tips and work. Clarke leans over his shoulder to get a look at the bill and he pulls away from her.

“How much do I owe you?” Clarke asks pulling her own wallet out.

“I said I was paying.”

“I invited myself. Let me at least pay for myself.”

“Not a chance, princess,” Bellamy squishes the correct change in and extra for a tip, but doesn’t take the bill out that has the waitress’s number on it. He’s use to this and he’s discovered that it’s a lot safer to leave it behind so she doesn’t get her hopes up thinking he’s going to call.

“Come on, Bellamy. Let me at least pay the tip.”

“Nope. Let’s go get Mom’s ice cream. You can pay for that.”

Clarke rolls her eyes, but doesn’t comment that three ice creams are a lot less than her meal was and he steps back to allow the two to pass him.

“I’m going to stop in the bathroom before we leave. I’ll meet you out front,” Aurora points over her shoulder towards the bathroom and Bellamy nods and turns to follow Clarke out of the restaurant.

They’re about halfway towards the front door when Clarke comes to a complete stop and Bellamy almost walks into her.

“Shit, shit. Shit,” Clarke mutters under her breath starting at the window at the front of the store. Bellamy looks up to see Abby Griffin crossing the street towards the restaurant with a dark haired man and the two are smiling and laughing.

“What do you want to do, princess?”

“I have to hide. She’ll be so pissed if I’m here,” Clarke turns to him with wide eyes and Bellamy glances around before he notices a closed door next to them. It only says employees only so it’s safe to assume it’s probably a closet and one twist of the doorknob and it pops open easily. He grabs Clarke’s arms and guides her towards the door and shuts it just as the door chimes at the front signaling her mother’s entrance.

Bellamy stands in front of the door and leans against it, but one glance to the front of the restaurant and he knows Abby has seen him. She says something quietly to the man she’s with and then makes her way across the restaurant towards him.

“Bellamy?”

“Dr. Griffin, nice to see you again.”

“You too. Why aren’t you in New York?” Her eyebrows draw down in confusion and she looks remarkably like Clarke when she does that.

“It’s my mom’s birthday so I came down to take her out to dinner.”

“Abby,” Aurora comes to stand next to him.

“Happy birthday, Aurora.”

“Thank you,” Aurora turns to glance at Bellamy. “I thought we were meeting out front.”

Bellamy just shrugs and says he waited here instead.

“Bellamy?” Bellamy turns to look at Abby again and he knows she wants to ask about Clarke and is trying to think of how.

“Yes, Dr. Griffin?”

“How is Clarke? Have you seen her recently?” Bellamy can feel his mom’s eyes on him.

“Occasionally. She’s been really busy with school and her new boyfriend.”

“Oh. I wasn’t aware she was dating,” Abby glances towards the back of the restaurant where the man she came with is waiting for her.

“They’ve only been together about a month or two. She hasn’t really let anyone meet him,” Bellamy pauses before continuing. “I only have because I was with her when they met. He seems like a nice guy – like Wells.”

Abby gives him a tight smile, “Thank you, Bellamy. Would you ask her to give me a call when she gets a chance?”

Bellamy nods and Abby says goodbye to Aurora and walks towards the man, who must be her date.

When she’s out of earshot, his mom turns on him, “Please tell me, Clarke isn’t hiding in the closet from her mother.”

“Clarke isn’t hiding in a closet from her mother,” Bellamy smiles at his mom. “Why don’t you go outside and I’ll catch up with you?”

Aurora rolls her eyes and starts walking towards the front of the restaurant. Bellamy turns to watch Abby and her date go around a corner before he opens the door and pulls Clarke back out. He pushes her in front of him with his hands on her upper arms and uses his body to hide hers just in case her mother comes back around the corner. They get a few glances from people sitting near the table, but they don’t say anything as they follow Aurora out of the restaurant.

Once their outside, Aurora turns on them, “I don’t like lying to your mother, Clarke. I thought you said she was out of town and that’s why you weren’t going to see her.”

Clarke’s shoulder slump and her voice is small, “We haven’t been getting along since I decided on a major.”

“And why would that be a problem?” Aurora asks as she opens the passenger door to Bellamy’s car.

“Because it’s not pre-med,” Clarke slides into the backseat and Bellamy starts the car.

“Oh,” Aurora glances at him before turning back to Clarke. “And what is it?”

“Pre-law. Well, political science, specifically.”

Aurora smiles wide, “That’s great, Clarke. A great choice. Your father would be proud.”

Clarke smiles shyly at Aurora and Bellamy knows that’s the one thing Clarke had wanted her mother to understand. Clarke couldn’t follow in her mother’s steps after the accident, but it was more about wanting to keep a piece of her father with her and she could as a lawyer. She could follow in his steps into the law. Although, he doubted she would go into patent law and work with engineers like Jake Griffin did.

Later that night, Bellamy sits on the couch in the living room flipping through channels with the TV on mute, his mother has always been a light sleeper and he doesn’t want to wake her. The bottom stair squeaks and he turns to see if he did wake her, but instead its Clarke walking down in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt from their high school’s battle of the classes with “Senior” written across her chest and her last name on her back.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Clarke says quietly sitting down next to him on the couch and pulling her legs underneath her.

“Yeah. Did I wake you?”

“No. Couldn’t sleep either.”

“Why not?”

“Thinking too loud,” Clarke gives him a small smile and Bellamy nods.

“Speaking of thinking. I’ve been thinking about tomorrow.”

“We can stay here,” Clarke turns her blue eyes on him seriously. “But on one condition.”

Bellamy meets her gaze, “And what is that, princess?”

“You’re not here when your mother’s date picks her up. We’ll go out to dinner or something. You can pick the place and it’s on me, but you’re not going to interrogate the guy like you did to Atom Senior year of high school when he picked Octavia up.”

“I didn’t interrogate him,” Bellamy scoffs.

“Really? You and Miller just show up on a weekend and spend the entire night on the porch with nothing to do until he shows up?”

Bellamy scoffs again and opens his mouth to deny it, but Clarke gives him her no-nonsense look.

“I know you, Bell. You’re going to interrogate the guy and the entire night is going to be awkward for your mom. So we’re going to go out – wherever you want – and we’ll be here when she gets back and you can wait for her then. I know you have this inability to not be so overprotective, but you’ve got to give your mom some breathing room. She’s an adult.”

Bellamy rolls his eyes and is about to tell her that he does have to ability to no be so overprotective, he just choose not to before he finds Clarke’s hand over his mouth.

“Don’t argue with me. You know I’m right.”

“You wish, princess,” he mumbles against her hand while trying to pry it from his face. She gives up too easily and he knows she has a counterargument to whatever he is going to say so it’s not worth fighting with her.

“Listen, Bell. You’re winning. We can stay another day, but you have to give your mom some room. This is my compromise with you. Take it or I will drag your ass into that car right now and we’ll leave and don’t think I can’t,” Clarke crossed her arms over her chest and stares him down.

“Fine, whatever you say, princess,” Bellamy continues flipping through channels until she grabs the remote.

“Wait, stop. I love that show.”

“What?” Bellamy watched as the scene opened onto five teenagers sitting in a basement wearing crappy 70s style clothing and talking. Clarke turned the volume up from mute, but still low enough not to wake Aurora up and he hears the sounds of a laugh track. “What is this?”

“That ‘70s Show,” Clarke slides down so she’s more comfortable on the couch and her knee is pushed against his thigh.

“You do realize there was more than one show on during the ‘70s?” Bellamy rolls his eyes before Clarke smacks his arm.

“It’s not a show that aired during the ‘70s. It’s a show that aired a few years ago. It’s called That ‘70s Show because it’s about five kids who grew up during the ‘70s in Wisconsin or something like that.”

After a few minutes, Bellamy groans, “You like this? I don’t understand what’s going on at all? Why are they sitting in a circle like that?”

“They’re getting high, Bellamy,” Clarke laughs quietly. “Just watch. It will get good.”

Before the first episode has finished, Clarke’s head falls onto his shoulder and he could hear her breathing even out. He looked down to see her eyes closed and all the lines smoothed out.

“Do you want any vegetables in your omelet, princess?” Bellamy asks the next morning to a still sleeping Clarke who has her head on the kitchen table and an untouched cup of coffee next to her arm.

“What vegetables do you have?” Clarke doesn’t move her head so it comes out muffled.

“Drink your coffee and talk like a normal person, princess. And there are all the basics. No olives though.”

“Everything, but tomatoes and cheese, please,” Clarke finally picks her head up and takes a sip of the coffee.

“No cheese, really?” Bellamy shakes his head and begins chopping vegetables to make breakfast for her and his mom as Aurora comes into the house from the backyard.

“You kids finally up?”

“Mom, it’s 9 am. What do you mean finally?”

Clarke grumbles something unintelligibly and Aurora pats her head that’s back on the table.

“Is she usually like this?”

“Usually,” Bellamy turns back to the stove. “Except when she drinks. She’s up at like 6 and wide awake those days.”

“I’m right here,” Clarke’s head pops back up and glares at him.

“You’re barely conscious, princess. I don’t consider that actually here.”

“What time are you guys leaving today?” Aurora pours herself some coffee and sits next to Clarke.

“We’re not,” Bellamy ignores the look his mother is giving him.

“Clarke?” Aurora turns to her after Bellamy ignores her for long enough.

“We won’t be here, Aurora. I’m making him leave the house before your date comes, but he’ll still be close enough so he can be annoyingly overprotective from afar, but still close by in case you need him – not that you will – but just for his sanity. And mine since I’d be the one stuck with him.”

“Oh,” Aurora takes a sip of her coffee to hide the small smile. “That’s okay, I guess. Then you can help me get ready, Clarke.”

“Exactly. My real reason for staying,” Clarke smiles at her and shoots a glare at Bellamy who just shrugs in response.

Bellamy spends the rest of the day fixing things around the house that he knows is broken, but his mom won’t tell him about and just deal with it until its unfixable. Aurora and Clarke spend the day at a small spa a few towns over, Clarke’s treat for Aurora’s birthday and possibly to help her relax before her date tonight.

When the two women get back, Aurora is on the phone with Octavia gushing about the spa and promising to call tomorrow and tell her all about her date. Clarke comes and sits on the counter next to where he’s fixing the sink.

“So did you figure out what we’re doing tonight?”

Bellamy tests the faucet again, “Uh. No.”

“We’re going out. We’re not staying here.”

“I won’t say or do anything to this guy. I’ll just stand there and that’s it,” he bends down to the pipes underneath again.

“Nope. Not happening. We’re going out. And you’re going to suck it up. We’ll go to Grounders and see Nyko so you can get drunk. How’s that?”

“Princess-“

Clarke cuts him off, “This is the deal we made. I can drag you back to New York now if you want. I know how much you love that hair of yours and it’s long enough again for me to use to drag you out,” he can’t see Clarke, but he knows she’s raising an eyebrow at him warning him to contradict her.

“Fine,” he muttered.

Clarke almost dragged him out of the house a few hours later. After she had finished helping his mom get ready she quickly changed and didn’t give him much warning before she forced him out of the house. In Bellamy’s surprise he didn’t even get to say goodbye to his mom or anything.

When they showed up at Grounders, the local bar was practically empty considering it was only six in the afternoon.

“See, no one here. We should have just stayed at the house.”

“Bell, we could have gone anywhere you wanted. You’re the one who refused to decide what you wanted to do so we’re here. Next time, suck it up and pick somewhere. Now, I need a drink.”

Bellamy sighed and followed Clarke to the bar when Nyko was cleaning glasses.

“Well, well, well. Look who decided to drop in for a visit? I hear you’re in town and you can’t even come visit your favorite bartender?” Nyko chuckled before grabbing two beers for them.

“How did you hear we we’re in town? It’s not like we’ve been anywhere,” Clarke smiled as she took a sip of her beer.

“I have my way, Miss Griffin,” Nyko started laughing and Clarke joined him while Bellamy just glanced towards the door calculating how quick he could get to the door before Clarke noticed.

“You could probably out run me, but you’re forgetting one very important thing. I have your keys.”

“Wh-,” Bellamy started going through his pockets and after coming up empty, “How?”

“I have my ways,” Clarke smirked at him and Nyko laughed.

“Should I be offended that he’s only been here for two minutes and he already wants to leave?” Nyko asked.

“No. His mom has a date tonight. He’s picking her up about now so I made Bellamy leave the house.”

“Oh. Good for Mama Blake. She deserves some fun. Especially after dealing with this one,” Nyko nodded his head towards Bellamy.

“Standing right here,” Bellamy turned his back to the door and sat on the stool next to Clarke.

“I know,” Nyko grinned at him before turning towards another customer.

“Relax, Bell. We’re ten minutes from your house. If something happens, we’re right here and she’ll call.”

“Whatever,” he mumbled as he finished his beer. “If you have the keys, then I’m going to need something stronger.”

Nyko pours him a shot of whiskey and Clarke declines saying she’s driving them. Bellamy spends the rest of the night alternating between taking shots of whiskey and drinking beers. Sometime around nine, he realized he should have slowed down or better yet stopped. He can hold his liquor better than most guys, but he wasn’t really trying to stop himself.

Bellamy had wandered away from the bar and had been playing pool with some girls when he noticed Clarke, who had been sitting at the end of the bar talking with Nyko most of the night and nursing a soda, was no longer sitting alone. A guy who was a few decades older than him was sitting next to her and too close for Clarke – or Bellamy’s – liking. Bellamy couldn’t even remember what he said to the two girls before he left the pool area and headed down the few stairs and across the bar.

The guy sitting with Clarke was smoking one of those pretentious electric cigarettes and was mostly blowing the smoke right at Clarke, who kept waving it out of her face, but asshole was not getting the hint. Bellamy came up behind him just to hear the cheesiest pick up line ever.

“You know, smoke follows beauty, baby?”

When Bellamy was standing behind the guy, he could clearly see the guy’s hand on Clarke’s thigh and Clarke trying to stand up, but he was pushing her back into her seat.

“Hey, asshole. You’re sitting in my seat,” Bellamy grabbed his arm and pulled him away from Clarke.

“Get lost, kid,” Asshole said.

Bellamy maneuvered himself to stand next to Clarke and towering over the guy. He may have had a few years on Bellamy, but it was clear he had no strength.

“Bell,” Clarke warned quietly. “Let’s go.”

“Aw, come on, baby. Where you going?”

“With me, asshole,” Bellamy could feel his nails digging into his palms as he squeezed his hands into fists.

“Really? This kid. A pretty girl like you; can do so much better than some loser.”

Bellamy snapped and was about to grab the guy and throw him against the wall, but Clarke’s arm snapped out and punched the guy right in the nose.

“Oh, shit. You bitch!” Asshole grabbed his face from where he was sprawled out on the floor after falling off his bar stool. “You better get your bitch under control,” Asshole looked at Bellamy.

“Why? I taught her that,” Bellamy reached down and grabbed his collar and pulled him to his feet. The guy was so small that Bellamy literally pulled him onto his feet. “Now; you’re going to apologize for calling her that and then you’re going to leave and never come back here.”

“You can’t do that. You’re just some loser from the wrong side of the tracks whose girlfriend is slumming it with.”

Bellamy’s knuckles tightened over his hold on the guy’s collar.

“Says the forty year old man hitting on twenty-somethings in a small town bar,” Clarke stepped closer to the guy, but Bellamy grabbed her arm with one of his to hold her back before this creep did anything else to her.

“Whatever. You can’t do anything, either, bitch.”

“Nah, but I can. Get out of my bar and if I ever see you back in here again, you’re going to get a lot worse than getting knocked out by a girl,” Nyko was standing on the other side of the bar with his arms crossed over his large chest, his tattoos on display, and scowling at Asshole.

“Fine. I’ll take my business elsewhere and I’ll make sure no one ever comes back here again.”

Nyko laughed, “Good luck with that.”

Bellamy dropped him and he stumbled as he found his footing and backed towards the door. Bellamy watched him continue out the door before turning back to Clarke.

“You okay, Clarke?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. I was handling that. I didn’t need you to come storming over here acting like a caveman.”

“Really? You’re going to argue with me for keeping you safe?”

“Clarke,” Nyko interrupted. “Let me see your hand.”

Clarke turned away from Bellamy and Nyko had a rag filled with ice and was placing it over Clarke’s bloodied knuckles.

“Shit, Clarke,” Bellamy took the ice from Nyko and pressed them against her knuckles as she winched. “Sorry.”

Clarke just shrugged and took the ice from him before adjusting it over her knuckles, “I’ll be fine.”

“I know, princess. I was apologizing for acting like a caveman as you eloquently put it. You’re right; you can take care of yourself. I should know; I taught you that right hook.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “You tried. My dad ended up teaching O and me because you got freaked out halfway through because you didn’t want us having to defend ourselves. You really thought you could be around the two of us twenty-four seven to protect us. Well you can’t, Bell. You have to let us learn to protect ourselves.”

Bellamy stared intently at the ice on her hand not wanting to meet her eyes. His vision was blurring (from the alcohol – nothing else) and he just had to clear it before he could look at her.

“Bell,” Clarke said softly. “I get it. You have this insane overprotectiveness streak and it’s not just for your little sister or your mom; it extends to everyone you lo – care about. It’s okay, but you need to learn when to step back and allow everyone to take care of themselves too.”

“Yeah, okay,” Bellamy tried to be discreet at wiping his face. He knew in his drunken fuddled mind that Clarke was right. He was way too overprotective of his family and his friends, but he didn’t know any other way. If he could keep them safe, he would always keep them safe, but he figured he would just have to be less _obvious_ about keeping them safe.

“Bell? Are you crying?” Clarke whispered.

“What? No. I think I drank some Jack Daniels at some point. It’s probably just the alcohol,” he started looking around the bar avoiding Clarke’s eyes.

“Okay. Why don’t we go home then? Your mom should be back soon too.”

“Yeah,” Bellamy cleared his throat and looked around. “Yeah, sounds good. Let’s go.”

They didn’t make it home without another fight. Bellamy tried to tell Clarke he was good to drive, but after a few minutes of her blue eyes on him, he finally relented and told her she could drive his car, but if she put one scratch on it or any wear on his brakes, she would never drive it again. Clarke just laughed at him and didn’t bother to argue with him the rest of the way home.

Bellamy didn’t really remember how they got home or how he ended up on the couch in the living room or more importantly how he ended up with his head in Clarke’s lap and an arm wrapped around her waist with his face pressed into her stomach.

He was about to move or get up when he felt her fingers moving through his hair and he froze. It only took a few minutes for him to even out his breathing so Clarke wouldn’t know he was awake.

That was when he heard the soft giggle.

“He did that, really?” Clarke was asking quietly.

“Yes. It was so sweet. I couldn’t stop smiling,” Aurora’s voice softly responded. His mom was home and safe from her date. If he wasn’t faking sleep, then he would have taken a deep breath of relief.

“I’m glad. He sounds like a great guy. I’m happy for you,” Clarke whispers back after the giggling stopped.

“How was he?”

“He was Bellamy. He got drunk and then almost punched a guy for hitting on me.”

Aurora laughed softly, “He always shows how he cares in the most ridiculous ways.”

“I’m use to it,” Clarke must have shrugged. “It’s been a few years now. I know how he acts.”

“And you’re still here.”

Clarke laughed quietly, “Where else would I be?”

Bellamy never heard the rest of their conversation. The alcohol finally won the battle against his curiosity and he woke the next morning cramped on the couch hearing laughter from the kitchen. He groaned as he rolled off the couch and onto his feet. His head was pounding and his mouth felt like cotton. _God damn, Jack Daniels_ , he swore he was never going to drink it again.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty,” Clarke was sitting in the kitchen with his mom drinking coffee.

“Not. A. Word.”

“Here, sweetie,” Aurora placed a plate of eggs and greasy bacon in front of him as Clarke slid her cup of coffee over towards him. He grumbled a thanks before eating half the breakfast without taking a breath.

“Slow down there, Bell. It’s not going to disappear on you.”

Bellamy just shot Clarke a glare before finishing the food.

It wasn’t long before Bellamy and Clarke were saying goodbye to Aurora and promising to call when they got back to the City. Not long after that when Bellamy made a rude comment about Prince Charming and the two were arguing again and not speaking by the time they made it back to Clarke’s apartment building. Bellamy dropped her off and waited for her to make it into the building before pulling away from the curb. A block later he saw her phone light up in between the two seats where it was charging and back he went to deliver the phone.

“Of course, the damn princess would leave her phone,” Bellamy mutters to himself as he continues up the stairs to Clarke and Raven’s apartment. He’s just started on the last flight of stairs and is halfway between the landing for the third floor and the landing from around the corner when someone plows into him. It takes him a moment to realize its Clarke and another moment to realize she’s crying.

“Clarke? What’s wrong? What happened?” He grabs her shoulders and tries to pull her back, but her arms are wrapped around his waist and holding on tight.

“Bell. Can I stay at your place the rest of the weekend?” Clarke’s voice is so small that it scares him.

“Of course, princess. What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing.” Clarke glances behind her towards the half open door of her apartment.

“Okay. It’s okay. Just stay here. I’m going to get your bag.”

Clarke can see the tension in him and knows he knows something is wrong. He pulls away from her and almost runs to the door. His longer legs allow him to outpace Clarke and he reaches the door before she can stop him.

“Bell. Wait. Please?” She’s almost begging, but he knows something is wrong to turn Clarke into the small crying girl that he’s never seen before – not even when her dad died.

Bellamy pushes the door open to see the douchebag of all douchebags standing in Clarke’s living room. He’s wearing long shorts and a t-shirt with his stupid long hair hanging in his face. Raven is standing next to him asking him something when Bellamy walks in, but she looks up at him when he pushes the door.

“Bellamy? Where’s Clarke? She ran out of here really fast saying something about her phone,” Raven takes a step closer to him.

“Yeah. She left her phone in my car I was on my way to give it to her,” Bellamy’s eyes don’t leave Finn and Finn knows. He knows that Clarke and Raven are friends – roommates – and he still did this because he doesn’t look confused, not even sorry.

“I was trying to introduce her to my boyfriend, Finn. Finn this is Bellamy. He and Clarke grew up together,” Raven looks to Finn.

“We’ve met before,” Bellamy responds before he can stop himself.

“Bell?” Clarke is behind him and he can still hear the sadness in her voice even if she stayed outside until she could compose herself so she wouldn’t give anything away to Raven. “Can we go?”

“What do you mean, you’ve met before?” Raven ignores Clarke and stares him down.

“We met a few months ago. Actually, the same day he and Clarke met.”

“Bell? Please?” Clarke moves behind him and tries to grab his arm, but he steps out of her reach.

“Bellamy,” Finn warns and that decides it for Bellamy.

“When did he and Clarke meet?” Raven asks and one look tells him she knows, but he needs to confirm it for her.

“Before they started dating. He’s been at NYU this whole time. Not a third world country saving the lives of children or whatever shit he’s been feeding you,” Bellamy turns back to Finn and narrows his eyes at him. 

What he really wants to do is punch him, but he knows Clarke is already going to hate him for telling Raven, but he has to because she won’t and she’ll spend forever feeling guilty for something that wasn’t her mistake and sit back and watch this douchebag and Raven be happy while she’s miserable. So he has to – even if he loses her forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... a one more thing (I swear I'll eventually stop writing looooong notes):
> 
> This universe has pretty much overtaken my life so much that I keep coming up with different "stories" to add. Most of them don't really carry the plot of this story much so I've decided to make a collection and add these extra stories as bonus one shots that will take place in the same universe, but not really important to the plot. Since they take place at various times (yes, I already have outlines for all of them) I'm not going to post them until that point in the story has passed (read: no spoilers) or the end of the story because some of them start at one point, but flash forward to the end and we all know where this is going, but I don't want to spoil it for you anyway.
> 
> Thanks again for reading!
> 
> Next time... Clarke deals with the fallout of Finn.


	8. I'll Be There For You, 'Cause You're There For Me Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finncident part 2
> 
> Chapter title is from "I'll Be There For You" by The Remberants also known as the Friends theme song.. which I may or may not have been binge watching while writing most of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the words of Octavia, WE'RE BACK BITCHES!
> 
> So sorry for such a long wait. I had finals and then I had writer's block and today I decided to read what I had already written and how to wrap it up and somehow it just hit me and was perfect I think.
> 
> Wow. I loved all of your comments to the last chapter. I am so glad so many of you loved Aurora as much as I did. I think that chapter was probably one of the most important chapters in Bellamy and Clarke's relationship and Aurora was a big part of it. So thank you all again.
> 
> I'm hoping to not take any more long breaks. School is done, but I start my internship tomorrow and I don't know what life is going to be like this summer. I just know next fall is going to be the death of me (I'm telling you kids, law school is only fun if you absolutely enjoy having no life outside of the library or your books), but it's my last one so I've got a lot riding on it.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!

Clarke should have realized without any buffers her and Bellamy would get right back to what they always did – argue and fight and push each other’s buttons forever.

Raven is going to be pissed that she’s back early, but she just needs to grab a change of clothes and then she’ll head over to Monty and Jasper’s and spend the rest of the weekend on their couch being miserable.

“Hey, Raven! I’m sorry I’m home early. Bellamy was being the biggest jackass ever, as usual. I’m just going to grab some things and then be out of your hair,” Clarke calls into the apartment as she opens the door and drops her bag by it.

She starts digging around for her cell phone so she can text the guys and see if she can crash there. They’ll probably say yes, but she still has to ask. And of course she left her phone charging in Bellamy’s car because she forgot her charger at home.

“Damn it,” she mutters under her breath and starts walking into the living room and then stops cold because Finn is standing in her living room and he’s suppose to be in the library. He told her he was in the library when she texted him in the car on the way home.

“Clarke -“ Finn starts, but Raven walks into the room cutting him off.

“On a scale of 1 to the Epic Jackass that Bellamy Blake is, where did he fall this time?” Raven smiles at her.

“What?” Clarke looks to her shocked and confused.

“Bellamy. You said he was being a jackass? Oh, Clarke. This is my boyfriend, Finn Collins. Finn, this is Clarke. I’ve told you about her,” Raven looks between the two hopeful that Clarke and her only other friend from high school would become friends. Clarke knows because she told her she was looking forward to introducing the two, if her and Spacewalker got back together. Spacewalker – that’s what they always called him. How could she be so stupid to never ask what his name was?

“Clarke –“ Finn starts again, but Clarke cuts him off.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m so sorry for interrupting. I left my phone in the car. I should go get it. Have a good weekend!” Clarke can tell her voice is higher pitched than normal as she runs out of the room, but Raven can’t know.

She hurries down the hall blinking furiously to stop the tears from falling and crashes into something – or someone hard.

“Clarke? What’s wrong? What happened?” Clarke can hear Bellamy and he’s trying to loosen her grip on him, but once she realized it was him, she didn’t want to let go.

She asks if she can stay at his place and barely hears his answer – which she knew he would say yes – because she’s too busy looking down the hall to make sure Raven or Finn don’t follow her. Bellamy asks her another question, probably what’s wrong and she tells him nothing, but then he’s pulling her away from him and walking towards the door.

She sees his jaw locked and his shoulders are tense and his back rigid and he knows. He tells her something about getting her bag, but she doesn’t need it so he doesn’t need to get it. He’s going to see what’s going on and he can’t – he can’t go in there because he’ll know too and he’ll hate her for being so stupid and falling for Finn so easily.

Clarke calls out to him again, practically begging him to stop, but he doesn’t and she has to pull herself together because if he goes in there it’s not going to end well at all. She’s standing outside the door when she hears Raven ask about her and Bellamy answers about her phone, but when Raven introduces Bellamy to Finn and he says that they’ve met before, she steps into the door and tries to stay strong so Raven won’t know. She can’t lose Raven, besides for Octavia, Raven is her best friend and she doesn’t want to lose her.

Clarke asks Bellamy if they can leave, but Raven ignores her and asks Bellamy all the questions that need to be answered.

And then Bellamy says it. He tells Raven that Finn has been dating Clarke and has been at NYU for the last year and however many months. Clarke watches as Raven’s face closes off and she locks down and crosses her arms over her chest as she glares at Bellamy.

“Raven,” Clarke steps into the room and stands next to Bellamy. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I swear I didn’t –“

“Clarke, you should leave,” Raven cuts her off and her glare switches from Bellamy to Clarke and Clarke is sputtering trying to get her to understand that she didn’t know, she would never do that to Raven.

“Raven,” Clarke starts again, but Bellamy, who has been staring down Finn, takes two large steps until he’s right in front of Finn and towering over him. Clarke can see he’s vibrating with anger and Clarke has only ever seen him once like this when some guy grabbed Octavia at Grounders when they were 16.

Clarke realizes something exchanged between Bellamy and Finn while Clarke and Raven were looking at each other, but she doesn’t see it and reaches forward and grabs his arm and squeezes, “Let’s go, Bellamy. Please.”

Bellamy relaxes physically, but Clarke catches his expression and its murderous, glaring daggers at Finn so Clarke decides to pull him out of the apartment. She breaks down again on the stairs and Bellamy pulls her towards him.

She doesn’t really remember how they got to his apartment, but the tears have stopped and she’s wrapped up in her favorite blanket on their couch. She can hear Miller and Bellamy talking quietly in the kitchen and the door opens and Monty and Jasper come spilling in asking what happened. She tunes them out not wanting to hear it all again.

Clarke sits there in stunned silence, not knowing what happened or how she can fix it. She’s almost certain Raven hates her now and she doesn’t really want to spend the rest of the semester walking on eggshells around her. Jasper and Monty will most likely let her crash with them. Bellamy and Miller would probably let her too, but she knows it will cause problems with Bellamy and Echo so she won’t even ask or think about it. She would never ask anyway.

The longer she sits there, the angrier she gets. Not only at her own stupidity, but at Finn’s for doing that to Raven and making her a part of it because now she’s lost a good friend.

Her phone begins ringing and she recognizes the song “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls. It’s the song Raven chose for her ringtone (which seems really ironic now) and the guys in the next room know it because they come spilling out of the kitchen to watch her.

Clarke dashes across to reach the phone on the coffee table in front of her and picks it up before it can go to voicemail.

“Raven?” Clarke asks quietly.

“I’m so sorry, Clarke. I’m so sorry that he’s an idiot and he did that to you and,” Raven hiccups and Clarke realizes she’s crying.

“No, Raven. It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I’m sorry I should have realized –“

“No, Clarke. You don’t get to take the blame here. He is an asshole and he hurt us both. I – I just needed to hear his side and I did and I’m done with him. Will you please come home?” Raven is really crying now and Clarke has never seen Raven – who is normally so strong – sound so weak.

“I’m on my way, Raven,” Clarke throws the blanket off her shoulders and begins sliding her shoes on as she hangs up the phone.

“What are you doing?” Bellamy is standing in front of her.

“I have to go check on Raven. She doesn’t sound good.”

“She threw you out of your apartment. You’re not going over there alone. What if he’s still there?”

“She said she was done with him and asked me to come home,” Clarke sighs and looks at him. “I know you’re worried about me, but I need to go home and face what happened. I need to make sure we don’t lose Raven as a friend. She’s too important to our little group – too important to me.”

She stands up on her toes and places a kiss on Bellamy’s cheek. “Thank you,” she whispers as she heads towards the door. She doesn’t get far before Bellamy’s behind her.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m coming with you. To make sure Prince Charming isn’t hanging out around the building.”

Clarke starts to argue, but sees the set of his shoulders and knows she won’t win, “Fine.”

It doesn’t take them long to get back to her apartment and Bellamy only walks her to the door and waits until she closes it behind her.

“Raven?” Clarke calls out quietly and can hear her sniffle from the living room.

“In here.”

Clarke follows her voice and finds her sitting, much like she was, wrapped in a blanket on the couch.

“I’m so –“

Raven cuts her off with a glare, “If you apologize one more time, I will beat you. We are done apologizing and crying over that douchebag, as Bellamy likes to call him. We are going to get drunk now and then we are going to move on.”

Clarke nods her head and moves to join Raven under the blanket.

“You know he’s never going to let us live it down,” Clarke says after a minute.

“Who? Finn?”

“No,” Clarke shakes her head and sighs. “Bellamy. He’s going to say ‘I knew he was a douchebag from the beginning. If you only listened to me.’”

Raven smiles sadly, “Then we’ll kick his ass every time he mentions it.”

Clarke doesn’t know how long they sit there until there is a knock on the door and it swings open. Bellamy and Monty walk in and head straight for the kitchen with their arms full of stuff. Clarke and Raven exchange a look and follow them into the kitchen.

Bellamy is unpacking bottles of tequila, rum, wine, and beer and placing the beer in the fridge. While Monty begins unpacking chips, cookies, and ice cream without looking at either one of them.

“What are you doing?” Clarke asks as Monty hugs them both softly.

“O’s care package. She said you needed all of this stuff and that she’ll FaceTime you in about an hour to have girl time,” Bellamy finishes and crosses his arms over his chest. His eyes trace over her face silently ask her if she’s okay so she nods and smiles back at him before he looks at Raven, who nods to him and grabs a bottle of tequila.

“Don’t get too shitfaced because tomorrow the guys and I are taking you two out to do whatever the hell you want and I don’t want to deal with two hangovers on top of…” Bellamy trails off, but its obvious he meant ‘two heartbreaks’ or maybe Clarke just knows him too well.

“Alright,” Bellamy rubs his hands together. “Miller and Jasper will be by in a few hours to make sure you’re alive and bring you pizza and Chinese. Let’s go, Monty.”

Monty hugs them both again and Raven walks him to the door leaving Bellamy and Clarke alone in the kitchen. Bellamy takes two steps towards her and wraps his arms around her tight and she hugs him back just as tight.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah,” Clarke mumbles into his shirt. “Thanks for all of this.”

“Anytime, princess,” Bellamy kisses the top of her head and follows Monty out of the apartment where he places a hand on Raven’s arm and offers her a smile.

\----

“Okay, okay. I know I am just really drunk, but I need to say this,” Raven is wrapped in another blanket sitting on the floor next to Clarke who is wrapped in the blanket Raven had when she came home and they have pillows and blankets on the floor around them.

“ _Oh, god. Never FaceTime with two drunk people!_ ” Octavia’s voice yells from Clarke’s laptop where she has been drinking with them from the other side of the country, but Clarke suspects she stopped awhile ago and has since sobered up.

“Shhh, O! Let the woman speak,” Clarke yells at her.

“Boys… Are stupid,” Raven finishes very anticlimactically and Clarke starts laughing so hard tears are running down her face and she’s clutching her sides trying to breathe.

“ _Eloquently put, Raven,_ ” Octavia rolls her eyes through the computer.

“No, no. There’s more. Okay,” Raven takes a deep breath before continuing. “I never really had any friends in high school – besides Finn. Most of the other girls at my school looked down on me because y’know – my mom and everything. But I showed them all when I was the only one who got into an Ivy League. And – and I was worried. I was afraid I would have to deal with snobby bitches like that again. And I didn’t. I got the most badass roommate ever and then met her kickass best friend. And – and I finally figured out what all those stupid, silly teen girly movies were always going on about. And – now… I don’t want to lose that. Finn was my family, but now – now you guys and the guys – the only ones who aren’t stupid – y’know… But don’t tell them that. They have big enough egos.” Raven’s rambling and Octavia clears her throat and gives her a pointed glare and an arched eyebrow.

“Anyway,” Raven wraps her blanket around her tighter. “You guys are my family now and I don’t want to lose that.”

Clarke’s smiles slowly expands and she launches herself at Raven and gives her a sloppy kiss on the cheek, “I’ll always choose you first, Raven Reyes; over any guy. I promise.”

“ _Better be a guy because I’m not second best. Just so we’re all clear,_ ” Octavia laughs.

“Yes,” Clarke points to Octavia through the screen. “You are both my best friends and you better be each other’s best friends too. We’re a trio – like Charlie’s Angles or something. And you’ll both be my co-maid of honors at my wedding. We won’t have bridesmaids – just maid of honors.”

“When you marry Bellamy?” Raven giggles.

“Yes – wait. No,” Clarke starts shaking her head. “When I marry that guy – what’s his name again, O?”

“ _Chris Evans. Captain America_.”

“Yes. That one.”

“So whose Charlie?” Raven asks.

“ _What?”_ Octavia places her phone down. “ _How did we go from Chris Evans to Charlie?”_

“Clarke said we are Charlie’s Angles. Whose Charlie then?”

“Screw that. We don’t need no Charlie. Boys are stupid remember,” Clarke falls down onto some pillows.

“ _Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them. Our new motto?”_

“Not your’s,” Clarke sits up so quick the room starts spinning. “You have a boy. And he’s not stupid. So we won’t throw rocks at him.”

“Unless he becomes stupid. Then we will throw rocks. I’ve got a good arm. I can hit him from here,” Raven deadpans and Octavia laughs.

“ _Thanks guys. It’s good to know my entire back up is across the country.”_

“ _Hey Tavia! Who are you talking to?”_ A blonde appears behind Octavia and is peering down at them. Octavia rolls her eyes before turning to the other girl.

_“These two idiots are my best friends from home. We’re just having some girl time._ ”

_“Oh hey! I’ve heard so much about you! It’s nice to finally meet you both. Sort of,_ ” the other girl giggled. “ _I’m Shelly. Tavia’s roommate.”_

“Nice to meet you,” Clarke smiles and Raven grumbles something about over peppy California blondes and Clarke elbows her before Raven manages a nice to meet you too.

“Princess? You two still alive?” Bellamy pushes open the door to the apartment carrying pizza boxes with Chinese bags balanced on top.

“Bellamy!” Clarke and Raven yell from their position on the floor.

Bellamy stops at the entrance of the living room looking confused at the enthusiastic welcome.

“ _Hey Bell!”_ Octavia calls from the laptop and Bellamy drops the food in the kitchen and comes to sit on the floor between Clarke and Raven leaning back on his hands.

“Hey O! How’s everything going?”

_“Good,”_ Octavia rolls her eyes as her roommate starts poking her while staring at Bellamy. Clarke and Raven exchange a laugh and an eye roll. _“Bell, this is my roommate, Shelly. Megan this is my brother Bellamy_.”

“Hey, nice to meet you.”

_“Nice to meet you too,”_ Shelly responds breathlessly.

Octavia rolls her eyes again and Clarke looks at Bellamy to see if he notices Shelly blushing, but he’s watching her instead so Clarke smiles and gets a smirk in return.

_“So how’s Echo, Bell?”_ Octavia asks.

“What? Oh, yeah. She’s good, I guess.”

“You guess?” Raven asks slowly while taking a sip of her beer.

“Weren’t you suppose to be on a date with her tonight?” Clarke looks around and glances at the door. “And I thought Miller and Jasper were bringing food for us.”

“Miller got called into work and I think I heard an explosion or something coming from Jasper and Monty’s apartment and the landlord was running up the stairs when I was passing him so I wasn’t going to even bother going in that direction.”

“So you’re dropping off food for the heartbroken drunk girls and then off to your nice romantic date?” Raven had gotten one of the pies and returned with the box.

“Nah, something happened with Echo’s roommate. So she had to cancel,” Bellamy shrugs a shoulder and grabs a slice of pizza from Raven.

“Hey. That’s rude stealing food from the heartbroken drunk girls,” Raven pushes the box away from him.

“I bought it,” Bellamy grabbed the box because even though Raven tried to push it away it just ended up behind her and closer to Bellamy.

“Eat,” Bellamy pushed the box towards Clarke. “I can still send some food to you too, O.”

_“No thanks, big brother. I’ve got dinner plans. In fact, I should probably get going anyway.”_

“What? No, no, no. You can’t leave us!” Raven grabs the computer to face her. “Remember Charlie’s Angles. We’re in this together.”

Clarke starts laughing, “Raven. Remember she has her date? However many hours ago? It’s what’s she’s been getting ready for like the last hour.”

“Wait. What date?” Bellamy interrupts, but Clarke covers his mouth with her hand.

“Shh… Remember our conversation from this weekend, Bell?” Clarke reminds him quietly. She’s pretty sure her words are slurring together.

“You three and my mom are going to send me into an early grave, you know that, princess?”

“It’s because you’re a big teddy bear,” Raven launches herself at Bellamy and hugs him. “A big jackass teddy bear.” Clarke starts rolling on the floor laughing at Bellamy’s horrified expression.

“Never call me that again, Raven. Never.”

Octavia is cackling from the other side of the computer and her friend Shelly looks slightly confused and Clarke is pretty sure she can here Shelly ask if Octavia’s brother is dating her friend? And who is Echo then? Clarke catches Octavia shaking her head and say something like it’s a long story, but Clarke’s drunk and she’s laughing too hard to care.

Bellamy sticks around most of the rest of the night, but after a phone call he disappears claiming Clarke and Raven have gotten to the way too emotional stage of drunkenness for him to handle. They deny it, but their protests are even weak to their own ears. It’s not long after he leaves that they begin declaring themselves best friends and promise to never let a guy come between them – ever.

“Y’know,” Clarke starts. They’re sitting in Clarke’s bed curled up together and slowly falling asleep. Raven wanted to burn her bed because Finn had slept there last, but Clarke convinced her to just wash the sheets a few times tomorrow instead. “I will always choose you first over any other guy – or girl – or sexual partner.”

Raven starts giggling, “Of course you would. I’m awesome.”

“S’good. Just want you to know.”

“Clarke?” Raven asks after a few minutes of silence.

“Mhmm?”

“Thank you for being my friend.”

“Always,” Clarke rolls over to place her head on Raven’s shoulder and smiles. “You’re officially stuck with me forever and by extension the rest of the nerds. I’ll make you sign a contract or something in the morning.”

“Good. I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

They wake up the next morning to pounding.

“Is that my head or the fucking door?” Raven grumbles pulling the blanket over her head.

“Shit. I think it’s the door,” Clarke rolls out of the bed and checks her phone. “Bellamy has a key so the guys would have just come in.”

“Ugh. The jackass is probably just getting us back for making him listen to how much Finn sucks in bed.”

Clarke starts laughing before she even reaches her bedroom door, “Stop! Stop, please. I need to pee and this isn’t helping.”

“Just answer the door so he’ll fucking stop,” Raven grumbles into the pillow.

Clarke walks to the door holding her head and fixing her tank top, which had shifted in her sleep. She probably should have checked the door, but she had an epic hangover and it was just Bellamy.

“God damn it, Bellamy. What?” Clarke pulls open the door to stop the noise and almost shuts it again immediately when she sees Finn standing in the hallway looking sheepish and happy to see her all at the same time.

“Clarke. Wait!” Finn pushes the door open before she can close it. “I – I just wanted to apologize.”

“Finn. Go away. I don’t want your apology. Raven doesn’t want your apology.” Clarke takes a moment to notice Finn’s black eye and she really hopes it isn’t from Bellamy. They go to the same school and Finn will likely try and cause problems for him there and he’s so close to graduating.

“What’s going on?” Raven mumbles before pulling the door open to see Finn. She takes one look at him and is about to slam the door in his face again, but stops and nods to his black eye. “Where did you get that?”

“One of your friends,” Finn grumbles and looks down the hall like Bellamy is about to come storming down the hall.

“Remind me to buy Bellamy the largest bottle of the most expensive alcohol ever,” Raven doesn’t look to Clarke, but keeps her eyes on Finn.

“Wasn’t that dickhead,” Finn shoots a glare at Raven and tries to turn his puppy eyes on Clarke.

Raven snorts when she notices Finn’s reaction, “You think he wouldn’t do it because Clarke asked him not to? Probably, but one word from her and they would never find your body.” Raven raises an eyebrow to Clarke who shrugs back at her.

“Miller wouldn’t start a fight unless he was trying to drag Bellamy out of one. Especially since he just finished his application for the police academy,” Clarke offers.

“Jasper is all limbs. God, I love him, but he wouldn’t be able to land a punch on the Great Wall of China,” Raven counters. “So that only leaves…”

“Monty?” Clarke looks to Finn who is looking anywhere, but the two of them.

“I will buy that boy that new processor he has been eyeing for the last few weeks,” Raven laughs and slams the door shut in Finn’s face. Clarke looks wide-eyed between her roommate’s retreating back and the door of their apartment.

“Are you – Are we –“ Clarke trails off not knowing what to do about their ex-boyfriend standing outside their door.

“Just leave him. He’ll eventually wander away. Or the guys will show up and he’ll run scared from Monty,” Raven’s laughing as she strips her bed to wash her sheets and Clarke smiles as she heads for the shower.

“Whatever you say.”

Twenty minutes later, Clarke’s getting out of the shower and hears the front door slam shut. It’s not long before Bellamy is towering over her, “What was that douchebag doing downstairs?”

Clarke raises an eyebrow at him and casually glances down at the towel wrapped around her, “First off, I would really like to get dressed before you storm in here. Second, he came to apologize. I guess he thought Raven wouldn’t be around and he wanted to talk to me. Raven slammed the door in his face so now he’s gone.”

“He’s still outside.”

“What do you want me to do about it, Bellamy? He’ll go away soon.”

“He hasn’t yet. I’ll go make him leave,” Bellamy turns to go, but Clarke grabs his arm stopping him.

“Bellamy, don’t. He’s not worth it.”

“He hurt you,” Bellamy says quietly.

“He did, but it’s not worth you getting into a fight over it. Please.”

“He hurt Raven too. He hurt both of you.”

Clarke just smiles and nods, “He did, but neither one of us want you to beat him up. So please, just let it go. We’ll deal with him.”

Bellamy rolls his eyes and turns away from her before turning back to argue again, but Clarke cuts him off.

“If we can’t handle him and need help, you’ll be our first call. I promise, Bellamy.”

“Okay,” Bellamy rubs the back of his neck. “Okay … I’m really sorry about … y’know.”

“Bellamy, it’s not your fault,” Clarke rolls her eyes. “But thank you for everything. You’re a really good friend and I’m glad you’re here.”

Bellamy smiles, one of his rare genuine smiles that is just a little bit shy without any of his usual cockiness, “Aw, princess. Don’t go and get all sentimental on me.”

“And there is the Bellamy I know and love,” Clarke shakes her head and makes her way to her room. “Raven’s doing laundry; she wanted to burn her bed, but I talked her into just washing them.”

“Good to know, princess.”

“By the way, how did Monty get a punch in before you?” Clarke stands in her doorway leaning against the jam watching him smirk.

“Miller and Jasper stopped me. Monty came out of nowhere.”

“How?”

“After I dropped you off, I was waiting for them to show up to get you guys the things O said to get you and he came wandering up,” Bellamy shrugs and turns to head back towards the kitchen. “Hurry up, princess. We’re burning daylight.”

Clarke rolls her eyes thinking she’s going to get a headache from all the eye rolling and begins getting ready. When she heads back into the kitchen, she finds Bellamy cooking (like usual) and Raven drinking coffee and playing with one of her projects for class.

“Raven, I really don’t need to hear about your sex life with the douchebag. I’m sorry that’s just something I never want to know about. Like ever.”

“Why I hear all about your sex life? Like _all the time_ ,” Raven attached two wires together causing a spark. Bellamy jumps and turning around and spotting Clarke.

“Finally, princess. You take longer to get ready then Octavia,” Bellamy smirks and turns back around to the stove.

“Our stove works?” Clarke turns to Raven.

“I _know_. That’s what I said,” Raven raises her eyebrows at Clarke and throws her arms out with the palms facing the ceiling.

“You two have lived here for month and you’ve never used your stove?” Bellamy scoops some eggs and bacon onto some plates for them.

“Well we’ve used the oven before. I think we cooked a frozen pizza in there once,” Raven looks to Clarke

“Yeah and it burned and the oven was smelling for like weeks after. I think that’s why we never used it again,” Clarke sits in a chair next to Raven.

Bellamy rolls his eyes and places two plates in front of each of them, “Next time you offer to cook for me, remind me to turn it down.”

“When have we _ever_ offered to cook for you?” Raven raises her eyebrows before taking another sip of her coffee.

“Raven, school projects off the table when we’re eating,” Clarke points a fork at her.

“And grab a paper towel because there are grease smudges everywhere,” Bellamy starts shoveling food into his mouth.

“Wow,” Raven tosses her project onto the counter and wets a paper towel. “I think I finally get why Jasper calls you two Mom and Dad.” Raven shakes her head as she sits back down after cleaning the mess up.

“You ever, _ever_ , repeat that again and especially in front of Jasper, I will never cook you breakfast again,” Bellamy levels a glare at Raven.

Clarke starts to laugh just as the door is pushed open and Jasper comes stumbling in followed by Monty and Miller.

“The man of the hour!” Raven cheers leaning back in her chair and throwing both arms up.

“Monty, the love of my life, get over here. Bellamy get this man some bacon,” Clarke grabs Monty’s arm and pulls him into the empty seat next to her.

Bellamy grumbles, but puts some bacon and eggs on a plate for Monty.

“What – what’s this all about?” Monty looks nervous.

“We saw Finn,” Raven leans in quietly. “And you – you, my good man, are my hero. For life.”

“Mine too,” Clarke hugs Monty and places a kiss on his cheek. “But if you ever do that again, I will murder you in your sleep.”

Monty grins sheepishly, “Sorry. I just figured it needed to be done and … Yeah.” Monty glances at Bellamy and looks away. “It was nothing.”

“Nothing my ass,” Jasper smiles as he grabs a piece of bacon off Monty’s plate. “It was amazing. Finn was just saying –“

“Jasper!” Monty glares at him.

“Yeah, it’s not that big of a deal,” Miller grabs some orange juice from the fridge and glances at Monty. “I mean, it was a good shot, but … yeah.” Miller looks down into his glass.

Clarke looks to Raven who raises her eyebrows back and says, “Interesting.”

“I guess we’ll just have to get someone drunk to get the story,” Clarke grins and catches a weird expression cross Bellamy’s face before it disappears.

“So,” Raven claps her hands. “What have you lovely gentleman planned for the day?”

“Well,” Monty sits straighter in his seat before glancing at Bellamy. “First, we are going to the Met. Then, we are going to that really crappy arcade down on 5th. And by crappy, I mean, awesome retro arcade that’s going to survive a nuclear war.”

“Well, that sounds like an awesome time. Does the Met have some history exhibit we should all be prepared for?” Raven glances at Bellamy who shoots her a sarcastic smile.

“No, but it does have that exhibit that the princess has been talking about for weeks, so… And the arcade, that you love, and we all tolerate.”

“Bellamy Blake, you are my hero,” Raven clinks her coffee cup with his. “After, Monty, of course.”

“Of course,” Clarke leans over and hugs Monty again.

“Alright, let’s get this day over with,” Bellamy stands up and begins depositing dishes into the sink.

“Wow. For someone who is trying to do a nice thing for his heartbroken friends, you sure are grumpy, Old Man Mr. Blake,” Clarke grins at him and gets an eye roll in return.

“Can we go now? I’ve got way too many quarters in my pocket and they’re pulling my pants down,” Jasper makes a show of jingling the change in his pocket.

“Yes, yes. Let’s go before Jasper starts whining again. Do you need to use the bathroom before we leave, Jas?” Clarke asks.

“No, Mom. I’m fine,” Jasper rolls his eyes and then stands still for a minute before taking off for the bathroom.

\----

Clarke was descending the steps of the Met with Bellamy. The others had gotten bored after an hour and left for the arcade with a promise from Clarke that her and Bellamy would meet them once they were done. It was easier than listening to Jasper complain in what he thought was a quiet voice and having Raven shoot daggers most of the day. Clarke had originally suggested they all go and she would meet them, but Bellamy refused to leave her behind. He had said she was more likely to come to the arcade if he was there; otherwise she would head home by herself. Clarke honestly thought Bellamy thought she needed protection from Finn and she couldn’t be left alone at home.

“How much do you want to bet Jasper has driven everyone insane already?” Bellamy kept walking a few steps then having to stop for a beat to allow Clarke to catch up with his long legs.

“Probably just Raven at this point,” Clarke grabs his arm so she won’t get lost in the late afternoon crowd.

“I’m sure Monty and Miller have gotten him to calm down,” Bellamy reached around to pull her to his side.

Clarke threw her head back and laughed, “Right. They’ve probably ditched them by this point.”

Clarke turns to see why Bellamy has stopped and sees him standing a step below her staring at her with a look she had never seen on his face before, “What?”

Bellamy shook his head and a confused look crosses his face, “What are you talking about?”

“Monty and Miller?”

“What about them?”

“How do you not know?”

“Not know what?”

“God, even O knows and she’s in California. I knew Jasper was in denial, but I thought you knew at least.”

“Clarke, what are you talking about?”

“Monty and Miller have been hooking up for weeks.”

“What?! Since when?”

“I don’t know when it started. I just found them, maybe two, three weeks ago? I don’t really remember. I walked in on them at your place.”

“Why are you always at my place when I’m not there?”

“O sent me one of your hoodies that she stole over the summer. She was sending me things so she added yours to my box and asked me to pass it along,” Clarke looks down at their joined hands and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. “I hadn’t seen you in awhile, so I figured I would just drop it off and you’d get it when you came home.”

Bellamy is silent for a minute, probably remembering why she hadn’t been around much in the last two months.

“Hey, you okay? We can talk about it if you want.”

Clarke picks her head up and gives him a big smile even though she can feel the tears still in her eyes, “Nah. I’m good. Never been better.”

Bellamy gives her a small smile and lets go of her hand to wrap an arm around her shoulder as they make it down the last few steps, “I’ll buy you a pretzel and you can throw it to the birds.”

“Bellamy, you’re not suppose to feed the birds. They attack when you do that, remember?” Clarke grins at him remembering the summer Octavia and her had gone to the beach and were eating Swedish fish. Clarke was walking along one of the sea walls ahead of Octavia when all of a sudden she heard a very large group of birds circling overhead and following them. She turned around to see Octavia looking sheepish and smiling at Clarke while holding the bag of Swedish fish. Clarke looked past her at the few dropped fishes that were being picked up by seagulls. Clarke tried to yell at her, but the two ended up being chased by the seagulls and finding Bellamy and a bunch of his football friends on the beach.

Bellamy grins at her and starts to shake his head, “You’re going to be terrified of birds for the rest of your life, aren’t you?”

“I’m not terrified. I’ll just never leave a bag of Swedish fish or any other kind of food with your sister while in public places that birds have easy access to.”

Bellamy starts laughing and pulls her down towards the subway so they can get to the arcade faster.

Once they were seated on the subway, Clarke glances around, something she caught herself doing all day. She’s lived in New York for a year now and never once has she spent so much time watching the people around her – looking over her shoulder. And she knew what it was. She knew why and she hated it. She was actually scared. Scared Finn was going to pop up somewhere with his stupid puppy eyes. She wasn’t scared that she would fall for whatever he had to say. She was scared because he knew everyone of her buttons and knew how to push them and that she was scared for. What he would do when he showed up again and she turned him away.

“Hey,” Bellamy squeezed her hand. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Clarke forces a smile out and turns her hand around to squeeze his in return.

“Clarke, you’ve gotta talk to someone. It can be me, or Octavia, or Raven, or someone. Just talk to someone. Don’t keep it bottled in. We’re here for you.”

Clarke gives him another smile before leaning her head on his shoulder, “Thanks for everything, Bellamy.” Clarke picks her head up right before he can try and say it wasn’t a big deal – his typical response whenever someone tries to compliment him.

“I really mean it. Yesterday was one of the worst days of my life. And somehow I survived it because you were there for me. I didn’t lose a friend and I wasn’t the pathetic girl who fell for a guy’s lies. So just – thank you,” Clarke turns her head to rest on his shoulder again 

Bellamy clears his throat, “Anytime, princess.” Clarke can feel him press a kiss to the top of her head and smiles to herself.

* * *

 

“Finn is a rat bastard,” Jasper shakes his head. “I still can’t believe he did that and thought he could get away with it.”

“It was pretty stupid and an epic fail. It only took like two days for everyone to figure it out,” Miller chuckles.

“I still owe you Monty. For life. I’ll give you my firstborn if you want,” Raven raises an eyebrow at Monty.

“Nah. I’m good. He deserved it and I couldn’t let Bellamy have all the fun,” Monty shrugs his shoulders.

“What was he saying?” Lincoln asks quietly and Octavia pales and glances to her brother. Everyone else stutters out stupid answers that don’t make sense.

“He said I was a loser who was more likely to get arrested then graduate and Clarke would always see me as her best friend’s older brother and not someone who was good or honest. And basically, that she would always chose him over me,” Bellamy shrugs his shoulder like it’s nothing even though after all these years his words still cut at him. Clarke is perfect and so out of his league that he doesn’t know how he got her to fall in love with him (sometimes he wishes he knew because he’s sure there is a gold mine in writing a how to get the perfect girl to love you when you’re a train wreck more than half the time).

“He’s the loser,” Raven gives him a pointed look. “He needed to cheat on two awesome girls because he thought he was entitled to it and that when they found out they would fight each other over him. It never even occurred to him that we would choose each other instead of him. I know, Blake, don’t shake your head at me. He told me and I used that opportunity to tell him that you and Clarke were living together and had awesome sex.”

“Ew,”Octavia rushes to over her ears. “My brother.”

Raven grins at her, “Finn needed to know how bad he sucked in bed and I let him know that both Clarke and I were much more sexually satisfied without him.”

Everyone starts to laugh and Bellamy takes the opportunity to check his phone to see if Clarke has texted him. Ever since the Finn breakup and long before they got together, they had taken to texting each other random things throughout the day and he wasn’t surprised to see a few from Clarke.

_The Commander is giving me hell today. It’s like she knows what today is and wants to make my life miserable before I can escape._

_I went to get coffee and this barista looks just like one of your students from last semester who thought I was your TA and was trying to flirt with me (badly) and you threatened to fail him for not only flirting with your girlfriend but sucking at it too._

_Oh my god! It was him! That was awkward. He didn’t ask for my name and then when they called me it said Prof Blake’s girl on it. I’m keeping this forever. I’m going to make it into a holder for my pens and pencils at work. Keep it on display so everyone knows._

_Was able to run that errand in between meetings! Love you!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! I love your comments they make me smile all the time (and sometimes cry too, but those are normally tears of happiness so they're good too). 
> 
> FYI the Swedish fish story is a combination of two true stories. Let's just say I was not Octavia - thank god. :)


	9. The Renegade, Who Had It Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy faces a fear with the help of Clarke (and some nosy friends).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title comes from Renegade by Styx and really has no relevance to this chapter mostly because this chapter is a big ball of fluff and I had no idea what to call it. I thought of cutting it, but it sets up some important "stuff" for future chapters. (Bonus point: first heard this song from an episode of Supernatural and when I tried to name by dog Dean, and got shot down by everyone, I used it as one of his middle names.. Diesel T Renegade. It's a hard name to yell at him with lol).
> 
> Hope you enjoy this almost 6,500 words of fluffiness!

Bellamy stared at the application. It was like every other application for every other graduate program he already applied to and got accepted. He didn’t even need this one. NYU had pretty much guaranteed him a place next fall. He could just stay there and work on his Masters and get his Ph.D. But this was different. Octavia got into Stanford. Clarke and Raven were finishing their sophomore year at Columbia. He could do this. No, he couldn’t. They were all geniuses. So were Monty and Jasper and the only reason they chose NYU over MIT was because they got a full ride so they could live in the city. Miller was pretty smart too, but he wasn’t going to graduate school since he had already got accepted into the police academy. 

 _Grow a pair of balls, Bellamy. It’s one application._ He thought to himself.

_It’s an Ivy League school. It’s not just one application._

He was an idiot if he ever thought he could do this.

“Honey, I’m home!” Clarke’s voice calls from the door right before he hears the door slam.

“Miller’s not here,” Bellamy calls back without looking up from his screen.

“The correct response is ‘Darling, how was your day?’” Clarke drops her bag on the floor and plops onto the couch next to where he was sitting on the floor leaning against it.

“What are you doing?” Clarke leans forward to look at his computer just as he slams it shut.

“Nothing.”

“That didn’t look like nothing. You’re still haven’t applied to grad schools?”

“I have. I was just thinking of another school possibility.”

“Your advisor at NYU said you basically had a spot. Why are you applying to back up schools?”

“It’s not a back up school.”

“It’s not,” Clarke trails off and without looking he can tell her brow was furrowed as she tries to think why he would apply to another school. He pushes the laptop to the other side of the coffee table and hears her ask quietly. “Is it a dream school?”

“What?” Bellamy turns around to raise an eyebrow at her.

“When we were applying to colleges, our advisors told us to apply to a minimum of three schools – back up schools or ones we knew we would get into, safety schools or ones we wanted to go to based off your ability to get in, and dream schools, schools we weren’t sure we would get into, but we wanted to go to anyway.”

“And what was your dream school?”

“Columbia,” Clarke answers without hesitation.

“And you got into your school?”

“Well I knew I wanted to go to New York so I only really applied to Columbia and NYU. I got my NYU letter before anything else so I stopped applying and just waited to hear from Columbia.”

“Of course you did, princess,” Bellamy runs his hands over his face in frustration. “What are you doing here?”

“Raven’s robot team is in a completion against some people on Monty and Jasper’s team so they’re all at NYU. We were all going to go out and get something to eat to celebrate when Raven wins and my class got cancelled so I figured I’d hang out with Miller while I waited for them. Where is he anyway?”

“I guess with Monty. He mentioned something about robots at NYU. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Oh, I thought you were working or out with Echo?”

“Nope. I’m here,” Bellamy stands up and stretches all the kinks out of his back. “Want something to drink?”

“Yeah, sure. Anything’s good,” Clarke moves her legs so he could make his way to the kitchen and grab two beers. He pops the tops off them. He comes back to find Clarke staring at his computer.

“What are you doing?” Bellamy drops the beers on the coffee table and pulls the laptop away from her.

“You want to go to Columbia?” Clarke’s expression is shocked and confused.

“No. I was just looking at the requirements.”

“Then why did you start to fill it out?”

“I don’t know, Clarke. Just drop it,” Bellamy closes the laptop again and sticks it back in his school bag sitting on the floor.

“Bellamy,” Clarke begins, but he cuts her off.

“Drop it, Clarke. It’s not like I’m going to get in or anything. It’s not worth the sixty dollars to apply just to be rejected when I already know NYU will take me.”

“Bellamy, do you want to go? Honestly, if you could go anywhere would it be NYU or Columbia?”

“Obviously, Columbia. It’s a better school. Has a better reputation, but NYU is just as good and I’ve already spent four years there so I know everyone and it will be fine.”

“Then let’s finish your application.”

“Clarke, I don’t have sixty dollars to waste on an application for a school I can’t get in to.”

“Every school – including Columbia – has a fee waiver for applications. So what’s your next excuse?”

Bellamy narrows his eyes at her, “You know why?”

“You’re telling me the Great Bellamy Blake is scared of a little rejection?”

“A little – It’s Columbia, Clarke!”

“Exactly, it’s Columbia. It’s a great school with an amazing reputation. You’re smarter than anyone I know and you work harder than any other scholarship student at NYU. Columbia would be lucky to have you and if they don’t see you’re great potential why would you want to go there? I wouldn’t want to go there,” Clarke stands up and takes his laptop out and opens it again.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m going to help you apply and then I’m going to download the fee application waiver and fill that out too.”

He slides down onto the floor in the spot he was in before sitting next to her and asks quietly, “Why are you helping me?”

“Because you’re acting ridiculous if you think you won’t get into Columbia. Besides, you’ll never really know unless you apply,” Clarke pauses and fills out all his family history including his Filipino heritage – he should probably be worried that she knows all of this, but she probably helped Octavia fill hers out. “Have you talked to Echo about this? Isn’t she applying to Columbia too? I mean she’s doing her undergrad there so it makes sense she would apply to the graduate program too.”

“Yeah,” Bellamy clears his throat. “Last she said she was still applying there.”

“Does she know you want to go there too? Well, I’m assuming she has something to do with wanting to go there.”

“No,” Bellamy stares pointedly at the screen. “She doesn’t know.”

“Oh, well than you can surprise her with your acceptance letter.”

“I think the better surprise would be just to see her on campus in the fall.”

“Why do you have to be so difficult?” Clarke gives an exasperated sigh. “Just tell your girlfriend you got into the same school. It’s not like she’s going to be studying history too.”

“Sort of,” Bellamy rubs the back of his neck. “She’s studying the art of war – or something similar. I didn’t really understand it, but it’s a comparative history of all the wars and how each battle was won or lost.”

“Well, you’re studying Classics, right? So it’s not the exact same thing. You’ll be fine. Just tell her before you show up in the same class or something.”

“That would be a really awkward conversation, Clarke,” Bellamy sighs and decides to just rip the Band-Aid off. “It would be awkward because we broke up a few weeks ago.”

“Oh,” Clarke’s hands stop moving over the keyboard. “Do you want to talk about it?"

 _Yes._ “Not really,” Bellamy sighs again. “We just realized we didn’t really want the same kind of things.”

“Same kind of things like what?” Clarke turns to face him and takes a sip of her beer.

“Relationship stuff, I guess? I don’t know. There was a lot of yelling and I just sort of thought that it wasn’t really worth all this yelling and I guess that’s a good thing, right? Realizing that it’s not working so you walk away before you hurt the other person – I mean more than you probably already had?”

“Not really? Are you saying you just didn’t like her enough to work things out?”

“Yeah, I guess that’s it. I know I should have figured it out sooner, but it’s not like we went on a bunch of dates and then realized we weren’t compatible. We sort of did things backwards.”

“How so?”

“We had sex a bunch of times and then decided to do the emotions thing.”

“Well, physical attraction is part of emotional attraction – to an extent.”

Bellamy scoffed, “Yeah, that’s what it was.” He adds an eye roll for good measure.

“I’m sorry. I’m just trying to figure it out. We don’t have to talk about it.”

“Yeah, let’s do that, princess,” Bellamy motions with his beer to the laptop for her to keep filling out the application.

He doesn’t want to talk further about how Echo showed up at the bar the next weekend and spent the whole night hanging out with some loser and Miller kept hovering around him thinking he was going to get angry or jealous or something and flip out on her, but for once he didn’t care. Seeing her throw herself at someone else – he was mostly sad that he caused her to act that way, but he wasn’t angry. That’s when he knew the breakup was a good idea.

It was the same night that he started to question his anger when he saw Finn Collins talking to Clarke all those months ago when they met. He knew he never trusted him, but he couldn’t figure out why then he felt like that. He told everyone he just had a gut feeling that he was a douchebag, but it didn’t explain the anger he felt every time Clarke mentioned him. He knew now that any mention of the douchebag that sparked his anger was justified, but back then it wasn’t.

It definitely didn’t explain his hatred of Wells Jaha. His hatred now was from the anger he felt for anyone who hurt Clarke – or Octavia or Raven. They were his friends (and sister) and he knew how much guys were assholes (he was one – and one of the kinds he wanted to keep away from them), but Wells Jaha was always a good guy and always treated Clarke right and they had been sort of friends for a few years before Clarke started dating him. He couldn’t pinpoint what caused his anger (without having to have a long and hard look at some other things), but he could pinpoint when it started – and that was the day Octavia came bouncing in the house two weeks after the homecoming dance. She had just come back from Clarke’s house and was singing about helping the other girl get ready for her _big date_ (yeah, he knew exactly where his anger was coming from, but he wasn’t going down that path – not anytime soon).

“Bellamy!” Clarke waves her hand in front of his face. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Bellamy clears his throat again. “What do you need, princess?”

“You’re social security number,” Clarke eyes him carefully.

He gives her the number just before the door opens and Raven and Jasper come in singing _We are the Champions_ by Queen followed by a laughing Monty and an exasperated Miller.

Bellamy caught Clarke’s smile as she turns to everyone after adding the information in, “I take it the NYU team went down gloriously?”

“It. Was. Spectacular,” Jasper was grinning.

“Aren’t you on the NYU team?” Bellamy asks.

“Yeah, but we weren’t apart of this competition. This was most for the mechanical engineers and the engineers. Monty and I are apart of the biochemical engineers team.”

Bellamy catches Miller’s eye, “Just sounds like a bunch of engineers playing with toys to me.”

Miller snorts and Monty elbows him.

“I’ll have you know Bellamy Blake, that robots are not just a bunch of toys. Mine is so spectacularly designed and built that just a few punches of my keyboard and I can set it on a warpath that would only end in your complete and utter destruction,” Raven places her hands on her hips and raises an eyebrow at him.

“I’d believe her if I were you. That _thing_ destroyed our apartment last week during a trial run. We’re never getting our safety deposit back,” Clarke grins at him and Bellamy shakes his head.

“So are we going out to celebrate my amazing win?” Raven looks between the two sitting on the floor. “And why are you sitting on the floor?”

“We’re working on one of Bellamy’s grad school applications,” Clarke turns back to the computer.

“I thought you already handed in your NYU application,” Miller crosses the room to look at what Clarke’s doing.

“It’s not for NYU,” Bellamy grumbles and picks up the empty beer bottles before taking them to the kitchen to toss. When he comes back all his friends are crowded around Clarke looking at his computer. “Come on, guys,” Bellamy sighs and runs his hand down his face again.

“Cool,” Monty leans over and points to a box Clarke missed. “He won that speaking award in high school his junior year. Beat out all the seniors and Wells.”

“Oh, right,” Clarke quickly adds it in.

“Don’t forget the volunteer work the football team did with those kids a few towns over. Helping them with homework and cleaning up that old gym after it was vandalized,” Miller reminds Clarke.

“Wasn’t that punishment for starting a fight with Mount Weather’s football team on the field?” Jasper asks and Miller shrugs.

“Volunteer work is still volunteer work,“ Raven adds. “Include it. It can’t hurt.”

“Besides, after the football team finished, Bellamy kept going back. Octavia and I went with him a few times,” Clarke is typing away furiously as his friends keep adding things.

“Blake, what’s your personal statement look like?” Raven reaches over and takes the laptop from Clarke looking through his documents for the standard one he wrote for NYU.

“No, no, no. He can’t use that,” Jasper has already skimmed the few pages. “It’s all about how great NYU is. He needs to write about how awesome Columbia is.”

“You go to NYU,” Bellamy points out.

“So,” Monty looks up from where he has started typing furiously. “We chose NYU for a reason. Same reason you chose it for undergrad, but now you’ve matured and evolved as a student so now you need to explore new worlds on your academic journey.”

“That’s good,” Clarke pulls the computer back. “Make sure to add that. Columbia will eat it up.”

“Go order some food so we can finish this on full stomachs and simultaneously celebrate my robotic win that will go down in history and your acceptance into Columbia,” Raven waves a hand at Bellamy without looking up from what Clarke is typing.

“Order pizza,” Miller adds. “And do we have enough beer for this?”

“There’s some moonshine up in our apartment,” Jasper blindly throws his keys in Bellamy’s direction and misses completely.

Bellamy just stares at his friends confused as to how they can fill out an application for him without him even being there. He glances to Miller who looks up to meet his eyes and shrugs his shoulders before taking the keys from him and heading up to the other apartment. Bellamy pulls out his cell and calls the local pizza place to have the usual delivered. When he gets back out, Raven is holding her phone in her hand and has Octavia on speaker.

“How would you describe Bellamy?” Raven asks into the speaker.

_“Do I want to know what you guys are doing?”_

“We’re helping him fill out his grad school application for Columbia,” Clarke is still typing furiously away. “We’re having a disagreement on how to describe him. We need a tie breaker.”

 _“Bell’s applying to Columbia?!”_ Octavia’s screech is heard across the room and following is a very deep voice asking what happened that draws Bellamy’s eyebrows together.

“Well, he was trying to and talking himself out of it, but I sort of forced him to,” Clarke gives him a sheepish smile.

“Then we got here and sort of took over the process,” Raven adds.

_“Wow. I’m a little scared that the two of you can fill out an application for him. I mean Clarke knows him, but still.”_

“We’re here too,” Jasper adds and Monty nods even though Octavia can’t see him.

Bellamy crosses the room and takes the phone from Raven taking her off speaker, “Hey O.”

_“Hey big brother. I hear you’re planning to join the ivy leagues with the rest of us.”_

“I was thinking about it. They can’t send the application without me.”

_“Well, you should let them. You’re crazy smart, Bell. And a complete history nerd. Columbia would be stupid not to accept you.”_

“Yeah,” Bellamy sighs. “I’ve heard that one already.” He chances a glance behind him to watch Clarke pass the laptop to Raven.

_“I just texted my answer to Clarke. Let them finish the application before you completely rule it out. You would be great at Columbia and I know you’ll get in if you just let yourself apply.”_

“I will, O. How is California?”

 _“Good. Things are good here.”_ Bellamy can hear the wide smile in her voice and the same smile crosses his face.

“Alright. I’ll talk to you soon. Be good.”

 _“Love you, big brother._ ”

“Love you too, O,” Bellamy hangs up and tosses the phone back to Raven before plopping down on the couch behind Clarke.

“How’s it going?”

“We need you to read the personal statement. I think it’s good. Raven thinks it’s a little too much and it made Monty and Jasper cry. Still trying to figure out if that’s a good thing or a bad thing,” Clarke twists to smile at him over her shoulder.

“Bad news, guys,” Monty moved to the kitchen counter and has Miller’s laptop open. “He missed the cut off date for the fee waiver.”

Bellamy glances down and takes a long swig out of the new bottle of beer he got from the kitchen before talking to Octavia. He could probably pick up a few extra shifts during the week to get the extra tips to cover the fee. He doesn’t like to work most weekdays because he had early classes, but he could make it work if he had to.

“I’ve got ten dollars,” Clarke cuts through his thoughts.

“Me too,” Raven was flipping through her pockets and pulled out a wad of money and when Clarke raised an eyebrow at the money. “I made a bet with this scruffy blonde frat dude at the match. I bet my robot would destroy his. And I won. And maybe made him cry.”

“He only cried after you refused to give him your number,” Monty stands up and pulls ten dollars out of his wallet to hand to Clarke.

Jasper pulls out a bunch of singles and Raven laughs, “Going to a strip club, Jasper?”

“No,” Jasper shakes his head and looks away. “I was going to go to the arcade later,” he mutters quickly and everyone laughs again.

Miller comes back into the apartment at that point breathing heavily, “Why do you have an entire sill in your bathroom? Why can’t you keep the illegal alcohol in a water bottle in your fridge or something?”

“There is like three bottles that say ‘Shine On’ in the fridge,” Jasper responds.

“That’s what that was? You’ve got to be kidding me,” Miller drops two water bottles on the table in front of everyone.

“We need ten dollars, Miller,” Raven puts her hand out.

“Ten dollars? For the pizza? What did you guys order?”

“Not for the pizza,” Clarke raises an eyebrow. “For Bellamy’s application.”

“Oh, cool,” Miller hands over ten dollars.

“Wait! What?” Bellamy finally realizes what the ten dollars are for. “No. No no no no.”

“Octavia just texted me back and said she’ll send ten dollars in her next box, but asks you to cover her, Clarke,” Raven continues as if he didn’t speak.

“No problem,” Clarke pulls another ten dollars out like it’s nothing.

“No. You’re not paying for my application!” Bellamy stands quickly and almost kicks Clarke in his haste.

“Yes we are,” Clarke narrows her eyes at him. “You’re just going to use it as an excuse not to apply. So we’ll cover it for you and when you win a Nobel Prize or some literary award you can thank all of us for covering your application to Columbia.”

“No arguments,” Raven adds and collects all the money from Clarke and hands it to him.

“If you don’t use this money for your application, we will disown you,” Monty levels a glare at him.

“Yeah, Dad,” Jasper huffs. “We need you to show your smartness to the world.”

“Smartness?” Miller thumps the back of Jasper’s head and crosses the room to take the money from Bellamy. “I’ll make sure the application and the money gets in the mail. How far along are you on it, Clarke?”

“Almost done,” Clarke looks back to the screen. “We just need Bellamy to answer a few questions – stuff about what he wants to study and such.”

There’s a knock on the door and Raven looks to the door, “Pay for the food, Blake. We just finished your application to Columbia. You owe us.”

“I thought I was dedicating a literary award to you as thanks?”

“No, that’s for forcing you to apply. The actual filling out of the application needs payment.”

Bellamy rolls his shoulders and takes a deep breath. He knows they mean well, but he can’t let them pay for his application and he can’t let them fill it out. He makes his way to the door to pay for the pizza deciding to return the money without them knowing and delete the application file. It’s a sign that the waiver expired. He doesn’t normally believe in signs, but this is one of them. One of those that tells you to turn back before you run into the Sirens from the Odyssey and crash your boat on the jagged rocks. This is one of those.

Once everyone is settled in with their pizza and moonshine and Raven has cued up some horrible horror movie on Netflix, he takes his laptop and reads over what they wrote. He actually has to laugh at some of it – mostly the part that Jasper or Raven wrote – that is so ridiculous and out there. But he can see the parts that Clarke wrote and finds himself keeping those portions and rewriting the rest. He tells himself he won’t send it in, but a few days later he starts to print out all the papers and sticks them in an envelope and fills out the address, but leaves it on the kitchen counter.

Bellamy spends two days look at the envelope still not deciding what to do with it. On the third day, he comes home from class to find it gone and he starts frantically looking for it. He starts with the trash and continues from the kitchen to his room to the living rom. He’s pulling apart the couch cushions when Miller comes out of his room.

“Dude, what are you doing?”

“My application. I left it on the counter. Have you seen it?”

“Yeah, I mailed it out this morning. Everything was in there so I stuck the money in and sent it. Did you need to add something?”

“No,” Bellamy collapses onto the couch. “I just wasn’t sure if I was going to send it or not.”

“I figured it was something like that. I double-checked with Clarke that everything was in there before I sent it out. You’re good,” Miller shuffles out the door and Bellamy spends another hour on the couch downward spiraling into a world of what ifs.

Six weeks later, he’s finished with classes for the week and grabs the mail on his way up to his apartment. He manages to avoid old Mrs. Robertson in the hallway and slips into the apartment without incident. He drops the mall on the counter and grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge. He was planning on going to the gym before his shift later that night so he makes his way back out of the kitchen and stops when something catches his eye.

It’s a slim white envelope with his name across the front, but what caught his eye is the Columbia University insignia across the top where the return address goes. It’s a small envelope that normally signals a rejection, but he can hear a voice in his head say _looks can be deceiving_ and it sounds suspiciously like Clarke.

He grabs his keys and his jacket and shoves the envelope in his pocket before he can think twice about it and begins the trek twenty minutes across town to Clarke’s apartment before he thinks about it.

When he gets their he knocks on the door, but there’s no answer so he slides down to wait in the hallway. A half hour later and Clarke is making her way up the stairs towards him.

“Hey,” she smiles while juggling her books and keys. “Don’t you have work tonight? We were all going to come hang out.”

“Yeah,” Bellamy stands up and takes some of the books from her so she can open the door. “Mind if I come in?”

Clarke raises an eyebrow at him, but opens the door anyway, “Of course.”

Bellamy follows her in and looks around, “Where’s Raven?”

“At her robot team meeting. The guy from NYU has decided she cheated and is demanding a rematch. Raven is in like seventh heaven right now,” Clarke grins as she takes her books from him and drops them on the table where he could see both girls use as a homework spot.

“Already studying for the LSATs?” Bellamy points to one of the thicker books.

“Yeah,” Clarke pulls it out and hands it to him before grabbing two bottles of water out of the fridge and placing one next to him. “I figured I’d take it next winter and then again in the summer or fall and use my highest score to apply.”

“Sounds good,” Bellamy flips through the book not really looking at anything.

“Alright. What’s up? You didn’t come here to talk about my LSATs. What do you want, Blake?”

Bellamy glances up and can tell she’s fighting a smile and using her teasing voice, but he can’t force a smile to cross his own face so he just pulls the envelope out of his jacket pocket and hands it to her without looking at her.

Clarke takes it and he can hear her turning the envelope over in her hands, “You haven’t opened it yet.”

“No. I – I didn’t know what to do when I saw it. I just came here,” Bellamy runs one of his nails over the wooden table and refuses to meet her eyes.

“Well, you need to open it, Bellamy. You won’t know what it says until you do.”

Bellamy rolls his eyes and sighs as he looks at her, “I already do, Clarke. It’s a small envelope. That means it’s a rejection.”

“Not necessarily. My letter came like this too, Bell. I got the acceptance in the mail and then a week later I got all the emails for all the follow up stuff that would normally be in a large packet. Columbia is trying the whole conserve paper thing, but they still want everyone to get one letter in the mail. Well, that’s what a freshman told me and Raven at orientation last year.”

Bellamy glances to the letter still in her hand as she tries to give it back to him, “No. You read it first. You’re the one who forced me to apply so you should be the one to tell me I didn’t get in.”

Clarke gives him a small smile and quirks an eyebrow, “So I also get to be the one to tell you you got in?”

Bellamy scoffs, “Yeah, whatever you want, princess.” He pulls out one of the chairs at the table and then thinks better of it and starts pacing the small kitchen while he waits for her to open it. He can hear her slowly ripping the envelope and unfolding the letter. He doesn’t look at her while she quickly scans it, but he hears her small in take of breath and glances to her.

“What? What does it say?” He stops across from her with the table still separating them.

Clarke’s jaw is hanging open and there are tears in her eyes as she looks up at him and says quietly, “You got in, Bell. And they’re giving you financial aid. Almost a full ride.”

“What?!” Bellamy crosses the room and grabs the paper from her. He sees the congratulations written across the top and scans further down where they offer him a scholarship and some grant money to cover the tuition. He’d still have to work to cover books and other expenses, but he wouldn’t have to worry about tuition. NYU offered him a full ride too, but he never expected Columbia to accept him let alone offer him money too.

“Congratulations, Bell,” Clarke says quietly and Bellamy can’t help the shocked laugh that makes its way out of him.

He turns to Clarke and picks her up in a hug and spins her around before putting her back on her feet laughing and looks at the letter again, “I can’t believe this. This is incredible.”

“Can I say I told you so now? Or would it ruin the happy moment?” Clarke teases and Bellamy laughs in response.

“Wait until I tell Mom or O. They’re going to flip,” Bellamy had taken his jacket off during his pacing and walks back over to grab his phone to call them both right away. As he’s scrolling through his contacts, he feels Clarke’s eyes still on him and looks up at her smiling face and puts everything down again and crosses the room to hug her again.

“Thanks, princess. I wouldn’t have done this if it wasn’t for you,” Bellamy drops a kiss onto the top of her head and can feel her smile into his chest.

“Anytime, Bell.”

He lets go of her and pulls her into a seat next to him at the table, “We should tell Mom first. O’s probably still in class.” And Clarke sits there through two phone calls while he tells his mom and sister the good news.

He’s never seen Aurora Blake cry before. Not even when he got accepted to NYU or when Octavia got into Stanford, but she’s on FaceTime in the store she worked three jobs to be able to open and openly crying in front of employees and customers alike as she announces her son got a full ride to Columbia University’s Graduate program. He can hear Vera cheering in the background and says something along the lines of brawn and brains – which causes Mel to giggle uncontrollably.

Octavia answers just as she’s walking out of class and skips a greeting by saying that he needs to delete Stanford off his world clock because it’s creepy how well he knows her schedule from across the country. When she sees Clarke sitting next to him, she starts to make a comment about they’re matching grins and so he interrupts her before she can start with a simple ‘I get in, O” and then she shrugs like it’s no big deal and says “I wasn’t really worried. Were we suppose to be worried?” She changes her tune when he tells her he got a full ride then she’s cheering and dancing in the hallways as her classmates look on and she tells them to go screw themselves because her brother is going to be a huge nerd at Columbia and get his Ph.D. in nerd things and Bellamy can’t help, but laugh with her – even if he’ll have to correct her later to make sure she knows what his degree will be in.

When he leaves for work, he asks Clarke not to tell the rest of them yet and she agrees until they walk into the bar that night and he’s a little surprised to see the grin on her face that matches everyone else’s. When she comes up to the bar to order drinks for everyone, she explains that they don’t know and the smiles are just from Raven’s guaranteed win against the blonde scruffy guy from NYU.

He gets a fifteen-minute break and leaves Murphy behind the bar to take the round over with Clarke. When he pulls the letter out to tell them all the good news after offering to pay for the next round, his group of friends turn out to be the loudest group of the night and of course spend the rest of the night celebrating for him because as Jasper reminds him he’s stuck at work and can’t drink with them.

Around midnight, Murphy tells him to take off early and celebrating after buying him and Clarke (who was sitting on the bar stool closest to him) a round of shots to celebrate. He’s sitting next to her again at the table with all their friends, when he notices Echo sitting across the bar in a booth with some other girls glaring daggers at him, but then Clarke grabs his arm to lean in and whisper something in his ear and he makes a point not to look in Echo’s direction the rest of the night. It was a night of celebration and he didn’t want toe deal with his ex who would being going to the same school as him in the fall (thankfully when he does start school, Echo seems to avoid all mythology and Greek or Roman related courses for the first year before she has to take them for her dissertation and by then she’s happily dating someone else so its easy for them to say hi and interact as classmates). 

* * *

 

“So that explains your book dedication?” Lincoln smiles at him.

“No,” Jasper shakes his head. “The deal was not a book dedication. It was a Nobel Prize.”

“Well, you’ll just have to settle for a book dedication. I’m not going to being winning a Nobel Prize in Literature anytime soon.”

“You never know,” Raven quirks an eyebrow at him.

Octavia hops up and crosses to the book case and pulls a copy of his book off the shelf (it’s actually Clarke’s copy – he’s not pretentious enough to keep a copy of his own book on display, but he does have a box of them in the back of their closet that he gives out as gifts when he’s invited to speak at other schools). She flips open to the front cover and begins to read the dedication.

_“To my group of delinquent friends – this is your dedication. Deal with it._

_“In all honesty, thank you for always believing in me – even when I didn’t._

_“To my baby sister Octavia (yes the same as Augustus’s sister Octavia) – thank you for all your support over the years and listening to the same stories over and over again. I’m so proud of everything you’ve done in your life and I’ll always love you, O.”_

Octavia turns to grin at him, “Loser, you think you’re the only one who’s proud.” And then she turns back to finish the dedication.

_“To Aurora Blake – the best mother a son could ask for. The woman who introduced me to Greek gods and Roman gladiators. Who taught her son to be a man and protect those he loves, but most importantly to chase after every dream – even if that dream is an impossibility. I love you, Mom._

_“To the love of my life – thank you for always pushing me to do the things I am the most scared to do, including writing this book. If it wasn’t for your support and love, I wouldn’t be able to face those fears and ‘slay the demons’. But most importantly thank you for loving the mess of a man I was and will always be.”_

Bellamy glances down at his jeans and wipes off some nonexistent dirt as he hears everyone smile (literally he knows they are all smiling without even looking).

“I always loved that dedication,” Monty says on a sigh.

“I hope you’re talking about Clarke’s and not ours because ours was very anti-climatic,” Miller grins at his boyfriend.

“Of course he’s talking about that one,” Raven smacks the back of Miller’s head where he’s leaning against her chair.

Octavia’s still looking at the book smiling softly and Lincoln nudges her to get her attention, “What is it?”

“Clarke wrote something next to it.”

Bellamy glances to her confused. He’s never actually looked at the book after he gave it to her. It was one of the first copies printed and given to him by his publisher so he gave it to Clarke that night before he gave any of their other friends a copy, but he’s never looked in hers since then.

Bellamy clears his throat, “What does it say?”

Octavia doesn’t say anything, but stands up and hands the book to him with a small smile. His brow furrows as he looks at her before he opens it again to read the dedication page.

Underneath the careful print of his dedication, written in Clarke’s neat handwriting are a few sentences.

_‘Bell – I know you’ll probably not read this for a few years since you hate that I even keep this on display because you think it looks pretentious for an author to display his own book. Only you, most others would think the author was proud. Since I won’t ever write a book that I can dedicate to you, I thought we could share this one copy. I figured I’d write this now and then one day in the future when you’re panicking about your next book I can show it to you and you’ll see how amazing I really think you are – because I do, Bell._

_You pretend that you don’t deserve good things in life, but you are one of the most honest and good to your bones men left in this world and I am incredibly proud of you. Everything you have achieved in your life is yours and yours alone. Don’t ever let anyone take that away from you. And I am beyond lucky to call you mine. Love always, Clarke.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the next exciting installment - Clarke and Raven continue at Columbia with a few new exciting additions... ;)
> 
> Leave a comment and let me know what you think! (I LOVE comments. They make my day.)


	10. And you can want who you want / Boys and boys and girls and girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy fight for the first time and it leaves Clarke confused..
> 
> Chapter title from Welcome to New York by Taylor Swift (I started this out with a promise to not repeat songs, but this lyric just went perfectly with the chapter and I couldn't find anything that fit it better so I apologize for the repeat).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I want to apologize in advance for Bellamy here. I hope in my conclusion he explains his reaction a little bit better. And I will explain more in the end notes so no one is offended or mad..
> 
> Second, I know very little about being bisexual and I wanted to keep Clarke cannon bisexual in this so I hope her explanation to Bellamy makes sense. If not, and I have offended anyone, please do not hesitate to let me know. I am truly sorry if I have and I will try to correct anything that may have come off as offensive.
> 
> Third, I'll explain more in the end notes because I don't want to give anything away here.

The sun was shining and the day was beautiful. It was a good end to Clarke’s first week back at Columbia. She was ready for her Junior year to start and was simultaneously dreading it.

Clarke was stretched out on one of the rare grassy patches of campus and was taking the opportunity to sketch a memory of her friends from the previous weekend before school got to crazy for her to enjoy the simplicity of drawing.

A shadow fell over her drawing, but before she could yell at the person, she heard Bellamy’s voice, “That’s good. I was really mad we didn’t take a picture before Octavia left. This is even better.”

Bellamy sat down next to her before pushing her sketchpad up to place his head in her lap and closed his eyes.

“Please, make yourself comfortable. It’s not like I wasn’t using my legs to prop my sketchbook on,” Clarke poked his forehead with the eraser end of her pencil.

“Thanks,” Bellamy smirked with his eyes closed and Clarke really wishes she had a sharpie to draw on his face.

“How’s your first week going? I feel like I’ve barely seen you since you started.”

“Not bad. The classes are long and the professors are a lot more intimidating than at NYU, but I think they’re all bark and no bite. Except this one, Professor Woods. She wants us all to call her Indra though. She’ll be the death of me.”

“You’ll do great. You wouldn’t have gotten in if they didn’t think you could do it.”

“I only got in because Professor Wallace at NYU practically threw a fit in my recommendation letter that if they didn’t accept me, NYU would gladly take a stellar example of an exemplary lover of history.”

“Did he really say that?” Clarke grinned as she maneuvered the sketchpad to continue her sketch without disturbing Bellamy.

“I’m paraphrasing. He used a lot weirder words – half of which didn’t make sense.”

“Is he the crazy one that had like a crush on you or something?”

Bellamy snorted, “Not a crush. He just really encouraged me to try different things.”

“That’s good. It’s good to have a mentor like that. I wish Professor Byrne was that way with me. She would just rather point out all the mistakes in my arguments.”

“That’s crap. I read your last paper, princess. It was great.”

“Don’t lie. It was good crap,” Clarke laughed softly.

“Hey Clarke!” Clarke looked up to see Fox walking towards her and waving. Clarke met Fox the week before during Freshman orientation. Raven and Clarke had both been roped into being Freshman leaders since both were active not only in their studies, but in school actives. Clarke couldn’t remember Fox’s first name, Fox had been determined when she asked to be called Fox explaining she didn’t like her first name so Clarke had agreed (being friends with Miller taught her not to question this).

“Hey Fox! Enjoying your first week?” Clarke smiled back.

“It’s been going well. I have a big mix of classes since I’m still undecided, but I’m loving the Intro to Poli Sci you suggested,” Fox gave her a big grin and Clarke returned it.

“I’m glad. I was on the fence about Poli Sci at first too, but some friends convinced me,” Clarke poked Bellamy’s side so he knows she’s talking about him and he grunts in response.

“That’s great! I was actually wondering if you would like to get coffee sometime soon. I just would really like to pick your brain on different things,” Fox was blushing hard and Clarke couldn’t help the smile that crossed her face. Clarke knew she was trying to ask her out and Clarke figured Fox was probably still trying to figure out her sexuality since Fox had spent most of the orientation awkwardly flirting with her and Clarke had tried to drop several hints, but they just weren’t sticking.

“That sounds like fun. You should get a group of friends together and I can bring some of my friends and it can be like an informal question and answer group,” Clarke tapped Bellamy’s forehead with her pencil again. “I’ll even bring this one. He’s kind of grumpy, like all the time, but he just started graduate school here at Columbia so he can help with the post-college questions. Right, Bell?”

Bellamy grumbled something in response and Clarke turned to smile at Fox again whose face seemed to have fallen a bit, but remained optimistic.

“Oh, I didn’t realize he was your boyfriend. I’m sorry. That sounds like fun. I’ll get some kids together and email you to set up a date – I mean a day we can all meet,” Fox was blushing harder, but still waiting to see if Clarke would correct her about Bellamy.

“That sounds good. Nice seeing you again, Fox.”

“You too,” Fox smiled again and then wandered off, glancing over her shoulder a few times at Clarke and Bellamy.

“Why didn’t you correct her about the boyfriend thing?” Bellamy asked without opening his eyes, but before Clarke could respond another shadow fell over them.

“Hey, losers,” Raven plopped down next to them and bumped her shoulder into Clarke’s. “Saw you talking to your admirer. Did she ask you out yet?”

“Yeah, for coffee, but I made it a group thing,” Clarke shrugged her shoulders and shaded in some of Octavia’s hair.

“Ouch, Griffin. That was mean,” Raven leaned back on her hands behind her and turned her face towards the sun.

“What else was I suppose to do? She wasn’t taking any hints,” Clarke turned to look at her.

“Tell her you like the more tall, dark, and gorgeous types.”

“And Fox is all of that,” Clarke rolled her eyes.

“She’s not Lexa though,” Raven waggled her eyebrows at Clarke.

“What?” Bellamy asked sitting up and looking at the two girls. “What about Lexa?”

“She’s this girl we met the other day at lunch and she asked Clarke out,” Raven gave Bellamy a mischievous grin.

“Lexa, as in Echo’s roommate, Lexa,” Bellamy looked to Clarke. “That’s besides the point. You’re now into girls? When did that happen?”

“Geez, Bellamy. Relax,” Clarke narrowed her eyes at him. “I’ve always been into girls.”

“So what? Finn was like some kind of an exception?” Bellamy was beyond angry and Clarke hadn’t seen him this angry since Octavia stayed out all night after Senior prom and he was home waiting up for her.

“Finn wasn’t an exception. Bellamy, I’m bi. I like guys and girls.”

“Since when?” Bellamy could only be described as being outraged.

“Since always. I dated a girl when I was in high school. Didn’t Octavia tell you? She went to a different school, but everyone knew.”

“No, you dated some guy named Sam and O said you weren’t serious about the guy. It was just a fun thing because you both were seniors.”

“It was a girl and her name was Samantha or Sam as she liked to be called. Why are you acting like this?”

“Acting like what? That after one bad relationship you decide to _switch teams!_ Not all guys are douchebags like your stupid prince charming!”

“I haven’t _switched teams!_ I play for both teams and you’re just an asshole. I thought of all people you would be understanding considering your best friend and roommate is _bi!_ ”

“But Miller’s always been bi! He didn’t just decide to like guys because he dated a girl who hurt him!”

“That’s what I’m saying! I don’t just date girls because a guy hurt me! I date people based on whether I like them or not!”

“You know what, I need to go. I’m suppose to be meeting a professor in like twenty minutes,” Bellamy stood up and started to storm off.

“You said you were done for the day, asshole!” Clarke yelled after him, but got no response.

“Wow,” Raven said quietly. “You guys haven’t fought like that in awhile.”

“Can you blame me? He’s an asshole for acting like that. And why does he care anyway?” Clarke slammed her sketchbook closed and shoved it into her bag.

“It’s Bellamy. That’s why he care,” Raven looked at her sympathetically.

“Exactly! Bellamy is the most understanding person ever. When Miller told him he was into guys as much as he was into girls, Bellamy told him ‘cool. I’m not that great of a wingman when it comes to guys, but I can try.’ And that was it. He finds out about me and he acts like that!” Clarke gestured towards where Bellamy disappeared across the quad.

“Well, yeah. Because you’re you not Miller,” Raven raised an eyebrow and Clarke scowled at her.

“Oh, so it’s okay because Miller is a guy and I’m a girl? I thought you were on my side,” Clarke crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at her roommate.

“It has nothing to do with you being a girl and everything to do with you being Clarke,” Raven paused before standing up and offering a hand to Clarke. “Come on, let’s go get some food. I’m starving and I want to get drunk tonight before hell takes over my life this year.”

“Fine,” Clarke muttered and allowed Raven to help her up. She didn’t understand what Raven means about her being bi is more upsetting to Bellamy than his best friend and how it cannot mean something because she’s a girl and he’s a guy. Bellamy’s always been the most understanding and he was the first person she wanted to tell when she realized she liked girls too because of that reason. She almost did even though they constantly argued back in high school because when she had a problem, he would always talk it out with her. It just didn’t make sense to her.

 

Two weeks later, Clarke set up the informal coffee gathering with Fox, who invites a group of Freshman that she’s met from various departments at Columbia so Clarke tries to find a good mix of upperclassmen from the same departments or just various other departments. The last person she needs to get into contact with is Bellamy, who she hasn’t heard from since that day two weeks ago. She’s seen him around campus and he always seems to be rushing off in a different direction than she’s going so to say she’s pissed at him is an understatement.

 

 **Clarke 10:03 PM:** _Bellamy. I set up a coffee thing with some freshman this Wednesday at 4. I know you’re free so do you think you could meet them?_

 **Bellamy 10:05 PM:** _Yeah, I’ll be there. Place?_

**Clarke 10:10 PM:** _Starbucks on campus._

**Bellamy 10:10 PM:** _Okay._

 

Clarke arrives early with Raven to grabs some tables and to push them together enough for the group of fifteen. Thankfully, Raven knows a guy who works there so they were able to find a time that the place should be empty.

Clarke heard the doorbells chime while she was trying to move one of those large armchairs out of the way of two tables before someone came over to help her. She glanced up to thank the person and found Bellamy standing next to her.

“Hey,” Bellamy rubbed the back of his neck and looked around the empty Starbucks. Clarke glanced around too and realized Raven must have disappeared.

“Hey,” Clarke turned to start setting up more chairs and tables.

“I’m sorry,” Bellamy rushed out and Clarke stopped to look at him. They never did this, no matter how much they yelled and fought with each other; they never apologized and just would continue on as if nothing happened. Bellamy apologizing would be a great sight to see, if she wasn’t really scared on what he could possibly say.

“I acted like an asshole and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have freaked out on you. It was an asshole move.”

“I’m really just curious about why you freaked out. I really thought if anyone understood it would be you.”

“I do understand. It was just surprising. I’ve always seen you with guys and I’ve never heard you talk about girls like that before. And I’m just really sorry,” Bellamy was still rubbing the back of his neck and looking at her through his eyelashes sheepishly.

Clarke sighed deeply and looked at him. She could tell he was really sorry, but she was still a little angry at his reaction so she slumped into a chair and he followed her lead.

“You’re forgiven, of course. But I just want to let you know that when I realized I liked girls as much as guys and that was different than what Octavia liked, you were the one I wanted to tell. I knew you would just listen and help me figure it out and I was just really hurt by your reaction because I thought of all the people you would be the most understanding.”

“I’m so sorry, Clarke. I feel like such an asshole because I never should have reacted that way. I don’t even know why and I wish you had come to me back then and told me. I really hoped I would have reacted better,” Bellamy sighed and placed his head in his hands. “I have no words for my reaction, Clarke. I really don’t. I only have a lame ass apology and a promise to always listen to you before jumping to conclusions like that again.”

He sounded so miserable and Clarke knew that whatever happened, Bellamy was always there for her so one bad day wasn’t going to change that for her.

“Hey Bell,” Clarke leaned forward and placed a hand on his forearm. “I already said you were forgiven. And I’m sorry for freaking out on you and not explaining it. I really thought you knew. I mean I never really hid it from anyone.”

Bellamy lifted his head and met her eyes, “I really didn’t know. I’ve talked to Octavia and she said she swore she thought I knew too and I really don’t know how I didn’t know looking back.”

Clarke gave him a small smile, “Let’s just forget about it then. I sort of still need you to be my boyfriend for this thing. Fox is kind of determined.”

Bellamy grinned and shook his head, “So girls are just as persistent as guys.”

“Yeah, we tend to go after what we want.”

“Speaking of, how was your date with Lexa?” Bellamy looked hopeful and Clarke realized he was trying to make up for his earlier reaction by being a good friend and asking her about her relationships.

“Lexa? Oh, right. I turned her down. You stormed off before I could explain that.”

“Why? According to Raven, she’s your type,” Bellamy looked confused.

“She is. I mean physically, but she’s kind of aloof – I guess that’s the right word – and cold. We ate lunch together with Raven and she kept mentioning someone named Costia and I got the impression it was her ex and she’s probably still not over her. It just wasn’t something I was looking for,” Clarke shrugs her shoulders because its always been weird discussing her love life with Bellamy, even though he’s the first person she wants to go to when she has something to tell.

“Oh, okay,” Bellamy tapped the table while looking at his hands before glancing up to her again. “Why didn’t you tell me? You said you wanted to tell me first, but you didn’t.”

“I told my dad instead,” Clarke can feel the wistful smile on her face. “Mom was working a lot at the hospital at the time and I was acting a little strange – even by teenage girl standards,” Clarke laughs. “He just told me that I could tell him anything and he would always be there for me no matter what. So I told him and he just looked at me blankly and I thought he would freak out and he said ‘that’s what this is all about’ and told me that whoever I chose to love would be the luckiest person ever because when I love, I love with everything I have and it wouldn’t matter whether the person was a guy or a girl or what they looked like. He would love them just as much as he loved me because I had chosen them.”

Clarke glances up to see Bellamy’s smile matches her own, “I’m glad if it wasn’t me, it was your dad. He always knew what to say.” Bellamy’s smile turned more sorrowful as he continued, “I just hope he doesn’t hate me for not being as understanding.”

“Bell,” Clarke laughed and reached over to grab his hand. “You are always understanding. I just took you by surprise and you took me by surprise. I thought you knew and you didn’t. Stop beating yourself up about this; my dad could never hate you. I swear sometimes I thought he liked you better than me.”

“Nah, princess. You had him wrapped around your finger long before I knew you,” Bellamy squeezed her hand and she returned the gentle squeeze.

“Finally! Is your heart to heart done with because that guy, Myles, thinks I like him because I was hanging out in the back with him,” Raven plopped down in another seat at their table.

“Thanks, Raven,” Clarke reached over and pushed her shoulder gently, while still holding Bellamy’s hand. 

“Watch it, Griffin,” Raven gave her a blinding smile before hopping up to meet some of her engineering friends who were walking in.

* * *

“I still can’t believe you were that much of an asshole,” Octavia shakes her head at him.

“I know,” Bellamy rubs his face and can feel the heat rising in his cheeks. Even years later and with Clarke’s forgiveness, he’s never really forgiven himself for being angry like that. Although it took a few years for him to figure out why he was so angry and it had nothing to do with the fact that Clarke liked girls and everything to do with the fact that he thought Clarke was going to date someone else – someone who wasn’t him. It had nothing to do with dating girls and everything to do with dating Lexa, generally, and not him, specifically. It was pure and simple jealousy at its worse because it sprung up on him out of nowhere and he was unable to keep the green monster tamed - like he normally could.

He told Clarke this after they started dating and she laughed at him and said she only had lunch with Lexa to find out what had happened between him and Echo because she was worried about him going to the same school as his ex.

“Is it awkward for Clarke now, working with Lexa?” Monty asks.

“Not really. I mean she tells me it’s not, but it’s awkward when I’m her date for work things. Lexa doesn’t like me very much,” Bellamy shrugs because the feelings mutual. “She’s still friends with Echo and after Clarke and I got together, Echo made it very clear that I broke up with her because of Clarke, which is not entirely true because Echo broke up with me because of Clarke. And well, Lexa took Echo’s side.”

“Didn’t Lexa get back with her ex anyway?” Monty looks concerned.

“Yeah, Costia,” Bellamy nods. “She was the reason why Clarke said no to Lexa and now she acts all high and mighty. Like Clarke broke Echo and me up and yet Lexa wanted to date her at one point,” Bellamy shakes his head at the mystery that is Lexa.

“Clarke doesn’t let it effect her though. That’s all that matters. And she said that everyone pretty much doesn’t let Lexa and her work together so she doesn’t care,” Bellamy smiles again.

“So,” Octavia drawls out. “It’s safe to assume that by this point in our story, Bellamy has started to see Clarke as more than just his little sister’s best friend turned his close friend?”

Bellamy narrows his eyes at Octavia as everyone else laughs.

“Yeah, I would say that,” Raven says through a shit-eating grin. “And it’s about to get interesting…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I am so so so very sorry for Bellamy's asshole reaction. Now that you've read it I can explain it a little more. Last chapter Bellamy started realizing that maybe how he views Clarke is different than how he views any of his other friends. I like to think of that chapter as the very early awakening of Bellamy's heart. He begins to understand his "irrational" anger at Wells and Finn in the past and starts to understand more. 
> 
> Here, Bellamy isn't angry that Clarke has "switched teams", but angry that she's thinking of dating someone. The last time Clarke dated someone, Bellamy began dating Echo and it was a toxic and unhealthy relationship. Basically Bellamy's go to when Clarke starts dating someone (remember Anya??? That was during the whole Wells-Clarke relationship.. hint hint). But the problem this time around is Bellamy recognizes why this is his gut reaction and wants to avoid it at all costs because he now knows the alternative is getting Clarke for himself.
> 
> Also, I've been getting a lot of comments about Lexa and I didn't want to give too much away before this chapter. So now that you've read this chapter I can explain it all a little more. Lexa and Clarke never have a relationship here. This story isn't about Bellamy and/or Clarke realizing they have feelings for each other because they get jealous of the other who is in a relationship. This story is about them realizing they have feelings for each other and either not believing the other feels the same way (Bellamy) or life getting in the way of telling the other (mostly Clarke, but maybe a little bit Bellamy too). So I'm sorry for anyone who was hoping for a Clarke/Lexa relationship, it was never really in the cards for this story and it's not because I don't like Clarke and Lexa, but because I wanted to focus on Bellamy and Clarke. 
> 
> So I'm sorry if I led anyone astray with any mention of Lexa. Any awkwardness in the present tense came from the fact that in the past Lexa was Echo's roommate and had asked Clarke out who turned her down.
> 
> Lastly, these last two chapters really sucked and I apologize for that, but the next few are going to get a lot more interesting (I hope) and will establish more feelings, but it's going to be a lot of angst. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!
> 
> PS - On my other fic, I asked if anyone wanted to be a beta for me and got a lot of responses (thanks to everyone who emailed me!) so I'm going to ask if anyone is willing to beta this for me. I have a major problem with the tenses and I keep switching between past and present so if anyone wants to just help with that and any grammar or spelling mistakes, let me know!


	11. This Is What It Feels Like

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy wakes up at Clarke and Raven's apartment and he's not sleeping on the couch......
> 
> Title is from the same song by Banks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so sorry for the delay in posting this. I really have no excuse. I finished it two weeks ago and was just too lazy to edit it and I just realized how short it is. It's not worth making you guys wait this long.. I'm hoping to have more of a schedule for writing over the coming weeks, but it will probably be about monthly updates because I'm giving myself two weeks to work on a chapter for this as well as my other Bellarke/Arrow crossover (and I'm already behind schedule on that since this should have been posted two weeks ago - I'm working on it, I promise!).
> 
> Also, I am not an unfairly attractive guy with a little sister like Bellamy is.. so I'm not sure how possible this scenario is, but I wanted to explain some things.
> 
> This is the first chapter in a three chapter arc that will cover the same event.. I've got a few more coming up like this rather than each chapter it's own little mini-story among a larger one.
> 
> Enjoy! And let me know what you think...

“Interesting how?” Bellamy asks concerned. 

“You’ll see,” Raven sing-songs as a knock sounds on the door.

“Who is that?” Bellamy glances towards the door.

“Lunch,” Raven grins mischievously as she jumps from her seat and opens the door.

“Hey, babe. Sorry I’m late. I tried to sneak out of the office, but the big Boss was standing on his tower watching all the minions work.”

Bellamy rolls his eyes as he recognizes the voice of Raven’s boyfriend, Kyle Wick.

“Awesome, pizza. I was starved!” Jasper grabs the pizza Wick’s carrying and brings it into the living room while Wick places drinks on the table.

“How’s it going, Blake? Nervous yet? Cold feet?” Wick extends a hand to shake Bellamy’s.

“Isn’t cold feet for the actual big day?” Bellamy responds with a grin.

“Nah, it can be for both,” Wick shrugs like it’s no big deal and follows Raven back to the armchair she was occupying and allows his girlfriend to sit on his lap. “So are we up to my dashing entrance, yet?”

“Unfortunately, yes, but that’s not the interesting part of the story,” Raven grins at Bellamy.

“Really?” Wick raises an eyebrow. “Please, do continue,” Wick sweeps his arm out as if to say lead the way.

“I’m so confused,” Octavia looks between them all. “What’s the interesting part?”

“The night Bellamy and I slept together,” Raven cackles and Octavia’s jaw drops before she jumps up and begins punching him.

“Ow, O! Ow!” Bellamy is able to grab her arms and pin them to her side before pulling her into his lap to hold her better. “You need to stop with the martial arts. It’s getting ridiculous. Clarke is worried that you are beating me every time I come back from your place.”

“I can’t believe you cheated on Clarke, you ass. After everything with He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named!” Octavia fights to pull away from him.

“But he’s already been named,” Monty grins.

“And I didn’t cheat on her. Raven explain, please,” Bellamy lets go of Octavia to use both hands to rub his hands down his face. He doesn’t bother trying to explain that they weren’t together so it’s not like he could have cheated on her because that will just take Octavia down the proverbial rabbit hole.

“If you wish . . .” Raven grins sardonically before launching into her story.

* * *

“She’s probably going to be late!” 

“What?!”

“I _SAID_ she’s probably going to be late!” Raven shouted in his ear.

“Okay! No need to shout,” Bellamy grinned at her. “Why is she going to be late?”

“She told me this afternoon she was meeting with her LSAT group. She’s going to have her nose in a book and forget she promised to meet me.”

“Us?”

“Well, you weren’t supposed to come. It was roomie night and then you’re life got pathetic and Clarke invited you which broke the number one rule of roomie night.”

“Which is?”

“No boys allowed,” Raven paused and glanced around the bar. “We might as well order. She’s going to be late and I need to be drunk to listen to you whine. First round’s on you.”

Bellamy shook his head and made his way over to the bar and ordered drinks for the two of them and hoped Clarke would be here soon. Raven was right. He did have a shitty day and he had wanted a quiet night of beers and pizza, hopefully with Clarke, but when he texted her he discovered the existence of roomie night.

After the Dickhead named Finn, Raven and Clarke started having bi-weekly nights where the two of them would go out on their own and get caught up. Living together and going to the same school didn’t seem to give them enough time to know everything about each other’s lives (Bellamy laughed when they told him this awhile ago, but they were quick to point out they were dating the same guy while still spending every spare moment they weren’t with him together and didn’t even realize it for months).

“Here you go, man,” the bartender, a tall scruffy blonde man handed over two drinks rather forcefully. “Shit, sorry!” He reached behind him and began to wipe up the spilled beer.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. Happens all the time,” Bellamy paused. “You got to Columbia, right? I saw you at grad school orientation.”

“Shit, yeah. Bellamy, right?”

“Yeah, Wick?”

“Kyle. Wick’s the last name,” Wick chuckled to himself.

“I didn’t know you worked here.”

“Yeah, gotta pay for housing and groceries and shit,” Wick shrugged to himself.

“Got any positions open?” Wick raised an eyebrow. “I bartend at the Drop in Midtown near NYU, but lately I’ve been having trouble getting from classes to work on time because of rush hour traffic. It’s closer to home, but this would be closer to school.”

“Really? That’s great. I mean, the boss was looking for someone with bartending experience. I’ll let him know you’re interested. But isn’t it going to suck to get off work at like four in the morning and then trek all the way from the Upper West Side to Midtown?”

“Nah, I’ve got some friends who live a few blocks from here. They’ll probably let me crash on their couch if I need to,” Bellamy tilted his head in the direction of Raven sitting at a booth by herself.

“You know Reyes?” Wick’s eyes moved from Bellamy to Raven and back.

“Yeah. How do you know her?”

“Our robotics teams competed against each other when I was in undergrad. Her and her blonde friend come in every few weeks. Didn’t know you guys were dating,” Wick said casually, but continued to wipe up the clean counter forcefully.

Bellamy grinned, “We’re not.”

Wick’s head shot up so fast, Bellamy was sure he had whiplash, “You’re not?”

“Nope,” Bellamy’s grin got bigger. “The blonde – Clarke – we grew up together. I met Raven through her. They have roomie night every few weeks; I’m crashing and Clarke’s running late.”

Wick leaned over the bar and lowered his voice, “Listen, man. I’ve worked here for like five years now and the manager trusts my judgment. I can pretty much guarantee you the job, if you give me her number. In full disclosure, she won’t.”

Bellamy narrowed his eyes at the guy. He liked Wick, seemed like a guy who would treat Raven right, but Raven wasn’t giving him her number for a reason and Bellamy had spent most of his life looking out for Octavia, then Clarke, and now Raven and he knew giving out a number without permission was a no-go.

“That, I can’t do, but I’ll do you one better. We have weekly dinners, every Sunday night; a big group of us. I’ll invite you to one and let her get to know you.”

“Seems far. It was a bit creepy asking for her number from you. And even if you just said no, I would have still given you the job. Our last bartender went crazy and quit suddenly and we’ve been short staffed ever since. Can you start next week?”

“Definitely. If we’re being honest, I’m on the verge of getting fired for tardiness, but that’s just because of how far away it is,” Bellamy grinned and Wick shook his head.

“As long as you’re here for the rush, I don’t care if you’re an hour late for the start of your shift. Hell, sometimes I just lose track of time and run late, but the boss is really laid back and doesn’t really care as long as we clock in and don’t screw up his payroll.”

“Sounds good. I’ll let you know about Sunday dinners,” Bellamy handed over cash and grabbed the two beers and made his way back to the booth with Raven.

“Clarke finally texted me back. She completely forgot that her LSAT study group was doing an extended session tonight. She’s not coming.”

“Damn, really?” Bellamy pulled out his own phone and saw his previous texts to Clarke.

 

**Today (4:35pm)**

_Having a shitty day._

_Pizza and beers tonight?_

_Can’t roomie night._

_But if it’s bad enough for pizza and beers,_

_Raven won’t mind you tagging along._

_TonDC at 7 good?_

_Yeah, princess. I’ll be there._

 

**Today (7:28pm)**

 

_Hey! I forgot my LSAT study group_

_decided to put in some extra hours tonight._

_Rain check?_  

_You owe be big, princess._

_You’ve left me with a moody Raven now._

_Be nice to each other!_

_You’re both having bad days._

_You can commiserate! Hahaha!_

_Aren’t you suppose to be studying?_

_Yeah, but this asshole keeps going on_

_these rants about last year’s LSATs._

_I want to poke my eyes out._

_Better yet, I want to poke his out!_

_Hahahaha. I’ll hold him down for you._

_Sounds good! Gotta go! Talk to later!_

“Ugh, you’re disgusting,” Raven’s voice brought him back to the bar.

“What?”

“You’ve got that stupid grin on your face that Miller gets whenever he’s talking to Monty. I can’t be around you people anymore,” Raven dropped her head on the table. “People in love make me sick.”

“First off, I’m not in love with Clarke. We’re friends. And second, you have your own admirer to deal with,” Bellamy took a pull on his beer.

“What?!” Raven’s head snapped up quickly.

“I said, you’ve got your own admirer–”

“Not that part, asshole. I saw you talking to Wick and stay out of that. I’m talking the _not-in-love-with-Clarke_ part because you are and I’m not the only one who sees it.”

Bellamy scoffed, but kept his eyes on his beer. He was still trying to get use to the fact that he saw Clarke as anything other than his little sister’s best friend. In two years, Clarke had gone from a pseudo-little sister to a friend to probably his best friend. The relationship he had with Miller wasn’t the same he had with Clarke. He would do anything for Miller, would jump in front of a speeding car or pretend to be the creepy roommate who was half in love with him to get rid of one-night stands (true story and Miller always reciprocated), but with Clarke he was able to tell her everything from the stress that working at the Drop Ship was causing the last few weeks to his fears about graduate school and his mom dating again. 

Bellamy cleared his throat; “It’s not like that with us. We’re just friends.”

Raven gave him a knowing look over the top of her beer bottle before taking a sip, “I’m going to let you off this time because I don’t think you’re in denial, but still trying to figure your shit out. Just know that if you hurt her, I will murder you and they won’t find the body.”

Bellamy huffed out a laugh, “I’m sure Octavia would have you’re back there.”

“Nah,” Raven shrugged. “You’re her brother. She would probably keep you in her life only to give you a cold shoulder when you showed up on her doorstep.” Raven’s grin turned evil, “I’m the one you should be worried about.”

Bellamy glanced down at his beer again.

“Hey, Blake,” Raven leaned forward. “I know you’re still figuring it out, but when you’re ready and want to talk about it, I’m here. I know Octavia would be your first choice, but she’s a little close to the situation.”

“Close how?”

“Her best friend AND her brother. That’s what she’s wanted since she realized your wife would be her sister-in-law.”

Bellamy shook his head without looking up, “How do you know that?”

“She told me.” At Bellamy’s skeptical look, “What? We talk. We’re not just friends because we’re friends with Clarke. Besides our favorite topic is you and Clarke.”

“Anyway,” Bellamy drained the last of his beer. “I’d much rather get drunk right now because your future boyfriend just saved my ass. So, next round’s on you,” Bellamy let his bottle fall back onto the table a little louder than he intended.

“Alright, alright. Just subject me to Wick’s horrible flirting why don’t you,” Raven grumbled as she made her way to the bar and Bellamy instantly regretted it when a tall, bottle-blonde took her seat.

Bellamy watched the girl watch him while she took a sip of her fruity cocktail. She was pretty, but in a plain sort of way with her makeup unevenly applied. Clarke wore makeup like Octavia and Raven did, but always had it applied so meticulously that you didn't realize she was wearing it at all. _When did he start comparing girls to Clarke_ , he thought, but instead asked the girl, “Can I help you?”

“I was going to ask you the same question,” the fake blonde tipped her head to the side. “Want to buy me a drink?”

“You seem to have one,” Bellamy grinned and nodded towards her full drink while he crossed his arms on the table.

“I’m going to need another one soon,” Blondie grinned seductively.

“As flattered as I am that you chose me to buy you a drink –” Raven dropping two beers and four shots onto the table interrupted Bellamy.

“Nope, not happening, Blake. I have been ditched by my best friend; you are not ditching me to get laid. Not unless I can get laid too.”

Bellamy grinned, “There’s always Wick.”

“God, no. He’s as clingy as this one will be,” Raven motioned to Blondie still sitting in her seat.

“Excuse me?” the blonde's face shifted from annoyed to outrage.

“You heard me. Plus, he’s basically taken so I would get your skinny ass out of my seat before I call his girl.”

“Basically taken isn’t taken?” the girl raised one eyebrow without moving.

Raven leaned forward, “Get. Out. Of. My. Seat.”

The girl looked pissed before a self-satisfied smirk crossed her face and she reached out to grab her drink without breaking eye contact with Raven, luckily Bellamy had seen this trick more times than he ever wanted to and grabbed the glass before the girl could reach it and drained it.

When she grabbed air, she turned to see the drink in Bellamy’s hand and he grinned at her, “I think you’re in my friend’s seat.”

“Ugh, whatever. Hang out with this trash,” the girl flipped her hair as she stumbled out of the booth.

“Watch yourself there, Barbie,” Raven laughed as the girl stormed past her.

“Thanks for that,” Bellamy grumbled and threw back the shot of whiskey Raven brought over to get rid of the fruity taste from his mouth.

“Not even going to wait for me?” Raven shook her head and threw back her own shot. “I don’t know how your sister or Clarke dealt with that all their lives.”

“It wasn’t pretty,” Bellamy took the second shot.

“What do you mean? I can see Octavia getting into some dirty fights, but not Clarke.”

“Nah, it wasn’t anything like that,” Bellamy paused to take a sip of his beer and Raven took her second shot. “You’ve seen the town we grew up in. Primarily white and upper middle class. Most people looked down on my family because my mom showed up pregnant with me then not long after got pregnant with Octavia. It was clear we didn’t have the same father especially looking at us, but my mom never wanted to talk about them so we never really asked. I was too young to remember who O’s father was and it’s not like she wanted to know who he was anyway,” Bellamy took another long pull of his beer and kept talking. “Growing up it was always Octavia and Clarke. Clarke made other friends, but none of the other girls would really accept Octavia into their group and that pissed Clarke off so she wouldn’t stay friends with them. Until,” Bellamy paused again and rubbed the back of his neck because this was always the worse part. “Until puberty hit.”

Raven barked out a laugh, “Let me guess, you got hot and all the girls wanted to be Octavia’s best friend.”

“It sounds ridiculous, but yeah. Towards the beginning of my high school years and the end of their middle school years, girls would start befriending Octavia and planning sleepovers at her house and then they would spend most of the night flirting badly with me when O and Clarke weren’t around. Then when they got into high school, I found one of their friends in my bed,” Bellamy rubbed a hand down his face remembering finding the little freshman girl stretched out on his bed in the shortest shorts and smallest tank tops ever. It freaked him out so much that he finally told O about all the girls.

“I wasn’t some prude in high school or anything, but these girls were younger than me and I _thought_ friends of my sister’s. I could handle the awkward flirting and the invitations to play spin the bottle, but that went a little far. I promised O that I would never sleep with one of her friends after that and she stopped having sleepovers at our house except for Clarke.”

“Yeah, except for the princess,” Raven grinned at him as she took a sip from her beer. “Okay, this is depressing enough. Let’s get drunk. This time I’m waving down a waitress. I can’t leave you alone apparently.”

When Bellamy woke the next morning with a pounding headache it an unreasonably soft bed, he realized he should not have allowed Raven to open a tab. _Shit_ , he thought to himself. He had a ten am meeting with the professor whose class he was going to TA for next year and he groaned.

“Stop the yelling,” a muffled voice mumbled from close by before a fist connected with his bare chest – _wait_ _bare?_ _What the fuck happened last night?_

Bellamy’s eyes snapped open and he glanced down to see himself wearing his boxers and socks, but laying in an unfamiliar bed. He glanced to his right to find an equally naked Raven sleeping in a tank top and a pair of the boy short underwear that Octavia tried to convince him once were regular shorts.

“Shit,” Bellamy jumped out of the bed. “What the fuck happened last night?” _Fuck, was Clarke here when they got in?_

“Judging by the pounding in my head and the cotton taste in my mouth, we got drunk last night, Blake,” Raven mumbled from her pillow.

Bellamy reached across the bed and shoved Raven who spun around and tried to punch him, “Knock it off, Bellamy!”

“Shut your mouth,” Bellamy clamped a hand over her mouth before brining a finger up to his to keep her quiet before he whispered, “Is Clarke home? Was she home last night?”

“I don’t remember, Bellamy. I don’t even know how we got here,” Raven sat up and rubbed a hand down her face.

“Damn it,” Bellamy began spinning around looking for the rest of his clothes, which didn’t help the spinning he had been trying to ignore since he woke up.

“Relax, Bellamy,” Raven pulled a pair of yoga pants from a drawer and grabbed a hoodie to throw on too. “We didn’t have sex.”

“How do you know?!” Bellamy whisper-shouted pulling his jeans on and grabbing his shoes. “You don’t remember _anything_ from last night!”

“Tell me, Bellamy. After you have sex, do you put your clothes back on to sleep? Because I don’t. Besides, I’m not as shitty as a friend as everyone likes to think I am. I don’t sleep with the guy my best friend is half in love with – no matter how drunk I am.”

“Wait, what?” Bellamy stopped searching for his shirt and looked at Raven who was also searching for his shirt.

“Focus, Blake! Find your clothes!” Raven’s eyes widened significantly like Octavia’s did when she says something she didn’t mean to.

After a few minutes of searching, Raven suggested it might be out in the living room, which Bellamy didn’t even want to think about why so instead he waited behind while Raven checked to make sure Clarke had already left and signaled that it was safe to come out. They searched the living room and just as Raven had found his shirt ( _behind the couch, why?_ ) Clarke walked into the apartment wearing running clothes and had her headphones plugged in, but stopped and pulled them out as she spotted him standing in her living room without a shirt on.

He would have been pretty proud of himself when he noticed Clarke checking him out, but it was outweighed by the sheer panic of her finding him in her apartment before seven am half-dressed.

“Hey, Clarke,” Raven sounded way too over-cheerful for her usual self.

Clarke’s eyes moved towards her and scanned down to see what she was wearing and seemed to visibly relax finding her fully dressed, but zeroed in on Bellamy’s shirt in her hand.

“So Bellamy and I got way drunk last night and he crashed here instead of going home,” Raven flung his shirt at him and he barely had time to catch it still waiting for Clarke’s reaction.

“I didn’t see you sleeping on the couch when I left for a run this morning, Bellamy,” Clarke’s eyes darted back to him and he couldn’t interpret the look in her blue eyes except that it made him feel like a bucket of ice was dropped on him. “Sorry if I woke you.”

“Uh, you didn’t, uh. Don’t worry about it,” Bellamy gave her a grin and hoped she believed him.

“Don’t you have a meeting with a professor this morning? You should grab your shoes. You don’t want to be late,” Clarke’s smile turned serene as she raised an eyebrow at him.

“Right, yeah. I do. Let me just grab them,” Bellamy spun around in a circle trying to remember where he put them down. Before, _shit, they’re still in Raven’s room_ and then he looked up to meet Raven’s eyes, which had narrowed knowing what he just realized.

“Clarke, nothing happened,” Raven started.

“Don’t, Raven,” Clarke held up a hand. “It’s not my business. You’re both adults. You’re both my friends. I’m happy if you’re happy. I should probably go shower. Good luck at your meeting.” Clarke turned and headed down the hall towards the bathroom.

“Clarke,” Bellamy started to follow her pulling on his t-shirt, but she slammed the door before he made it to the other end of the hallway.

“Hey,” Raven appeared next to him and said softly. “Give her a day or two. Once she gets out, I’ll talk to her and explain to her that nothing happened.”

Bellamy dropped his head against the wall and muttered, “I’m such a jackass.”

“Yeah, you are, but you’re her jackass. Get going. You still have to go all the way to midtown and back before ten. She’s going to be more pissed if you lose your TA position.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll talk to you later?” Bellamy glanced at her hoping his face wasn’t as hopeful as his voice, but judging by the look of pity on Raven’s face he failed.

“Yeah. I’ll text you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally going to wait to add Wick later, but a lot of people were asking about him and he was demanding to make an appearance so he popped up earlier than I anticipated.
> 
> So I want to hear what you guys think... 
> 
> Leave a comment or talk to me on tumblr (diaryofanerdygirlygirl.tumblr.com).
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	12. You're a "Rolling Stone" boy / "Never sleep alone" boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke reacts to Bellamy and Raven's surprise sleepover..
> 
> Title from Ghost by Halsey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have good news and I have bad news.
> 
> This is probably one of the shortest chapters I've ever written for this (bad news), but I have the next chapter completed (good news). However, it is just as short (bad news). So I'm going to post the next chapter in two weeks (good news) and work on creating reserve chapters so I can post more frequently (good news). Sooo maybe more good news than bad news?
> 
> Do you see what I did there? :)
> 
> Also, I made some minor changes to a previous chapter where I used the name Anya for somethings. I changed it to Lily. So if Anya pops up in the future again; don't worry, it's not an inconsistency.

Clarke closed the door and flipped the shower on before leaning against the bathroom door and took a deep breath to calm her racing heart. She’s being ridiculous, she told herself. It’s totally normal to catch Bellamy or Raven after a one-night stand. She grew up with one and lives with the other; it’s totally normal, but what’s not normal is catching Bellamy _and_ Raven on the _same_ morning after the _same_ one-night stand – _WITH EACH OTHER_.

Clarke shook her head and began pulling off her clothes and jumps in the warm shower. She knew something like this would happen. Raven had taken over Bellamy’s goal to sleep with the most people in Manhattan and Bellamy hadn’t taken a girl home since – she couldn’t remember when. And in a large group of people, like theirs, there was bound to be two people who wanted to be together – hell, look at Monty and Miller – they were still hiding it, but everyone knew.

 _Focus_ , _Clarke, it’s just Bellamy and Raven. It’s not the end of the world. They’re you’re friends and you’re happy for them._ _They’re you’re friends and you’re happy for them._

Clarke finished her shower and took a few extra minutes standing under the warm spray to calm her racing heart and to delay the inevitable conversation with Raven.

Clarke slowly opened the door and peaked out to find the apartment silent and Raven’s door shut. She took a deep breath and silently made her way to her bedroom where she could lock her door and turn her music up loud to avoid Raven for a few hours, but Raven had other plans.

As soon as Clarke opened the door, she spotted Raven sitting cross-legged on her bed and screamed.

“ _Jesus_ , Raven. What the hell?” Clarke clutched a hand over her heart and tried to hold her towel up (she was a little distracted and forgot to grab a change of clothes before her shower).

“Calm yourself, Griffin. I’m here to talk.”

“And it couldn’t wait? You had to scare the _shit_ out of me as soon as I got out of the shower?” Clarke crossed the room towards her dresser and closet and started pulling out her comfiest study clothes. She found her softest yoga pants, a baggy tank top, her favorite bright sports bra, and a red flannel that she was almost positive belonged to Wells.

“I knew you would come in here and lock your door and plug your headphones in and ignore me. So yes, I had to scare the _shit_ out of you. We’re going to talk before you spiral down whatever it is you spiral down when it involves Bellamy.”

Clarke scoffed and was about to tell Raven how very wrong she was (even if they both knew it was lie) when Raven just shot her a look that told her not to argue because she wasn’t done.

“Anyway,” Raven began loudly. “Nothing happened last night. We got drunk and passed out in the same bed. I knew he had this big meeting today and you know how much he hates sleeping on our couch. I tried to offer my bed, but he wasn’t having it. So we just shared and we were wearing clothes the entire time,” Raven held up a hand before Clarke could interject. “We might not have been wearing all of our clothes, but we were wearing all of the important ones.”

Clarke sighed deeply before she started pulling her clothes on not caring that Raven was sitting in her room – it was her own fault for surprising Clarke, “I don’t know why you’re bothering to tell me all of this. I really don’t care about what happens between you and Bellamy.”

“First off, nice ass.”

Clarke flipped Raven off over her shoulder and continued to dress.

“Second, you care about what Bellamy does. Just like he cares about what you do.”

“Yeah,” Clarke interrupted. “Because we grew up together and we promised Octavia we would look out for each other. Nothing more.”

“Clarke,” Raven said softly and that scared Clarke more than anything. “You need to stop lying to yourself. You care about Bellamy and it has nothing to do with Octavia – just like he cares about you.”

“Raven,” Clarke sighed. “You need to stop reading something that isn’t there. We’re just friends – yes, we’re close, but we’re no closer than the rest of us.”

Raven stood up and placed her hands on either of Clarke’s fully dressed shoulders, “I’m going to say this once and then I’ll let it go – for the foreseeable future, but not entirely because if I know you’re stupidity you’ll ignore it and be unhappy forever.” Raven squeezed her shoulders before beginning, “You’re in love with Bellamy. Just like he’s in love with you.”

“He’s not,” Clarke argued narrowing her eyes at Raven.

“Yes, he is. And you haven’t denied it, either. Here’s the thing, he’s still trying to figure it out and you’re teetering on the edge of figuring it out. I’m not going to push you because it will take you longer to get there on your own, but just know I’m here for you. Y’know if you want to talk or anything,” Raven gave her a genuine smile before hugging her and walking out of the room.

“Raven,” Clarke called after her, but didn’t turn to see her standing in the doorway. “I have – I’ve thought about it – a lot and. I just can’t go there. He’s my oldest friend’s brother and my good friend. And – it just can’t happen. Because when it ends, it will be so bad that it will destroy our entire group and I can’t do that. I can’t do that to anyone. So please, can we just forget all of this?”

“You’re scared of it ending, but have you thought of what if it didn’t?”

“Have you met us?” Clarke scoffed. “We would kill each other before we hit a week. Not to mention the fact that Bellamy can’t ever date one girl for longer than a night.”

“Okay, really? That’s low. You know he’s been better about that. Ever since Echo. He doesn’t have one-night stands anymore and you and I both know that he is so head over heels for you. And I have no doubt that with you – he would be the perfect boyfriend.” 

Clarke rolled her eyes, “When did you get so sentimental, Reyes?”

Raven gave a wicked grin, “Maybe since I’ve seen what _true love_ can do?” She couldn’t finish this sentence without cackling.

Clarke laughed before pausing to allow the seriousness of the conversation to seep back into it.

“Raven,” Clarke sighed. “It’s just not going to happen. We would – I don’t know. It just wouldn’t work – long term.”

Raven groaned, “Clarke, I have met you both and when you let yourselves love, you love with everything in you. And like that stupid movie that Finn loved: It’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be really hard. The two of you will have to work at it everyday. And you want that because you want all of him, everyday or something equally vomit-inducing like that.”

Clarke snorted and turned a smile on her friend, “Did you just quote _The Notebook_ to me?”

Raven shrugged, “Finn was an asshole with bad taste in movies. The only good thing about that movie is it got me laid more times than I want to count.”

Clarke’s smile turned melancholy before she wrapped her arms around herself, “Raven. Can we keep this between us? For now?”

“Absolutely,” Raven nodded. “Just one last thing. That boy was a complete wreck when he left here. Try not to alienate him for too long, okay?”

Clarke sighed, but didn’t bother responding as Raven left and she began pulling out her homework for the week.

 

It only took a few days before the news hit the West Coast. Clarke was up late working on an essay for her Political Theories class, one she hated and was only getting through at this point because of Bellamy. But now she was simply ignoring his calls and his texts and pretending not to be home when he came looking for her.

She was in the middle of an argument about political realism and Machiavelli and Hobbes when her FaceTime app started ringing on her laptop scaring her out of her focus. Clarke saw Octavia’s name pop up before accepting the call realizing she needed to take a break or these dead philosophers were going to get a visit from her soon.

“Hey O!” Clarke smiled when her best friend’s face popped onto the screen.

 _“What did my asshole brother do this time?”_ Octavia glanced at something off the screen and nodded.

“What?” Clarke turned her head as if she could see who was in the room with her.

 _“Bellamy. What did he do to make you mad at him?”_ Octavia sighed heavily.

“I’m not mad at him. Why would you think that?”

 _“Because he said you were,”_ Octavia paused. _“Well he asked if I had heard from you and when I asked why, he said he wanted to know how you were doing – that you guys hadn’t talked in a few days.”_

Clarke groaned, “I saw him like three days ago. I’ve been busy. I’m currently working on a paper for my Political Theories class.”

_“Wasn’t Bell helping you with that paper?”_

“Yeah, he was. And he did. Now I’m just writing it.”

Octavia rolled her eyes, “ _Please. I know you and Bell better than anyone. What the hell’s going on?_ ”

“Nothing, O,” Clarke sighed and glanced at her color coded notes. “Listen, I’ve got to get back to –“

Octavia cut her off, “ _Does this have to do with the other night?”_

“What?” Clarke looked back at her computer screen.

Octavia rolled her eyes, _“Raven called me and told me what happened. Said you were freaking out and Bell was wandering around like someone killed his puppy_.” Octavia gave her a pointed look before continuing, “ _You know nothing happened between them, right?”_

“Yes, O,” Clarke sighed and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “I don’t understand why everything thinks I care about what Bellamy and Raven do in their spare time. I really, really don’t.”

 _“Oh, god, Clarke! You and Bell are killing me. You’re literally giving me gray hair. Do you see this? Grey hair!”_ Octavia leaned into the screen showing her hair to Clarke, which looked a little lighter than her normal brunette, but was more likely due to the California sun then anything Bellamy or Clarke did.

 _“Octavia_ ,” came a deep, very male voice from somewhere in Octavia’s room.

“Who is that?” Clarke leaned forward again trying to get a glimpse into her best friend’s bedroom through her computer.

 _“No one – nothing. Gotta go, Clarkey! Love you! And forgive my idiot brother already! Bye!”_ Octavia ended the call and Clarke’s screen returned to her paper as if nothing had happened and with the late hour Clarke was starting to think she had dreamed it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter isn't really great and unlike Bellamy's "big moment" Clarke's already had hers and this is her first time admitting it even as a never going to happen possibility to someone other than herself. 
> 
> Come talk to me on [tumblr](http://thediaryofanerdygirlygirl.tumblr.com/)


	13. Maybe We Found Love Right Where We Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy knows Clarke a lot better than he or Raven realized.
> 
> Title from Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran.

Two weeks. Two weeks since everything blew up in his face.

Bellamy rubbed his face again and took a deep breath. This was getting ridiculous, he thought. He reached for his phone sitting at the table in front of his couch. Bellamy pressed the button to light the screen up and saw his background picture and time (showing no new messages). 

Bellamy sighed again and dropped the phone back on the table not wanting to look at the picture Octavia took on his phone and programmed as his wallpaper. It was taken last summer when Octavia was home and him, O, and Clarke were visiting home in between work and summer classes. The three of them were sitting on the beach with Clarke in the middle and Octavia on her right and Bellamy on her left taking the picture with his longer arms – all three were smiling wide.

He needed to fix this – and fix it now. He stood up and grabbed his coat and headed out of the apartment before running into Miller.

“Hey, where you going?” Miller asked as he closed the front door.

“Just – out.”

“Right, dude. Going to win Clarke back, aren’t you?” Miller gave him a smirk.

“Yeah, whatever,” Bellamy rubbed the back of his neck.

Miller sighed, “Please. Because I am tired of watching you mope around this apartment for the last two weeks.”

“I was not moping,” Bellamy began to argue.

“You were moping. In fact, Monty was so worried about you that he cancelled three dates so I would be forced to stay with you. Three dates, Blake. Three dates.”

“I thought you and Monty were just hanging out?” Bellamy teased as he shuffled past his roommate.

“God damn it, Blake. Now is not the time to be judging my love life. Go make up with your girl,” Miller shout could be heard through the door slamming and as Bellamy made his way down the hall.

Bellamy pulled up his contacts and skimmed over Clarke’s name knowing she wasn’t going to pick up and decided if he needed to know where she was, it was best to call Raven, then Monty.

“Reyes,” Raven answered after two rings.

“Do you really answer your phone like that?”

“Nah. I just wanted to see what you would say. And before you ask – I have caller ID, Bellamy. Your name and this ridiculous photo pop up when you call.”

“The one from Halloween senior year of college?”

“Yup. That’s the one,” Raven paused. “Okay, now I know you didn’t call to ask what your contact picture is. So what’s up, Blake?”

“Do you know where Clarke is?”

“Fucking finally!” Bellamy rolled his eyes as Raven continued. “Okay so she didn’t tell me exactly where she was going – probably because she didn’t want me to tell you.”

“What did she say?”

“She said she had to study, but the library was too quiet. How is a library too quiet? And why does someone need noise when she needs to study?”

“She needs noise when she’s afraid she’ll get stuck in her own head and that happens a lot when she’s stressed about something. Music doesn’t really help because she gets lost in the music which is similar enough to getting lost in her own head.”

“Wow. I’m mildly concerned about whatever wavelength the two of you are on.”

“How long ago did she leave?”

“I don’t know. Two hours ago, maybe? What does this tell you about where she is?”

“It doesn’t. It tells me what snack foods to bring. It’s not late enough for sugar and too early for dinner.”

“Wow. Now I’m really concerned. Does she know this much about you?”

Bellamy shrugged and then remembered Raven couldn’t see him, “Listen, I’ve got this handled. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Whatever. I’m calling your sister. She owes me twenty bucks.”

“I’m not going to ask.”

“Bye, loser,” Raven ended the call.

Twenty minutes later and Bellamy arrived at the coffee shop two blocks from Clarke’s apartment. From outside on the sidewalk Bellamy could see the mess of blonde hair sitting in the far corner with her back to the window. Unlike every other time they met there, Clarke had her headphones in so Bellamy entered and smiled at the old man who owned the place and ordered his usual coffee.

“She’s been here for almost three hours and had three cups of coffee. Did you bring her something to soak it up?” George rang up Bellamy’s coffee at half price and slid it across the counter to him. 

“You do – you know – sell pastries here that you can force her to eat,” Bellamy smiled back at the man.

“You and I both know she doesn’t need that kind of sugar now – it’s too late,” George gave him a pointed look.

“Thanks,” Bellamy gave George the correct change and then dropped the remainder in the tip jar. It was a deal they struck up many weeks ago. George was good at figuring out his customers and always gave discounts to the ones he liked – like Clarke and Bellamy. And to make up for it, Clarke and Bellamy always gave the balance of the money into the tip jar. Clarke liked to call it paying it forward (she didn’t care that paying it forward meant she couldn’t give back to the person who gave to her) and Bellamy liked to call it giving a nice guy a tax break (he figured if it were cash, George wouldn’t have to claim it. Clarke hated that theory – she had a hard time breaking the rules).

“Good luck,” George gave Bellamy a knowing look before turning back to the next customer.

Bellamy made his way over to Clarke’s table and he could see she had her books spread out across the small two person table and was typing away furiously on her laptop. He was a little surprised she took up that much room, but with all her thick textbooks it wasn’t that surprising. Normally when he met her here he had a small portion of the table. She would always say that his Greek books didn’t take up as much room as her law books. Bellamy use to counter that the Greeks were able to be metaphorical and to the point at the same time, while the Supreme Court wrote five fifteen-page opinions per case. 

“Hey, princess,” Bellamy slid into the seat across from her and placed his surprise under the table without her seeing.

“Jesus, Bellamy!” Clarke placed a hand over her heart. “You scared the crap out of me!”

Bellamy smirked and gestured to her headphones.

“What?!” It couldn’t be possible for Clarke’s voice to get louder so Bellamy reached over and tugged one of the ear buds out. 

“Oh, right,” Clarke switched the music off her laptop and took the other ear bud out. “What are you doing here?”

“Raven said you were studying so I thought I’d stop by and bring you a snack.”

“I’m studying in a bakery/coffee shop. There are plenty of snacks here.”

“But you need a certain kind of snack. Even George agrees,” Bellamy motioned towards the older man who gave a wave and a nod before turning back to his work.

“Well of course,” Clarke rolled her eyes. “It’s too late for breakfast food. Too early for sugar and not late enough for dinner.”

Bellamy smirked and reached down under the table to pick up the pizza box, “That’s why I brought this.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes at the box and then at him, “Why are you being nice?”

“I’m always nice,” Bellamy shrugged without meeting her eyes so Clarke crossed her arms and placed them on the table and stared him down. He knew after all the years that she was stubborn enough to sit like this in silence until he broke – so broke he did.

“Okay, okay,” Bellamy raised his hands in surrender. “I just – I wanted to make sure we were, uh, okay?”

“Why wouldn’t we be okay?” Clarke dropped her arms and gave him a curious look.

“Because you haven’t talked to me in two weeks,” Bellamy leaned forward on the table. “It’s been radio silence from you for two weeks.”

“What? I talk to you every day. I texted you this morning.”

“Yeah,” Bellamy shook his head as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and pulled Clarke’s message thread up. “All you said was ‘ok’. That’s it Clarke!”

“All you said was ‘if you need help with your paper let me know’!” Clarke shouted back.

“And that same paper, is the one, that two weeks ago, you were complaining about every hour. And then the thing with Raven happened and radio silence,” Bellamy made a broad sweeping motions with both arms.

“Ah ha! So you admit something happened with Raven? That it wasn’t nothing and you’re just friends like she’s been giving me the last ten days.”

Bellamy sighed and dropped his head on the table, “Nothing happened, Clarke. We fell asleep wearing our clothes. It was the least excited moment of our friends. In fact, the most exciting moment of our friendship happened a half hour ago when I called her to look for you.”

“What happened when you called her?” Clarke asked quietly.

Bellamy picked his head up, “She didn’t know where you were so she told me what you said and I was able to figure out where you were.” 

“What did she tell you that I told her?” Clarke was focused on her cup of coffee sitting off to the side, which was probably cold.

Bellamy sighed, “Do you not believe me? She said you told her that you needed to study, but the library was too quiet. Whenever you get stressed you get stuck in your own head and you can’t be at the library so you come here.”

Clarke looked at him with a shocked expression, “How did – what?”

“Forget it,” Bellamy waved it off. “I just want to make sure we’re still good and then I’ll get out of your hair.”

“We’re good, Bellamy. Why would you think we’re not?”

“Because you thought I slept with Raven?”

“I did think you slept with Raven, but why would I be mad about that? You’re both my friends and if you’re happy, then I’m happy. Especially you, Bell. You deserve it. Raven, too, but – whatever,” Clarke grinned at him and Bellamy felt himself relax.

“We didn’t sleep together. Like in the literal sense of the word – as in the same bed. That’s it.”

“Again, I don’t care,” Clarke’s grin never wavered. 

“Okay, then – I’ll get going,” Bellamy tapped the table with his fist before standing and slinging his messenger bag onto one shoulder.

“Or you could stay?” Clarke offered quietly.

“Really?” Bellamy tried not to allow the hopefulness to creep into his voice (and failed miserably). 

“Yeah, this political realism paper is kicking my ass. And – I could use someone to talk to,” Clarke smiled hopefully at him.

“Yeah, of course,” Bellamy was quick to add before sitting back down. “I’m always here for you to talk to, you know that.”

Clarke grinned at him and began shuffling books around to make room before opening the pizza box, “So you were planning to stay anyway? Two slices of cheese and two slices of pepperoni?” Clarke shook her head.

“What the guy asked for the usual and I said ‘yes’ without thinking,” Bellamy shrugged as he grabbed a slice of pepperoni and took a bite.

“Unbelievable,” Clarke muttered under her breath and Bellamy smiled to himself starting to see their old relationship slipping in again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think. I'm sorry for the short chapter, but it was a necessary evil. However, it was full of loads of fluff so I hope that helps.
> 
> Next chapter will be up on October 17th and it's similar to the last three chapters in it's the first part of a multiple chapter arc. It's also one of my favorites and I've been looking forward to writing it all along and I've just started it. 
> 
> Come talk to me on [tumblr](http://thediaryofanerdygirlygirl.tumblr.com/)!


	14. God Bless the Broken Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It used to be hard when she was in denial, but then Raven had to go and have all these conversations about feelings.
> 
> Title from Rascal Flatts (only because I wrote it down for this chapter weeks ago and haven't found anything better).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So I know I said I was going to take a hiatus and I still am, but.... It's my birthday and I'm not telling you this because I want lots of birthday comments (although that would be nice). I'm telling you this because I'm all in the giving spirit so I am giving you probably one of my favorite chapters to write so far in this story. I've been looking forward to writing this one forever and I forced myself not to skip ahead and write it before I wrote any of the others (BIG mistake).

“Ah, the good ole times, right, Bellamy?” Jasper asks with a wink and a nod.

“No,” Bellamy deadpans. “The worst two weeks of my life.”

“Well, yeah,” Jasper responds ineloquently. 

“I doubt it was the worst two weeks in your life,” Octavia rolls her eyes. “Stop being so melodramatic, Bell.”

“No, it was the worst two weeks of my life. I’ve had some bad times, but never any that lasted two weeks. Some lasted more and some lasted less.”

“Right,” Octavia nods without meeting anyone’s eyes. “More.”

 

It’s two a.m. when her phone rang. It’s the start of her senior year at Columbia and she groaned at being woken up on one of the rare nights that she got to go to bed early.

“Bellamy, this better be important,” Clarke let her face drop back into her pillow.

“Not Bellamy. Sorry to bother you. I assume you’re the person named ‘princess’?” A vaguely familiar voice came over the line.

“Yes. Well, my name is Clarke, but he calls me ‘princess’. Did something happen to him? Why are you calling me from his phone?” Clarke immediately sat up upon hearing the voice that did not belong to Bellamy.

“Well, you see,” the other voice paused. “Basically, he’s drunk. I’m the bartender. He asked me not to tell you that he was drunk, but I’m pretty sure you can figure it out once you get here.”

Clarke groaned as she stood up and started pulling clothes on, “You do realize I live on the Upper West Side and he’s drunk in a bar in Midtown. Why didn’t he have you call Miller?” 

“I don’t know who Miller is. He asked for the princess. And he’s not in a bar in Midtown. He’s on the Upper West Side. Wait – is this Clarke?”

Clarke paused in slipping on her Converses, “Yeah.”

“Oh, thank god. It’s Wick. I’m friends with Raven?”

“Oh! The guy who keeps asking her out and she keeps shooting down. Got it.”

“Listen, that’s so not –“ 

“I’m on my way. Start forcing water and pretzels down his throat. I’ll be there in twenty,” Clarke interrupted as she headed out the door.

It took Clarke a half hour to get to the bar that is her and Raven’s favorite and the one Bellamy started working at last year by the time she gets there it’s closer to three, but still not last call yet – it is New York after all – the city that never sleeps.

Clarke pushed her way inside after explaining to the bouncer that she was just here to pick up a friend. He still demanded she pay until she said that friend was Bellamy and he let her go. She made her way up to the bar and immediately spotted Bellamy with his head down on a most likely sticky counter and Wick standing next to him talking quietly.

“Hey,” Clarke poked Bellamy in the side as she stood next to him, knowing he’s ticklish there.

“Princess!” Bellamy picked his head up and shouted.

“Oh, hi Bell?” Clarke raised an eyebrow at him and turned to Wick. “You weren’t kidding.”

“Nope,” Wick popped the p. “I never kid about a drunk Bellamy Blake. It’s been fucking awesome.” Wick gave Clarke a mischievous grin that reminded her too much of Raven. 

“What happened?” Clarke turned to Bellamy because the last time he got this drink, his mom was going on her first date in probably twenty years.

“Nothing happened – yet,” Bellamy poked her nose and swayed on his stool.

“Bellamy. Last time you got this drunk was when Aurora went on a date,” Clarke reminded.

“He got drunk because his mom went on a date?” Wick leaned over the bar.

“It’s a long story. He doesn’t do well with changes,” Clarke responded without taking her eyes off Bellamy. She can see something is up. He’s acting a bit shifty and not meeting her eyes exactly, but he still has this shit-eating grin on his face so she’s really confused.

“Well that would explain a lot then.”

Clarke’s eyes darted to Wick, “What do you mean?”

“He came in around eight, sat down, and started pounding shots back. He turned down four different girls and as a completely unobservant straight male who is not into any girls who are not your roommate – they were hot. Like really hot. Don’t tell Raven,” Wick looked pained when he mentioned Raven, but Clarke just rolled her eyes.

“Alright, Bell. Let’s get going.” Clarke reached out and grabbed his bicep to pull him off the stool. He stumbled slightly as he got his feet under him and wrapped an arm around Clarke’s shoulders as Clarke gave a little wave to Wick who had wandered off to help another customer.

Once they were outside in the fresh air, Bellamy seemed to sober – only slightly. The bouncer who gave Clarke a hard time on her way in nodded at Bellamy who hand slipped down to wrap around Clarke’s and pulled her down the street towards her apartment. She figured they would be heading there, but it’s nice to know even in his drunk state he’s not going to make her head back down to his apartment.

They walked a few blocks in silence and the entire way Bellamy held her hand and swung it back in forth, like Octavia did when they were younger – and she lets him, only so she can ask him – 

“What happened, Bellamy?”

“Nothing. Why does something always have to happen?”

“Because you don’t get drunk. Not drunk like this –“ Clarke picked up their joined hands and swung them harder to show him. “The last time I saw you like this –“

Bellamy’s groan cut her off, “Just relax, princess, please? Maybe I just wanted to get blackout drunk for once.”

“You’re not blackout drunk, Bellamy,” Clarke paused. “Did something happen at school? Is it your financial aid? Did your thesis advisor say something?”

Bellamy rubbed a hand down his face and groaned again – loudly, “I didn’t fail out of school, princess. But thanks for thinking so little of me.” 

Clarke couldn’t see his face, but she heard the sneer in his voice and the anger. She knew Bellamy was drunk when she stopped short and pulled Bellamy back half a step.

“You know I don’t think that. I’m just worried about you, Bell. You’ve always been the one to take care of other people and now look at you,” Clarke made a sweeping motion of his beer stained clothes smelling like bar and his normally messy hair sticking up in various directions like he kept running his hands throughout it all night.

Bellamy shook his head and dropped her hand before walking quickly down the street towards her apartment. Clarke sighed before jogging to catch up to him. He must have realized he was being an ass because she caught up to him half a block later – which she never would have if he was really angry.

“Bellamy, please,” Clarke said quietly reaching out to grab his hand again.

Bellamy spun around and opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself and Clarke visibly deflated.

“Not tonight, Clarke. Please,” Bellamy’s voice was so quiet she barely heard it on the busy nighttime street.

“You promise you’ll talk to me – or Octavia or Miller when you’re ready?”

“I promise to talk to you, princess, when I’m ready,” Bellamy gave her a lopsided grin that stopped her heart and she had to physically shake her head to clear it from the thoughts that had been following her around for the last few months.

“Let’s get upstairs,” Clarke pulled him behind her into her building and turned right towards the stairs avoiding the drunk hook ups that would inevitably happen in an elevator in a building filled primarily of Columbia undergrad students.

They were making their way up the last landing when they pass two kids – probably no older than Sophomores groping each other in a corner and Clarke could feel her face flush, but she turned back to Bellamy when she felt him squeeze her hand.

“Shit,” he muttered quietly before letting go of her hand and placing both on her hips and forcing her forward.

“What?” Clarke turned to look at him, but his chest was flush to her back as he kept guiding her towards her door.

“Just hurry, please.”

Clarke fumbled trying to get her key into her door and was beyond aware of Bellamy still standing at her back with his hands on her hips and it took a few tries, but for all his hurrying, Bellamy didn’t rush her.

Once Clarke heard the click of her lock, Bellamy pushed her into her apartment and followed, quickly shutting and locking the door behind him.

“That was a close one,” Bellamy hung his head with his hands still bracing the door like he was scared someone else was going to try and come in behind them.

“What – just happened?”

“I always forget you live with a bunch of the students I TA for. I saw a girl from one of the Ancient History sections my advisor teaches. She was flirting with me like the first day. She thought she could sleep with me and get an A – like I was some nerdy guy who would be so excited for a girl to just talk to him,” Bellamy shook his head before turning around to lean against the door.

“You life is so fucking dramatic,” Clarke rolled her eyes and headed towards the kitchen.

“Hey, language, princess,” Bellamy admonished while Clarke tried to get the Tylenol that Raven continually kept putting back on the top shelf to spite Clarke. 

“Why are you so short?” Bellamy reached above Clarke for the Tylenol, but the angle made his hips press into her ass and push her against the counter.

“Why are you such an ass?” Clarke sputtered feeling her face heat up.

“Touché. Do you have a hangover I don’t know about?” Bellamy shook the bottle of Tylenol.

“No, ass. I was getting it for you,” Clarke grabbed a bottle of water and thrust it into his chest and made her way to the closet to get blankets and pillows for the couch.

While Clarke was making a bed for Bellamy, she took a deep breath trying to calm her racing heart down and really wished that Wick called someone else. Because she forgot how tactile Bellamy got when he was this drunk. It used to be hard when she was in denial, but then Raven had to go and have all these conversations about feelings. And now she was going out of her mind every time Bellamy even came near her and that was with both of them sober – now it was down right impossible. Clarke was hell bent on making it possible because he was drunk and something was clearly wrong and while she wanted something with him – she definitely didn’t want it when he was drunk or just for one night. 

“Hey,” Bellamy’s soft voice surprised her in how close he was. She was stuck in her own head and didn’t even hear him approach.

“Hey,” Clarke glanced over her shoulder at him.

“I’m really sorry for dragging you into this. It’s just – I didn’t know,” Bellamy sighed and Clarke saw the fear and sadness in his eyes.

“Hey,” Clarke took a step closer to him. “It’s okay. Whatever is going on – we’ll figure it out, okay?”

“Okay,” Bellamy paused before giving her a half smile. “Can we figure it out later though?”

“Of course,” Clarke felt her lips quirk up in a smile. “Why don’t you get some sleep and we’ll talk in the morning – when you’re sober.”

“Yeah. Night, princess.” Bellamy leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her lips before flopping down on the couch. Clarke quickly shook her head and hurried to the bathroom so he wouldn’t see how red her face got. He was probably too drunk to notice, but Clarke needed to splash some water on her face.

Clarke spent a few more minutes than she normally spent in the bathroom trying to slow her beating heart. He just kissed me – like it was nothing, kept running through her head. She tried not to lick her lips hoping for a taste of him, but she was beyond hopeless at this point. She was completely halfway (not really, it was whole heartedly) in love with one of her closest friends – who also happened to be her best friend’s older brother. She was such a cliché. 

Clarke had her head bowed over the sink with her hands bracing either side when she took a deep breath and lifted her head to meet her own steely blue gaze. “Get yourself together, Griffin,” Clarke said to her reflection before taking a deep breath and making her way to her room. She decided to completely bypass the living room where Bellamy was sleeping for her own sanity.

Clarke slipped into her room without bothering to turn the light on. She kicked off her shoes and pulled off her sweat pants and the thick cardigan she threw on over her tiny tank top and boy shorts underwear.

“I should have warned you before you started that I was here,” Bellamy’s voice carried across the room.

Clarke dropped to the floor and placed a hand over her heart. “Holy shit, Bellamy. What the fuck?” Clarke whisper-shouted back.

“Sorry.” Clarke couldn’t see him, but she knew he could hear the lack of contrition in his own voice.

“Ass. I’m not putting clothes back on. I’m sleeping like this in my own bed,” Clarke pushed herself to her feet and made her way across the room to her bed.

“Don’t worry. I took most of my clothes off too.”

“Why are you in here, Bellamy?”

“I hate your couch.”

“I know that, but you always sleep on it.”

“Clarke,” Bellamy’s tone gave a warning. “Please.”

“Fine. Just this one time, but stay on your side of the damn bed, okay?”

“Okay.” 

Clarke could hear the smile in his voice and she climbed into the bed and made sure to leave enough room between the two of them. Once she was situated as comfortably as she could get, she took a deep breath and felt Bellamy’s arm snake across her waist and pull her flush against him. Fuck, she thought. Again.

“Bellamy,” Clarke warned.

“Clarke.”

Clarke couldn’t see him, but she could hear him smiling again and goddamn it – why does this stuff keep happening to her?

“Just keep your hands to yourself, okay?” Clarke said quietly.

“Sure thing, princess,” Bellamy responded, but pulled her even closer and buried his face in her hair.

“After all this, we are definitely talking about whatever happened.”

“Way to kill the mood, princess.”

“Go to sleep, Bellamy.”

“Night, Clarke.”

“Night, Bellamy.”

The next morning, Clarke woke up laying on her back with a passed out Bellamy across her chest using her breasts as a pillow. She always knew he liked them, but this was a bit extreme. She wiggled her way out from underneath him and slipped out into the hallway to find Raven already making coffee in the kitchen wearing a baggy t-shirt and no pants.

“Hey. Where did you go last night?” Raven handed her a mug.

“The bar. Wick called from Bellamy’s phone. He was drunk and told Wick to call me.”

“Why? And when does he get drunk without us?”

“I’ve been trying to figure that out since I got the call,” Clarke took a huge sip of her coffee. “Sorry. Did we wake you last night?”

“Nah, I was heading to the bathroom when I heard you leaving. I never heard you come back. It’s not good to have a roommate who sleeps like the dead. Next time knock on my door to let me know you’re home, okay?”

Clarke laughed, “Sure thing, Raven.”

“Morning,” Bellamy appeared in the kitchen looking rumpled and hungover. “I should get going. I have class in like an hour.” 

“Okay. Do you want some coffee to go?” Clarke moved toward the pot and became aware of the fact that she still wasn’t wearing pants before she grabbed the extra to go mug they always seemed to collect from random places.

“Thanks,” Bellamy rubbed his face before leaning against the door jam.

Clarke poured him some black coffee and dropped a bunch of pure sugar into it before handing it to him.

“I’ll call you later,” Bellamy mumbled before taking a sip of the coffee. “And thanks again – for last night.”

“Of course,” Clarke smiled.

Bellamy leaned forward and placed a kiss on Clarke’s forehead and called out a goodbye to Raven before disappearing out the door.

“Holy shit,” Raven breathed as soon as the door shut.

“Raven,” Clarke warned and both held their breaths for a few seconds before it was safe to assume Bellamy had left.

“He SLEPT in YOUR ROOM?” Raven immediately started when they heard that the elevator doors had closed.

“I put him to bed on the couch,” Clarke pointed towards the living room. “I went to the bathroom and when I got to my room he was already there.”

“How long were you in the bathroom for, Clarke?”

“I was trying to calm myself down. He’s very touchy when he’s drunk.”

“Oh shit,” Raven plopped onto the kitchen chair.

“Yeah,” Clarke followed her. “Oh shit.”

“What happened? He only gets that drunk when something bad happens.”

“I know. He promised he would tell me later.”

“Well, whatever it is – make sure you tell him we’re all here for him – no matter what.”

Clarke sighed into her coffee mug, “I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So with this posted, I'm still on hiatus. I'm going to write when I have time, but the next few chapters get kind of deep and I don't want to leave you hanging. Most of this is just fluffy fun with a little bit of angst so I feel okay leaving you hanging for awhile. I am really sorry about that, but I do want to say thank you to all the people who left such nice comments about my hiatus. I discovered over the two weeks I quit writing that not having at least a day for myself is not good. So I am forcing myself to stop studying for one day a week. I just don't know if I'll have time to write on those days. Again, thank you so much everyone! It was so nice reading everything you had to say!
> 
> Come talk to me on [tumblr](http://thediaryofanerdygirlygirl.tumblr.com/)!


	15. That Lead Me Straight to You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy had felt like an idiot ever since that day at Clarke’s. He had classes and TA sessions and writing his dissertation – all on top of this secret. All because she asked him to keep it: It’s important, Bellamy. That’s why I’m telling you. I need you to understand. I need you to know why, Bellamy. It’s my decision, Bellamy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi.. (waves hand awkwardly). I know I keep saying I'm going to disappear and then I keep popping up, but I found out a few weeks ago that the case I was working on in clinic wasn't going to court so I've had some spare time and - long story short. I really hit writer's block. I couldn't figure this chapter out and it's a really important chapter for the whole story. I was able to write bits and pieces of later chapters so I have like random parts of the story saved.
> 
> The way I originally wrote this in my head all those months ago wasn't working. I wrote it how I imagined it and it was only like 1k words - if that and I didn't like it. I wrote Bellamy way to OOC, but I'm not one of those people that can just delete something that I've written. I normally just overhaul it so it sat finished for weeks and I hated it trying to think how to fix it and then decided to just delete all but the first paragraph (which ended up needing major revision anyway) and then just spent the last like three hours writing it non-stop.
> 
> The other reason why this chapter is so hard is in the end notes because spoilers.

Bellamy had felt like an idiot ever since that day at Clarke’s. He had classes and TA sessions and writing his dissertation – all on top of this _secret_. All because she asked him to keep it: _It’s important, Bellamy. That’s why I’m telling you. I need you to understand. I need you to know_ why, _Bellamy_. _It’s my decision, Bellamy._

 

That was two weeks ago. He’s been avoiding Clarke for just as long. It’s had been surprisingly easy. Which is something that should have worried him – that he can avoid the girl he loves for two weeks and not go crazy. He used to worry if he hadn’t heard from her in two hours.

 

And now it’s been two weeks without anything. Well, she’s texted and called non-stop since that night and it has been mostly threatening (her way of showing she cares) messages: _Bellamy, I swear to God if you don’t answer me I am going to track you down and poke you to death and you know I learned how to poke from the master. Right between the ribs_.

 

(He remembered. Octavia may have been the master, but Clarke had the natural talent. He spent a lot of time growing up being poked in between his ribs at inopportune moments – like when he was sleeping.)

 

But the worst messages he got were the ones that broke his heart: _Please Bellamy. I’m worried about you. Please. Just talk to me._

 

It all hurt that he was causing her pain, but he had to do this. One look at her and he would break – he would tell her everything and he couldn’t. He couldn’t tell her because he made a promise and every waking moment since making that promise was making sure _no one_ knew.

 

It was Friday afternoon and he was packing to go home again. He had been spending the last two weekends home with his mom, but he was running late. He typically left around 4 before all the rush hour traffic out of the City, but he got stuck scheduling the midterms for the class he TAs and now it’s after six and he knows he won’t get any work done on the train.

 

The door slammed shut and he sighed because he’s was also being an asshole and avoiding Miller, but he knows that for as quiet as Miller is, he’s equally as observant and one look at him and Miller would know.

 

He was throwing the last of his clothes in an overnight bag when his bedroom door flew open and banged into the opposite wall. He spun around so fast that he tripped over his bag of books sitting next to his feet and some how landed on the floor with his back pressed against his bed.

 

“Jesus Christ,” Bellamy muttered and rubbed a hand down his face before looking up and coming face to face with Clarke. She’s had her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes are like ice and he’s seen this look on her before, but never in all the years he’s known her – and antagonized her – has she directed that look at him. Typically it’s reserved for her mother and it always reminds him of a warrior princess headed into battle – and yeah, he knows how far gone he is for this girl and how he’s that much of a nerd that his daydreams tend to be mythological or historically related in some way – and yeah, Clarke’s been in a number of them over the years (he already feels gross about it).

 

“We go to the same school and I know your schedule better than my own most days and yet, it still took me two weeks to track you down, Bellamy Blake.”

 

Her eyes start out as ice, but something deflates in her posture and the ice melts and she blinks as if there are tears there, but the room is semi-dark and she’s standing with her back to the hallway which was lighting her up from behind so he couldn’t be sure.

 

“Are you avoiding me? Did I do something wrong?” Clarke’s voice was watery and he knew there has to be tears.

 

“No!” Bellamy jumped to his feet, but stumbled over the bag again and he kicked it out of his way only to stub his toe on one of the thick books. “Damn in,” he muttered before turning to look at Clarke again. “No. You didn’t do anything wrong – it’s me.”

 

“Why can’t you talk to me then?” Clarke slid to the floor to sit across from him and leaned against the door jam.

 

“Because,” Bellamy sighed deeply and placed his face in his hands. “Because if I talk to you, then I have to tell you and I can’t tell you, but I want to tell you. I want to tell someone and the only person I can think of is you.”

 

“Okay,” Clarke said quietly and watched him. “Is it something school related?”

 

“No,” Bellamy shook his head and placed his elbows on his knees twisting his fingers together and hanging his head.

 

“Is it money?” Clarke asked quietly.

 

Bellamy let out a surprised laugh, “No.”

 

“Is it Octavia?”

 

Bellamy glanced up at her, but didn’t say anything.

 

“Is she okay? Did something happen with her at school? Why didn’t she call me?”

 

“It’s not Octavia, exactly. It’s something I can’t tell O and if I tell you, you’ll want to tell her.”

 

“And why can’t we tell Octavia?” The angry look on Clarke’s face is enough to make a small smile cross his face. Even with them so far apart – literally – they still have each other’s backs. It will always be Octavia and Clarke against the world and he couldn’t be happier that it’s his – the two of them and that’s exactly what kept him from telling Clarke.

 

“Because it’s not my secret to tell her,” Bellamy finally decided on.

 

“Okay,” Clarke took a deep breath. “So it’s someone else’s secret. Someone who doesn’t want Octavia to know and someone who knows that I’ll tell her.”

 

Bellamy just watched her as she tried to work the puzzle out and then a hurt look crossed her face before she turns eyes of steel on him.

 

“Did you get someone pregnant?”

 

Bellamy’s mouth opened and closed a few times and he didn’t have any response to that besides, “What? How? Where did – How did you go from that to that?”

 

He knew he was floundering around like a fish and looked like an idiot, but Clarke’s face never changed.

 

“You didn’t answer the question, Bellamy.”

 

“No! No, I didn’t get anyone pregnant. Why would you think?” Bellamy could feel his face turning red and was just glad that the room was slowly sinking into darkness and his tan skin was preventing anything from being seen.

 

“Well, the only person who would ask you to willingly keep a secret from your sister is going to be some dumb girl who doesn’t understand your relationship or your mom –“ Clarke cut herself off and he could see the wheels spinning in her mind as she turned and looked at the bags packed on his bed and next to him on the floor.

 

“It’s Aurora. What’s wrong? Is it the store? Is it that guy? I thought that didn’t work out. Is she seeing another guy? Is _she_ pregnant?”

 

“No! God, why do you think everyone is pregnant?” Bellamy shook his head and tried not to imagine another Octavia to take care of.

 

“But it is Aurora, right? She would only ask you to keep secrets from Octavia when they were important. So it’s either the store is in trouble or she’s in trouble. Which is it, Bellamy?”

 

“Clarke, please,” Bellamy practically begged and he could hear the pain in his own voice. She’s was getting too close and he knew as soon as she figured it out, she’ll be gone and calling Octavia or demanded that he call Octavia and he couldn’t. He loved his sister – he really did and he needed to keep this secret to keep her safe.

 

“Bellamy, what’s wrong?” Clarke slid closer to him and grabbed his hands and met his eyes. Hers were filled with tears and she squeezed his hands hard. “Please, tell me what’s wrong. I can help you.”

 

And that’s all it took – it just takes this one girl to look at him like that and those walls he built so long ago around himself and his family are long gone and everything was tumbling out – starting with the tears that slide down his face. Before he could get a word out or pull away so she couldn’t see them, he had his arms full of Clarke Griffin and he almost wanted to smile at that, but then he remembered why he’s sitting here on the floor in the dark hiding from all his friends and a smile is the last thing he can even think about.

 

Clarke just held him and he took deep breaths trying to calm himself. He was never really one to cry, but things had started to change more than he could ever imagine in those last two weeks. When the pounding in his ears starts to subside, he could hear Clarke soothing him, telling him it’s going to be okay and that she’s here and she’ll help him with whatever he needs and he just held her tighter.

 

Somehow they had repositioned themselves so Clarke was leaning against his bed and his head was positioned on her shoulder with both their arms wrapped around each other. It was uncomfortable because she was so much shorter than him so he pulled away and laid his head in her lap and her fingers, which were stroking his hair, continued and she just waited for him to begin.

 

“About ten years ago, my mom found a lump on her shoulder – melanoma. It was early and they were able to remove all of it. She was working for that asshole down on Main Street then. We had insurance and she went to take care of it, but as soon as he found out that his premium would go up because of her future treatments, he fired her. She was able to get those two crappy jobs working in the dinner and cleaning houses and was able to keep up with the treatments for about six months. She stopped going because they said she should be fine and then she started putting everything into the store – her dream. Two months ago, she found another lump. She has insurance at the store and she went back and –“

 

Bellamy took another shaky breath and tried to swallow around the lump that formed in his throat. Besides for Clarke’s hand stopping in his hair when he mentioned melanoma, she hadn’t moved.

 

“How bad is it?” Clarke asked softly.

 

“They only gave her six months.” The tears were streaming down his face again silently – uncontrollably.

 

Clarke didn’t say anything else until he pulled himself up into a seated position and her hands dropped in her lap. Her eyes were teary, but she had them focused on him.

 

“I’m guessing Octavia never knew about the cancer ten years ago. She’s not very good at keeping secrets,” Clarke reached over and grabbed one of his hands.

 

“No, she didn’t know. And I never bothered to tell her because ten years – after ten years, she’s supposed to be cured or at the very least in remission. Not with so many tumors in her brain that they stopped counting at twenty.”

 

Clarke squeezed the hand in his and glanced at his bags, “You’ve been going home the last few weekends.”

 

“Yeah, she’s trying chemo. It’s suppose to help her, but she hates it.”

 

“When do you leave?”

 

“I got stuck at school. I normally try and leave around 4.”

 

“Do you think you could wait like another hour?”

 

Bellamy turned to look at her, “Why?”

 

“I need time to pack.” Clarke met his eyes calm and steady. No trace of the tears from before.

 

“Clarke,” Bellamy groaned and rubbed a hand down his face.

 

“I’m going to talk to my mom. She knows a lot of oncologists. She got my grandfather into a medical trial for a new kind of drug when he was sick. It was too late, but it was something. Maybe she can do the same for your mom.”

 

“Clarke, you’re mom hates my mom.”

 

“She doesn’t hate her. She’s just – but I’ll work on her. I’ll spend the weekend buttering her up and I don’t know. Maybe she’ll do something that will help.”

 

Bellamy had already begun to shake his head, “Clarke. I can’t ask you to do that. I don’t want you to have to promise her things that will only hurt you when we both know there’s nothing out there that will save my mom.”

 

“But I can try,” Clarke said decisively and Bellamy knew she made up her mind.

 

“Next weekend,” Bellamy stood up and threw the last of his clothes into his bag.

 

“Right,” Clarke stood up too. “Of course, you want to spend the weekend with your mom.”

 

Bellamy turned to look at her and could see the forced smile on her face and it made him smile too, “I meant next weekend you can talk to your mom. This weekend you can just hide out with my mom and me. Go pack a bag and I’ll meet you at Grand Central Station in an hour.”

 

A small smile crossed her face before she bounced up onto her toes and placed a kiss on his cheek, “See you soon, Bell.”

 

Bellamy waited until the door closed behind her and took a deep breath. He gave it another week before one of them broke and told Octavia. He loved his mom, but six months wouldn’t get her to Octavia’s graduation like she wanted. And Octavia needed to know. And she needed to know sooner rather than later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not only is it the turning point in this story, but also because it's semi-personal. And I didn't want to put too much of myself in it, but it's something that happened to me and it changed me so I wanted to give it the credit it deserved.
> 
> The person this chapter is written about is actually my uncle and godfather. He passed away a few years ago and what's happening to Aurora is what happened to him. He had melanoma and then ten years after he was first diagnosised they found something like twenty something tumors in his brain and so many in his body that they had to stop counting because they lost track. 
> 
> I'm honestly not sure if this is something negative to his memory or something positive, but even after almost four years gone, he's still a big part of all of our lives - even if it's not everyday. We just celebrated Thanksgiving and my other uncle made a joke about my cousin always wearing his sunglasses and my mom started singing "I wear my sunglasses at night" which is a song that has always reminded me of my late uncle and she knows so she turned and smiled and said "Uncle Timmy's song". And now I've got tears in my eyes writing this. So I'm going to stop.
> 
> I want to give a big apology to so many people because I got so many great comments on the last chapter about how happy they were all to see Aurora happy and alive and I couldn't tell you all that this would be happening. I'm going to try and give you another happy Aurora in the next chapter, but remember this was never a story about Clarke or Bellamy being with other people and the other realizing their feelings once the other was happy. This story is about them learning to live a life together. 
> 
> And now I've outdone myself with long author's notes. Let me know what you think, even if you want to yell and scream at me. I can take it.


	16. I'll Stand By You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy visit Aurora and gets a surprise at the hospital and Clarke admits something to big to someone other than herself.
> 
> Title from the same song as The Pretenders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you goes to bellamy-blake-trash on tumblr for some awesome motivation. And by motivation I mean sending me lots of messages asking when the next chapter would be ready. I'm always open for people messaging me here or on tumblr and telling me to get writing. I'm notorious for starting things and not finishing them so stick with me because without any of you reading this still (if you are out there?) I wouldn't have the motivation to write it.
> 
> Speaking of finishing... I officially graduated law school, guys! (This isn't fishing for comments. I literally ran around the house trying to find someone when I got the news only for them to say "Was this not to be expected?" - By the way, that was my mom.) 
> 
> Anyway, I've been writing a lot of things, but haven't had much motivation to finish this. Mostly because I was stuck on this chapter and I finally got some inspiration today. So it's done and I have no idea about the next chapter. It might be easier to write because it's less emotional, but I don't really have a lot of time right now.
> 
> So I started writing this when Wicken was still a thing, but I have definitely switched to a Wellven fan in any AU, but since I couldn't change it here without a complete overhaul of the storyline, we're going to stick with Wick. And I have a confession, every time I read a story with Wick in it, I don't actually picture the actor - I picture a different actor so if this helps you get through any Wick story, you can use my [replacement Wick](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1974920/?ref_=tt_cl_t2) (bonus: he was recently on a TV show that I stopped watching after one episode, no matter how much I love the actor, and his first name was ironically Wick).

Clarke went home with Bellamy that weekend and Aurora had cried when she saw Clarke walk in the door with Bellamy and later when he went to pick up some of his mom’s favorite food from her favorite restaurant, Aurora had sat Clarke down to talk.

“How are you feeling?” Clarke curled her legs under her and smiled at the other woman.

“I’m doing good, Clarke,” Aurora reached over and pat Clarke’s hands.

“I’m going to go talk to my mom this weekend. Bell is making me wait until next weekend, but the sooner she knows, the sooner we can get you into an experimental trial or something.”

Aurora just gave her a sad smile, “Listen to Bellamy, sweetheart. Talk to her later. I just want to enjoy this weekend with the two of you.”

“But –“ 

Aurora shook her head sadly, “For me, Clarke.”

Clarke sighed and muttered, “This is how you got Bellamy to lie to Octavia.”

“You probably think I’m horrible for keeping this from her.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to – It’s not my business.”

“No, it is. Because of what I’m going to ask you to do for them.”

Clarke raised her eyes to Aurora’s face and saw that sad smile on her face again.

“I need you to take care of them. 

“Aurora? I – I’m not – I don’t understand.”

“We both know there is nothing left. You’re a smart girl and I understand you need to find chase down every lead – and I love you for that, but there’s not much time for me left and I’m worried about Octavia and Bellamy. You’re the only person I trust with them.”

“Please, don’t ask this of me.”

“Clarke,” Aurora sighed. “I’m not – I’m not giving you some sort of ridiculously high bar of responsibility like my sister, my responsibility.” Aurora rolled her eyes. “I learned my mistake there. I put too much on his shoulders and now I’m worried about him. I love Octavia – don’t get me wrong, but I don’t worry about her. She’s happy in California. She’s got a good head on her shoulders – not that Bellamy doesn’t. But Octavia is a social person. She’s happy with that new guy and even if they don’t work out, she’ll find someone else.”

Aurora took a deep breath as if she was out of breath. 

“But Bellamy. He’s too stubborn and too stuck in his head and he worries too much about everyone else. I want him to have someone who will worry about him unconditionally.”

“Aurora, you know he has many people who love him and who will worry about him unconditionally.”

“What he needs is someone who will always be on his side. And the only person I can think of that is perfect for the job is you.”

Clarke sighed.

“Hear me out, Clarke,” Aurora waited for Clarke’s nod to continue. “He’s stubborn and bull-headed and doesn’t listen to anyone else – anyone, but you. He’s going to need you when this is all over with. He’s going to fall into a dark hole and blame himself for everything. He’s going to say that he should have visited more and checked on me. He’s going to feel all alone and say he doesn’t have anyone left in this world.”

“Aurora,” Clarke interrupted when the older woman stopped to catch her breath. “You don’t need to tell me all of this. I know it. I know what’s going to happen. And I’m not going anywhere. Not anytime soon. And not until he tells me to go.”

“I know there is more between you two then just friends and I don’t want to force you to say something you don’t mean, but can you just me now that you –“ 

Clarke was well aware of her feelings for Bellamy – it just seemed that she never had the time to tell him. When she figured them out, she thought he slept with Raven and then panicked because of the whole Finn thing. When he finally caught up to her and she was able to look him in the eye when he said he and Raven did nothing more than sleep – she believed him. She always did. But she was still getting use to these feelings and now with Aurora – now was not the time.

“I do,” Clarke muttered quietly. “I do and I want – I want to say something, but not right now. Not with everything going on.”

“I understand. Just tell him soon,” Aurora squeezed her hand in thanks just as Bellamy walked back into the room.

“Sorry it took so long. I ran into Mrs. Johnson and she wouldn’t stop asking questions. She knew just based off our order that Clarke was here too. Kept asking if we were married yet. She wasn’t understanding the concept of just friends.”

Clarke let out a laugh and wiped her face discreetly before Bellamy saw her, “How dare she.”

Aurora joined her in laughing at Bellamy’s narrowed gaze.

“Hey, I’m a catch. You would be lucky to be Mrs. Clarke Blake.”

“I think you mean – you would be lucky to be Mr. Bellamy Griffin,” Aurora raised her eyebrows at he son who turned slightly pink in the ears.

“Whatever, Mom. Eat your pasta,” Bellamy mumbled while dishing out the food as Clarke and Aurora laughed. 

The next morning Clarke wandered into the Blakes’ kitchen to find Bellamy and Aurora having coffee together.

“Morning,” Clarke mumbled as she made a beeline for the coffee machine.

“Hey. Mom has a chemo appointment this morning. Want to tag along?” Bellamy asked from the kitchen table.

“Sure,” Clarke glanced to Aurora to see her face had fallen just a little bit. “But I’m sure you and Aurora want to spend time together. I can hang out here.”

“Don’t worry about it, Clarke,” Bellamy shrugged his shoulders, but his back was to Aurora so he missed the look on her face.

“Absolutely, Clarke. You are more than welcome to come,” Aurora gave her a tight smile so Clarke sighed and agreed to come. She could always slip out and hide in an on-call room to give them some time alone. 

Clarke helped Aurora get settled in one of the big comfy chairs after the nurse got her IV hook.

“I’m really sorry. I could have stayed home,” Clarke held the IV tubes up so Aurora could get adjusted and wrap a blanket around herself.

“It’s okay. He wants you here. I know how hard it’s been on him the last few weeks coming with me. Having you here lifts his spirits and I can’t deny him that – not after everything he has given up for me and Octavia.”

“He loves you both,” Clarke sank into the chair next to Aurora’s. “You know that right? He doesn’t – he wouldn’t change anything about his life. Except, maybe he would have made things easier for you while he was growing up.”

“God, I’m the worst mother ever,” Aurora sighed.

“No, oh my god, you’re not – you’re like the best mother ever –“ 

“Clarke, please,” Aurora squeezed her hand to cut Clarke off. “Don’t spare my feelings. I know what I’ve done. I was barely home and left the raising of my daughter to my son – who was only two years older than her.” 

“He doesn’t – he wouldn’t have had it any other way, you know that, right? Please tell me you know that, Aurora?”

Aurora gave her a sad smile and took a deep breath before leaning her head back to relax.

“Aurora, how are you – Clarke?” 

Clarke’s head snapped up to see her mom standing next to Aurora’s seat wearing scrubs with her hair pulled back looking tired.

“Mom?”

“Hi, honey. I didn’t know – I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Bellamy told her,” Aurora responded breathlessly. 

“Of course he did.” Abby and Aurora exchanged a look that Clarke couldn’t read.

“Hey, I got the extra blankets,” Bellamy popped up in the doorway glancing around at all the women. “Um, is everything okay?”

Bellamy asked the question generally, but he was looking at Clarke.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. Mom was just stopping by to say hi to Aurora and then we we’re going to get some lunch while she has time between surgeries.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you were going to see your mom.”

“Yeah, I texted her when we got here,” Clarke offered him a bright smile before turning to Aurora. “I’ll be back before you’re done.”

Aurora squeezed her hand, “Thank you, Clarke.”

“Of course,” Clarke stood up and smiled at her mom. She could tell it wasn’t as warm as the one she gave Bellamy, but her mom had been trying the last few months so it was the least Clarke could do.

Clarke followed her mom out, but when she passed Bellamy he grabbed her forearm and squeezed it, “You going to be okay?”

“Yeah, Bell,” Clarke whispered before standing up and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I’ll be back soon.”

“We’ll be here – for a few hours so take your time,” Bellamy gave her a tight smile and Clarke turned to catch up with her mom.

“I’m sorry,” Abby squeezed Clarke’s shoulder in lieu of a hug (which Clarke appreciated). “I would have told you, but –“

“I know. It nearly killed Bellamy to tell me. Literally. He got so drunk and then avoided me for two weeks.”

Abby’s eyebrows rose, but she didn’t say anything in response.

“So do you still want to get some lunch?” Abby asked cautiously.

“Of course. I haven’t seen you in awhile and I’d like to ask about Aurora.”

“Okay,” Abby smiled softly at her and lead the way to the cafeteria.

Both women got salads and water before settling in a corner of the crowded hospital cafeteria. 

“Before you start asking your questions, how are you? With everything – not just Aurora,” Abby pushed aside her tomatoes and Clarke rolled her eyes. Her mom was the worst at taking care of herself.

“I’m good. I’ve been studying for the LSATs and just trying to keep my head above water with school.”

“That’s good. I’m glad,” Abby paused and studied Clarke’s face. “Are you doing okay with everything with Aurora? I know it can’t be easy – with your dad and everything.”

Clarke tensed before letting out a deep breath, “Honestly. It hasn’t really hit me yet. I’ve been more worried about Bellamy than anything else. And of course, Octavia – when they tell her.”

“Or course. It’s good that you’re there for them. I remember them being there for you after the accident – and the funeral. Especially Bellamy.”

“Yeah, he was really great then,” Clarke can feel the smile on her face.

“You love him.”

“Of course. I love all my friends.”

“No, Clarke. You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

Clarke pushed around some of the soggy lettuce before taking a deep breath. 

“I do. I haven’t told him yet. I was scared and dealing with all of it and then this happened,” Clarke dropped her fork and placed her head in her hands.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie. This is not how I wanted things to go for you. First, losing your dad and now, losing a maternal figure and dealing with that grief while falling in love.”

“Mom –“

“It’s okay, Clarke. I know we haven’t always gotten along and you turned to Aurora for a lot of things. I’m not mad at you. More mad at myself for making you feel like you had to turn to someone else for that relationship, but I want to fix that.”

“Me too, Mom,” Clarke reached across the table and gripped her mother’s hands. “Me too.”

Abby wiped at her face with her free hand and smiled, “I’ve been spending a lot of time with Aurora – even before her diagnosis. And I’m starting to realize what you and your dad saw in the Blakes all those years ago. And I’m sorry it’s taken me thing long to see it and I’ve already apologized to Aurora and I’ll do the same with Bellamy and Octavia – “

“Mom,” Clarke let out a short laugh. “Bellamy and Octavia don’t care about that. And neither do I. just be there – just be a part of this little family we’ve made. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Okay,” Abby’s smile was watery, but strong. “I can do that.”

The two sat in silence for a few minutes before Abby spoke again.

“You probably want to get back to Aurora and Bellamy,” Abby started to stand, but Clarke shook her head.

“I think Aurora wanted some time alone with Bellamy, but he was too stubborn to see it.”

“I can see why the two of you get along so well,” Abby smirked and Clarke rolled her eyes in response.

“How do you think Octavia is going to handle everything?”

Clarke sighed, “If we get it a secret much longer, she’ll be furious.”

“I know Aurora wants to tell her, but none of them can afford for Octavia to fly out.”

“If that’s it, god, I have some money in dad’s trust fund, I can just tell her it’s for her birthday. She hasn’t been home in awhile so I know she won’t argue with me and probably say it’s more of a gift for me than her – something about needing another Blake in my life,” Clarke chuckled.

“Clarke, don’t – that money is for you and your schooling and after. Don’t use that for a plane ticket.”

“Mom –“ 

“Hear me out, Clarke. I can pay for Octavia’s plane ticket. I have the money and –“

“No, mom. They’ll never let you do that – they would throw a fit if I did it –“

“Clarke,” Abby interpreted. “If I knew your father was never going to come home that day – I would pay anything and do whatever it cost, just to get more time with him. Anything, Clarke.” Abby squeezed her hands tighter and Clarke watched her mother pull herself together quietly and realized that her mother hid her feelings so far deep because that’s all she knew and that’s who she was, but she was (finally) allowing Clarke to see some of it and that meant more to Clarke than any amount of money.

“Okay, but I’ll organize everything. Bellamy won’t be happy if I do it and he’ll be even more upset if he finds out you did it. He’ll forgive me – eventually.” 

“He’ll forgive you, Clarke,” Abby smiled. “He loves you too.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, but her mother’s words warmed her. She wasn’t stupid. She saw that something had changed in her and Bellamy’s relationship and Raven was adamant that Bellamy felt the same, but Clarke was still unsure.

Clarke left her mother with a tight hug and a promise to call tomorrow before she left for the city again and made her way back to the chemo room. Aurora was asleep and Bellamy was playing with his phone.

“Thought I’d find you reading Socrates or something. You know – to find strength,” Clarke grinned at him as she pulled a chair up next to him so as not to disturb Aurora sleeping.

“Well, I thought you would be here to entertain me,” Bellamy’s face showed no emotion so Clarke wasn’t sure if he was teasing or mad that she had lunch with her mom.

“I thought you and Aurora should have some time alone,” Clarke reached over and squeezed his hand. “Your mom was happy to spend some time with you.”

“So you didn’t text your mom?”

“No, we were both surprised to see the other. I figured I’d be safe up here in oncology, but apparently her and your mom have been spending time together so she knew her chemo schedule.”

“Oh,” Bellamy rubbed his hands on his thighs. “Everything okay between you two?”

“Yeah,” Clarke smiled to herself. “Everything went really well.”

“Good,” Bellamy cleared his throat. “Mom fell asleep about twenty minutes ago.”

“Yeah, I was able to talk to my mom about her a little bit. Abby sent Aurora’s records to that oncologist I was telling you about. There’s nothing really left for them to do.”

Bellamy sighed and leaned forward to brace his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands and took a deep calming breath.

“Bellamy,” Clarke leaned forward and grabbed one of his hands.

“It’s okay. I mean it’s not, but I was already expecting the worst I guess.”

Clarke pulled her chair closer to his and rested her head on his shoulder and the two sat there quietly for the rest of Aurora’s appointment. Aurora herself was woken by the insistent beeping.

The nurse walked over and began to unhook Aurora’s IV and moving around her quietly.

“Clarke,” Aurora called her quietly.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Aurora smiled softly. “I’m just always tired these days. I’m more worried about him.”

Clarke picked her head up from Bellamy’s shoulder to find him asleep in the chair and Clarke couldn’t help the smile that crossed her face.

“I didn’t even realize he fell asleep. He was working late Thursday and had an early Friday morning class that he had to attend. He crashed on our couch. It’s not the comfiest.”

“I doubt that’s the comfiest chair either,” the nurse smiled at the two of them. “It’s really sweet of you to come spend time with your boyfriend like that.”

Clarke made eye contact with Aurora and was about to correct the nurse when Aurora interrupted her.

“That’s our Clarke. Always doing whatever she can for those she loves – especially my son. He’s really lucky to have her.”

Clarke could feel her cheeks warming, but Aurora smiled at her and the nurse chuckled before declaring Aurora ready to go home.

“You want to wake him?” Aurora nodded towards Bellamy.

“Absolutely not. He’s the worst to wake up.”

Aurora laughed brightly, “I know. I made him get his own alarm when he was in the second grade because I got tired of waking him.”

Clarke joined Aurora in her laughing which eventually woke Bellamy.

“What?” Bellamy jerked upright and rubbed his hand down his face. “What’s going on?”

“Your mom’s all done,” Clarke patted him on the shoulder as she stood to help Aurora out of the chair.

“Oh, good,” Bellamy stood up and helped pack all of Aurora’s things while Clarke helped Aurora walk to the car.

“Thanks for coming, Clarke,” Aurora said softly as they walked and Bellamy ran ahead to get the car.

“Of course. There’s no where else I would rather be – well except here, but only because I’d rather you at the store working and everything – you know what I mean.”

“I do. And I was serious about what I said to that nurse. Bellamy is so lucky to have you. I hope one day soon you two find your way to each other.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! As always, kudos and comments are welcome and appreciated. Come talk to me on [tumblr](http://thediaryofanerdygirlygirl.tumblr.com/l). I'm slowly learning more and more about it. I've got a queue going now if only I could figure out how to work the pages because that is always a failure. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading!


	17. yes, i'll admit that i'm a fool for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprises. More surprises. And tears.
> 
> Title from Walk the Line by Johnny Cash (or Halsey's cover if you don't know who that is because let's be honest, that's where I got the idea, but I found the actual lyric from Mr. Cash's song so I can keep my title as a classic rock lover)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE'RE BACK BITCHES!!
> 
> I know I've used that before after a mini-hiatus, but I'm not the only one who's back! (wink wink)
> 
> So I took the bar the last two days and came home and spent like two hours fixing my [tumblr](http://thediaryofanerdygirlygirl.tumblr.com/) and then woke up this morning determined to write more of this. I want to get it done sooner than later so I'm going to be furiously writing to try and get weekly updates in and finish soon. I think this will have a total of 29 chapters and I have a few written, but there are missing ones between there and here. I waited to post this one until I could work on 18 which I did today. It's about 95% done. I'll probably post it next Friday or Saturday - no guarantees though. 
> 
> Anyway enjoy!

Bellamy was walking into his apartment when his phone rang. He had to grab a few things and get packed before heading back to school to work for a few hours. After, he and Clarke were taking the train back home to see his mom again. Bellamy wasn’t happy that he broke and told Clarke against his mom’s wishes, but on the other hand, he was thrilled to finally have someone to talk to about it all. And the fact that it was Clarke was even better.

The last few months had been eye-opening for him. He had taken a hard look at his actions and reactions to a lot of things over the years and it all started when he was in the fourth grade and developed some sort of crush on Clarke Griffin.

He thought he had outgrown it, but instead he had buried it so deep that it was still allowed to grow and fester and turn into something even worse (and by worse he meant better) – love. 

That’s right. He could finally say it to himself. He was in love with Clarke Griffin. Clarke Griffin who went from his little sister’s annoying best friend to one of his best friends to the person who held his heart in her tiny, cold hands. (No, really they were freakishly cold. Growing up he thought it was because she was going to be a doctor and all doctor’s hands are cold, but still this was extreme.)

The phone kept ringing and Bellamy pulled it out of his pocket to glance at the caller ID. He had planned to toss it aside in favor of packing until he saw Clarke’s name flash across the screen and changed his mind (yeah, you didn’t have to tell him – he knew he was so gone for her).

“Hey, everything okay?”

“Um, not really.”

“What’s wrong?” 

She sounded tired and a little anxious and wasn’t she suppose to be with her study group – that’s the whole reason they were staying later.

“Okay, so don’t be mad, but I need you to go to the airport and pick someone up. I already called Raven and the guys and they’re all busy so it has to be you.”

“Why am I your last choice?” He tried not to feel hurt by that, but, well, he was.

“Well, the person you’re picking up was suppose to be a surprise and now it’s ruined because I got stuck meeting a professor to discuss this stupid recommendation. Like how do you not know how to write a recommendation?”

“Clarke, who am I picking up?”

“Please, don’t be mad.” Bellamy could hear the begging in her voice.

“Clarke.”

“It’s Octavia. I haven’t told her anything. I said it was my birthday present to her – flying her out and we were going to surprise you and your mom. It’s just my mom and I were talking and – you don’t know how hard it is to realize the last conversation you had with someone you loved was the last and she deserves to know and I’m sorry, but your mom basically told my mom that it was the money and that’s why she didn’t want to tell Octavia and please, don’t be mad –“

“Clarke,” Bellamy interrupted. “I’m mad that you spent money, but – I don’t know. I’m also really fucking glad you did because this has been killing me.”

“I know. I know, Bell. That’s why I had to do it.”

“I’ll pay you back. Over time, but you shouldn’t have spent your dad’s money on that. I’ll pay you back. I promise.”

“Okay, no really don’t be mad, but I didn’t exactly pay for it and you can’t say anything because she didn’t want anyone to know.”

“Clarke,” Bellamy sighed. He could feel a headache coming on from her rambling.

“My mom paid for it. Don’t say anything, Bellamy, but she actually cried when she thought about what she would do if she could talk to my dad one more time. She opened up to me and she has never done that. I offered to pay, but she said to save it and she would pay. She’s trying, Bellamy. She wants to make things up to me, you, your family. Please, just let her do this and don’t say anything.”

“Fine,” Bellamy sighed trying to think of a way to pay Abby Griffin back – especially after she realized that Bellamy was in love with her daughter. She would probably hate him again. Best to get on her good side now – not that Clarke probably felt the same, but it was better to be prepared.

“When does she get in?”

“I’ll text you all the details. I’m going to try and let her know you’re coming and not me. She was really excited to surprise you. She’s going to be so disappointed.”

“No, don’t. I want to surprise her now. A little revenge.”

“Bellamy –“ Clarke started, but he could hear someone talking to her on the other end and her saying she’ll be right in. “Okay, I gotta go. Please behave and I’ll meet you at your place as soon as possible.”

“No, let’s meet at yours. It’s closer to the train station. I’ll bring O there.”

“Okay. Sounds good. Bye!”

Bellamy waited until the phone went dead and sighed before hanging up. His phone beeped with a picture from Clarke showing Octavia’s flight information. Since Octavia needed to be picked up in an hour, Bellamy quickly threw things in his bag and headed out the door. He figured Octavia would have multiple bags so he took public transportation there and would cab it back to Clarke’s apartment.

Bellamy reached baggage claim near Octavia’s gate and searched for the carrel that would be sending bags from her flight. Once there, he started looking for his sister’s brunette hair and spotted her when braids went flying as she searched the crowd for Clarke and kept an eye out for her bags simultaneously.

Bellamy slipped through the crowd until he was standing behind her and pulled on one of her braids, “Looking for someone.”

Octavia jumped and spun around ready to take his head off until she realized it was him.

“Bell!” She launched herself at him and Bellamy stumbled to catch her, but she quickly pulled back and landed a hard punch on his arm. “I was supposed to be surprising you! What are you doing here?”

“Clarke got stuck in a meeting with one of her professors and none of our other asshole friends were available to come,” Bellamy wrapped his little sister in a tight hug. “Sorry for ruining your surprise.”

“It’s not so bad. Now I get to pester you about Clarke before we see her,” Octavia waggled her eyebrows at him and Bellamy rolled his eyes.

“O, your bags,” Bellamy nodded to where they were sliding past on the carrel.

“Oh, shit. Excuse me!” Octavia elbowed her way through the crowd to grab the bags and Bellamy followed apologizing to everyone who got one of her pointy elbows in their person. 

“Here,” Octavia pulled the heaviest bag and slammed it into Bellamy’s body to carry. “Be a gentleman and carry my bags.”

“Love you, too, O.”

“Come on, let’s get a cab before they’re all gone,” Octavia stormed off through the crowd and Bellamy followed carrying her large suitcase and his smaller weekend bag.

“Why do you need so much stuff?” Bellamy groaned when he caught up to Octavia in the line for the cabs.

“Because Clarke said this was my birthday weekend. So you know what that means,” Octavia waggled her eyebrows.

“No, what?”

“Birthday parties! Clarke’s been telling me about this new bar – actually your bar, where you work. And I’ve been dying to go.”

“Actually, O. We’re going home to see mom. I mean that’s what I was doing and Clarke was coming with me so –“

“Yeah, that’s tomorrow. Tonight we go out. And we get on the first train tomorrow morning and sleep the hangover away. This way I can see Mom all day tomorrow and I’m flying out late Sunday night from the Atlantic City Airport so all should be good.”

“No, I’m sorry, O. We’re going tonight. As soon as we meet up with Clarke. We can do something tomorrow. Have a party – maybe invite the guys and Raven down for dinner or something.”

Octavia turned her puppy eyes on him and her bottom lip slid out in a pout, “Please, Bell. I just want to get drunk with my friends.”

“You get drunk with your friends every weekend,” Bellamy pointed out. “Back at Stanford.”

“But – It’s not my people. My family, Bell,” Octavia grabbed his shoulders and shook him. Bellamy just rolled his eyes and didn’t have to respond when a cab pulled up for them. 

Bellamy helped the guy put O’s stuff in the back before sliding in to sit next to her and giving him Clarke’s address.

“So,” Octavia turned to face him. “Is that a thing yet?”

“Is what a thing yet?” Bellamy kept his eyes forward watching the cab drive through the airport traffic.

“Come on, Bell,” Octavia shoved him – hard.

“Ow, what’s with all the shoving and punching? Still doing that kung fu I see,” Bellamy teased.

“It’s mixed martial arts and stop calling it kung fu. And don’t change the topic.”

“Fine, what thing?”

Octavia narrowed her eyes and rolled them simultaneously – it was a creepy skill to have, “You and Clarke. Have you told her you love her yet?”

Bellamy sighed, “No. Things have been a little busy right now.”

“Busy? You’re always busy. You both are. Neither of you call me anymore. In fact, Clarke calling to tell me she bought me a plane ticket was the first time I talked to her in a week. You’ve barely talked to me at all in the last month.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I promise that will change.”

“So when are you going to tell Clarke?”

“When I’m ready. Please don’t push this, O.”

“You know she loves you too, right? It’s not because you think she doesn’t?”

Bellamy sighed and ran his hand through his hair, “I don’t know how she feels, Octavia. I wish I did. I know something is different between us, but she doesn’t treat me any different than she does Monty or Miller or Jasper so I don’t know.”

“She bought me a plane ticket so I could surprise you. She said Mom too, but she said that you needed to see me. I don’t think she’s done anything like that for Monty or Miller or Jasper.”

“She didn’t buy the plane ticket,” Bellamy felt one of his fists clench. “Abby did.”

“What? That bitch trying to buy Clarke’s love. Wait, why did she buy me a plane ticket then?”

“Clarke said they had a really good conversation last weekend and Abby offered and Abby is trying to make amends for things she’s done in the past.”

“How much do you believe her?”

Bellamy turned to see a worried expression on his sister’s face, “I don’t know. All I know is that we’re not suppose to know Abby bought it and if it does go south, we need to be there for Clarke when Abby hurts her again.”

Octavia nodded and reached for Bellamy’s hand to squeeze it, “She knows we love her and we’ll always be there for her.”

Bellamy spent the rest of the ride listening to Octavia complain about her classes and gush about her friends and the mixed martial arts gym she started going to. 

When they got to Clarke’s apartment, it was to find her furiously packing and running around trying to locate things. Raven was standing in the kitchen holding one of Clarke’s shoes.

“Little Blake!” Raven cheered as she wrapped Octavia in a hug.

“I thought I said to stop calling me that,” Octavia grumbled.

“Whatever, Pocahontas,” Raven grinned and pulled on one of Octavia’s braids. 

“Where is my best friend?” Octavia challenged and Bellamy rolled his eyes.

“I don’t know, but my best friend forgot to pack because someone was here all night and is now trying to rush through a weekend of packing.”

“Sorry, O!” Clarke called as she ran through the living room again. “I’ll be ready in a few minutes.”

“Oh, so we really are going home?” Octavia tried to hide her disappointment, but Clarke stopped and stood with one bra hanging from her wrist and a pile of clothes in her arms and looked at him.

“Octavia thought we would be going out tonight and heading down to see Mom in the morning.”

“Oh, shit. I’m so sorry, Octavia. I didn’t even think of that,” Clarke dropped her clothes and wrapped Octavia in a hug.

“So no birthday parties?” Octavia asked.

“Well, it was supposed to be a surprise, but me and the guys are coming down tomorrow night,” Raven was quick to answer and Clarke and Bellamy both shot thankful looks over Octavia’s shoulder when she turned to face Raven.

“Oh, okay. I guess that’s not as fun as hitting a club or bar in the city, but it can still be fun. We can make it fun. I’ll make sure to act extra surprised,” Octavia smiled before turning back to Clarke and Bellamy. “Okay, I’m ready. Let’s get going.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes as he started to lug Octavia’s suitcase down the stairs and the two girls followed after shoving all of Clarke’s things in her bag.

“Here, Bellamy. Let me take the smaller bag,” Clarke tried to grab his duffle bag.

“It’s okay. I’ve got it, princess.”

“Let him be, Clarke. He likes showing off how strong he is,” Octavia called from ahead of them.

“We are all aware of how strong he is, but he slept on my couch last night after his shift at the bar. So I’m just trying to save his back – and our weekend because he’ll be complaining all weekend about it,” Clarke called back.

“Whatever you say, Clarkey.”

“God, stop calling me that,” Clarke mumbled under her breath.

“Since when do you hate being called Clarkey?” Bellamy asked.

“Since I was like twelve. I don’t get what is with you Blakes and pet names.”

“Wow, princess. Tell me how you really feel,” Bellamy let a mock hurt expression cross his face.

“I just got use to being called princess, so give me some time.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Finn called me that. And I know I told you to keep calling me princess because I didn’t want it to become a thing, but it took awhile to get over it.”

“It’s been almost three years, Clarke. I thought you were okay?”

“I am,” Clarke gave him a tired smile. “It’s not like I’m still hung up on him or something. It’s just hard to trust people after that. He lied so well and so convincingly for months and to Raven even longer.”

“You know I would never do that to you, right? Lie like that – I mean not – Only because I’m the only other one who calls you princess – not like anything else,” Bellamy kept his eyes forward and felt his face flushing more than it has ever in his life.

Clarke laughed softly, “I know what you mean, Bell. It’s fine. I don’t mind it from you.”

“Come on, lovebirds,” Octavia called as she skipped up to the ticket window. Bellamy groaned and avoided looking at Clarke until they boarded the train for home.

They were half way home when Octavia got up to use the bathroom and Clarke turned to him.

“You’re not mad at me, right? About flying Octavia home and everything.”

“No, I’m not,” Bellamy looked at the bags under her eyes, but saw the relief flash through her eyes breaking up her tired expression. “I’m honestly really glad you did it because I wanted to do it so badly, I just couldn’t bring myself to go against what she wanted. But I hated lying to Octavia – we don’t lie to each other – ever.”

“I know. That’s part of the reason why I did it. I didn’t want you to have to deal with everything and then deal with your sister’s anger. That wasn’t fair to you.”

“It’s not her fault,” Bellamy was quick to defend his mother. He knew Clarke loved Aurora and that Aurora loved Clarke, but the last few years with both of them living in the city had changed Clarke’s perception of Aurora. He remembered one night when they were up late just talking and she confessed to hating her a little bit for the childhood he had. He had been furious with her and it ended in a screaming match until Clarke broke down in almost tears (which he hadn’t seen her ever do) and confessed that she felt he had been robbed a childhood because he was always taking care of Octavia (and sometimes her because her own mother wasn’t always there). 

Bellamy always knew he didn’t have a normal childhood, but he loved it nonetheless because it brought him closer to his sister (and even to Clarke) and he loved his mother regardless. He told her all of this – how Aurora had been let down so many times by the men in her life that he didn’t want to be just another disappointment for her. Clarke never brought it up again and he was thankful for that because she had opened his eyes to some things he wished he hadn’t known before.

“I’m sorry,” Clarke said quietly and Bellamy turned to her again.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, Clarke,” Bellamy took her hand in his and squeezed it gently.

“I know. I just – I feel like you were finally having a normal relationship with Aurora for once and then this happens.”

“I know,” Bellamy sighed. “She was finally getting to enjoy her life and this.”

Clarke sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder and he squeezed her hand again and was happy when she returned it.

Both their phones went off simultaneously and Clarke struggled to get hers without moving, but eventually she had to move away to get hers in her bag on the other end of the bench seat from them.

“It’s from Raven,” Clarke said quietly.

Bellamy pulled his out of his jacket pocket to read the message.

Group Message: NYCru (party hat emoji) (city skyline emoji)

Raven Reyes: Since Bellamy and Clarke are horrible friends/brother, we are picking up the slack and throwing Octavia an impromptu surprise party at her mom’s house tomorrow. Clear your schedules – no excuses, Miller!

Clarke Griffin: Raven, that’s not going to happen. I’ll explain later, but you guys can stay in NY

Bellamy Blake: No, they can come. Once O finds out, the rest can know

Bellamy Blake: My mom’s sick – it’s not good. Clarke flew O home to see her because O doesn’t know yet

Nathan Miller: WHAT THE FUCK MAN. WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL US.

Monty Green: Nate, relax. We’re really sorry, Bellamy. Let us know what you need.

Jasper Jordan: OHMYGOD OHMYGOD WHAT WHY WHAT

Bellamy Blake: Thanks Monty. Just come tomorrow and plan something but something more subdued than normal. 

Clarke Griffin: Aurora will most likely be there but she’ll be tired and sleep most of the night

Raven Reyes: Shit. Okay. We’re on this. Just do what you gotta do. We’ll be there tomorrow.

Octavia flopped back into her seat and Bellamy put his phone away in order to concentrate on his sister, but Clarke seemed to still be texting Raven at least.

When they got to their hometown’s train station, Bellamy was surprised to see Abby Griffin standing on the platform waiting for them. Their local train station was about an hour away from home and they typically had someone pick them up. When Clarke suggested the train this weekend instead of driving, he figured they would take a cab home or something. 

“Dr. Griffin,” Bellamy nodded at her once. He desperately wanted to thank her and promise to pay her back or something, but Clarke had warned him not to so he was going to respect that.

“Abby,” Octavia smiled politely. “What are you doing here?”

“Clarke said you guys might need a ride,” Abby’s smile could be described as warm. “Welcome home, Octavia and happy birthday.”

“Thanks,” Octavia glanced to Bellamy who shrugged.

“Let me help you with that, Bellamy,” Abby reached for Octavia’s heavy suitcase.

“It’s okay. I’ve got it. O packed her entire closet. I wouldn’t want anyone else to have to carry that.”

“Okay, then,” Abby smiled and turned to lead them to her car.

Once all the suitcases were packed in the trunk, Clarke and Bellamy had a non-verbal standoff because Clarke wanted him to sit in the passenger seat because of his longer legs and Bellamy didn’t want to sit near her mother. Eventually, Clarke sighed and slid into the passenger seat and pulled it all the way up so Bellamy could sit behind her.

“How’s Stanford, Octavia?” Abby asked once they were on the road and most of the trip home was Octavia excitingly telling Abby all about her classes and Abby asking questions every now and then.

“How are you enjoying Columbia, Bellamy?” Abby asked him and Bellamy was startled from his thoughts.

“It’s good. It’s more of a challenge than NYU, but that might also just be the difference between grad school and undergrad.”

“That happens sometimes. I remember Clarke’s father never studying in college and then getting to law school and struggling because he was so use to just knowing everything. He had to relearn how to study,” Abby smiled.

“Well, I think Clarke learned from him because she spends more time in the library than any of us.” Bellamy knew Clarke was scowling even if he couldn’t see her.

“Well you would know. Since the only time you’re not in the library is when you’re working or sleeping. Your work schedule is just more demanding than mine otherwise you would be there with me every night.”

Abby chuckled and Octavia rolled her eyes, but Bellamy wasn’t able to comment since they had pulled up outside of their house. Clarke and Abby helped the siblings gather their bags and Octavia went to grab Clarke’s for her, but Clarke shook her head.

“Actually, I’m going to stay with my mom tonight. I’ll be by tomorrow and I’ll stay over tomorrow night for the party, but Mom and I are going to getting dinner,” Clarke grabbed the bag from Octavia.

“I thought the whole point of me coming home for my birthday was everyone hanging out?” Octavia looked a little upset and maybe even a little mad, but probably more at Abby for keeping Clarke. Bellamy knew better. If Clarke wanted to come, she would. She was giving his family time together. 

“It’s fine, O. Mom’s home and she’ll want to see you. Clarke will come by for breakfast or something,” Bellamy wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“Fine. Breakfast. Or else,” Octavia narrowed her eyes at Clarke before wrapping her arms around her and hugging her tightly.

“You know I love you, right? And I’m always here for you,” Clarke said quietly to Octavia and Bellamy pretended not to hear.

“Yeah, weirdo,” Octavia looked confused before gently shoving Clarke back towards the car. “Breakfast.”

“Breakfast,” Clarke gave her a small smile and a nod.

Octavia turned towards the house and Bellamy went to follow, but Clarke grabbed his arm and stopped him before throwing her arms around his neck. With the bags in his hands, he wasn’t able to return the hug.

“Call me if you need anything. Anything, you hear me?” Clarke said quietly. Bellamy just nodded when she pulled back to look at him.

“Okay. See you for breakfast then,” Clarke smiled and got back into her mom’s car while he turned towards the house and walked in just in time to see his mom’s surprised face when Octavia flung herself at her mom. 

Bellamy sighed and mentally prepared himself for what would come next, but was thankful that it was coming all the same because he hated doing this alone and had never been more thankful that Clarke was in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. Here or on [tumblr](http://thediaryofanerdygirlygirl.tumblr.com/)!


	18. front porch philosophy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke stops by the Blake's for breakfast and has a serious conversation with Bellamy . . . on his front porch. Bonus: surprise guest!
> 
> Title from my boyfriend, Sam Hunt's Raised On It (you should really listen to his whole album and then listen to the acoustic version - both have great songs on it).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I promised this would be up either Friday or Saturday and I'm really sorry it's so late, but life happened and now it's up so yay!
> 
> A lot of people left comments about Octavia's reaction and I tried to keep it vague, but I feel like I need to explain her lack of a reaction here. The last chapter was Bellamy's POV and ended with Clarke and her mother leaving and Octavia going into the house to see her mother. This chapter picks up later that night, but it's Clarke's POV because I alternate POVs each chapter. They discuss Octavia's reaction, but you won't see it. However, I was able to write a little flashback in the next chapter (Bellamy's POV again) because so many of you were asking for it.
> 
> So I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think!

Clarke waited until about ten that night before texting either of the Blake siblings. Her message to Octavia was simple: I love you and I’m here for you if you need anything.

Bellamy’s was a little more complicated because she loved him – she did, but it wasn’t the same as Octavia. Octavia was like a sister to her. They both knew everything about each other and were in each other’s every memory. And while Bellamy was there too, it was always different – like a secret. At the Blakes’ house he was her friend, but at school or anywhere outside those four walls, he was a stranger.

But she didn’t need to bother because he texted her first: She’s so pissed.

Clarke sighed. She knew this was going to happen. Octavia complained about Bellamy’s anger issues constantly, but hers were just as bad. 

Clarke Griffin: Do you blame her? 

Bellamy Blake: No.

Bellamy Blake: You know I wanted to tell her.

Clarke Griffin: I know. Is it that bad?

Bellamy Blake: She stormed off and just came back down. I slipped outside to sit on the porch. I can hear her yelling at mom

Bellamy Blake: She’s pissed at you too. Pissed that you knew and she didn’t. I told her that I swore you to not to tell. And you got around that by flying her home so I don’t think she’s mad anymore

Clarke Griffin: That’s good. How are you doing?

Bellamy Blake: I’ve been better. You’re still coming for breakfast right?

Clarke was surprised, but typed out an absolutely. If I’m still invited and Bellamy responded of course before saying he had to go before things got worse inside.

Clarke sighed before dropping back onto her bed. Her phone started ringing shortly after and she glanced at the screen to see a selfie of her and Raven that they took a few weekends ago.

“Hey Rae.”

“Is this a bad time?”

“No, I’m just sitting here.”

“Oh, I thought you would be with Bellamy and Octavia.”

“No. I – I wanted to give them some space. I had a feeling it would be bad and it was so –“ 

“How do you know it was bad then?”

“Bellamy was just texting me. I texted Octavia but she hasn’t responded yet. She probably won’t for awhile anyway.” 

“She texted me about twenty minutes ago. It was just a did you know? I told her that I just found out when I texted you to make fun of you for not planning a party for her.”

“I bet she was thrilled about that too.”

“I don’t know. She hasn’t responded.”

“Maybe it’s best you guys don’t come down – if she’s this pissed.”

“That’s what I thought too, but I’ve heard the stories – about when your dad died. The guys aren’t going to want to stay here and quite frankly – neither do I.”

Clarke sighed, “I guess you’re right. But it was so different with my dad, I was already mourning. It was over in an instant. I don’t know how to be there for them when it will be months.”

“You just need to be there as much as possible without smothering them.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. They’re vocal about what they want. If I annoy them too much, they’ll tell me to go away. Bellamy already wants me to show up for breakfast tomorrow.”

“Of course he does,” Raven muttered. “How long have you known?”

“Just a week. I found out before we came home last weekend.”

“How long has he known?”

“Since the night he got drunk and slept in my bed.”

“So that’s why he was avoiding you. We all thought it was because he said something he regretted or he panicked because he’s an idiot like that.”

“Yeah, he said he wanted to tell me and then realized he couldn’t so he got drunk.”

“I still can’t believe you didn’t run and tell Octavia. I get that it’s Bellamy who asked you not to say anything, but she’s been your best friend forever –“

“I love him,” Clarke cut Raven off.

“Jesus Christ, Griffin. We all know that, but still –“

“He asked me not to tell. I respected that.”

“What are you going to do? Now that you’re comfortable saying those words out loud.”

“I don’t know. I’ve told three people already and not one of them was Bellamy.”

“Who else have you told? Cause I’m going to be pissed if I was like the last to know since I was the one that pestered you the most about it.”

Clarke let out a sigh that could have passed for a laugh, “My mom, his mom, and you.”

“Good. But wow – telling the moms that’s big.”

“Yeah, well, my mom figured it out and I think Aurora knew too. She didn’t seem surprised just accepting.”

“No one is surprised – except maybe Bellamy when you tell him. You are going to tell him, right?”

“I don’t know –“ 

“God damn it, Clarke. You are fucking killing me.”

“No, no. It’s not – It’s complicated. With everything going on. I don’t want to pressure him or put more on his plate right now.” 

Raven sighed deeply like this gave her great pain, “I get that. I do, but don’t you think this would make everything easier for him. That he’ll have you through all of this.”

Clarke grinned, “He already has me. I told him that. We don’t need to be more for that. I’m always going to be here. I just want him to focus on his mom and not me right now.” Clarke took a deep breath, “Honestly, it feels a little selfish telling him now.”

“Okay. It’s your life. I accept and understand your decision. You’ve been through the loss of a parent. I haven’t so I’ll defer to you on all of this. But damn does life suck for the two of you. You finally get to a place where you want to tell him and then this.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Clarke sunk back into her pillows and curled up. Her and Raven talked about nonsense things for awhile before they both were too tired to continue and Clarke promised to keep Raven updated on whether her and the guys should come down tomorrow. Raven was adamant that they come, but Clarke was wary of a nuclear Octavia and said anything less than that would allow a party.

The next morning, Clarke woke up with the sun and quickly dressed and downed some coffee before heading over to the Blakes’. Her mother was working an early shift and had already left, but would be stopping by later to join the party at Aurora’s insistence. 

Clarke walked the few blocks to the Blakes and found Bellamy sitting on the porch with two coffee cups. She could see the bruise on his jaw and decided if he wanted to tell her about it – he would. Otherwise she would ignore its existence. 

“Hey,” Clarke said quietly as she sat down and Bellamy handed her one of the coffee cups. “What are you doing up so early?”

“Couldn’t really sleep. You?”

“Wasn’t sure what time breakfast was?” Clarke grinned at him and bumped her shoulder into his. A shiver ran down her spine due to the cold – no really, it was March and South Jersey was always freezing in March.

“Do you honestly call this a coat?” Bellamy pointed to her light green army utility jacket.

“It’s perfect for March weather. Just not March weather at dawn,” Clarke shrugged and curled around her coffee mug for warmth.

“Come here,” Bellamy brought one arm up and pulled Clarke into his side.

“Thanks,” Clarke grinned into her coffee mug as the two watched the sun rise higher in the sky. “How did you know I would be here this early?”

“I didn’t,” Bellamy took a sip of his coffee. “I was double fisting coffee.”

Clarke let out a short laugh, “Whatever you say.”

A short silence fell upon them as they watched the sun slowly make it’s way higher in the sky warming the cold air and chasing away the last bits of frost on the grass.

“What are you thinking about?” Clarke asked quietly not wanting to disturb the peace.

“Just how unfair life is.”

“Bellamy,” Clarke tried to pull away to look at him, but he held her to his side so she stayed put.

“Just – My mom finally got to a place where she was happy, Clarke. She was financially stable after years – years of crappy jobs. She had finally chased her dream and opened her own store. God, she was even dating for the first time in almost twenty years. She had a life that wasn’t about me and Octavia and money. And then this.”

Bellamy paused and Clarke could hear the tears in his voice and knew he didn’t want her to see them so she placed her empty mug to the side and wrapped both arms around his waist. 

“I’ve done everything I could, Clarke. To give her the life she deserved and I can’t do anything about this. I can’t fix this and that’s the worst part. I’ve always been able to help her and fix whatever she needed whether it was the kitchen sink or working a few extra shifts to help cover the gas bill. But there is literally nothing I can do here – nothing.”

Bellamy squeezed her tighter and Clarke felt his head drop to her neck and bury his face in her hair as he took deep breaths trying to calm himself down and Clarke just held him and waited for him.

A few minutes pass before they hear a car pull up outside the house and doors slam shut. They pull away from each other while still keeping one arm wrapped around each other and find a tall man with tattoos and darker skin climbing out of a cab and grabbing some bags. He pays the cab driver and thanks him before turning and making his way up the walkway to the front porch.

“Um, hi,” he stands awkwardly watching the two of them.

“Can I help you?” Bellamy stands up and towers over the man (but only because he’s standing on the second step of the porch).

“Yeah, I’m looking for Octavia.”

“Shit,” Clarke muttered under her breath and quickly stepped in front of Bellamy (who was even taller than normal since she had to get off the porch to stand next to this man.) “You must be Lincoln.”

“Yes, I guess that makes you Clarke?”

“You’re right. This is Bellamy, Octavia’s brother,” Clarke gestured behind her.

“Nice to meet you,” Lincoln stuck his hand out awkwardly for Bellamy to shake, but Bellamy just crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the man.

“And how do you know Octavia?”

“Lincoln!” Octavia’s voice could be heard from inside and Clarke motioned for Lincoln to head towards her. Clarke took the few steps up to stand next to Bellamy and grabbed his arm to hold him in place.

“Clarke, who is that guy?” Bellamy turned his glare on her.

“Octavia’s boyfriend for the last six months. Don’t, Bellamy,” Clarke crossed her arms and stared him down before he could start. “She just got the worst news of her life. And he apparently flew across the country on a red-eye flight to be with her. Let it go.”

“Clarke,” Bellamy began, but Clarke could tell she already won, especially when they turned to watch Octavia fly down the stairs and throw herself into Lincoln’s arms and sobbed you came, you came, you came over and over again while Lincoln soothed her.

“How long have you known?” Bellamy grumbled.

“Since their first date. Things were a little complicated because he was her TA her freshman year, but he graduated last year.”

“So he’s older than me, Clarke. What the hell?”

“Bigger, too. So don’t even try because that’s one fight you won’t win. And I’m on Octavia’s side for this one. She really likes him and has fought hard for him and he’s clearly doing the same for her.”

Bellamy mumbled under his breath and Clarke pinched his arm.

“Cut it out and be happy for her, okay?”

“Whatever,” Bellamy stormed into the house and Clarke grabbed the coffee mugs off the porch before following him in where he quickly took them from her and slipped into the kitchen while Octavia introduced Lincoln to Clarke officially.

With Lincoln around, Octavia’s mood was not as horrible as Clarke had anticipated so she sent a quick text to Raven giving her the okay and got a snapchat back of Jasper, Monty, and Miller standing under a sign for Central Station with their arms crossed and glaring at the camera and her caption: don’t mess with family. Clarke was able to screen shot it and showed it to Bellamy later who shook his head laughing. 

A few hours later Clarke borrowed the Blakes car to pick Raven and the guys up. Raven gave her a big squeeze followed by Monty and Jasper, but Miller pulled her aside while they were loading the bags into the car.

“You should have told me.”

“He asked me not to tell his sister, Miller.”

“I know. But I’m his best friend. I should have known.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not your fault. I knew he was acting funny, but I was too preoccupied with my own stuff,” Miller glanced towards Monty before turning back to Clarke. “I just thought it was stuff about you. I didn’t realize – God, I’m an asshole.”

“No, you’re not, Miller. He didn’t want you to know. He’s good at keeping things quiet. Remember when they lost power for like a week. He didn’t tell anyone. Just said they were trying to conserve energy.”

“Yeah, he’s the asshole,” Miller crossed her arms and Clarke smiled at him. “Is he – you’d tell me if he needs anything, right? I’m trusting you here with him, Clarke.”

“You’ll be my first call. I promise.”

“No more calling Raven first,” Miller shot her an accusatory look.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t going to tell her, but Bellamy said it was okay because Octavia would know soon so –“ 

“God, this just sucks,” Miller ran a hand down his face and then gave her an apologetic look. “There’s nothing your mom can do.”

“She’s already been trying. Apparently she found out weeks ago and has been helping Aurora make a lot of medical decisions. She got her into some trial out of New York, but all it will do is prolong – it’s too far along to do anything else.”

Miller nodded and Clarke had to remind herself that she’s known the Blakes since she was five and Jasper and Monty were always more her and Octavia’s friends, but Miller had always made it very clear that he was firmly in Bellamy’s corner – and well now Monty’s too.

Once in the car, Raven propped her feet on the dashboard and Clarke knocked them off.

“Okay, what are we walking into here?” Monty leaned forward from the middle seat to talk to Clarke.

“Octavia’s pissed at everyone – except Lincoln –“

“Wait, who’s Lincoln?” Miller interrupted.

“Lincoln’s here!” Raven yelled over Miller.

“Yeah, she called him last night. He flew across the country on a red eye flight to be here this morning,” Clarke glanced at Raven before turning back to the road.

“Who is Lincoln?” Jasper repeated Miller’s question.

“Octavia’s boyfriend,” Raven turned around and hit Jasper’s knee. “Don’t be weird.”

“Why would I be weird?” Jasper scrunched up to avoid another hit from Raven.

“Because you’re always weird,” Miller retorted. “I’m assuming since none of us knew about Lincoln that Bellamy didn’t know either.”

“No,” Clarke sighed. She was really tired of being in the middle of the Blake siblings and their secrets. She was going to have to draw a line in the sand soon. No more keeping secrets from the other – that was a good plan.

“How pissed was he?” Monty asked quietly.

“I have a feeling if Octavia wasn’t pissed, Lincoln might not be here. This is her way of getting back at her brother for keeping a secret and throwing me under the bus because I knew too. And I think Bellamy saw that and is trying to not get angry. So he’s just being passive-aggressive, but not an outright asshole.”

“What’s his arguments?” Raven propped her bad leg up on the dashboard again. “Because the Lincoln I know is a teddy bear.”

“You’ve never met him.”

“We’ve chatted a few times,” Raven shrugged.

“When?”

“When you were off doing stupid things with Bellamy,” Raven grinned and Clarke groaned. 

“I’m ignoring you the rest of the ride,” Clarke huffed.

“Let’s be real here, Griffin. I live with the guy and you still see more of him than me,” Miller tugged on a loose piece of her hair and she swatted him away.

“Fuck off, Miller.”

“Miller’s right. Because Bellamy basically lives on our couch,” Raven raised an eyebrow at Miller seated behind Clarke.

“Oooh,” Monty’s grin turned suspicious. “Not your bed, Clarke. I’m ashamed to call you my friend.”

“Monty Green!” Clarke’s jaw dropped and the car almost swerved into another lane. “When did you get like this?”

“It’s that new boyfriend of his,” Raven shook her head in mock disappointment. 

“Damn straight,” Miller’s grin could have broken his face and was met with laughter from everyone else in the car – the deep belly kind and it was exactly what Clarke needed and she knew it was what Bellamy and Octavia needed to. 

Later that night, after everyone had enjoyed too much food and too many laughs, Abby had gone home and Aurora had retired to bed leaving the kids to spend the rest of the night watching movies. Octavia was curled up in Lincoln’s lap in the smallest arm chair. Monty and Miller were lost in their own little world on the love seat. Raven and Jasper sat on opposite sides of the couch with their legs spread out between them. And Clarke and Bellamy were sprawled out on the floor with all the pillows and blankets they could find to make it more comfortable.

They were watching 50/50 – even with it’s depressing nature – it was a good movie that made a difficult topic easier to handle. And showed Bellamy and Clarke that Octavia had forgiven them when she stated she wanted to watch it.

Clarke needed to get some water and had to untangle herself from the blankets Bellamy had insisted she needed and disappeared into the kitchen. She should have not been surprised when Octavia followed her. They hadn’t had a moment alone together yet and Clarke knew it was coming. Octavia had it out with Bellamy last night and now she would have it out with Clarke.

“Hey,” Octavia leaned one hip up against the counter and Clarke turned around to offer her a small smile.

“Hey.”

“Look. I’m still a little pissed that you knew and you didn’t tell me.”

“I get that, Octavia,” Clarke placed her water glass on the counter and mirror Octavia’s pose. “But it wasn’t my secret to tell. And it wasn’t Bellamy’s either. I wasn’t even supposed to know. I just annoyed your brother until he told me.”

Octavia grimaced, “I know. And I know I sound ungrateful for being mad. It’s not the end of the world that I was the last to find out. I’m just pissed that you and Bell were going to keep it from me for however long.”

Clarke shook her head, “We couldn’t – I couldn’t. That’s why I offered to fly you out as a belated birthday present. I knew if I said hey come home, I’ll buy you wouldn’t have come without knowing why. And I couldn’t tell you that. So this was the next best thing.”

“I know,” Octavia sighed wearily. She pushed herself off of the counter and went to stand next to Clarke and leaned into her. “Is it sad that I’m sad about my mom, but I’m just as worried about Bellamy?”

“Why are you worried about Bellamy?” Clarke wrapped an arm around Octavia and pulled her closer.

“I said some mean things and he just let me say it. He’s always been the one to take my punches when they were really meant for my mom. He’s done everything for me and for her. Sometimes I worry because she never really treated him as a son – always as a partner and – he shouldn’t have had to have that life,” Octavia takes a steadying breath and without looking Clarke can tell she’s holding back tears. “And now when she’s gone, he’s going to feel responsible for me again – his stupid my sister, my responsibility mantra. And I love him for that, I do, Clarke. Don’t get me wrong, but I just want him to have his own life – where he’s not always worried about me or my mom.”

“Octavia,” Clarke rubbed a hand up and down Octavia’s arm to comfort her. “He’s Bellamy. He’s always going to be worried about somebody. If it wasn’t you or your mom – it would be Jasper getting hurt because he was running with his shoes untied. Or Miller falling too hard for Monty or Monty falling to hard for Miller. Or Raven’s leg acting up again and causing her pain. He’s always worrying about everyone else. That’s not going to change.”

“But my mom is supposed to worry about him. Who’s going to worry about him now?” Octavia turned her pleading eyes on Clarke and Clarke gave her a sad smile in return then squeezed her shoulder.

“We are. And them,’ Clarke nodded her head to the other room where everyone else was gathered. 

Octavia paused before she got the courage to ask her next question.

“Are you watching out for him? Like he needs someone to watch out for him? Like more than a friend?”

Clarke’s smile was tight because here it was again. Another person asking and that person wasn’t Bellamy still.

“I am, Octavia. I wouldn’t let anyone else do it either.”

“Good. I feel better leaving knowing the Griffins are taking care of my family,” Octavia rolled her eyes. “I don’t know what’s weirder. Everything with my mom or finding your mom and her laughing in the kitchen this afternoon like they were old friends.”

“Probably the second,” Clarke grinned. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“You seem really calm about all of this – besides the tears.”

“I think it’s still sinking in. But I got most of the anger out last night. I couldn’t really yell at my mom – even though she kept telling me it was her fault that she had asked Bellamy not to tell me, but I couldn’t yell at her. And Bell and I promised never to lie to each other when we were younger. Our life was shitty – we needed to always count on the other and know that they were telling the truth. And he didn’t.”

“I get that, but you didn’t see him, Octavia. He was a mess about everything.”

“Yeah, my mom said the same thing. She said he was walking around like a ghost – until last week.”

“What happened last week?” Clarke tried thinking about the doctor’s visit they had, but couldn’t come up with anything.

“He told you,” Octavia’s smile was still sad, but just a little bit brighter.

Clarke rolled her eyes, but she felt the blush spread along her cheeks and shoved Octavia away from her, “Shut up.”

Octavia grinned at her and the two lapsed into silence again.

“Also, Lincoln,” Octavia said quietly.

“Hm?”

“Lincoln lost his mother to cancer too. A few years ago. And he knew everything. From the first test to the last. He said it didn’t make a different knowing right away or finding out a few weeks later. It would all still hurt. I just had to get back up again.”

Clarke nodded, “That’s smart. I’m glad you have him to help you.”

“I took a swing at Bellamy last night,” Octavia grinned conspiratorially at Clarke. 

“Octavia,” Clarke sighed and rubbed a hand down her face.

“What? He deserved it. I forgave him and he forgave me. We’re good. And now so are me and you,” Octavia grinned at her and kicked her leg out to hit Clarke’s butt. “Now, let’s go back and watch our boyfriend kick cancer’s ass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think - either down below in the comments, with a kudo, or on [tumblr](http://thediaryofanerdygirlygirl.tumblr.com/).


	19. and as our lives change / come whatever / we will still be / friends forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IT'S GRADUATION DAY, BITCHES!!!
> 
> (takes place a few months after the last chapter)
> 
> Title from Graduation (Friends Forever) by Vitamin C and I'm dating myself because this was the big song at my 8th grade graduation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE!! So I've had this chapter done for MONTHS and was waiting to post it until the next chapter was finished, but I've been really stuck on it and I've been busy with studying for the bar and graduating law school and my cousin got married yesterday (which I didn't really do anything to help with, but it feels important to mention and probably explain why I'm not really studying today) and I just said screw it I want to post this chapter.
> 
> Honestly, it's not the best. It was meant to be a filler chapter because I wanted the last chapter to be in Clarke's POV and the next to be in her's too so this had to be in Bellamy's.
> 
> Since it's been so long, here's a bit of what happened in the last chapter (and I only know because I went back and reread the last chapter!): Octavia found out about Aurora's cancer and got into a fight with Bellamy (there's a little flash back of that here - I'm going to give a trigger warning only because Octavia throws a punch at Bellamy and he admits the only reason why she actually hit him was because he was unprepared for it) and the entire gang came down from NY for the weekend and Octavia and Clarke had a heart to heart about Clarke taking care of Bellamy. I think that's all you need to know for this chapter.

It had been months since he had last seen Octavia. She was pissed at first. Their fight the night she found out about their mom was one of their worst fights – she even took a swing at him. He had been so surprised that she caught him in the jaw. Octavia would have continued swinging if it wasn’t for his mom and how loud she yelled at Octavia to stop.

_“Octavia Marie!” Aurora shouted. “This is not Bellamy’s fault. I made him promise not to tell you. You’re almost ready to graduate and thinking about the future. I didn’t want you worrying about me.”_

_“Mom,” Bellamy started._

_“No!” Octavia interrupted him. “This isn’t fair. You don’t get to take the blame because I can’t be_ mad _at you for dying. I can be mad at_ him _!”_

_“I’m sorry, O,” Bellamy stepped closer to her._

_“You made me a promise when we were kids – that we would_ never _lie to each other. We would_ always _tell each other_ everything _. And you told_ Clarke _! And_ not _me!”_

_“I – I’m sorry. I know. I hate myself for not telling you. I – I just_ couldn’t _.”_

_“Why could you tell Clarke and not me?” Octavia’s voice was at the highest octave it could probably reach without breaking glass._

_“I don’t know,” Bellamy rubbed both his hands down his face and tried to tell Octavia. He wanted to tell her that he loved Clarke that he needed her in a way that he couldn’t need Octavia. A part of him knew that if he told Octavia that she would need his support and reassurances. But if he told Clarke, he wouldn’t have to give that to her and she could give him that support and reassurances. And he hated himself for even thinking that._

_“He told Clarke because I told him he could. Abby knew and it made sense that Clarke should know too,” Aurora interrupted from her seat on the couch._

_Octavia’s head turned back towards Aurora and Bellamy watched the fight play out on Octavia’s face. She knew their mother was lying. Bellamy knew that Octavia knew Aurora was taking all of the blame – why? He didn’t know._

_“Mom – “ Bellamy warned._

_“No, Bellamy. I will not let Octavia be mad at you for my choices. Never again,” Aurora said quietly and Bellamy turned to her remembering when they were younger and Bellamy had to hide things from Octavia about how much they struggled some times._

_Octavia was watching Aurora closely and then seemed to nod to herself, “Fine. I’m still pissed.” Octavia turned and stormed out of the room._

Bellamy remembered that Octavia had gone to her room for a few hours before returning while they were watching reruns of some stupid sitcom in silence. Octavia had pushed her way between the two of them and curled herself around Aurora, but reached over and took Bellamy’s hand in one of hers and squeezed it before focusing on the TV show. He knew he wasn’t completely forgiven, but he was on the road to forgiveness.

Now he was sitting on an airplane heading towards California to watch Octavia graduate. A trip that was always supposed to be him and his mom, but one he was taking alone. He worked double hours at the bar and at Aurora’s store whenever he could to save up enough for the two of them to fly out, but of course, cancer doesn’t take that into consideration. This morning Aurora said she was feeling too tired to make the trip and didn’t want to cause any problems. Octavia was pissed, but when she quietly asked if he was still coming, he couldn’t say no to her. So he called Abby up (which was still surprising thing to do) and asked her to stay with his mom this weekend while he was in California. Abby reminded him that Clarke was graduating on Sunday so she would ask Vera to check in on Aurora that day.

It’s just before takeoff when a flurry of activity draws his eye to the front of the plane. All he saw was a blonde messy bun before the person dropped into the seat next to him.

“Traffic was a bitch,” Clarke muttered as she tried to organize the two bags she brought with her. A flight attendant came by and took one to place in an overhead bin while Clarke shoved the other under her seat. 

Bellamy just stared at her. His eyebrows had probably left his forehead at this point and he was sure his mouth was hanging open.

“What?” Clarke’s eyebrows pinched together as she looked at him in confusion.

  
_“What?”_ Bellamy just looked around before his eyes landed back on her. “What do you mean _what_? Where did you come from? Why are you here? What is going on?”

“Oh,” Clarke grinned. “Aurora called. She told me she couldn’t make the trip with you and asked if I could go instead. So I said yes.”

“You have graduation this week?” Bellamy gaped at her.

“Yeah,” Clarke rolled her eyes. “On Sunday. I’m going to fly home after Octavia’s graduation on Saturday. It’ll be fine.” Clarke waved her hand dismissing his concern.

“You – you just can’t fly across the country like this?” Bellamy stared at her in frustration.

“Bell,” Clarke started quietly. “Octavia should have an entire cheering section. Just because she decided to fly across the country doesn’t mean she shouldn’t have people supporting her. I was going to try and fly out with my mom anyway, but this works too.”

“I love you,” Bellamy stated simply.

“What are friends for?” Clarke smiled at him and Bellamy wanted to correct her, but he just didn’t have it in him. Not now. Not when everything was going to shit. He knew he was going to be a mess and Clarke deserved better than that. She didn’t deserve having to take care of him while he mourned. So he would wait and make sure she knew how he felt about her when he could give her everything she deserved. She also didn’t deserve being told he loved her while they were sitting on a plane that smelled like vomit and her seat was being kicked by the kid sitting behind her.

Clarke slept most of the flight and Bellamy let her – especially when her head landed on his shoulder. It still amazed him that this girl – this beautiful, amazing, stubborn girl felt anything for him. He was still unsure the depths of those feelings. But just having her in his life like this was worth it.

Bellamy hadn’t been able to get out of work the day before Octavia’s graduation so he was flying out the morning of her graduation. He wasn’t even sure if he would be able to see her before the ceremony.

Once their flight landed, Clarke and Bellamy ran through the airport and grabbed a cab and were able to reach the ceremony shortly before it started, but Octavia was already lined up with the other graduates. Clarke stood on her toes as she scanned the crowd and Bellamy was about to ask her what she was doing when she grabbed his arm and pointed.

“There! Lincoln said he would save us seats,” Clarke pulled him towards the other man and the two made their way through the crowd.

Bellamy had not been happy when he found out Octavia – twenty-two year old Octavia was dating Lincoln, who recently celebrated his thirtieth birthday, but when Octavia started letting Lincoln drift into her stories, Bellamy realized that the woman Octavia had become – the woman he complimented her on growing into – that woman was because of Lincoln. He taught her patience and gave her a direction to point all that determination and purpose she had been born with. He’ll admit that he was a little jealous that Octavia had found someone that complimented her so well and brought out the best in her.

Clarke continually told him that he had nothing to worry about with Lincoln and Bellamy had thought she meant Lincoln would never hurt his sister (which was true) and when Bellamy finally conceded that point, Clarke just laughed at him and told him that she meant Lincoln would never replace Bellamy’s place in Octavia’s life and that Bellamy gave Octavia all the tools she needed to become the person she was. Lincoln just showed her that her brother wasn’t wrong. Bellamy just stared at her confused until she patted him on his head and told him to get his eyes checked because he was squinting at his books again.

Octavia’s graduation was well worth the headache of flying across the country and getting to the ceremony with only ten minutes to spare. Watching his little sister cross the stage of an Ivy League school, was something he never thought he would see when he was twelve and having to shovel driveways while his friends were out enjoying the snow day just to make twenty extra dollars to help his mom keep the heat on. It was made even better when Octavia found them in the crowd and ran towards him yelling his name as she threw herself into his arms. Bellamy couldn’t keep the smile off his face for the rest of the day.

The four of them went out to dinner and Lincoln demanded that he pay – since Bellamy and Clarke had flown across country. It would have deteriorated into Bellamy arguing that Octavia was _his sister_ and he would pay for her celebratory dinner, but Clarke slipped her hand into his and gave it a quick squeeze and Octavia responded with a grin, “Lincoln just got this great job that he’s really excited about. It’s going to pay a lot so he’s been wanting to splurge on more things now.”

And Bellamy knew how predictable he was that the two of them knew exactly why he was going to argue.

“Clarke, are you excited about tomorrow?” Octavia asked after she spent some time glaring at Bellamy trying to tell him something he didn’t understand.

“Of course. I’m just bummed that I can’t stay here and celebrate with you more. I’ve got to get a plane tonight to make it home in time for tomorrow.”

“Wait – what?” Bellamy turned to face her.

Clarke raised an eyebrow at him, “I have to leave tonight. My flight is in a few hours. I’ll land sometime around two in the morning and be able to catch some sleep before the ceremony at ten.”

“Oh,” Bellamy glanced back at his food. “I didn’t realize you would have to leave that quickly.”

Clarke elbowed him lightly, “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Miller and Monty are picking me up. I’ll be getting home safe and sound.”

“Yeah,” Bellamy said not meeting her eyes. He excused himself from the table shortly after that and made his way to the bathroom where he spent some time making a few phone calls and returned to the table smiling.

“You were gone a long time,” Octavia raised an eyebrow. “Got lost?”

“No my advisor called. Forgot today was your graduation and wanted to discuss something. I let him rant for a while before I reminded him,” Bellamy gave her a smirk in return and Octavia rolled her eyes.

After dinner, Lincoln and Clarke wandered ahead of Bellamy and Octavia pretending to want to look at some art sculptures that were on display in the downtown area, but really giving them some alone time. Bellamy wrapped an arm around his sister and pulled her close to his side.

“I’m really proud of you, O.”

“And I’m really proud of you, big brother,” Octavia leaned up and smacked a kiss on his cheek. “I’m really lucky to have a brother like you.”

Bellamy grinned at her and pressed a kiss onto the crown of her hair, “You know my life didn’t start until the day you were born.”

“I know, Bell. You tell me all the time,” Octavia paused and seemed to weight her next words (which was rare for Octavia). “But it’s time you started living your own life, okay?”

“I know, O. I’m trying,” Bellamy sighed and Octavia raised an eyebrow while leaning back to look at him closer.

“I thought that would be harder.”

Bellamy smiled, “I figured you were talking about Clarke?”

“I was,” Octavia started slowly. “You love her.”

“I do.”

“Then why aren’t you guys together. You know she loves you too, right?”

“I know. I’m not positive, but I think she does.”

“She does.”

Bellamy turned to watch Clarke and Lincoln ahead of them standing in front of a large cow painted yellow with various trees and _sold_ signs across it.

“You deserve someone as great as Clarke, you know that, right Bellamy?”

“I do, Octavia. It’s just – I figured out how I felt and didn’t know how she felt and by the time I figured out we might feel the same, Mom was sick. I don’t really know what to do. If I tell her now, she’ll have to deal with the mess I’ll be when – it’s just not a good time.”

“I really want to strangle you, but I get it. If I didn’t have Lincoln now, I probably wouldn’t want to start something now. I wouldn’t want him to think that our entire relationship would be about him taking care of me. But you know Clarke won’t see it like that, right?”

“I know she won’t. She just deserves someone who will be whole when he tells her he loves her. And I want to make sure she gets everything she deserves and I want to be the one to give her all of that.”

“Wow,” Octavia’s eyes were wide. “My big brother went and fell in love with my best friend. Who would have thought.”

Bellamy threw his head laughing, “According to you, it was bound to happen.”

“I know, but it was a pipe dream four years ago when I sent you two off to New York. Now it’s a reality. Apparently I need to move across the country to get things done,” Octavia smirked and Bellamy shook his head as they caught up with Lincoln and Clarke, who were discussing the style of painting used on the cow.

“You two do realize that this is literally a cow advertising the real estate office behind it, right?” Octavia asked and Lincoln and Clarke glanced up from the cow to check their surroundings.

“Oh,” Clarke laughed.

Lincoln grinned at Octavia, “It’s still art.”

Bellamy shook his head not understanding Lincoln’s love for art, but he couldn’t really say anything since he barely understood Clarke’s.

Clarke glanced at her father’s watch on her wrist, “I should catch a cab if I’m going to make my flight.”

“I’ll come with you,” Bellamy offered.

“Bellamy,” Clarke sighed in exasperation. “It’s stupid of you to take a cab all the way to the airport and back. Think of all the money you’ll be spending.”

“Actually,” Bellamy smirked at her and squeezed Octavia’s shoulders where she was tucked into his side. “While we were at the restaurant, I called the airport and was able to change my flight to fly home with you tonight. Guess I’ll get to see you both graduate.”

Octavia laughed and patted his chest and Clarke’s smile turned blinding.

As they were saying their goodbyes, Octavia pulled him in closely and whispered in his ear, “Smooth with the flight change, big brother.”

“I try.”

“Keep me updated on Mom, okay? I’ll be home soon.”

“I will. Love you, O.”

“Love you too, big brother.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cow that Clarke and Lincoln are admiring really exists in Miami, Florida where I lived for a few years and when my parents came to visit we took my dog for a walk and there is a picture of my dog sitting on the cow. 
> 
> Comments & kudos are always appreciated! I'm also on [tumblr](thediaryofanerdygirlygirl.tumblr.com) if you're into that.
> 
> I can't promise when the next chapter will be up, but I can promise that I have something else completed that I'll be posting soon and a few other things that are on the verge of being finished. I'm slowly writing when I have the time, but I won't be posting regularly again until sometime in August.


	20. he's a giggle at a funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Octavia’s gone. My mom’s gone. Everyone’s gone and – and I’m still just here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from a cover of "Take Me to Church" by Sofia Karlberg (it's really good and she has some other good stuff too if you're interested). I feel like I should put a trigger warning here just for general grief and mourning. I don't think it's heavy on the emotions, but I want to make sure everyone is okay.
> 
> It's not an author's note from me if it isn't long. So I did it in a list format.
> 
> 1\. I'm (hopefully) done from extended hiatuses. Fingers crossed but I find out in October and I feel better about this one. 
> 
> 2\. I want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has commented or left kudos on this thing at any point in time. I was getting a little frustrated with how everything was turning out the other day and just not liking where the story was going overall. But I went back and read some of the comments you guys left on the last couple of chapters and they made me smile and motivated me to fix what I needed to so I could finish this story for everyone. So thank you again! You're all the sweetest people in the world and I wish I could hug you all to say thank you!
> 
> 3\. My goal is to finish this by the end of August (that's when I start full-time work with my first post-school job). I really thought this was one of those things that would never ever happen, but over the last few days I've gone over what I have and what needs to be written and I feel good about saying I should be done writing it before September rolls around.
> 
> 4\. With that said, I have finalized the general outline and it will be 30 chapters (so we only have 10 more after this one), but I already planned to have a series of one-shots within this universe. They're different memories and moments that don't really fit within the story itself, but I wanted to write anyway. I have no idea when they will all be written, but I will start as soon as I finish writing all of Yours. Mostly because the longer I wait the more I come up with stories involving the other characters and not just Bellarke anymore. With that, I would STRONGLY suggest you subscribe to the series, if you want to, but especially if you are a Minty fan. After chapter 21 is posted, there may or may not be a Minty drabble coming you're way, but I can't say anything else ;) 
> 
> 5\. This was beta'd by the lovely [notnicorette](http://archiveofourown.org/users/notnicorette/pseuds/notnicorette). This would have been a mess if it hadn't been for your help so thank you sooo much! 
> 
> 6\. That's it! Enjoy!

The day was sunny and beautiful. Such a far cry from the day they buried Jake Griffin – a storm that could only match Clarke’s mood tore through the town. But the day they buried Aurora Blake seemed to match Aurora’s personality – beautiful and shining.

Clarke had taken to sleeping at the Blakes’ house, but the night Aurora passed, Clarke had dinner with her mom. Halfway through, she got a call from Bellamy simply telling her Aurora was gone. She and her mother hopped in the car and drove the few blocks over. Abby took care of calling the funeral home and the logistics of everything.

Clarke wandered upstairs. She found Octavia curled up in her bed with Lincoln sobbing. She cracked the door and poked her head in, but Lincoln shook his just a little letting her know she wasn’t needed so she wandered down the hall to Bellamy’s room. He was curled on his side with his back to the door so Clarke slipped quietly into the room and wrapped herself around him – his body shook with silent sobs.

The next morning heralded the arrival of the rest of their group from New York who took up so much space and made so much noise it was easy to get lost in it. The next few days were a blur, but every night was the same – all of them found themselves sleeping in Aurora’s room reminding Clarke of when her father died and her friends surrounded her.

The morning of Aurora’s funeral, Clarke found herself sitting on Octavia’s bed watching Raven brush Octavia’s hair and add a few braids to pull the front pieces back from her face. Clarke had already ironed Octavia’s dress making sure the wrinkles were out and she could hear Miller, Monty, Jasper, and Lincoln downstairs discussing who would be driving and how they would be getting to the church.

Clarke slid off the bed and wandered down the hall finding Bellamy’s door cracked open and a shadow moving across the door opening. Clarke pushed it open more and found Bellamy standing in front of a mirror attempting to tie his tie.

“Let me help,” Clarke stepped into the room and quickly looped the tie around to secure it for him. She used to do it for her dad and later Wells.

“Thanks,” Bellamy muttered straightening the tie and reaching for the hair gel.

“Anytime,” Clarke reached out and took the hair gel from him and put it in the garbage can. When she turned around Bellamy had one eyebrow raised. “You’ll thank me later.”

“Thanks,” Bellamy repeated.

“It’s not later, Bell,” Clarke smiled softly.

“No, I know. I just meant for everything you’ve done since – these last few days.”

“That’s what family is for, Bellamy,” Clarke gave him a sad smile.

“Clarke,” Bellamy said softly.

“Bellamy,” Clarke copied his tone. “In all seriousness, that week after my dad died was the worst week of my life and I know I could have made it. I would have been okay, eventually, but I knew I was going to be okay because I had you.”

“Octavia can be a force to reckon with,” Bellamy fiddled with his tie.

“Not Octavia,” Clarke took his hand. “Not Miller or Monty or Jasper. Just you. You were the one who almost broke down my door. You were the one that held me while I cried. You were the one who took me out when I needed to get out of the house, but didn’t want to be alone. You were the one who would roll down the windows and sing off key with me. You were the one who talked about my dad with me – only when I wanted to. You were there for me,” Clarke took a deep breath to control the tears that made their way to her eyes. “You were. I can never repay you for that, but I can try to give you a little bit of the peace you gave me.”

A tear must have escaped because Bellamy’s thumb came up to wipe it away.

“You already have, princess.”

Clarke felt a smile cross her face that she knew she hadn’t seen in a while – about as long as it had been since Bellamy called her that. She forgot how much she missed it from him. It was a reminder of his old self peeking through and she knew he was going to be okay.

“Clarke? Bellamy?” Raven’s voice carried from downstairs. “You guys about ready?”

“Yeah,” Clarke cleared the lump in her throat. “Yeah, we’re coming.”

Bellamy turned around to grab his suit jacket and Clarke took it to help him into it.

“Ready?” Clarke asked quietly.

“No,” Bellamy answered truthfully, shrugging. Clarke reached out and intertwined her fingers with his and walked out of his room together.

The funeral was beautiful and Clarke found herself seated between the Blake siblings once again in the same church they had been in for her father’s funeral. While Octavia had her arm linked with Lincoln’s for most of the service, her other hand found Clarke’s occasionally and gave a squeeze.

Clarke had attempted to sit behind the two siblings with the rest of their friends, but as soon as Bellamy saw her sitting there he reached a hand out and pulled her around the pew to sit between them. He squeezed her hand – and he didn’t let go until it was time to give the eulogy.

Bellamy always spoke beautifully and this time was no different. He spoke of how his mother was far from perfect, but she was perfect for them. How Aurora worked hard to provide for her children and offer them a better life. How even in her last days she forced them to continue with their schooling and reminded them day in and day out to never give up on their dreams. Clarke was sure there wasn’t a dry eye in that church when Bellamy stepped down. When he reached for Clarke’s hand again she squeezed it with both of hers and gave him a watery smile.

The Blakes (with Abby and Clarke’s help) hosted a repast at the Blake home and the afternoon was spent remembering Aurora with quiet conversations and laughter and tears. After the last mourner had left and all that was left was Bellamy, Octavia, and their friends, Clarke wandered into the kitchen to start putting food away and cleaning up the dishes.

“Hey,” a deep and familiar voice called from the doorway.

Clarke turned around to find Wells standing in his military uniform. “Hey, Wells,” Clarke gave him a sad smile as he crossed the kitchen to stand next to her. “How are you?”

“How are you?” Wells asked instead. “You knew Aurora better than me and I can tell you’ve been here every day since –.”

“I’m okay. Mostly worried about Bellamy and Octavia.”

“That sounds about right,” Wells paused. “How are they?”

“They’re about as good as can be expected. The last few days have been hard, but they’ll get there.” Clarke nodded as she dipped her hands into the sink to start on the next dish and Wells grabbed a towel to help dry.

“How’s Michigan?” Clarke asked.

“Wouldn’t know. I’m stationed in North Carolina right now,” Wells grinned.

“Oh, right. I’m sorry. I saw that the other day on Facebook.”

“You know, I see a lot on Facebook too,” Wells gave her a mischievous smile. “When did you and Blake get together?”

“We didn’t,” Clarke turned to him confusedly trying to remember what she posted on Facebook recently.

“Really? That’s not what I see. I see a lot of pictures of the two of you sitting close and smiling at each other while you stare lovingly into each other’s eyes.”

“Shut up, Wells,” Clarke laughed softly. “It’s not like that.”

“Not yet,” Wells paused to see if Clarke would contradict it.

Clarke focused back on the dishes. “Anyway,” Clarke started raising her eyebrows to Wells. “How are you? What have you been doing down in North Carolina?”

“Funny you should mention that,” Wells cleared his throat, pulled out his phone and pulled up a picture that he showed to Clarke. “That’s my fiancé, Sasha.”

“What?!” Clarke reached for the phone forgetting her hands were soaking wet and pulled it close to examine the fiancée and the ring. “That is gorgeous, Wells. Congrats. I’m really happy for you.”

Clarke wrapped her hands around his shoulders and pulled him in for a long hug, sniffling as she tried to hold back tears. Clarke vaguely heard a door closing somewhere nearby as she tightened her hold on Wells.

“Hey, you okay, Clarke?” Wells asked softly.

“Yeah, no, I’m great. Okay. I’m just really happy for you and this is perfect news to get today. Thank you for telling me.”

Clarke pulled back and wiped at her face trying to dry her tears. Wells reached over and handed her a handkerchief.

Clarke looked at it before she started laughing, “Where did you get this?”

“I’ve been told that all gentlemen are supposed to carry them,” Wells said primly and Clarke continued to laugh remembering when she was in her Southern belle stage and demanded that Wells (as her boyfriend) acted the part of a Southern gentleman (or at least her idea of one).

“Hey, Clarke,” Octavia appeared in the doorway and smiled at Wells before turning back to Clarke. “Have you seen Bell?”

“Wasn’t he just in the living room?” Clarke asked as she quickly dried her still soapy hands.

“No, he got up and I saw him head in this direction then the back door opened and closed. I thought he just went outside for some air, but he’s still not back yet.”

“I think I might know where to find him.”

“That’s why I thought I would ask you first,” Octavia smiled before turning to Wells. Clarke said her goodbyes and slipped out the back door making the familiar trek about a mile away from the Blake house.

Clarke pushed open the wrought iron gate and made her way up the path they had just hiked down after burying Aurora. She stopped at the woman’s grave finding it covered in fresh dirt and a small plaque with her name and dates, but no Bellamy. Clarke turned and began walking further into the cemetery towards the familiar path she had taken for years. She spotted dark curls leaning up against a headstone, facing another, more familiar headstone.

Clarke slowly approached and could hear Bellamy talking to her father.

“. . . so yeah, you were right. I should have listened to you, Jake. God, so many things would be different right now if I had. Instead, I was some stupid teenage boy who couldn’t get his head out of his own ass to see what was right in front of him. I’m sorry it took me so long to see what you were talking about.”

Clarke watched Bellamy lift a clear bottle to his mouth and take a long sip before it disappeared from sight. She waited to see if he was done talking before she got any closer.

“Hey, Dad,” Clarke said softly as she sat down next to Bellamy and pulled her legs underneath her, tucking her dress over her bare legs. “Today’s been a bad day. I’m sure Bellamy has told you all about it already so we won’t rehash it. I’m good. Mom’s good. She started dating again. I know. I thought it was ridiculous too, but he makes her happy so who am I to judge,” Clarke shrugged her shoulders. “He’s a good guy. A workaholic like her so they get along great,” Clarke laughed quietly. “I really miss you and I love you and I hope you’re still up there watching over us all, but most importantly, I hope you and Aurora are together and making sure us kids don’t screw everything up too much.”

Clarke sighed and wiped a few stray tears from her eyes, leaning back to rest against the back of the headstone across from her dad. They sat there in silence for a few minutes and Clarke waited allowing Bellamy to take the time he needed.

“How did you find me?” Bellamy finally asked.

“Lucky guess,” Clarke turned her head to offer him a wry grin, but Bellamy’s red eyes remained locked on her dad’s grave.

Clarke pulled herself closer to Bellamy and settled in next to him resting her head on his shoulder and waiting for him to talk.

“Everything’s going to be different now,” Bellamy started quietly. Clarke didn’t respond because she knew all too well how things were different when you lost a parent – or really anyone you were close to. It was hard to imagine a life without someone like that in it.

“Octavia’s gone. My mom’s gone. Everyone’s gone and – and I’m still just here.”

Clarke knew he was drinking moonshine out of that plastic bottle because Bellamy only ever opened up like this when he drank too much moonshine.

“Octavia’s going to stay in California with Lincoln. They’re going to get married and have kids and I’ll just be the weird uncle who lives in New York and only ever sees them on holidays and Mom’s gone and there’s no one left,” Bellamy chocked on a sob and Clarke tried to think of when Octavia said she was moving to California permanently. She had been adamant it was only for school, keeping her New Jersey license and refusing to get a permanent address in California so Clarke wasn’t sure where this was coming from.

“Bell,” Clarke started softly. “I don’t think Octavia is staying in California.”

“Yes, she is. She’s leaving me – everyone is leaving me.”

“Bell,” Clarke turned to look at him. “Did Octavia say she was moving to California?”

“Well, no, but she will – for Lincoln – I know she will,” Bellamy’s eyes remained forward.

“Bellamy, even if Octavia decides to stay in California – which I don’t think she will – she’s still your family and she’ll love you no matter what.”

“Clarke, she’s the only family I have left.”

“No, she’s not Bellamy. You have all of us, don’t you realize that? We’re your family too.”

Bellamy snorted.

Clarke reached over with one hand and placed her palm on his cheek to turn his face towards her. “You have an enormous family, Bellamy Blake,” Clarke said sternly. “You have Miller, who loves you like a brother and a best friend. He would go to the ends of the Earth for you. Do you imagine it was easy for him to come out, being a football jock and a person of color in our small town? He did it because you didn’t give a shit what anyone thought about him. You loved him, you were his friend and that’s all anyone else saw so they accepted him. Then there’s Monty and Jasper who hero-worshipped you for so long and when we all became friends, you treated them as you would have treated anyone who was a friend of yours. They were tormented all freshman year until you and Miller sat with them after that party they got Octavia and I out of before the cops showed up. That told the rest of the school they were off limits because you were in their debt. And what about Raven? I know she’s new to our little group, but after the Finn thing she stuck around because she knew you had her back – just like you had mine. You may have been harsh with her because you felt she was to blame, but you took care of her just as much as you took care of me. You adopt people into this little dysfunctional family and you say you don’t care about them, but your actions have always spoken louder than your words, Bellamy Blake. And what about me?”

Bellamy’s eyes snapped to hers from where he had been avoiding eye contact while Clarke held his face in place.

“I need you – we’ve got this little family and I need someone to help me take care of it. I need someone to remind me when to eat when I’m stressing about studying. I need someone to argue with me when I need to be taken down a notch or two. I need you, Bellamy. We all do. You’re not losing your family. You’ve lost one member. Even if Octavia decides to stay in California, you won’t lose her. She needs you too. You’ll always be her big brother no matter how many miles are between you.”

Clarke watched as silent tears streamed down his face. She slipped her hand around to the back of his neck, pulling him into her and holding him. She felt Bellamy drop the bottle of moonshine and wrap his arms around her waist to pull her closer. She squeezed him tight and just let him cry.

Clarke didn’t know how long they sat there and she didn’t care because she knew Bellamy needed this. He’d cried the night his mom died and had remained stoic ever since, but he needed to let it out when it happened and not hold it in. Clarke knew what would happen when you held that kind of grief in – she’d witnessed it with her own mother six months after her father died and she didn’t want to see Bellamy go through that.

Bellamy let out one more shaky breath and then squeezed Clarke once before pulling back to give her a shy, sad smile.

“Sorry about –“

“Don’t be,” Clarke cut him off with a shake of her head. “Don’t ever be sorry for your grief.”

“Thanks,” Bellamy sighed. “We should get back. I can’t feel my butt anymore.”

Clarke laughed. “That’s why you shouldn’t sit on the hard ground, old man.”

“Whatever,” Bellamy stood and gave Clarke a hand to pull her to her feet. “You call me old man now, but when you need your shower unclogged –“

“You’re my knight in shining armor,” Clarke laughed as she looped her arm through Bellamy’s and tugged him back to his house.

“You’re the next Attorney General and Raven is a literal rocket scientist. How is it you cannot figure out how to unclog a shower drain?”

“Oh we know how to unclog it. We would just rather you do it.” Clarke grinned at his raised eyebrow.

“Why?”

“Because it’s gross!”

“It’s your hair!”

“Exactly. You saw the little animal-sized ball of hair that came out of our drain last time.”

“Never again, princess. You two are on your own now.”

“You say that now, but as soon as we’re ankle deep in the shower, you’ll come running.”

Bellamy just shook his head and ducked it on a smile.

They reached the Blake house and Bellamy pulled the front door open, and waived Clarke in before him. She grabbed his hand and pulled him in behind her.

As soon as they entered the living room, a cheer went up among their friends and Miller passed Bellamy a beer as Octavia waved him towards her. Bellamy sat at her feet and Clarke fell into the arm chair that Raven was squeezed into resting her head on Raven’s shoulder as Jasper continued the story he was telling about the time Aurora taught him to make brownies not knowing he was planning to use that knowledge to make pot brownies.

“Oh, she knew,” Octavia laughed. “Told me to never eat a brownie you offered me.”

The group laughed more with tears running down their faces as they continued.

“Hey,” Raven said quietly while Miller launched into a story. “Everything okay?”

Clarke smiled at her, “It will be.”

The group stayed up a few more hours before making their way to their rooms or passing out on the couch. Clarke headed back into the kitchen to finish cleaning up and was surprised to find Octavia followed her in.

“Thanks again, Clarke.”

“For what?”

“For taking care of Bell.”

“Octavia –“

“No, Clarke. You deserve to be thanked for this. I know you don’t think you do. That you’re just repaying a favor or something.”

“Octavia –“

“I also know that you love my brother and for that I am grateful.”

Clarke sighed as she started putting the dishes she’d washed earlier away.

“Just – thank you. For everything,” Octavia said quietly before disappearing

Clarke sighed and lowered her head over the sink. She could feel the tension in her back and the exhaustion throughout her body. Clarke took a deep breath and turned shutting the kitchen light off and making her way upstairs.

She passed Raven, who was asleep stretched out on the couch with her bad leg propped up on the arm. Jasper was curled up in the arm chair. Monty and Miller were on the floor on an air mattress. Upstairs, Octavia’s light was off and Clarke knew Lincoln was with her.

Turning to her left, Clarke saw Bellamy’s light still on and she smiled to herself before she pushed the door open and made her way towards his dresser.

“Hey,” Bellamy said quietly. He was stretched out across one half of his bed with a worn book in his hands and his reading glasses on wearing pajama pants and a shirt – which he never slept in.

“Hey,” Clarke threw over her shoulder opening his t-shirt drawer.

Clarke turned back around and unzipped her dress pulling the shirt on over her head. Clarke turned around just in time to catch Bellamy looking back down at the book in his hand and she smiled.

“See something you like, Blake?” Clarke grinned as she thought about pulling her bra off too, but that might send him running and she really just wanted to sleep.

“I’m a guy, princess. I’m not perfect. When a girl comes into my room and starts pulling her clothes off and pulling mine on, I’m going to watch.”

Clarke shrugged. “I could have gone into the bathroom if I really cared.” Clarke crossed the room and pulled back one half of the covers, sliding into the bed and readjusting the pillows before laying on her side and watching him pretend to read.

“You’re sleeping here?”

“Do you want me to sleep somewhere else?”

Bellamy was focused on the book in his hand and he just shrugged.

“I can if you want me to, Bell,” Clarke said quietly.

“No,” Bellamy shook his head before sighing and closing the book. He slid into the bed next to her and turned on his side to face her. “I’d rather you were here.”

“Okay,” Clarke smiled at him as she closed her eyes and wiggled around getting comfortable.

“Clarke,” Bellamy said quietly once she was settled. “Thanks for everything.”

Clarke didn’t bother responding as she was already falling asleep, but she swore she felt him press a kiss to her forehead before she was completely gone or it could have been her imagination after a long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments and kudos are appreciated or you can come talk to me on [tumblr](thediaryofanerdygirlygirl.tumblr.com).


	21. but no, i'm not leaving, even though i'm bleeding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy needs a date... featuring some special guest stars ;) see if you can find them...
> 
> Title from Comeback Kid by The Band Perry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. I know I said I would have this completely written by August 25 and I failed you all. Life got in the way. Long story short, I had planned to finish this after I got everything I needed to do before starting work out of the way. As soon as that finished, my judge called me and said he was transferring to a different county and did I want to go with him? Well, I said yes. Which meant I had to do everything I already did - again. So I have no idea when this will be finished, but hopefully before it hits it's 2 year mark. 
> 
> On the positive side, this thing just hit over 900 kudos!!! Thank you guys so much for all the love you have given me!! I love waking up to comments & kudos or finding messages on tumblr! Mostly because I love talking with everyone and it's great to see what you all think of this little story of mine! I can't thank you guys enough.. So as a very small thank you, here is chapter 21 (and keep an eye out tomorrow, I'll be posting my first drabble in this universe to help you get through your Monday blues). 
> 
> Another awesome thank you to notnicorette for betaing this chapter. You are taking an incredibly awkward rambling mess (I have sooo many run on sentences that I don't even realize) and making it coherent. Thank you!
> 
> If you're really interested in Clarke's dress (because I'm not the best at describing clothes that exist), watch The Flash season 1 episode 17. Towards the end, Iris attends a fundraiser for the Mayor and that's the dress I imagined for Clarke. I spent a long time getting a screenshot off of Netflix for you all, but I can't figure out how to get it on here.

Octavia discreetly wipes her eyes, but a smile still crosses her face.

“We need to go visit Mom soon, Bell. It’s been too long.”

“Yeah, we do.” Bellamy smiles at his sister, who has her arm wrapped around Lincoln’s much larger one and is curled into his side.

“That was probably the worst thing to see,” Raven says quietly. “Not just that you guys lost your mom, but Clarke during that time. She was so worried about everyone else that she ended up getting the flu two weeks later.”

“She did?” Bellamy turns towards Raven.

“Yeah, she didn’t want you guys to know so we just hid in our apartment for a week. It was kind of easy because you were still mourning, so she just sent you regular texts to make sure you were okay and puppy memes to make you smile.”

Bellamy grins. He remembers that time period. He and Octavia had spent a long time going through their childhood home and packing things for storage and trying to decide if they should sell the house or not. They’d already sold the store before Aurora’s death, but the house was so much harder to decide on. It took them almost a year before they were finally ready to sell it. And it was only because Abby had told them that they would always have a home to come back to at her home – which was still weird, at the time, how much Abby wanted to be there as emotional support. But Abby and Clarke had transformed two of the guest rooms into exact replicas of Bellamy and Octavia’s childhood rooms. It was, again, weird, but Abby looked so happy that Bellamy and Octavia couldn’t say anything and whenever they went back it was hard to walk into those rooms, but Abby had tried so hard to be there for them that they didn’t want to disappoint her.

(It did fulfill Bellamy’s pre-pubescent dream to have a hot blonde sleeping in that bedroom because Clarke always preferred staying in that room rather than her childhood room – even without him there.)

“That year was the worst,” Bellamy says quietly and can feel every pair of eyes on him. “I’m not sure I would have survived without Clarke.”

“Or the rest of us.” Miller narrows his eyes at him. “You and Clarke would have starved to death in that library without us constantly reminding the two of you to eat.”

Everyone laughs and Bellamy shakes his head at his best friend. “I had reminders on my phone to make sure we ate!” 

“You and your damn reminders.” Raven laughs. 

* * *

Bellamy was supposed to be nose deep in one of the ancient Greek books he was using for his dissertation, but instead he was zoned out staring at the trees blowing outside the library He was remembering the time when he was younger and the power had gone out during a thunderstorm, so Aurora had told him the story of Andromeda and Perseus. Octavia was at Clarke’s and Bellamy had gotten scared by the loud thunder so Aurora had slid into his little bed, let him curl up next to her, and told him his favorite story.

“Bellamy?”

Bellamy jerked back to the present, turning to see Gina Martin sitting across from him and looking concerned.

“Oh, hey, Gina,” Bellamy gave her a sheepish smile. “Sorry, I was a bit distracted.”

Gina smiled sweetly at him, “You okay?”

Bellamy liked Gina. They’d met during the Graduate Students Orientation, realized they were in the same Classics department, and bonded over their love of the Iliad while making fun of Cage Wallace’s pretentious suede jackets with elbow patches (their theory was he thought it made him look more distinguished, when in reality it made him look like an ass).

“I’m good,” Bellamy sighed, dropped the pen he was using to take notes and stretched his arms. “What’s up?”

“Are you going to that department dinner next weekend?”

“Oh, shit. I completely forgot about it.”

Gina laughed quietly. “Then it’s good I came over here.”

“Thanks,” Bellamy grinned sheepishly before he pulled out his phone and put a reminder for the date in his calendar. He also made a mental note to ask Clarke to come with him – the last department dinner was a disaster and Clarke promised she would come help him at the next one since she’d learned how to network from her mom’s many hospital dinners (plus, it would be nice to spend a night with Clarke like they were on a date and see how it went).

“So do you want to get drinks after?”

Bellamy snapped out of his thoughts about Clarke and looked at Gina for a second thinking he missed something. “I’ll have to see what Clarke’s doing. She’s got a lot going on right now and has a weird study group that meets at an ungodly hour on Saturday mornings.”

“Is Clarke the blonde that’s always sitting with you?”

“Oh yeah. Sorry. I forget most people here don’t know her. She was Columbia undergrad until she started law school here last month.”

“I didn’t realize you were seeing anyone,” Gina said quietly, looking just over his shoulder.

“Oh, no. We’re not like that. We’re just friends, I mean, sort of?”

“You don’t know if you’re friends or not?” Gina looked confused.

Bellamy rubbed a hand down his face. “It’s kind of complicated.”

Gina raised an eyebrow. “Oh, this will be good. Spill.”

Bellamy glanced at his old ratty watch. Clarke had a Friday morning class that got out around noon and she normally stopped to get them coffees and sandwiches or pizza depending on how much her classmates annoyed her that day. It was just after 12:30, so he figured he had another twenty minutes before she showed up.

“What do you want to know?” Bellamy sighed and leaned back in his chair to look at Gina, who leaned forward on the table with her arms flat against it.

“What’s your relationship with her? Like how would you define her?”

“I don’t know. She’s Clarke. She’s just – she’s Clarke. I don’t know how to describe her. I’ve known her for – what feels like – forever. And I guess I have. She’s my little sister’s best friend and they met when they were five. We didn’t always get along, but I think most of that was because it was so easy to get her all riled up and I just really liked arguing with her. But – she’s always had my sister’s back and mine, I guess. She loves her friends with everything she has and is always collecting them. She’s smart and crazy talented when it comes to her art. She’s been there for me through a lot of stuff and she’s always the first person I want to tell things to. Hell, she’s the first person I think of when I wake up in the morning and the last person I think of before I fall asleep.”

“Wow,” Gina grinned. “You love her.”

Bellamy nodded and glanced around again before leaning across the table and mirroring Gina’s position.

“You’re bringing her to the dinner?”

“I haven’t asked her yet, but the last one was a disaster – for me – and Clarke’s really good at networking, so she promised to come and help me maneuver through small talk.”

Gina’s grin kept growing. “That’s adorable. I can’t wait to meet her.”

“Oh – um. Yeah, I guess you’ll meet her at the dinner.”

Gina tapped the table next to his hands. “See ya around, Bellamy.” And then she was gone.

Bellamy was still staring at where she had been sitting, so he jumped when Clarke fell into the seat Gina just vacated.

“Who was that?” Clarke asked distractedly – trying for normal – while she dug around in her bag.

“Gina.”

“Oh.” Clarke’s head snapped up. “That’s the famous Gina. I wanted to meet her.”

Bellamy cleared his throat. “You will. If your offer still stands.”

“What offer?” Clarke narrowed her eyes at him.

“I have another department dinner next Friday. Still want to come hang out with the entire Classics department?”

“Yes,” Clarke smiled brightly at him. “I need to see my nerd in his element.” Clarke went back to digging in her bag pulling out all her colored pens and highlighters.

Bellamy could feel the stupid goofy grin crossing his face and quickly ducked his head into his book again.

A week later found Bellamy standing outside the hall where the department dinner was being held on campus waiting for Clarke. She had texted forty minutes ago, saying she was on her way and he knew she should have been here by now.

He was just about to call her when he spotted her about a half block away. He was glad it gave him a moment, because he was able to collect himself before he had to talk to her. She was wearing a bright red dress that (thankfully) had a high neckline, long sleeves, and fell to her knees, but she still looked breathtakingly beautiful.

“Hey! Sorry, I’m late. Your sister demanded to do my make-up before I left and it left no time to do my hair. I had to throw it in a low ponytail and hope it passed for sophisticated. I’m not sure it worked.”

Bellamy laughed softly, noticing that pieces of her hair had already fallen out of the ponytail, but they fell perfectly around her face. “It works.” Bellamy shrugged, going for nonchalant, and Clarke glared at him. “I’m kidding. You look beautiful.”

“Thanks.” Clarke smiled shyly. “I’m starting to regret being happy that Octavia moved to New York if she’s going to tie me down to a chair every time I have to get dressed up just to do my make-up.”

Bellamy laughed and gestured for Clarke to head towards the building. He fell into step next to her and placed his hand on the small of her back without looking. He nearly pulled his hand back when he felt her bare skin. Clarke must have felt him jump slightly, because she threw a grin at him. Bellamy rolled his eyes while trying not to look at the back of her dress, which apparently swooped down.

“You look very handsome too, Bell.”

Bellamy could feel his skin burning and glanced down at the shiny shoes Octavia had made him purchase for the last department dinner. His suit was new, however, since he couldn’t stomach looking at the old one he’d worn to his mother’s funeral, let alone actually wearing it. So he’d bought a nice new charcoal grey suit with a black tie.

“Thanks,” Bellamy muttered as he pulled another door open for Clarke.

“Okay, so what do I need to know about this?” Clarke turned to look at him as they walked towards the reception area.

“I don’t know,” Bellamy grinned at the frustrated noise she made. Clarke hated walking into a place that she didn’t know. “It’s just all the professors and visiting professors. Mostly just grad students show up, but sometimes you get some undergrads who want to get into the grad program or are just trying to suck up to their professors. Occasionally if a guest lecturer is here when one of these goes on, they’ll come too.”

“Good to know,” Clarke said quietly as they entered the last set of doors to see all the guests. “It’s like nerd prom,” Clarke whispered.

“I thought nerd prom was the White House Correspondents’ Dinner.”

“Well, yeah. But this has to be the actual nerd prom. I’ve never seen so many tweed jackets with elbow patches.”

Bellamy laughed. “That’s Cage Wallace.”

“I see like three in that corner alone, Bellamy. I doubt they’re all Cage Wallace.”

“If he could clone himself, they would be.”

“Don’t start with cloning because that’s the one thing in the world Raven wants. So she can take turns solving problems and then sleeping.”

Bellamy laughed again and turned to see Clarke grinning at him.

“Mr. Blake.”

Bellamy turned to his other side and saw his dissertation advisor walking towards him with a woman he had never seen before. “Dr. Bartlett, how are you?” Bellamy reached out and shook the man’s hand.

“Good, Mr. Blake. And who is this beautiful young lady with you?”

“Clarke,” Clarke spoke up and stuck her hand out. “Bellamy’s girlfriend.”

Bellamy was so very happy that no one’s eyes were on him because he was sure his mouth dropped open and he choked on his own tongue.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Clarke.” Dr. Bartlett turned to Bellamy. “I wasn’t aware you were seeing anyone, Mr. Blake. Had I known I might have given you less work this semester.” Dr. Bartlett and the woman both laughed and Clarke and Bellamy joined in a beat late. “By the way, I don’t think you’ve met my wife, Abbey. She’s a medical doctor. Likes to brag she’s the only real doctor in the family.” This time both Bellamy and Clarke laughed on time – finally getting the joke.

“It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Bartlett.” Bellamy shook Abbey’s hand.

“And you, Bellamy. I’ve heard a lot about you from this one.” Abbey poked Dr. Bartlett’s arm. “Never stops about the rising young star of the Classics department.”

“It’s my hope that if I talk about him enough, one of my daughters will want to join the Classics department too and make me proud. Three daughters and they all want to be just like their mom.”

“My mother is a surgeon and growing up I wanted to be just like her too. It must be the appeal of saving lives.” Clarke smiled.

“Ah, I like this girl, Jed.” Abbey smiled. “And what is it that you do now, dear?”

“I’m a first year law student.”

Dr. Bartlett threw his head back laughing.

“Well, I guess that’s okay. Depending on what school you attend,” Abbey narrowed her eyes at Clarke.

“The best law school in the world – Columbia.”

Abbey and Dr. Bartlett both laughed.

“She’s a keeper, Mr. Blake.” Dr. Bartlett smiled at Bellamy before shaking his hand. “Enjoy yourselves tonight, kids. And I’ll see you on Monday, Mr. Blake.”

“Of course, Dr. Bartlett. It was a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Bartlett.” Bellamy shook Abbey’s hand.

“Nice meeting you,” Clarke smiled at both of them before slipping her hand around Bellamy’s arm. “I like them,” Clarke said quietly once they were out of ear shot.

“Yeah, Dr. Bartlett’s great. He can ramble on about the various National Parks a little too much, but he’s incredibly smart and is great help with research and sources.”

“Is he the one that gives you all that weird trivia about strawberries that you then text to me?”

Bellamy turned and began to lead Clarke to the bar in the back. “It was one trivia fact and I thought you’d like it.”

“ _What fruit is the only fruit to wear its seeds on the outside_ is not all that interesting, Bellamy.”

“You love strawberries.”

“Doesn’t mean I want to know every little detail about them,” Clarke grinned at him.

Bellamy shook his head and ordered a beer for himself and a glass of wine for Clarke.

“Nothing harder than that?” Clarke asked quietly.

“No, did you want something harder?”

“Wine tends to hit me really hard.”

“Only when you haven’t eaten in a while,” Bellamy paused. “Clarke?”

“Hmm,” Clarke turned from where she was watching people around the room.

“When was the last time you ate?” Bellamy whispered.

“Um, Raven gave me a power bar?”

“When?”

“I think it might have been before my first class?”

“That was eight o’clock this morning,” Bellamy whisper-shouted.

“Sorry, I was busy. I had class this morning and our study group changed its time to this afternoon because some people were going home this weekend for some big family reunion or something. I don’t know.”

Bellamy turned back to the bartender, who slid over a basket of bread with a small smile on his face. “Thanks, man.”

“No problem. My girlfriend does the same thing when she gets too focused studying.”

“See, I’m not the only one,” Clarke whisper-shouted back, making the bartender laugh before he headed off to help someone else.

“I’m going to steal your phone and set reminders for you to eat.”

“You’re the worst. Now it will be twice as annoying because I can ignore your texts, but you’ll set the reminders to go off like five times in a row.”

“You need to eat, Clarke. It’s not healthy.”

“I know. Believe me. I know. I just forget.”

“That’s what the reminders are for. I’ll set them up on your Mac. That way you won’t miss them like when I text you.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and munched on a couple pieces of bread before finishing off the glass of white wine. The bartender came back and filled it only half of what it was before.

“Give it a half hour and then you can get a full glass again.”

“Thank you,” Clarke muttered sheepishly.

“Alright, I guess we should move back out there. I can’t really hide by the bar.”

“Why? Everyone needs refills so we’ll just wait until they come to us.”

“Is that what you do when you go to one of your mom’s fundraisers?” Bellamy arched an eyebrow.

“No, my mom normally drags me around to introduce me to everyone. I don’t know anyone here so I don’t know who you would talk to. Dissertation advisor was a good first choice, but we’ve got that covered. Any friends you have here?”

“Not really,” Bellamy sighed. “Gina’s really my only friend in the department.”

“That’s sad, Bellamy.” Clarke shook her head. “You should make friends with them. They’re going to be your future colleagues and competition.”

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer?”

“Exactly,” Clarke looped her arm through his. “Now, which tweed jacket should we start with first?”

The next hour was Clarke dragging him around, telling him to gush over meeting the visiting professors and tell them you love their work. Or she was telling him to ask the other professors which advice they would give their younger selves on what to do differently. But more importantly, she was getting him to ask the other grad students what they thought about a particular class if he hadn’t taken it yet. Basically Clarke dragged him around and told him what topics to discuss with whichever person she found for him. He was going to be exhausted after this.

That’s where he found himself an hour later, talking to some of the other grad students that he originally thought were pretentious assholes, but it turned out they were just regular assholes – his kind of assholes – and he was actually starting to enjoy himself. Until Cage Wallace walked up.

Thankfully, Clarke had gone to the bathroom a few minutes earlier or Bellamy would have dragged her from the room completely once Wallace decided to make his appearance.

“So, Blake. Where did you hire the hot blonde from?”

One of the guys – Jim, maybe? – spit the sip of beer he had just taken.

“Excuse me?” Bellamy said calmly.

“Where did you hire her from? What service?”

“Excuse me?” Bellamy repeated himself, feeling his anger growing.

“Jesus, are you deaf, Blake?”

“No, I heard you the first time. I just thought if I repeated myself, you would realize what an asshole you just sounded like and change your question. My mistake.”

“So you’re really going to tell me, that blonde is your actual girlfriend?”

Clarke had already introduced herself to his advisor as his girlfriend, the bartender thought they were dating, and most of the guys standing with him had assumed they were dating too, so Bellamy went with it.

“Yes.”

“I don’t believe that for a second.”

“I’m sure you don’t since no woman would ever talk to you.”

Jim and Dwight – maybe – started to snicker into their beers and Cage turned a glare on them and disappeared into the crowd.

“Damn.” Jim, or maybe Dwight, turned to Bellamy. “I’ve been wanting to tell that asshole off for the last two years.”

“Yeah, well, there are some lines you don’t cross.” Bellamy took another swig of his beer as he watched Cage move snake-like through the crowd.

“He’s got no balls on him if he waited until Clarke disappeared to come ask that question,” Dwight – definitely – nodded his head.

“She would have probably kicked him in his non-existent balls,” Jim shook his head. “She’s awesome.”

“Does she have any sisters or friends or cousins or girls she would recommend for nerds from the Classics department?” Dwight laughed.

“No sisters. Maybe cousins, I think they all live far away. And her only two female friends are her roommate – who would eat you both alive,” Bellamy raised an eyebrow at their grins. “And my sister, who is seeing someone.”

“Damn,” Dwight muttered. “Tell her to keep an eye out for us, okay?”

“Will do.”

“So about this roommate,” Jim tilted his head with a grin.

Bellamy laughed before turning towards the door, looking out for Clarke again. This time he spotted her a couple feet away deep in conversation with Gina.

Gina was nodding to something Clarke was saying and both were smiling before Clarke turned and caught his eye. Her smile grew and she seemed to pause in whatever she was saying before she continued.

“I have to say, I was a little surprised that you were seeing someone.” Dwight drew Bellamy’s attention away from Clarke and Gina.

“Why?” Bellamy took a swig of his beer and found it almost empty.

“You and Gina were always so flirty. I thought something was going to happen there.”

“I never flirted with Gina.” Bellamy’s eyes snapped to Dwight.

“I could never tell if you were, but she definitely was.” Jim added.

“Really?” Bellamy turned back to the two women to see Gina laughing while Clarke was gesturing wildly about something.

“Definitely.” Jim nodded.

“Hey, do you think Clarke would approve of Gina?” Dwight asked.

“I don’t know. They’ve never met.”

“Yikes.” Jim shook his head. “That explains a lot.”

“Why?” Bellamy turned back to the guys.

“You just seem to play things close to the chest. I honestly thought you were an asshole before tonight.”

“I am.” Bellamy grinned.

“But the kind of asshole you want on your side.” Dwight raised his beer to clink against Bellamy’s.

“I thought you guys were two more Cage Wallaces.” Bellamy raised his bottle again.

“Dude, I thought we were friends.” Dwight shook his head.

“Hey.” Clarke appeared by Bellamy’s side. “What did I miss, boys?”

“Your boyfriend just insulted us.” Dwight shook in mock terror.

“Welcome to my world. What did he say now?” Clarke smirked at them.

“Compared us to Cage Wallace.”

“Who is this Cage Wallace? Everyone talks about him like he’s an adjective. Is he that creepy?”

“No, just that much of a douchebag.” Jim shook his head. “You missed what he said about you while you were gone.”

“Oh really?” Clarke turned a raised eyebrow on Bellamy. “Do I want to know?”

“No. Never.” Bellamy shook his head and raised his beer bottle to take another sip. “I’m going to get another. Want one?”

Clarke nodded her head and turned to ask one of the guys another question while Bellamy disappeared to the bar.

“Need any water?” The bartender asked.

“No, she’s good. Thanks though. I think the bread really helped.”

“No problem.” The bartender poured another wine for Clarke and grabbed another beer for Bellamy.

“The answer is yes.”

Bellamy turned to look as Gina walked up to stand next to him.

“What’s the question?”

“Yes, she loves you, too.”

Bellamy raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Why does it seem surprising that she loves you too?”

“No, I mean what are you talking about?”

“Okay, this may seem like a shock, but I’ve been flirting with you for the past two years and I asked you out last week in the library.”

“Yeah, um, I wasn’t completely aware of that. I’m really sorry if I did anything or – you know.”

“You didn’t lead me on or anything, Bellamy. I mean – I thought you were flirting back, but you always seemed to be holding back. I thought maybe you had just got through a bad breakup especially with you zoning out all the time and disappearing so much last year, but Clarke told me.”

“Told you what?”

“About your mom.”

Bellamy sighed and looked away.

“Don’t be mad at her.” Gina stepped closer placing a hand on his arm. “I mentioned your odd behavior and she slipped and said that things were rough for you since your mom. She thought I knew.”

Bellamy turned his head to meet Gina’s eyes and saw a small smirk on her face.

“What?”

“You’re one of the last good guys out there, aren’t you, Bellamy Blake?”

The confusion must have been obvious on Bellamy’s face.

“I told you that the girl you’re in love with is in love with you too and your first concern was whether you hurt my feelings.”

Bellamy smiled sheepishly before turning towards Clarke’s laugh across the room where Jim was regaling her with a story.

“Her whole face lights up when she talks about you. And she has this little special smile whenever anyone mentions you. It only took me five minutes to realize how much she loves you.”

Bellamy turned back around to the bar before speaking quietly. “Good things don’t happen to me.”

Gina shook her head. “You’re an idiot. This didn’t happen to you. This is because of you. She loves you not because you did something and you’re being rewarded. She loves you because of who you are.”

Bellamy’s head snapped up to meet Gina’s serious gaze. One of the things he liked about Gina was her rare honesty and Bellamy could see the truth of her words right on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who found them: yes, that was Dwight and Jim from the office and I know they were not exactly in character, but I needed two OCs and Jim popped into my head and I had another random name, but decided to change it to Dwight. Also, that was President Bartlet and First Lady Abbey Bartlet from The West Wing and I know President Bartlet actually had his Ph.D. in economics, not classics. 
> 
> As always, comments && kudos are appreciated!! Also, come talk to me on [tumblr](thediaryofanerdygirlygirl.tumblr.com)!!!


	22. we'll make a fallen star wish, one more slow kiss, what are we waiting on?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Bellamy at Columbia...
> 
> (I don't know how to summarize this chapter so that's all you get.) 
> 
> Title from Hearbeat by Carrie Underwood (FYI Sam Hunt sings harmony :D) and I don't really know why I chose this lyric to be a title.. It was on my list of songs under this chapter so I'm using it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a lying liar who lies. And I have no excuse except for a very small four letter word that really encompasses a lot and that's life. Good news is the next chapter is done and edited by my wonderful beta notnicorette so it should be up next weekend (hopefully). But since I was a lying liar who lies, I will finally publish that Minty drabble I keep hinting at as soon as this one is published.
> 
> I hope my lying hasn't turned you off and you enjoy this chapter!

“I hate this,” Harper grumbled as she dropped her heavy bag of books on the bench next to Clarke.

Clarke smiled up at her friend and handed her the extra coffee she grabbed for their first afternoon class of the day. Clarke has met Harper and Maya during the first week of classes, when they’d all sat near each other and gotten to talking.

Maya Vie was sweet and a little shy at first before you got to know her and then she had you laughing so hard with her dry wit. Harper McIntyre was all sass, which she used as a shield against her difficult past. Both girls had wormed their way into Clarke’s heart and she couldn’t imagine surviving her first semester of law school without them. Clarke was beyond thrilled when the three of them had sat down and worked out their schedules for the second semester so they had all the same classes again.

“I know.” Clarke grinned before taking a sip of her coffee. “But it’s Thursday and this is our last class of the week.”

“Oh, that’s right. I forgot Legal Writing got cancelled. You just made my day so much better.”

“Hmm?” Maya asked, as she dropped delicately onto the bench on the other side of Clarke.

“Legal Writing is cancelled.”

“Oh, thank God. I don’t think I could handle another one of those three hour classes.” Maya grinned.

The door opened and the previous class began to file out, so Clarke, Harper, and Maya waited until it was clear, and grabbed the rest of their books and lined up behind their classmates to get to their seats.

“I’m really annoyed about this class,” Harper grumbled again.

“We know.” Maya rolled her eyes.

“It’s just so unfair. Constitutional law is _so_ interesting and to him it’s a history lesson.”

“At least you only get three history lessons a week.” Clarke laughed. “I get them daily and sometimes multiple times a day.”

“Well, that’s your own fault for hanging out with a history nerd all the time.” Maya smiled sweetly.

“Yeah, when do we get to meet the boyfriend?” Harper poked Clarke before dropping into her seat.

“First off, he’s not my boyfriend.” Clarke rolled her eyes and opened her book to today’s reading. “And second, probably never because I can’t trust you not to say something completely inappropriate.”

“What?” Harper drew in a large gasp and placed her hand over heart. “Me? Act inappropriate? Maya, have you ever heard such a lie before?”

“Never,” Maya deadpanned.

After a beat, all three started to laugh.

“Okay, class. Let’s get started.” Professor Oldman called the room to attention. He was wearing another tweed jacket. He pulled his newsboy hat off his white hair and dropped it on a desk in the front row, along with a few books and notes, before adjusting his glasses and standing behind the podium at the front of the lecture hall. “Today we’re going to discuss a few cases that you’ve already read, but to really understand what the Supreme Court was saying, I wanted to make sure you all understand how they came to this decision. I’ve asked a grad student from the history department to come and give you some background information on this particular time period.” Professor Oldman glanced around the room. “He should be here soon. Maybe he got lost. It is a far walk from the history building to here.” Professor Oldman chuckled and the rest of the class joined.

“Think it will be your nerd?” Harper whispered across the empty seat between her and Clarke.

“Nope, he’s a classic nerd.” Clarke grinned.

Harper raised an eyebrow, confused.

“He’s in the classics department. Not history.”

Harper nodded before her jaw dropped. “Well, at least we have some eye candy for today’s history lesson.”

Clarke turned to see what she was talking about and saw Bellamy Blake walking down the aisle which was on the opposite side of the room from Clarke’s seat heading towards the professor.

“Sorry, Professor Oldman. I wasn’t sure when you wanted me to come in.”

“No worries, Mr. Blake. I’m glad the history department could spare you.”

“Actually, professor, it’s the classics department. But I’ve got some background in the area you’re looking for.”

“Right. The history department had no one who could do it. Dr. Bartlett recommended you. Slipped my mind.” Professor Oldman chuckled again and Bellamy gave him a forced smile.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.” Clarke slipped lower into her seat.

“Oh my God.” Harper grinned. “That’s him.”

“Really?” Maya’s eyes widened while she turned to Harper, as if she could confirm it better than Clarke.

“It’s got to be. Look at her.” Harper gestured to Clarke sinking lower in her seat. “Damn Clarke.”

“Shut up. He can’t see me.”

“Too late,” Maya whispered.

Clarke turned from her books to see Bellamy standing at the podium now, pulling out notes. His eyes kept flicking over to Clarke and he had a stupid smirk on his face again. Clarke was going to kill him if he decided to make this a class participation lecture.

“Okay,” Bellamy clapped his hands before placing them on the podium and giving the rest of the class a wide smile. “My name is Bellamy Blake. I’m going to make this as painless as possible for you. I know how much law students hate history.” At that he turned and grinned at Clarke again.

“I am going to murder him,” Clarke grumbled.

“Not a great start to a legal career, Clarke,” Maya said with a laugh in her voice.

Thankfully, Bellamy’s lecture was not one that required class participation, but he did take questions at the end; mostly from girls who asked questions that he had already answered or just asked him to expand on something he already said.

Occasionally a few of the guys would get annoyed and ask a question trying to trip Bellamy up. Clarke just laughed to herself because the guy was the biggest nerd she knew and her roommate was a rocket scientist – you couldn’t trip him up.

When he responded that he didn’t have any knowledge of something, but had seen a documentary once, Adam, the class gunner, scoffed and said he doubted it was a real documentary. Clarke could see Bellamy was getting annoyed with the asshole. He annoyed most of the class on a daily basis, so it was easy to see him doing the same to Bellamy. Professor Oldman was off in his own world, so Clarke decided to intervene and raised her hand.

“Yes, Pr –“ Bellamy cleared his throat and Clarke smiled widely at him. “Yes?”

“I think I know what documentary you’re talking about. It was on the History Channel last week, right? I saw it.”

“Yes, it was.” Bellamy smirked at her, probably because he made her watch that three-hour long documentary on a Friday night. Clarke had retaliated by making him watch all the Sharknado movies the following day.

Clarke turned in her seat to face Adam. “I think a documentary on the History Channel has some credibility. So he probably knows what he’s talking about.”

The class laughed because Adam was a typical gunner who thought he knew everything and always asked these long convoluted questions that ultimately confused everyone – including Professor Oldman.

“Does anyone else have any other questions?” Bellamy asked once the class quieted down.

“Can we get your number?” One girl paused before rushing on. “Or email address? In case we have any other questions.” A few other girls giggled with her.

“You’ve got some competition, Clarke,” Harper whispered in Clarke’s ear.

“Um, I think you can just email them to Professor Oldman and he can get in touch with me.” Bellamy nodded, purposefully avoiding looking anywhere near Clarke’s direction as a slight flush covered his neck. Clarke was probably the only one who would have noticed it on his darker skin. Clarke raised an eyebrow at that.

“Okay, thanks.” The girl’s voice sounded a little disappointed and Clarke didn’t blame her, she probably would have been disappointed if she wasn’t sure she’d have a text from Bellamy as soon as he walked out of here.

“Alright, class. Say thank you to Mr. Blake for taking the time to come down here. Please say hello to Dr. Bartlett for me, as well.”

“I will, Professor Oldman.” Bellamy shook the professor’s hand and grabbed his messenger bag before walking up the aisle closest to Clarke, grinning at her before disappearing out the door.

Bellamy’s lecture had only taken about twenty minutes, but the class, eager for someone other than Professor Oldman, had delayed him with an additional twenty minutes of questions. Professor Oldman, however, was not to be deterred and squeezed seventy-five minutes of class time into the remaining twenty-five minutes.

When they were finally released, Clarke wasn’t surprised to see Bellamy sprawled out on one of the benches with his long legs taking up half the hallway.

“The Classics department is so desperate for more students that they send you down here to lecture to a bunch of law students.” Clarke kicked one of his feet.

“I thought a bunch of law students would be interested in a twenty-minute lecture where they could zone out and relax before studying the intricacies of the Supreme Court’s inane decisions.”

“Nah, I think they just wanted some eye candy for a change. I guess we’ll just have to keep waiting.”

Clarke could hear Harper snort behind her.

Bellamy grinned at her before turning to Harper and Maya, who were standing behind her.

“Hi, we haven’t met. I’m Bellamy Blake. And I’m sorry you’re friends with the princess.”

“Princess?” Maya turned a raised eyebrow on Clarke.

“Don’t, please. It will start a whole thing and we’ll be here for another hour.”

“Or they could just join us and then hear the whole story while we move?” Bellamy shrugged.

“Join us? Where are we going?” Clarke crossed her arms over her chest.

“You’re one of the few people who still turns her phone off during class, aren’t you?”

“Says the old man who wouldn’t even bring his phone into the classroom his whole first year of college.”

“Anyway.” Bellamy stood up and put the book he was reading away. “Miller has off tomorrow and Monty made a new batch. I don’t know what Octavia does for a living, but she wanted to throw a party at my place. I told her over my dead body, so it got moved to your apartment because Raven offered.”

Clarke groaned. “Why can’t it be anyone else’s apartment? Or a bar? We’re adults. We shouldn’t still be having parties like we’re still underage on a Thursday at four in the afternoon.”

“We only go to one bar and Wick’s working tonight and Raven said something about not wanting to see his smug face. I don’t understand what that means in Raven lingo.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “She probably had to take apart one of his designs again, only to find out that he was right. It’s rare, but Wick is intolerable when it happens – just like Raven. You’re not working tonight?”

“Nope. Murphy needed the hours.” Bellamy shrugged.

“Good. I’m not dealing with the mess alone.”

Bellamy smiled at her. “You never have to, Princess.”

Clarke turned to Harper and Maya. “Want to come meet the rest of my friends? They might try to blow my apartment up again tonight, so it will be different.”

“I’m so in.” Harper grinned.

“Me too.” Maya nodded. “I actually had a question about that documentary you mentioned, if you don’t mind?”

“For a friend of Clarke’s, anything.” Bellamy smirked before gesturing for Maya to lead the way.

“You are so in trouble with that one,” Harper whispered in Clarke’s ear. “You two are so adorable together.”

Clarke elbowed her and shot her a glare. “I’m going to introduce you to Jasper. The two of you can exchange texts about your Bellarke feels all you want.”

“Bellarke?”

“I don’t know. It’s something he and Monty made up. It’s a combination of our names. Jasper says he ‘ships’ us.”

“That’s hilarious. I’m on that ship.”

Clarke rolled her eyes and continued following Bellamy and Maya as they led the way to Clarke’s apartment. As they walked, Clarke watched Bellamy and Maya talking. In the nine months since Aurora’s death, Bellamy had his low moments where his grief took over, but over the last few weeks she noticed those moments were getting farther and farther apart and not lasting as long. Clarke was able to pull him out of them easier and keep him smiling for longer. She was concerned he may have been putting on a front for her, but Miller confirmed he was doing better when it was just the two of them. And now, seeing Bellamy interact with other people – especially two of her newest friends – made her realize that maybe they were getting to the other side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always comments and kudos are appreciated and you can come talk to me on [tumblr](thediaryofanerdygirlygirl.tumblr.com)


	23. Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to trick you if you got excited for a new chapter....

Hey, everyone!

Yes I am still alive. I wanted to let you all know that I was indeed alive and I wanted to thank you all for the comments and kudos I still get on this even though I haven't updated this in almost a year. It still amazes me when I find an email with kudos or a comment. I've read them all, I just haven't had time to sit down and respond to them all.

I also wanted to apologize for dropping off the face of the earth for almost a year. Just to remind you - I started a new job last September and life got busy. When I had down time, I was always too tired to write (after spending the majority of my day writing legal decisions fanfiction just seemed to exhausting). The few times I had the motivation to write, I lacked the inspiration. Until recently. I finished up my one year clerkship and start my new job this Tuesday (ahhh!!!). While I don't think this means I'll have more time to write, I've been bit by the inspiration bug. Unfortunately, my inspiration came from another fandom and not Bellarke. So that brings me to now.

I have the next chapter written (chapter 23) and it's been written for a year. However, its a two-for-one kind of deal with the chapter that follows it (24). I can't really say much else without giving it away, but I wanted to reach out to the people who are still following this and see what they wanted. Most of chapter 24 is done, but I've never really been happy with it so I've never wanted to finish it or rewrite it or even post whatever I could spit onto the page and that's been the primary delay.

With that being said, I wanted to see if anyone wanted me to post 23 and either hope and pray that I get some inspiration to finish 24 (and the rest of the story) or I'll hold on to it until I get that same inspiration.

Basically, I'm hoping there are some people out there who still read this and want the end and are willing to read a chapter and motivate me to finish it. But no promises because I don't know what the next few weeks are going to bring for me. 

I'm going to leave this up until 9 pm Eastern Standard Time (US) and leave a comment saying you want the next chapter or you don't and we'll do it old school with majority wins. If more people want the chapter, I'll post it. If more people are willing to put a lot of faith in me and want to wait, then we'll wait.

As always - thanks for reading!

PS - I realized as writing this that I once saw someone complaining that an author required their readers to give a certain amount of comments and/or kudos before they released the next chapter and some may think that's what I'm doing here. Let me clarify. I'm not doing that. I've lacked some inspiration for a while and I've always felt bad just leaving this out here unfinished especially when I have one chapter everyone has been waiting for done and it's the follow up chapter that is causing the delay. Normally I would just post this chapter, but I feel posting it not knowing when I will post the next would be even worse. So I'm leaving it in the reader's hands to decide what they want to do. I truly apologize if this annoys some people and they want to rant and rave about it, then by all means do that. But if there is just one person out there who wants to read the next chapter, then I'm willing to take on the people who think this is me being selfish and asking for comments just to look better. In all honest, I may just delete this author's note if I post the new chapter so it's not like they should last.

Thank again.


	24. Cause I, I feel like I'm ready for love / And I wanna be your everything and more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title for the chapter from Yours by Ella Henderson (also note the title of this fic). If I give you any more of a summary, you'll figure it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuses. I'm sorry.
> 
> To make up for me being the absolute worst. You might get Part 2 today as well.
> 
> One thing I want to explain. I started writing this when Wick was still a good guy. I've grown to love all the other Raven pairings that have come through the years so when I wrote the beginning of this I had plans to write a future fic (for when this one ended) with Raven and Wick breaking up and Raven moving on with someone. I can't remember now and I don't feel like looking for my notes. So that's the thing with Jasper.

“And that’s how I met the love of my life!” Jasper grins.

Everyone chuckles remembering how Jasper was falling all over himself when discovering Harper and Maya were on Team Bellarke, but had taken an instant liking to the quiet, dark haired girl who had found him funny – a big change from most other girls who met Jasper.

“How is Maya?” Bellamy asks.

“Ugh,” Jasper sighs dramatically with his whole body. “She’s hard at work helping children and their parents keep their apartments.”

“Huh?” Octavia raises an eyebrow at him. “She’s not with Legal Aid anymore?”

“She is. They moved her to a different department and she’s handling mostly landlord-tenant problems. Lots of landlords do shady stuff to get tenants evicted and Maya stops them because she’s literally Superman.”

“You mean Superwoman?” Wick asks.

“No, I mean Superman. Because she’s awesome and can do Superman’s job better than him.” Jasper watches Wick closely. “Want to fight me on it, Wick? Because I will. I’ve been going to Lincoln and Octavia’s gym.”

“No, you’re good, little buddy,” Wick laughs.

“Wick,” Raven admonishes. 

“Oh, right, sorry. Didn’t mean it like that,” Wick quickly apologizes, but Jasper has already turned to ask Lincoln about a new class at the gym that he’s thinking of taking.

“It’s a good class. Nyko is a great teacher. I think you’ll like him.”

“I was thinking of taking that class to, Jas. I’ll check it out with you next week.” Octavia smiles at him.

“Okay, cool.” Jasper nods. 

\--

Bellamy stared down at his phone reading the texts from today.

Clarke Griffin [princess crown emoji]

Today, 10:04am

Me: Good luck, princess. I know you’re going to out-argue all the other baby lawyers.

Clarke Griffin: Thanks, Bell. [blushing emoji] 

Today, 12:19pm

Clarke Griffin: So nailed that! [smiling with teeth emoji] Can we go out and celebrate before I have to hibernate for finals???

Me: Sounds good. Ask the others.   
Oh, by the way, I sent in the third draft of my dissertation last night.  
Or maybe this morning. It was around 3am.

Clarke Griffin: Oh my god! I didn’t even know you were almost done with it! That’s great, Bell! Now we really need to celebrate! Let me text them!  
Keeping secrets from me… [winking emoji]

Me: What secrets?  
??  
???????  
?????????????????

Clarke Griffin: Whoa, calm down, Bellamy. You didn’t tell me you were almost done with your draft.

Me: Oh. That.   
You were worried about your arguments. Didn’t want to bug you.

Clarke Griffin: Bellamy Blake! You are not bugging me when you tell me things that are in fact a. Big. Deal.   
Stop being stupid. [angry face emoji]  
We’re the only two left in school. We need to celebrate these things together.

Me: What about Raven? And Jasper and Monty?

Clarke Griffin: Oh right. I forgot about them. 

Me: Haha. You live with Raven. 

Clarke Griffin: And I see you more than her. So that’s saying something.

Me: Just admit it. I’m your favorite Columbia grad student.

Clarke Griffin: Okay fine. You win. You’re my favorite Columbia grad student.  
Oh wait. I thought that was to Raven. [laughing while crying emoji]

Me: Low blow, princess.

Clarke Griffin: [kissing emoji]

Today, 3:21pm

Clarke Griffin: I can’t believe not a single one of them can make it tonight!

Me: It is a Friday night. That is odd.

Clarke Griffin: They should be happy for us! We just did some important shit and need to be validated now.

Nate Miller [yellow cop emoji]

Today, 3:34pm

Nate Miller: This is getting ridiculous. No one is coming tonight because they want you to make a move on Clarke.   
It’s sad, man.  
You’ve been pining for so long.  
Don’t ignore me, Bellamy Blake.  
I know where you sleep at night

Today, 4:24pm

Me: Sorry. Phone died.

Nate Miller: No it didn’t. I can hear you texting Clarke.  
I’m in the living room, asshole.

Me: Then why are you texting me?

Nate Miller: Well when I texted you an hour ago I wasn’t in the living room  
Just tell her you love her already

Me: What day did you put in?

Nate Miller: I have no idea what you’re talking about

Me: The bet Monty is running. What day did you pick?

Nate Miller: I hardly see how that’s important

Me: Mhmm. So if I do it before midnight, you’ll be cool with that

Nate Miller: I don’t care when you do it! I just want you to do it already! I’m your best friend, man! I want to see you happy.

Me: Cool. So I’ll do it at 1:12 tomorrow morning. Sound like a plan?

Nate Miller: NOOO!   
Before midnight would be better.   
Less alcohol in her system.  
This way she’ll actually get what you’re trying to say.

Me: Nice save. I heard you drop your phone rushing to text that.  
Let it go, Miller.  
And tell your boyfriend to stop betting about my life.

Raven Reyes [wrench emoji]

Today, 5:30pm

Raven Reyes: Suck it up, buttercup.  
Just. Do. It. Already.

Me: What day did you bet?

Raven Reyes: Like last year.   
But that was before…..  
Anyway.  
I have no horse in this race as you can see and I am telling you to do something.  
Clarke is getting annoyed with you.

Me: Why? What did I do?

Raven Reyes: She’s sexually frustrated and needs your help

Me: I’m not going to dignify that with a response

Raven Reyes: Good.   
That was the point.   
Get your shit together, Blake!!!!

Bellamy sighed and turned his phone over on the bar before signaling the bartender for another drink. Clarke would be here soon and he needed to forget what Raven and Miller were telling him. He was honestly surprised that Octavia hadn’t started on him too.

Before everything with his mom, Bellamy honestly thought he had a chance with Clarke. Even during it. Clarke came to doctor’s appointments and chemo treatments. She held his hand at the funeral and helped plan so much. Then after, it was like nothing happened. She was the same old Clarke. Always there, but always just slightly out of reach.

Bellamy couldn’t understand it so he took it for what it was. She wasn’t interested. It had been months since his mother died. And for a few months after, he couldn’t think about that. It was always – after this when it came to Clarke. But slowly the hole in his heart seemed to shrink or move to the back. He started to feel more like himself. And Clarke was always the same.

Bellamy sighed as he downed the whiskey in front of him. If Clarke saw him drinking Jack Daniels, she would flip out and probably drag him out of the bar. Some of his least finest moments occurred after he had been drinking JD. Clarke had made him swear to stop drinking it after the second bar fight she witnessed when she moved to the city and he had stopped. Bellamy Blake hadn’t had a drop of Jack Daniels in all that time. Just because Clarke had asked him not to. Said he could have anything he wanted – even other whiskeys – just not Jack. And Bellamy didn’t. He should have realized a long time ago how he felt about her.

Bellamy had just knocked back the last of the whiskey when Clarke appeared at his shoulder.

“Did you start without me?” Clarke put on a fake pout.

“Sorry, princess.” Bellamy grinned. “You took too long.”

“I got stuck by Raven. She wouldn’t let me leave the apartment.”

“I thought she was busy and that’s why she couldn’t come out.”

“She is.” Clarke grinned as she squeezed in between Bellamy and the guy sitting on the stool next to him before leaning across the bar to get the bartender’s attention.

Bellamy shook his head and was about to tell her to find a seat and he’d get her a drink when he noticed the guy on her other side was blatantly staring at her ass and his hand was slowly moving towards it. Before Bellamy could think he reached out and grabbed the guy’s hand and squeezed the knuckles hard. The guy looked up at him angry until he saw the murderous glare on Bellamy’s face and quickly pulled his hand back.

Clarke spun back around to face Bellamy.

“What are you drinking?”

“Beer.”

Clarke looked at the empty glass that was clearly too small for a beer and raised an eyebrow before turning back to the bartender and ordering two beers. 

Bellamy stood up from his seat moving behind her before placing a hand on her waist. Once Clarke leaned back onto her feet, she leaned into his chest and Bellamy grabbed the two beers placed in front of her. 

“Let’s find a table.”

“But I want to sit at the bar.” Clarke leaned further into him so she could tilt her head up and meet his eyes.

Bellamy sighed looking around to find two empty stools on the other side in the corner. “Over there,” Bellamy whispered into Clarke’s ear and felt her shiver against his chest before she nodded.

Clarke took a step away from him before wrapping her hand around his free one and dragging him to the two empty seats. Clarke slide onto her seat while Bellamy placed the beers in front of them before sitting on the other seat.

“So how was it?” Bellamy asked.

Clarke looked confused before leaning forward. “What?”

Bellamy grinned and leaned in closer so she could hear him. “How was your oral arguments?”

Clarke beamed. “It was great! I was worried about this one professor who started questioning me on employment discrimination – which no one has learned at this level – but I think I nailed it. At least enough that he moved on to other issues.”

“So it was just you arguing against professors? Sounds like a normal class for you.” Bellamy grinned as he took a sip of his beer.

“Shut up.” Clarke laughed pushing his shoulder. “You know that’s a normal class for you too.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes as Clarke took a swig of her own beer.

“But you!” Clarke quickly jumped slamming her beer down. “You’re almost done with your dissertation!”

Bellamy ducked his head hiding his smile.

“Come on, Bell!” Clarke placed her hands on his forearm. “This is great news!” Clarke laughed. “You’re going to be a big professional nerd soon. I can’t wait.”

Bellamy laughed. “Are you always going to call me a nerd?”

“Yes.” Clarke gave him a smug look. “You’re the biggest nerd. You should embrace it.”

“Are you going to embrace it?” Bellamy raised an eyebrow at her.

Clarke scoffed. “Since when am I a nerd?”

“Since always.” Bellamy laughed. “I may have been a history nerd, but you were an everything else nerd. Math, science, politics, English –“

“Wait, wait, wait!” Clarke waved her hands in front of her. “You were the English nerd. I was maybe a secondary English nerd. You were the one who could quote Shakespeare.”

“No.” Bellamy shook his head grinning. “That was Miller.”

“Huh?” Clarke tilted her head. “You’re right.”

Bellamy smiled at her. Clarke had her thinking face on. The one where her forehead scrunched up with the furrow in her brow. Whenever she got that look, her head would tilt and her lips would scrunch up. Bellamy found it adorable – and incredibly sexy. He couldn’t figure out why, but almost everything she did was sexy to him. He was royally screwed. 

They spent the next few hours retelling stories about their friends various exploits. Like when Bellamy walked in on Miller trying to seduce Monty by reciting some of Shakespeare’s greatest love poems from memory. Or the time Jasper got so flustered about going on a date with Maya that he literally fainted. He tried to cancel, but Maya figured it out so she decided to surprise him by making dinner at his apartment and they had a low key date at home. 

Clarke turned back to him with a soft smile. “So Dr. Professor Nerd, what’s going on?”

“Hm?” Bellamy took another sip of his beer.

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever. How’s it going?”

“Oh, um.” Bellamy rubbed the back of his neck. “Good. I guess. Why?”

“Nothing.” Clarke shrugged looking around the bar before turning back to smile sadly at him. “I’ve just missed you.”

“Clarke. I saw you two days ago.” Bellamy ducked his head trying to catch her eyes.

“I know, but life has been crazy. I feel like we only ever see each other when we’re in the library studying.” Clarke looked around the bar again. “We never do this anymore.”

Bellamy smiled at her.

“What?” Clarke laughed. 

“Nothing.” Bellamy shook his head. “You want to spend more time with me?”

“Of course.” Clarke looked confused. “Why wouldn’t I?” Clarke tilted her head again confused.

Bellamy shook his head, but Clarke leaned into him again. “Seriously, Bellamy.” Clarke laid a hand on his forearm again and leaned closer. They’d always been physically affectionate towards each other before, but tonight Clarke was touching him and leaning closer a lot more than normal. “You really don’t know how great you are.” Clarke tilted her head and smiled at him. “You’re my favorite person ever, you know that, right?”

Bellamy laughed quietly. “How many have you had, Clarke? Did you start your celebration early?”

Clarke huffed and pulled back. “How long will it take for you to realize?”

Bellamy swallowed past the lump in his throat. “Realize what?”

“That you’re an amazing person, Bellamy Blake. I just told you that you’re my favorite person and you think I’m drunk.” Clarke shook her head before watching him closely before sliding closer to him on her stool and placing her hand on his knee. “You’re incredibly kind. Amazingly so. You’re the sweetest person I know. And so god damn smart.” Clarke laughed softly while her hand moved slowly up his thigh. “Hot too.” Clarke said quietly. “But most importantly, you’re incredibly special and a unique person who deserves the world.” 

Bellamy closed his eyes taking a deep breath. “Clarke.” It came out broken and unsure. He cleared his throat. “Clarke, please.”

“What?” Clarke tilted her head again.

Bellamy reached down and wrapped his hand around her hand and slowly lifted it to place it on the bar. “Did you drink with Raven before coming here?” Bellamy attempted a chuckle, but it came out strangled.

“No.” Clarke sighed. “Why do you keep asking that?”

“Because this isn’t you. What are you doing?” Bellamy watched her closely. “Did something happen?” 

“Why?” Clarke stared at him for a long time before realization passed over her face. “Oh. Okay.” Clarke stood up.

“Clarke –“ Bellamy reached for her, but she pulled out of his reach.

“No. It’s okay. I get it.” Clarke nodded and grabbed her bag. “Good night, Bellamy.”

“Clarke, please, it’s not like that.” 

“Really? What is it like then, Bellamy?” Clarke exploded. “God, I’m so stupid. Of course you don’t see me like that.” Clarke muttered under her breath before storming out of the bar.

Bellamy sighed deeply while rubbing both hands down his face. He took a deep breath before standing up.

It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know. Bellamy kept repeating to himself as he made his way outside.

Clarke was standing in the pouring rain trying to get a cab, but in New York City on a Friday night when it was raining – was near impossible. So Bellamy walked out into the street further and raised a hand getting a cab to stop. He opened the back door and practically dragged a fuming Clarke into the cab before sliding in after her.

“What are you doing?” Clarke yelled and pushed him hard, but he ignored her and gave her address to the cab driver.

“Just go away, Bellamy. I don’t need you to take care of me. I’m a big girl,” Clarke crossed her arms and an angry pout settled on her face – contradicting her words ridiculously. 

“Don’t I know that,” Bellamy muttered thinking how much that was true back in the bar when her hand was creeping up his thigh so discreetly he almost didn’t catch it in time. He didn’t understand the game she wanted to play. It was so unlike her and he was honestly worried she had been slipped something in her drink, but now her anger was more like her and he knew she was not that drunk at the bar.

They rode the rest of the way home in the silence. The cab had the air on full blast and Bellamy noticed Clarke shiver in her light t-shirt and jeans, which were plastered to her body. He was just really glad she wasn’t wearing white as he threw an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into his warmth. 

Clarke pushed him off so fast that he turned to look at her and found her resolutely looking out the window. Before he could say anything – apologize for something he didn’t even know what – the cab came to a stop and she jumped out of the back and made her way towards her building. Bellamy pulled some money out of his wallet and tossed it at the cab driver before chasing after her.

“Clarke, wait!” Bellamy ran through the rain and pushed open the door to her building. He was about to run up the stairs after her, but she was standing on the second floor landing when she turned to him.

“No, Bellamy. I am done waiting for you. I am so done with you in general.”

“Clarke, come on. What’s this really about?”

“You don’t get it do you?”

“Get what?”

“Exactly.”

“Clarke, you’re not making any sense,” Bellamy approached the bottom of the stairs as if she was a crazed animal – not liking the look in her eyes when she turned them on him. He’d see those blue eyes do many things – he’s seen them crying and laughing, he’d seen them hurt and happy, but he’d never seen them so angry that the blue in them more closely resembled blue fire.

“Fuck. You,” Clarke just stared him down and Bellamy’s breath caught in his throat. They had fought a lot of the years, even after they became friends, but this – this was different and it scared him.

“Princess – “ 

“Don’t call me that!” Clarke yelled so loud that music from an apartment on the third floor suddenly cut off.

“Clarke, I’m sorry,” Bellamy let out a breath. “If this is about what happened at the bar, I’m sorry. I just – I don’t think of you like that okay? You’re my friend. I wouldn’t use you like that. I wouldn’t hit on you. I thought you knew that. I’m not that guy – at least I don’t want to be that guy – especially with you.”

Clarke’s eyes were still burning that blue fire so he continued.

“That’s what this is about? God, Clarke. You know you’re beautiful, right?”

Clarke’s breath caught and her eyes softened, but she held her ground and her anger.

“Anybody would be lucky to have you. You deserve more than someone just using you for a night. You deserve to be loved and cherished – and for more than a night. Please, don’t to this to yourself.”

“God, you still don’t get it, do you?” Clarke threw her hands up in the air – the anger still there.

“Obviously, I don’t,” Bellamy felt his anger forming and was trying to hold it back – she deserved him as a friend right now, not the guy who was secretly in love with her and so jealous of the person that would get to be with her one day.

“You’re a real idiot, Bellamy Blake,” Clarke turned to continue up the stairs towards her apartment.

“God damn it, Clarke. Stop doing this – whatever the fuck this is because this is not you, okay?”

“This isn’t me?” She whirled around and her damp hair spun out around her. “You obviously don’t fucking know a thing about me, asshole!” 

“You think I don’t know you, princess. Because I fucking know you better than I know myself most days. I know you twirl your hair when you’re distracted. I know you bite your lip when you’re nervous. I know you ramble when you’re in an uncomfortable situation. I know you’re scared about law school even if you won’t admit. I know you worry about your mom and making sure Marcus takes care of her. I know you worry about Raven and that you’re the reason she’s still so hurt by what happened with that asshole. I know you’re still hurt by what he did to you and it makes me want to hit him until he literally forgets about you completely. I know you love Octavia like a sister because you always wanted one – and she’s the best sister out there so I get that. I know you’re happy when everyone around you is happy,” Bellamy took a deep breath and looked up at her.

Clarke was standing there with her mouth open and her eyes wide. There were tears swimming there and he wasn’t sure if they were good tears or sad tears. It was the first time in years that he didn’t know her reaction and so he decided he was there – might as well go all the way in.

“I know this,” Bellamy began softly. “Because I have been in love with you for so long that I don’t even know what it’s like to not love you. That’s why I have never hit on you or made a move because I don’t just want one night with you – I want all the nights – forever.”

Bellamy took a deep breath prepared to continue – to tell her that it was all a joke or that he would get over it someday. He didn’t know what, but Clarke didn’t give him the chance.

Clarke turned away and marched up the rest of the stairs without looking back. Bellamy heard her apartment door close quietly and he was left standing there on the stairs of her apartment building.

Bellamy ran both hands through his wet hair and down his face before spinning around and throwing a punch at the nearest wall and letting out a frustrated scream.

“Damn it,” he muttered and took a deep breath. Bellamy turned and headed back out into the rain and flagged down a cab to take him home. He glanced at his watch and realized it was 3:05 in the morning and his mom was always right – nothing good ever came after three in the morning and it was best to be home before then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. Hopefully I'll have Part 2 done soon. I'm stuck on the ending because I'm too much of a perfectionist.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and I love all the comments and kudos even if I haven't responded in years (literally probably).


	25. And I know every day you say it / But I just want you to be sure / That I'm yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2.
> 
> Title is the next lyric in Yours by Ella Henderson. 
> 
> [Do you see what I did there? ;) ]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Two chapters in probably less than 2 hours. Both were mostly written. Just a matter of reading them again and adding some to it.

Clarke barely got any sleep the night before – she spent most of it tossing and turning and replaying her argument with Bellamy in her head. 

She was so angry with him and so frustrated with everything, but most of all she was just done fighting with him. After he said everything – all those wonderfully sweet things – Clarke got angry and couldn’t figure out why so she just turned around and left. It took another hour for her to realize that she was angry because he only told her all those things because they were fighting – not because he wanted to, but because he just wanted to end the fight. Even if they were true, it wasn’t romantic and Clarke didn’t need romance – she just needed Bellamy, but it still hurt that he only finally, finally told Clarke how he felt when they were having a screaming match at three in the morning in her apartment building.

Clarke thought if she had flirted with him or done something to show she was interested as more than a friend, it might help with things, but she also may have been a little bit tipsy and her judgment clouded. The ball had always been in his court. She realized how she felt around the same time his mom got sick so she made a promise with herself that she would never take advantage of him or his vulnerability during that time – even though all she wanted was to wrap him in her arms and protect him from that pain. 

So she waited. And waited. And waited. And finally was tired of waiting, but it all blew back in her face. God, she was an idiot. She shouldn’t have pushed him. Bellamy always needed a push when it came to anything for himself, but he tended to come back swinging and that’s what happened. She pushed and he panicked. 

Clarke rolled over and looked at the clock on her bedside table – it was ten minutes fast and read 6 A.M. so she knew it was really ten to six. She rolled back into her bed and wrapped the blankets around herself more firmly. She could feel the tears building in her eyes and she pressed her lips together to keep them at bay. Whenever she was sad or lonely, it was Bellamy she called and now she couldn’t even do that. 

That’s it, she thought and threw the covers back before storming to the bathroom. She was getting her best friend back even if it would kill her to do it. 

Within ten minutes, she had brushed her teeth and washed her face from last night’s makeup and tears. She pulled on a semi-clean pair of jeans and was looking for a clean shirt when she realized how long it had been since she had done laundry. She pulled out an old plaid shirt from high school that probably belonged to Wells or her dad. 

Clarke threw her hair into a messy bun and shoved her feet into her Converses before storming out of the apartment. She barely remembered the train ride to Bellamy’s apartment because she was replaying everything from the night before. 

Because I have been in love with you for so long that I don’t even know what it’s like to not love you.

Her heart soared every time she replayed that particular part – so much she just kept repeating the words back to herself for most of the ride.

The closer she got to his door, the more the anger came back. It didn’t matter how many times she replayed the sweet words because sooner or later the anger she felt when she walked away from him came creeping back in.

Just as she got to the door, it was opened and Miller was standing there in his police uniform with a bag slung over his shoulder.

“Oh, hey, Clarke. Looking for Bellamy?”

“Yeah,” Clarke took a deep breath.

“He’s in his room. I heard him up and moving around. Are you okay?”

Clarke took a deep breath, “I’m fine. Thanks, Miller.”

“Right. Well, I’ve got patrol today so – I’ll see you around,” Miller quickly slipped passed her and made his way down the hall.

Clarke walked into the apartment and shut the door behind her. She glanced around the apartment and listened and sure enough she could hear Bellamy moving around his room. Clarke stormed down the hallway praying to whatever entity was up there that he did not go back to a bar last night and pick some girl up. Then she winced guilty when she realized that wasn’t fair of her to assume he went back to his old ways.

Clarke didn’t bother knocking just opened his door and stormed in. Bellamy was standing on the other side of his room and looked like he had been pacing before she entered. 

Bellamy stopped and faced her before crossing his arms over his chest and just stood there and waited for her to begin. She should have expected that. The ball may have always been in his court, but he bounce-passed that thing so quick last night that she lost it and had to bring it back – and yeah, she was spending too much time with this guy if she was now making sports references in her head.

“You, asshole,” Clarke muttered quietly and crossed her arms over her chest to mirror his pose. “Years. I have waited years for you to say those things to me. And when you finally say it. It has to be while we’re having a screaming match at three in the morning in the middle of the lobby of my apartment building. That’s how you tell a girl you love her.”

It wasn’t a question, but she raised an eyebrow expecting a response.

“You’re unbelievable. I can’t do anything right for the perfect princess, can I? Even my love confession is wrong!” Bellamy took a deep breath before dropping his arms and his shoulders sagged. “Clarke, I’m not that guy. I’m not the big declaration of love with an armful of flowers guy. I don’t think about that stuff. I didn’t even mean to say it last night. You were just so – I don’t know and I just – I’m sorry. I’ll figure it out. Nothing has to change. I’ll just – I don’t know, get over it or something.”

By the time he was done speaking, he was rubbing the back of his neck and looking at his feet and Clarke had to smile to herself a little. Even after everything, he still didn’t realize that she felt the exact same way.

Clarke took a deep breath and the words just flowed from her, “I have been in love with you for so long that I don’t even know what it’s like to not love you. I know this because you rub the back of your neck when you’re embarrassed or nervous. You run a hand through your hair when you’re frustrated or down your face when you’re exasperated – especially with Octavia or Jasper. You worry about everything even if you don’t need to. You have so many different smiles. You have one that’s cocky, one that’s smug, one that’s more of a smirk, one that’s half a grin, but my favorite two that I work really hard to get out of you are the blinding one you send my way when you’re completely and unabashedly happy and the shy one I get when you’re surprised and happy and not really sure what to do because you don’t know what it’s like for someone to love you like you love them. And I did what I did at the bar not because I just want one night with you, but because I want all the nights with you and I have been trying to give you time and space to mourn your mom, but I’m scared if I give you too much time, I’ll lose you and I can’t lose you, Bell, because you’re the only thing I want in this life.”

Bellamy’s head had snapped up after her first sentence and he stood there slack-jawed and just staring at her. Clarke watched his Adam’s apple bob a few times and his mouth even opened and closed twice like he was trying to figure out what to say.

“Clarke,” Bellamy’s voice came out as a croak and he cleared it before continuing. “Clarke, this isn’t – are you sure?”

Clarke could feel the grin splitting her face as she nodded, “Of course I’m sure, Bell. Why wouldn’t I be sure? God, you ruin everything.”

“Shut up,” Bellamy grinned at her as he crossed the room and cradled her face in both his hands. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

“Finally!” Clarke’s laugh was cut off by his lips on hers and all other thoughts of teasing him went right out of her mind as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. 

Bellamy’s hands slid down her neck and around her back to land on her hips as he pulled her into him too.

The kiss started out slow and tentative, but soon she bit his lower lip and he opened his mouth to gasp and Clarke didn’t hesitate to slide her tongue into his mouth to meet his. She had waited long enough for this. She wasn’t going to wait anymore when it came to Bellamy because he was worth the risk.

“Clarke,” Bellamy mumbled against her lips before pulling away to rest his forehead against hers and they both paused to catch their breaths.

“God, I love you,” Bellamy said quietly and Clarke’s heart soared.

“Good, because I love you, too,” Clarke grinned and leaned up to kiss him again, but at the last minute he turned his head so her lips caught his cheek. 

“What?” Clarke sighed as Bellamy’s we need to talk face registered.

“I just – I want to do this right. I want to take this slow. Take you on dates and treat you like the insufferable princess you are,” Bellamy grinned at her, but Clarke could see the nervousness underneath.

“How slow is slow?” Clarke raised an eyebrow as she played with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“I don’t know. I’ve – I haven’t done this before. It’s why I want to do it right.”

A slow smile crossed her face as she saw the pink in Bellamy’s cheeks spreading to the tips of his ears.

“God, you’re adorable,” Clarke muttered before leaning up and pressing a chaste kiss on his lips.

“I am so not adorable,” Bellamy huffed, but Clarke just laughed and shook her head before taking a step back.

“Three dates.”

“What?” Bellamy reached out and pulled her back towards him.

“Three dates tends to be the accepted time frame,” Clarke laughed as he buried his nose in her hair.

“Okay,” he mumbled. “Three dates. That’s like a long time, isn’t it? Don’t I have to wait like two days after the first date before calling you or something?”

Clarke threw her head back laughing and when her eyes met Bellamy’s she saw all that love swimming in his eyes.

“Is it your goal to follow every dating cliché after you tell me you love me?”

“Clarke,” Bellamy whined. 

“Bell,” Clarke cut him off and placed both hands on either side of his face. “I don’t care how many dates we go on or when you call me. All I care about is that you love me and I love you. The rest is just semantics.”

“How romantic those semantics,” Bellamy grinned and Clarke shook her head.

“Says the guy who gave the most romantic speech I think I have ever heard and then claimed to not be a romantic.”

“We’re not having sex,” Bellamy finally blurted out.

“I wasn’t planning to – yet,” Clarke gave him a sly grin.

“God,” Bellamy leaned in and captured her lips with his again and she took his distraction to walk them towards his bed where she pushed him down and fell with him.

“What did I just say, princess?” Bellamy whispered in her ear as he began to lay kisses below her ear and down the side of her neck while rolling them over.

“No sex,” Clarke breathed out distracted by his descent. 

Bellamy quickly pulled away and Clarke whined at the loss of his lips on her. “What?” She huffed out – too breathlessly for her liking. 

“Where did you get this shirt?” Bellamy pulled at the front of the too large shirt which she had rolled the sleeves up and tucked in most of the shirt to overcompensate for it being clearly too big. It obviously wasn’t her dad’s like she originally thought. 

“Um, I don’t know. I haven’t done laundry in like three weeks so this was the only thing I could find. I think it’s from high school or something. It’s my dad’s, obviously.”

“No, it’s not,” Bellamy slipped a finger in between two buttons and began drawing lazy circles on her stomach – distracting her.

“Yes, it is. It’s not Wells’ – I swear.”

“I’d have a hard time believing that, princess,” Bellamy grinned before leaning down to whisper in her ear. “This was my favorite shirt. I have been looking for this shirt for years and you’re telling me you have no idea where it came from.”

Clarke’s breath caught as a memory slammed back into her. Bellamy was home visiting and doing laundry and Clarke and Octavia had got caught in a rainstorm. Octavia had just grabbed the closest thing she could find and handed it to Clarke to wear. The girls ended up in big shirts and Octavia’s tiny dance shorts on the couch watching movies while their clothes dried. 

Clarke grinned before removing her hands from Bellamy’s hair and letting her fingers drift back to the buttons, “Well, if you want it back that much.”

Clarke barely got one button through the hole before Bellamy’s hand came up to wrap around hers and hold her hand to her chest.

“Nope,” Bellamy groaned. “Doing this right, Blake. Doing this right.”

Clarke laughed loud and bright, “Giving yourself a pep talk there, Blake?”

“You have no idea how many times I’ve had to give myself a pep talk,” Bellamy sighed and dropped his head to her shoulder.

“Really?” Clarke asked softly. “How many?”

“I don’t remember, but it’s been a few years so it can number from one a day to about a hundred – depending on what you were doing.”

Clarke smiled softly and pulled Bellamy’s head up by his hair and placed a sound kiss on his lips. “Tell me more.”

Bellamy rolled off of her and pulled her to lay half on top of him as she curled around him.

“What do you want to know?” 

“Everything,” Clarke smiled as she buried her face in his chest and heard his laugh under her ear.

“Well that might be too much. Want to try narrowing it down for me?”

Clarke turned her head to rest her chin on his chest, “When did you realize you first liked me? Like just as a friend. When did you stop hating me so much?”

“When you were five,” Bellamy answered without hesitation.

“We met when I was five,” Clarke rolled her eyes and jabbed him in between the ribs and smiled at his grunt in response.

“I never hated you, Clarke. I resented that you had this perfect life and you came bouncing into Octavia’s life and it went from Bellamy tell me about this to Clarke said that. I guess I was just a little jealous that Octavia found someone else.”

Clarke smiled and leaned up to press a kiss on his jaw, “You know you’re still her favorite person. I was always kind of jealous of the relationship the two of you had.”

“Always wanted an annoying little sister who follows you around,” Bellamy grinned.

“No,” Clarke smiled softly. “I always wanted someone to love me unconditionally and always have my back through the good and the bad and would always be on my side.”

Clarke watched as the deepest blush she had ever seen cross Bellamy’s face as he remembered her telling him the same words when he was worried about Octavia and Lincoln.

“Or maybe I just really wanted my own Bellamy Blake,” Clarke buried her smile in his chest as he laughed out loud. 

“Ha. Ha. Very funny,” Bellamy cleared his throat. “What about you?”

“What about me?” Clarke tilted her head to meet his eyes.

“When did things change for you?” 

“I don’t think anything ever changed. I think you’ve always been my person. But I realized that meant something more when I thought you slept with Raven.”

“Clarke -” Bellamy started sounding pained.

“Bell, don’t worry about it. I know nothing happened. But I just realized I didn’t want to lose you.”

“You wouldn’t have lost me, Clarke.” Bellamy was shaking his head.

“No. I would have eventually. Someone would have come along and they would have had every right to be your person and for you to be theirs.” 

“What do you mean by person?” Bellamy raised an eyebrow skeptically. “The last time I heard that phrase was when Grey’s Anatomy came out and you and Octavia would scream that you were each other’s person.”

Clarke laughed tucking her face into his chest. “It’s a different kind of person than that.” Clarke paused thinking it through. “Well maybe not. You’re the person I turn to whenever I need anything - whether it’s good news, or bad news. You’re always the first person I want to tell. And you’re the person I want to share everything with.”

“Okay?” Bellamy looked confused when she picked her head up to look at him. “That sounds a lot like on Grey’s Anatomy.”

Clarke smiled. “Except on Grey’s Anatomy, Meredith and Christina’s person was not the person it should have been. It was great for female empowerment. But it should have been the person they were planning to spend the rest of their lives with. That’s who your person should be - your partner in life. Plus, you make a much better McDreamy than what’s his name.”

“You want to spend the rest of your life with me?” Bellamy sounded funny and when Clarke turned around to look at him he had this goofy grin on his face.

Clarke rolled her eyes, but could feel a blush starting on her chest and working its way up to her face. “Of course, you idiot. Were you not paying attention to the big love confession I just gave you?”

Bellamy grinned before pressing a hard and fast kiss onto her lips. “Please, do tell me more.” 

“No,” Clarke said around a huge yawn. “Your ego is big enough already.”

Bellamy chuckled before sliding down further on the bed to get more comfortable and Clarke curled into his side.

“Alright, princess. Just this once I’ll let that ego comment go. But as soon as you wake up you’ve got some explaining to do.”

Clarke smiled. “I can hear you yawning, Bell. Don’t act like you’re not just as tired.”

“Whatever,” Bellamy grumbled and if he said anything else, Clarke lost it as she fell asleep quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess the next chapter is going to be more of a filler chapter. I wanted this one in Clarke's POV and the next big one had to be in Clarke's too so this Bellamy chapter will probably be really short.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic ever! I use to write them in my head all the time, but would change the characters' names or stories and I finally just decided to write one for real. I hope you like it and let me know what you think!


End file.
